Why Is He Like This

if you write a strong character, let them fail.

if you write a selfless hero, let them get mad at people.

if you write a cold-hearted villain, make them cry.

if you write a brokenhearted victim, let them smile again.

if you write a bold leader, make them seek guidance.

if you write a confident genius, make them be wrong, or get stumped once in a while.

if you write a fighter or a warrior, let them lose a battle, but let them win the war.

if you write a character who loses everything, let them find something.

if you write a reluctant hero, give them a reason to fight.

credit:@aj-eddy

it's always so fascinating and heartbreaking when a character in a story is simultaneously idolized and abused. a chosen prophet destined for martyrdom. a child prodigy forced to grow up too fast. a powerful warrior raised as nothing but a weapon. there's just something so uniquely messed up about singing someone's praises whilst destroying them.

when someone leaves a comment on your work saying they liked a certain bit of the chapter, and you can’t remember what the fuck you wrote @professional-benaddict

things that don’t belong on AO3

People out there who are new to AO3 might not realize that some of the things they are posting actually violate the Terms of Service. While these kinds of posts are great for social media sites like tumblr or Twitter, they are actually not allowed on AO3. AO3 isn’t a social media site. It’s a fanfiction archive. 

Since most people don’t read the Terms of Service for sites that they use (no shade - I’m including myself in that description), I thought I’d make a post about things that you should not post on AO3. This list is in no particular order:

requests to help find a fic

lists of prompts

requests for prompts

translations of someone else’s work, if you don’t have their permission (this includes published fiction as well as fanfic)

someone else’s work (either published or fannish)

liveblog reactions to watching episodes 

invitations to a discord server

songfics that include the full lyrics to a copyrighted song

a placeholder - no actual fic, just a work posted saying that a fic will eventually be there

class notes or homework (unless that homework is fic or fandom meta)

searches for role playing partners

rec lists

requests for recommendations

callout posts

fandom organizing (ex. let’s vote X for People’s Choice!)

requests for money 

fic planning/outlining

As new people join the site, works like these are bound to be posted to AO3. Give friends and fellow fans a heads up, and hopefully by letting people know ahead of time they can avoid posting these mistakes. 

Remember, it’s a group of volunteers who needs to deal with all of these posted works so if we can lighten the load they’re dealing with I’m sure they’d appreciate it. ❤

I came across this article, and it got me thinking about neurodivergence and platonic relationships.

Bring on the Pigeons

Aromanticism, Aplatonicism, Neurodivergence and Me

Originally, I was going to call this post “Accepting that I was aro was a lot harder than accepting that I was ace, but not for the reasons

Like OP I'd heard of the term aplatonic, but I'd resisted applying the label to myself. It made me kind of uncomfortable, like a flickering light that I'd refused to look at or focus on. I'd think 'that can't be me, I want friends' then move on before I could think about it too much. Because deep down this term struck a chord. One that felt too much like saying 'I'm a bad person who doesn't like their friends'.

But I am bad at maintaining friendships. Not super great at making them either if I'm honest. Most of this can possible be explained by autism, and my struggle with friendships was the primary reason why I'd started suspecting that I might be autistic. (But am I really autistic though?)

I'd heard other autistics explaining how they kind of lack object permanence when it comes to people. Not that they literally don't think that someone doesn't exist when they don't see them, but that they don't think of them. This mirrors my own experience with friends. I don't think of them that often. And if I do and realise that I haven't spoken or seen them in a while, then actually contacting them for catch up takes a lot of energy and mental prep before hand. Phoning people makes me anxious, even for people I talk to all the time and know that I can talk to easily. It's a huge mental effort to go 'I'm going to call Sally today'. Even then I'll probably tidy my bedroom first, do the laundry, vacuum etc., then decide it's too late and put off calling her for another week.

Recently I came across the term 'relationship degradation mechanics' by twitter user Khoshtistic. They described it in terms of their ADHD, but it also describes my own experience perfectly. The term comes about from video games which have a friendship meter for NPCs which either fills up over time, or empties, depending on how often you interact with an NPC. I frequently forget about my friends (that faulty object permanence), I don't message them, call, or organise meet ups. There have been times when I've decided to message someone and then realised that the last time I interacted with them was a year ago. In those instances I often feel so guilty about it that I decide against messaging them completely. Why draw attention to it? When I do happen to catch up with a friend, months or years after I last saw them, I'm often surprised that our friendship bar has degraded. I expect things to be the same as when we last met up, but they aren't.

My partner is always messaging his friends. He is the polar opposite of me in many ways, but especially in this. If he hasn't seen his friends for a while he gets sad and upset about it. When I ask him how long it's been, he'll tell me that it's been ages. But how long is that? A couple weeks, he says. For him those couple of weeks span a millennia, for me that feels like yesterday.

This type of conversation is not uncommon for us:

Him: We haven't seen Sally and John in ages

Me: But we just saw them. Remember? we played board games

Him: That was 2 weeks ago!

Me: Exactly. Only 2 weeks ago.

We both have a very different understanding of time.

His relationship with friendships is informed by his ADHD in a very different way to mine. He worries that if he doesn't stay in contact with people constantly, then they'll think he hates them and subsequently decide that they hate him too. Rejection Sensitivity Disorder (RSD) is a bitch. I'm glad I don't have that, but sometimes I wish I cared a little more than I do.

He cares so much for his friends and what they think of him. Sometimes I feel like I'm not really friends with anyone, and that I'm only preforming friendship. Sometimes I feel like an unfeeling robot, and the ace/aro community often (unintentionally) amplifies that feeling. The uncaring aro or ace person is a common trope that the aspec community rails against, usually by saying that one can still have strong and intimate platonic relationships. However this is something that I don't have either. I'm ace, aro, and at the very least bad at friends. So what does that make me?

I don't know, that got me thinking...

Gender: peace and quietness

Sexuality: I have no idea

Romance: not in this life, only in fiction

@mischievousmary @language-of-blueberries

Gender, Sexuality, Romantic Attraction Tagging Game

How do: You put your gender, sexuality, and romantic attraction down with a line break between them—but, here's the catch, don't use any labels! So, for example, this, "Gender? Agender Sexuality? Lesbian Romantic Attraction? Demiromantic" would be this: "Gender? I hardly know 'er! Sexuality? Girl-kisser Romantic Attraction? My friends, I think"

So, here's mine!

Gender? Yours, fool Sexuality? Yes Romantic Attraction? Only if I know you well enough

TAGS (under the cut, and don't feel obligated to do it!) (and obviously those who I have not tagged can participate too)

@bassguitarinablackt-shirt @gloriousvermin @midnight-thedyke @littlebookworm69 @runwiththerain @cybercerealkiller @ishouldsleepbut @ssavinggrace @i-love-your-father @us-costco-official @scifikode @i-am-an-arson-enthusiast

i’ve been on hold at my library for a book about asexuality for a few weeks and i just read an article about some concepts in the book re: consent. and holy shit. blew my mind. i’ve NEVER read about consent in the context of a relationship with an ace and an allo that resonated so strongly with me, and as a person in such a relationship!! it’s so!!! i’m even more excited for the book now.

for anyone interested, the article is How to Negotiate Better Consent: An Asexual Perspective and the book i’m waiting for is Ace: What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Society and the Meaning of Sex.

Help! Looking for a Beta Reader!

Hi, how are you? Now that we've finished the first arc of “Sitter's Love” I was wondering if anyone was interested in proofreading it for me? Jus the first arc, for now. This will finally be the last version. If it's possible, I'd like someone who's good at grammar and good at catching those little mistakes, you know? And also check any sentences that sounded weird, and a general opinion of the plot? I'd appreciate it if you could leave your opinion on the story and the characters at the end of each chapter, or every couple of chapters. I need betas for the English and Portuguese versions. I was even going to ask the beta I already know, but… there have been so many screw-ups on my part that I'm embarrassed to ask her. So if anyone is willing, I'd be very happy to ask for your help.

Yes! I went through it this week. Sometimes I forget about the power of doing nothing (productive). It was amazing.

some of you need to make your bed and have a shower with a soap that smells nice, and then sit in a chair near the window and have tea with milk and read a hardcover book and see how your creative block is after that tbh.