Diary Entry #14

no, No!

I refuse!

I refuse to give into the transmasc temptation of naming myself after my current character hyperfixation

it didnt work the last 30 times why would it work now

(unless..)

Wait guys is this a scam I've gotten like 3+ more just like this

"Hello, I hope you and your family are well. Can you please help me recycle the post on my account? 🌺 And help rescue my family from the war in Gaza? 🙏 Thank you."

https://gofund.me/7a794018

Reposting this!!

me: you literally have a disorder. this is symptoms

me: no perhaps my soul is rotten

RAAHHHHH I LOVE ART SO MUCH!!!!

Lolcow culture is so fucking weird dude. Like these (mostly neurodivergent) people are being told to do horrible things to themselves and/or others because "it's funny". It's so strange. I stand by my opinion, even though I made a post on reddit and deleted it because I was scared of kiw1farms finding it and making me into a lolcow (it's something I worry a lot about, because I am autistic and sometimes end up posting stupid stuff), and half of the people in the autism meme sub I was on disagreed with me.

Kiw1farms scares the fuck out of me tbh. I used to be interested in lolcows and stuff, but I realize that it's really strange and probably stupid to watch someone degrade over time, it feels like I'm participating in something awful by even watching it. (I never was a lolcow forum user, but I used to watch videos on it.)

Sorry this is long and kind of off topic, but I agree with your post a lot.

at this point I'm on the side of the people who draw fat furry art and view my body as attractive over the people who openly try to condemn that art and who always ironically ends up being into lolcow stuff and other puritanical bullshit.

The only thing scary about Halloween this year are these temperatures! Ha ha ha! *pulls the mic close* I'm going to start killing oil executives

@lesgay-loser i saw you tagged this as needing ids so uh here I go!! sorry if it sucks I'm gonna try sometimes I'm overly verbose or not detailed enough so if anyone else sees this and can improve my IDs oh my god please send advice /gen

First image id-

[ID: a stick figure labeled "You" saying "girls need to stay OUT of gay spaces I hate fujoshis" points a gun at a stick figure labeled "weirdo who ships real people and asks gay people about their sex position unprompted (doesn't care)" with a shield, which reflects the bullet to a stick figure with multiple different labels reflecting different people. "This is about me isn't it (sometimes it actually is)", "achillian/mlm genderqueer women", "bigender gay guy", "gay trans man in denial", "trans woman who still feels connected to gayness/the gay community", "mlm girlboys", and "nonbinary gays afab". /END ID]

Second image id-

[ID: a stick figure labeled "You" saying "men can't be lesbians" points a gun at at a stick figure labeled "gross cishet man who thinks good dick can turn lesbians straight and doesn't care about consent" with a shield, which reflects the bullet to a stick figure with multiple different labels reflecting different people. "This is about me isn't it (sometimes it actually is)", "he/him butches", "lesboys", "nonbinary lesbians AMAB", "lesbian trans women in denial/the closet", "trans women generally who think you're calling them men and being transphobic", "bigender lesbians", and "genderqueer lesbians who are also cis guys". /END ID]

I wish people understood the way that "fujoshi" hate and "men can't be lesbians" sentiment and exclusionism regarding orientations keeps trans/genderqueer/nonbinary people in denial and closeted for longer.

Thinking about buying myself a binder… but how would I hide the purchase? Idk it makes me anxious. Still living with my grandparents.

Diary entry #15

Feeling a little bit better. I've been reading a lot recently, the pvz comics and also "american teenager" which is a book about trans kids' perspectives! It's really good so far!

My brain is whirring with different fanfic ideas.

I ordered a crazy dave figure and sunflower plushie and I'm so excited!! I wish they shipped soon but whatever i guess lol

This is the first line of official pvz merch in forever. I wish they made an Edgar Zomboss figure or plushie or whatever but I'll take what I can get haha!

I know I'm just distracting myself from the horrible reality ahead but it's nice to be distracted sometimes

I think I'm at like peak hyperfixation when it comes to plants vs zombies; idk how much longer it's going to last but judging on my other hyperfixations it might be a year or more before it fully fades.

[ID: a screenshot of a Youtooz pre-order with a Crazy Dave figure and Sunflower plush /END ID]

For the love of god stop