So Excited! I Stepped Up From Doing All Those Short Story Audiobooklets For TheTumblr Writing Community

Chilly film noir, a monologue written by Eric Boyd that was published in issue nine of The Fourth River.  It's called Anything For Johnny. Performed by Russil Tamsen. 10 minutes. Original text here.

Today we have a serious drama, just in case you were thinking I could only do goofy! We follow an inmate through the last bitter moments of his incarceration, his release from jail, and his first disappointing moments of freedom. It's rough for a guy having to start over with empty pockets in the middle of winter, but he's got one thing going for him: at least one Jamaican thinks he looks like Johnny Depp. 

[Funny thing: my gf thinks I look like Depp also, but it 's probably her rose-colored classes talking.]  All rights reserved. Russil Tamsen: narrator, comic improv actor, book editor, and author of 21 ebooks. Please visit my ebookstore at QuirkEbooks.com and follow audiobooknarrator. Know a piece of Tumblr fiction that deserves a great reader? Run it by me!

A nutty short story called Sleepy Daze by Tumblr's how-to-shoot-a-squid, comically narrated by Russil Tamsen. Original text here.

Possibly my favorite narration so far! The story follows a charmingly stoic poor bastard, a put-upon dufus named Justin. We track his hospital misadventures after his ear falls off one day - and starts talking to him!! The bloke gets beaten down by his harpie of an ex and by a sadistic nurse, but he keeps on going... and he's going to give his agent a heart attack.

There's a great rhythm to the writing in this piece, a lilt you wouldn't know without having lived somewhere near London. Chris asked for Estuary English, so I gave it my best shot! Thanks for the opportunity to do a longer piece, mate! (17 mins).

All rights reserved. Russil Tamsen: narrator, comic improv actor, book editor, and author of 21 ebooks. Please visit my ebookstore at QuirkEbooks.com and follow audiobooknarrator. Know a piece of Tumblr fiction that deserves a great reader? Run it by me!

I made Tom Robbins crack up! Score!

At the writers conference, famed novelist Tom Robbins had us do a writing exercise.

1. Write down your favorite word...  (Then we all read out our favorite words. Mine was Australopithecus. Say what?)

2. Write a first sentence of a story/novel/whatever, using that word... (Oh, if had known that's where he was heading!... So we read out our sentences. I had the class laughing.)  

3. Write a second sentence that connects to that first one and opens up the potential of the story.  (We all read our completed sentence pair.) Here's what I came up with:

"Most early hominids sported shaggy manes, but none had a more luxurious, enviable head of hair than Bob the Australopithecus. His sweaty female, Boo, however showed little interest in his chevelure and seemed far more jazzed by the rugged Javamen who had been beaching their sea canoes that morning." I didn't get a chance to explain away the time travel aspect... ;-)

Back in March of this year a well-established author approached me to do an audio book for her. I had done erotica narrations before; this one was a bit of a stretch for me, being a gay erotic romance. Came out pretty well, actually! Lots of fun character voicings. Even some steamy humor, all fresh out of the oven and for sale! Pass along 2 your gay pals...

At The Whisky Girl, a flash fiction by Scott Syx aka cheshirecatgrins, read by Russil Tamsen. 4:21 mins. Original text here. 

An unlikely romantic encounter between a pair of drinkers starts at a noisy night club. The two grapple cautiously on the perilous road to intimacy - their respective emotional baggages casting long shadows along the way...

This piece said noir to me (although updated). So I said noir back! 

All rights reserved. Russil Tamsen: narrator, comic improv actor, book editor, and author of 21 ebooks. Please visit my ebookstore at QuirkEbooks.com and follow audiobooknarrator. Know a piece of Tumblr fiction that deserves a great reader? Run it by me!

Your Cheatin' Heart, a dark flash fiction by Nick Desjardins aka a-new-american-classic, as narrated by Russil Tamsen. Only 4 mins. Perfect for all you Quentin Tarantino fans! Original text here. On a slow night, some morbid humor unfolds in a southern pool hall: the bartender's hot mess of a lesbian roommate stumbles in and casually spills some shocking news...

All rights reserved. Russil Tamsen: narrator, comic improv actor, book editor, and author of 21 ebooks. Please visit my ebookstore at QuirkEbooks.com and follow audiobooknarrator. Know a piece of Tumblr fiction that deserves a great reader? Run it by me!

Second Story Window, a short story by Gibson Grand, narrated by Russil Tamsen. 6 mins. Original here. It's a night of awkward teenage blues when a fat boy and a homely girl are the only ones not hooking up at a basement party... She is soon blossoming into a beauty. To his chagrin, she will catch him peeping when she is bathing. They will manage to become friends anyway, but there will still be an elephant in the room... All rights reserved. Russil Tamsen: narrator, comic improv actor, book editor, and author of 21 ebooks. Please visit my ebookstore at QuirkEbooks.com and follow audiobooknarrator. Know a piece of Tumblr fiction that deserves a great reader? Run it by me!

An audience member at a recent fiction open mic suggested that I ought to apply my talent for character voices to the presumably exciting field of prank phone calls. I wasn't quite sure how to take that...

Here's the first of two dialogues, audio selections from the writings of the talented David Blanton aka irrationalgraceistaken, as narrated by Russil Tamsen. 5 mins. Original text here.

The chapter is amusingly risque. A Nawleens poetry dude shoots the shit in a cafe with a very imaginative friend who's trying to 'help' him write his novel. 5 mins.

All rights reserved. Russil Tamsen: narrator, comic improv actor, book editor, and author of 21 ebooks. Please visit my ebookstore at QuirkEbooks.com and follow audiobooknarrator. Know a piece of Tumblr fiction that deserves a great reader? Run it by me!

The Old Man and The Sparrow, a touching short story by Sarah Dame (known around these Tumblr parts as flightedd), as narrated by Russil Tamsen. Original text here.

Welcome to a warm, timeless fable about a debilitated old-timer. He's rejected by his grown children and burdened with regrets, but he is finally able to let it all go in peace. In this case, it's mostly thanks to a helpful little avian friend who is willing to fly just far enough to bring back news about cherished places and lost friendships. These updates put the old man's mind to rest - for the last time.

A simple story, so I felt drawn to using the kind of fireside narration voice one might associate with children's books and bedtime stories. If this doesn't bring a little tear to your eye, you might want to check you pulse to see if you are still alive...

All rights reserved. Russil Tamsen: narrator, comic improv actor, book editor, and author of 21 ebooks. Please visit my ebookstore at QuirkEbooks.com and follow audiobooknarrator. Know a piece of Tumblr fiction that deserves a great reader? Run it by me!