HAPPY TRANS DAY OF VISIBILITY EVERYONE!! I Am Closeted But I Tried To Celebrate Today By Drawing And

Welp. Reddit is dead, and I’m not sure if anyone is willing to reanimate its corpse. Reddit was the only place I could be myself, vent about my issues, stuff like that. Tumblr doesn’t fill the same void in my heart, but it’s decent enough. Hope I can make friends here. I’ll miss my moots over there. RIP aspiememes, traa, and many others. I feel like this collapse will have terrible consequences.

TLDR- i am so sad

You can bend over backwards trying not to be one of “those” cringey queers who wears pride everywhere and goes by arson and has they/it/fluff/pixel/boo pronouns on a catgender pin they wear everywhere and suppress everything “extra” unlikable about your identity and pass as a “normal” cishet and mock everyone who dyes their hair for pride and wears rainbow nail polish and guess what? Conservatives will still want you dead. There is no appeasing them. Stand by your community. Maybe you’ll find that arson (they/it/fluff/pixel/boo) is going to be the best goddamn person to have in your corner when the republicans you’ve given up your life to placate inevitably turn on you and try to sentence you to death because any amount of queer is too damn queer. Maybe you’ll find that we are a community for a reason. We’re all equally degenerate in the eyes in conservatives and equally worthy of joy and life in the eyes of the “weird” queer community you shun.

Diary Entry #20

I got a binder and two packers!!! Too bad I can't wear them basically anywhere lmao but still. I cleaned my room with my binder on. I was so worried it wasn't making me flat enough, i mean it doesn't matter now but when I go on T it might.

I made sure to order the right size but after like an hour of wearing it I still kinda hurt. But I'm okay now (it's my second time wearing it, first time wearing it for any significant amount of time.)

I went down a very brief spiral (brief being like 15 minutes tops) where I was like "OH MY GOD WHAT IF I'M NOT TRANS." But looking back, I think it's because my binder didn't make me like 100% flat, more like I have pecs or maybe gynomastia and I'm pretty sure now that's what it was.

But seeing me in pictures with my binder (with my face/hair mostly cropped out) on made me super happy, it's just that looking at me irl still makes me think I look very fem because I still have these fem characteristics and it makes me feel kinda bad. My spiral was not very rational.

I think the thought "what if my binder doesn't actually bind enough?? What if I still look like I have a large chest??" isn't actually very cis, looking back on it. I'm gonna post some pictures of me in a shirt with and without the binder and let y'all be the judge. I think I'm just freaking out over nothing, but I can't stop thinking like that. Under the cut btw, first pic with binder second pic w/o.

Here’s my epic autism moment- my pizza tower and PvZ ocs!!

Why is a plants vs zombies zombie oc trans? Because I said so, that’s why lmao. If a plant can go by they/them, surely a zombie can use pronouns. Idk lol

Anyways here’s the description of both of them-

Alice/August (he/him for both)-

They are my self-insert, with August being an alter-ego/transformed version of Alice (not actually my deadname.) I designed them with a noise/noisette kinda style. August is extroverted and courageous, while Alice is introverted and cowardly. When Alice feels confident and happy enough, they transform/switch into August. People think they are completely different people, but they at least share the same body. They’re kind of a representation of my online and offline self. Alice is usually called a “she”, but he’s a he. He doesn’t tell anyone what he goes by, and avoids the question whenever possible.

Nico (he/him)-

Nico is a zombie that is generally very intelligent compared to the others, but he is much less tough. He has a bit of a “zombie” accent, but tries to get speech therapy to get rid of the voice. He is the son of Dr. Edgar Zomboss, possibly explaining his above-average intelligence; it’s unknown if he has any siblings. Zomboss refuses to call him his son, referring to him as a “she” and by his deadname “Nicole”. Nico does not eat brains, but will occasionally eat pork brains as a sort of treat. He’s on the plants/humans side, and wants to defeat his father. He has an advantage, as he learned a lot about his father before he left his household so he knows a lot of his plans. Plants know not to attack him, as he’s pretty visually distinct.

[Start ID: First image is of my Pizza Tower oc, Alice/August. They have blonde hair, blue eyes, and wear glasses. August is who Alice tranforms into when he feels confident/happy enough. Alice wears a white shirt, blue jeans, and has his blond hair in a bob. August wears a teal cape, a binder, and cargo pants and has his blond hair short in a middle part. The second image is my plants vs zombies oc, Nico. He looks like a typical pvz zombie, except his pupils are slightly larger. He wears headphones, has brown hair, wears a white shirt with a binder underneath, wears cargo pants, and has a trans pride pin. /End ID]

Zombie canvas is finally done..

This was quite fun to do despite the time it took.

Bonus zombies that didn't make it into the big canvas, but i wanted to draw anyway:

I've never drawn so many zombies in a while.

[ Psst, reblogs are appreciated! ]

Family: Why dont you go to chick-fil-a???? You don't like their food???

Me:

It's such a mervyn peake dead rat poem morning

One of the poems ever.

this speaking as a cis person. Nothing brings me more joy seeing people find gender euphoria in becoming a mediocre representation of humanity. And I mean that so genuinely. Local boy finds joy and fulfillment wearing a cargo shorts and t-shirt combo. Local girl has transitioned to look like someone's disheveled aunt, has never been happier. Local person experiences gender euphoria rocking the world's worst bowl-cut. Without a scap of irony, this shit makes me see the wonder and whimsy in just, being a human. An average, person going through their day-to-day, is a wondrous thing? That's amazing. And heteronormativity has stripped these experiences of their joy. Like you're right, wearing a basic girlypop skirt should make my heart sing. Why not? Why are these expressions lesser because they're normal? All this to say. Shoutout to all the basic bitches out there. Yes that polo shirt does make you look like a divorced golfer dad. Yes, that too is kind of a slay, now that I think of it.

Stellaluna by Janell Cannon