Diary Entry #18

The only thing scary about Halloween this year are these temperatures! Ha ha ha! *pulls the mic close* I'm going to start killing oil executives

a peppino to make me (and you) feel better

@glurblr and @raineboweclispe

Ten things

Last song listened to-

Hey Rich Boy by The Millionaires (lol)

Favorite color-

Navy blue, mint green

Last book read-

American Teenager (really good btw!! About trans teenager experiences in America)

Last TV show watched-

Gravity Falls

Sweet/spicy/savory-

Savory for the most part if I understood the question right!

Relationship status-

Single 😔

Last thing I googled-

"News for today" i like to stay informed

Current obsession-

PVZ (please help me it's the only thing I think about)

Looking forward to-

Getting out of my house where I'm not accepted

You can bend over backwards trying not to be one of “those” cringey queers who wears pride everywhere and goes by arson and has they/it/fluff/pixel/boo pronouns on a catgender pin they wear everywhere and suppress everything “extra” unlikable about your identity and pass as a “normal” cishet and mock everyone who dyes their hair for pride and wears rainbow nail polish and guess what? Conservatives will still want you dead. There is no appeasing them. Stand by your community. Maybe you’ll find that arson (they/it/fluff/pixel/boo) is going to be the best goddamn person to have in your corner when the republicans you’ve given up your life to placate inevitably turn on you and try to sentence you to death because any amount of queer is too damn queer. Maybe you’ll find that we are a community for a reason. We’re all equally degenerate in the eyes in conservatives and equally worthy of joy and life in the eyes of the “weird” queer community you shun.

be free!!

This post made me feel a lot of emotions. Thank you anon, sm.

I am a trans man and I have lots in common with cis men.

I am a Jewish man, and my “ethnic” white features are the ones that trans men meet with fear and revulsion: hairiness, balding, shortness, and carrying weight in my hips and ass. I look like my father, my grandfather, and my brother. I will not apologize for that.

I am a queer man, and I love and defend my queerness. I get de-gendered and they/themmed because I am expressive, I am dynamic, and I am loud. I love drag, I love to queen out, I love gay mens’ history and culture. I love leather, I love kink, and I love seeing other people like me in those spaces. I love to feel, see, hear, touch and connect with other men— cis and trans.

I am a disabled man. I have that in common with cis men too. Men who are afraid they are not manly enough because they are not physically strong, because they cannot endure hard labor, or work out or play sports. Men who are “weak” for being mentally ill, or autistic, or expressing their emotions at inappropriate times. Autistic men who have “childish” interests and are terrified of being mocked for them, or who can only enjoy what they love “ironically”.

I am on HRT. I have that in common with hundreds of men who have naturally lower testosterone, and older men. I wear a binder, which is something I have in common with men with gynecomastia.

The longer I transition, the more the constellation of traits that make me “clockable” or “non passing” as trans shifts, and takes on new meaning. Yes, I have wide hips, a big ass, I am short, I am queer, I am mentally ill. No, I am not like “the average” man. But I see myself reflected in new places all the time.

I am a person who wields the privileges of whiteness and male gender. I am constantly learning how to be humble, how to let others speak, and how to be in mutuality and support instead of “protective”. I see this same struggle in other men in activism, who have been assumed to be leaders, but now need to learn to follow, and learn to listen.

I am a man, straightforwardly. Other men are my brothers, and I love them. Women are my sisters, and I care for them and want them to walk freely in the world. No person is not my kin, and I want them to be liberated. All our fights are entwined.

Thanks for making the space to share this.

An absolutely beautiful message, thank you.

[Start ID: A picture of a grey hamster on a blue couch. Top text says “I can’t fucking take it”, bottom text says “seriously I’m at my limit. /End ID]

Tw- transphobia

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Today fucking sucked

Misgendered constantly, had to deal with my annoying bible thumping counselor being queerphobic, and I had to admit I wasn’t straight at my appointment (they ask for your sexuality for some fucking reason, I lied at first but my grandma said “be honest” so I told them the truth after that.)

Could someone please use my name (August) in a sentence with my pronouns (he/him/it) I’m not feeling too great rn.

I feel like you guys should see this

Sound on if you guys wanna know what a little King Vulture sounds like 👀

You. Are. worthy.

Even if you never drive. Even if you need help with basic tasks. Even if you need help with hygiene. Even if you’ll never work. Even if you’ll need help for the rest of your life. You’re. Still. Worthy.

Don’t let anyone tell you that you’re useless, or that you don’t deserve certain things. You’re amazing, and I see you.

"French Pokémon names are so beautiful"

Sorry had to share this clip it's funny to me