— November 20, 1913 / Franz Kafka Diaries

january is one of those months where you experience every feeling on the human spectrum and you just have to go about your day like that isn't happening

i have been rearranged at a molecular level

In all timelines, in all possibilities

So like, does anybody else ever think about Jonathan and David? Unrequited gay love, desperately trying to stop your insane dad from killing your not quite bf who just so happens to be married to your sister, being so invested that you’re willing to give up your throne and DIE for him so he can one day take your father’s place as king of a weird-ass sect of desert nomads under the provision of their vengeful god? Cause I’d watch the hell out of that movie.

the feminine ruge to help your parents or let them destroy themselves, no in-between.

SPOILER WARNING FOR TSATS

My personal opinion of TSATS that no one asked for-

I personally loved Nico and Will’s relationship throughout the story, it felt realistic considering their situation and their miscommunication seemed accurate as no relationship is going to be constantly perfect, though I do wish their conversations were a bit longer

I love Will but I feel like this book left a lot of things unanswered about him, like they wanted to follow up on a promise of development for him but weren’t exactly sure how to follow through, especially with a book so focused on Nico. If this story had lasted even 2 books instead of 1, there would have been more development possible

The first half of the book, I loved. The trogs, Menoetes, Gorgyra, all of it felt the closest to books with Nico and Will I’d read in the past. Once they got to Tartarus was around when I started noticing this weird feeling, like something wasn’t right. It wasn’t super in your face or anything, but there was more that caught me off guard

I say this in the most love filled way possible, but parts of the book felt like a tumblr post

I honestly don’t really get the whole ‘Nico’s out of character’ thing I see people saying. His change feels natural, a part of his healing as he learns to accept joy into his life and focus on being a teenager. If anything, the dumb references seemed exactly like him, just a side we haven’t gotten to see in a while

If anything, Will seemed the most out of character, which makes sense. He’s someone whose POV we haven’t seen before, stuck in a place which is bringing out parts of him that don’t usually show on a surface level. The Will that so many people had in their head before this book was seen through other eyes, and now people are acting disappointed that he’s not who they thought he was when we weren’t given enough information to form a fair original impression of him

The one thing that kind of grated on me in this book was, unfortunately, the gay stuff. Nico and Will’s relationship felt so natural in the past, it felt almost more supportive to have it treated so plainly, a simple fact that Nico and Will were dating, and that was that. And don’t get me wrong, I was all for more representation, and things like Piper’s partner being mentioned or just simply Nico and Will being together was incredible. But now it just seemed to be all over the place, and again, often when it was mentioned it felt like a tumblr post

Wtf was up with Hazel and Reyna?? You know?? His two living sister figures?? I appreciate that we finally got some closure on Bianca, but to see Nico barely mention the other two kind of bugged me

The trogs should get a mini book. I said what I said

Idk bout y’all but Bob calling solangelo his sun and his star was some of the cutest shit-

Wtf was Nico’s coming out though like it still felt like it wasn’t fully his decision, after Cupid it seemed a little weird not letting his coming out be a private moment with the people he trusted most

Kinda confused how Nico survived his first fall to Tartarus when he didn’t have shit to protect himself? And yet with Will they had to make a half pipe to survive. How did Nico not just become a pancake on impact?? <- genuine question, anyone got ideas??

I think part of what made this book just slightly off for me was the lack of other characters. Even when it was just Percy and Annabeth in Tartarus, there were more familiar monsters, new friends, and there were other characters chapters in between theirs. I think that was why the Underworld part of the book resonated with me more than the Tartarus part, there were more characters to help the book move more smoothly

Also, they were fighting against Nyx, who is literally night. I know maybe my expectations were too high, but I was kind of hoping for more of a clash between night and the child of the sun

Overall, I liked this book a lot and it helped me reconnect with a part of myself I hadn’t explored in a while, but there’s a lingering ache of disappointment that I didn’t love it. Whether it needed more books to come to its full potential, or I raised my expectations too high, I don’t know. I’m still happy to own the book, to have read the book, and maybe the remaining melancholy is just a feeling of having to let go of characters, but I’d say this book did at least give some closure to all the sadness Nico has been through. The book did market itself as a ‘Nico Di Angelo Adventure’ so it makes sense he got the most insight

i love talking to people in real life and being like “oh yeah i have instagram but i don’t really use it… i don’t have facebook or tiktok or anything like that either… idk i just don’t want to waste my life on social media, i prefer to live in the moment” and then i go home and spend 12 hours a day on tumblr

Me @ myself anytime I open my mouth:

Marguerite Duras, from The Lover

Text ID: I think I'm beginning to see my life. I think I can already say, I have a vague desire to die. From now on I treat that word and my life inseparable.