Romanticizing Being A Jackass Member.

CIGARETTES OUT THE WINDOW

— johnny k.

chapter I. -+ “down the rabbit hole.”

[ social media AU - crackfic - SERIES ]

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You were on the way to your new LA apartment from the airport in the backseat of a taxi, and you’d turn off your phone after you posted that last picture of the city view you had out the car window. Your dog was warmly asleep next to you, with his head on your lap. That added some type of comfort at least. You softly scratched his head as you closed your eyes and focused on the sound of the city around you.

When you were dropped off to your apartment you couldn’t stay there for long. You didn’t have enough energy to un-pack and the rest of your furniture wouldn’t be here until 5 pm the next day. So you grabbed Paul Anka’s leash and went out to look for a place to eat. When you finally found a place after walking, you turned on your phone as you got your food and all the notifications came flooding in. You fed some fries to your dog sat next to you as you scrolled through the notifications.

One seemed to catch your eye…

“rydunn wait, aren’t you johnny’s friend?”

What? You unlocked your phone to go on instagram to see the person had also privately messaged you.

(n6me)

sorry

i don’t know who johnny is..

rydunn

johnny knoxville?

sorry i’m one of his friends and was just wondering

(n6me)

i still dk who johnny knoxville is tho

rydunn

does pj clapp help?

some people might know him as that

(n6me)

you know him??

how??

rydunn

yeah

we met on jackass

(n6me)

jackass??

rydunn

it’s a show

“so he made it..” you thought. You didn’t notice even the warmth on your heart growing more and more through-out your body. I mean, it wasn’t your fault you felt insanely proud at the moment.

(n6me)

does it do good?

rydunn

?

(n6me)

the show

rydunn

oh

well yeah i mean that’s kinda why we’re celebrating

(n6me)

really?

omg that’s amazing

rydunn

thanks lol

so

should i put u down the guest list? or r u not coming

(n6me)

actually

ill be there

As soon as your thumb hit the blue “send” button this rush of realization hit you like a sack of bricks. You were agreeing to going to this celebration with people you didn’t know, at a place you weren’t sure of, to see the one person you would give up everything for that hasn’t talked to you in 12 years. Wow. 12 has never seemed like such a big number.

You couldn’t help but let the smile of shock spread across your face. You always did that. You kind of hated it, whenever you were proud or shocked you smiled. You didn’t know why but you could never stop that stupid grin from showing.

After paying for your food, you walked with Paul Anka all the way back to your empty and cold apartment. You pulled some of your things out of you suitcase while sitting on a random spot in the wide living room. You remembered you packed your pillow for the airplane trip and pulled that out while it was on your mind. The air suddenly became heavier to breathe and there was a scream you felt deeper in your throat with the reminder of what was to come.

You immediately stuff your face into the pillow and let out the best scream you could while giggling. “WHAT THE FUCK!” you cackled into the pillow. What have you dared to get yourself into?

rewriting the cigarettes out the window knoxville fic, cus i don’t rlly like it

if i wrote abt how he acts in my fame dr would y’all like it 🤨🤨 be fr w me 🤨

JOHNNY KNOXVILLE MOODBOARD

✩ ˖˚˳⊹

TMNT CHAT FIC #2 💌

y/n: GUYS

y/n: GUSY I GOTTA SHOW U THIS

nerd 🥱👎🏼: hm?

da vinky 😦⁉️: yes?

y/n: WAIT I NEED ALL OF YALL

sk8er boi: where’s raph?

y/n: munchin booty or sum? idk 🤨

da vinky 😦⁉️: do you know how much you and raph get on my nerves with your bickering?

y/n: u know how much i don’t give a shit?

** y/n was muted **

da vinky 😦⁉️: that’s better.

nerd🥱👎🏼: STOPP HAHA

sk8er boi: i’ll shove my foot so far up your ass my toes will make gaps between your teeth.

** y/n was unmuted **

sk8er boi: THEY STOLE MY PHONE

sk8er boi: SRRY BRO

nerd 🥱👎🏼: smh

nerd 🥱👎🏼: but fr, where’s raph??

y/n: RAPHHHHH

y/n: RAPHIEEE-POOOO 🥰🥰

rae-rae: what the fuck do you want.

y/n: guess what i gotttt

rae-rae: a bigger dick 🥺?

y/n: yo bitch seemed to like it last night

da vinky 😦⁉️: omg.

nerd 🥱👎🏼: GAHSHDHDHQHHAHAHAH

sk8er boi: NOOOO LMFAOOOOOOOAHAHHQHWJD

y/n: raphs getting blocked again 😐.

y/n: ANYWAYSSSSS

y/n: I GOT THIS COOL NEW WATERBOTTLE

y/n: since SOMEONE hid my last one 😒

nerd 🥱👎🏼: in our defense, it was funny

sk8er boi: ^^

y/n: ok homo???

da vinky 😦⁉️: y/n.

y/n: ITS TRUE?????

rae-rae: HAHAHAHAH

nerd 🥱👎🏼: 😒

** y/n sent a picture **

y/n: there she is, in all her beauty

da vinky 😦⁉️: is that the jackass logo on the bottle?

y/n: yeah isn’t it cool!

y/n: u know it’s kinda funny cus johnny knoxville actually voices-

y/n: …

y/n: nvm 😁😇!!

rae-rae: huh?

nerd 🥱👎🏼: ???

sk8er boi: i don’t get it

y/n: …

** y/n logged off **

** da vinky 😦⁉️ logged off **

** nerd 🥱👎🏼 logged off **

** sk8er boi logged off **

** rae-rae logged off **

——————————————

da vinky 😦⁉️: Leonardo

rae-rae: Raphael

nerd 🥱👎🏼: Donatello

sk8er boi: Michaelangelo

made three diff versions cus i was bored 👍🏼

these pics of jk aren’t seen as much as they should be

guys im actually writing a g way x reader bc im mentally ill and have entered my emo phase

good luck to y'all

—

update edit: it’s up

CIGARETTES OUT THE WINDOW. — 𝐣. 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐱𝐯𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐞

social media au - crack fic - fluff - SERIES

#vol. I = you should’ve just stayed in bed

editors note: I FORGOT TO INCLUDE THE SOCIAL MEDIA PART SO THATS WHY ITS DIFFERENT IM SORRY 😭💀

✩ ˖˚˳⊹

𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐎𝐖 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐊𝐄𝐘𝐒 onto the side table next to the door as you drag yourself to the couch and plop down, getting comfy. As you snuggle against the comforting couch, you pull out your phone to look through instagram and check on what your friends have been doing.

With your name, you could go anywhere right now. With anyone you wanted. You could get into any club. Hell, you could even buy the club. But you found the comfort of your own apartment in L.A. more comforting than that knowledge.

bzzz. bzzz. bzzz. oh crap. who’s calling now?

you pick up the phone as you begrudgingly get up from you comfy spot to go to the kitchen.

“dude! where are youuu?!!”

it was your cousin, flint, you could practically hear the alcohol in his voice.

“huh?”

“where. are. youuuuuuuu??”

“home, why? i just got here.” you say as you lean against the counter, continuing to scroll through social media.

“no no no, you’re supposed to be here!! remember your lil’ party????!!!”

you immediately go to his instagram profile and see he’s already posted some drunk selfies at the bar.

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notflint_ pathetic but aesthetic 🥴🫶🏼

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That’s right. One of your movies did surprisingly well in the box office and your cousin thought that it called for a celebration. He told you earlier this week that he already had the bar rented out but some assholes rented it too, meaning you have to share it with some strangers. But it’s whatever, in his words.

“rightt. sorry. uhm..”

“no you can’t skip on this.”

“okay fine. i’ll be there in like 30-ish minutes?”

“as long as you’re heerreee!!”

And with that you hung up and re-considered your life decisions as it took you 15 minutes to get up. You grabbed your keys again with a sigh and closed your door.

When you got to the bar you really contemplated leaving as you couldn’t take your hands off the wheel and eyes off the neon signs decorating the windows of the bar. You could always say there was an emergency.. You reached for your phone to message your cousin,

“Hey!”

“OH MY GOD”

Your cousin threw his head back in laughter as you had to restrain yourself from hitting him.

“You scared the shit out of me! What are you doing?”

“Waiting for you!! Cmon, there’s people waiting for you!”

He opened the door to your car and dragged you out. the whole walk across the parking lot was just you trying to get him to release you but you knew your inevitable doom of having to say hi to multiple people and actually socialize.

“Everyone! hereeeessss (name)!”

You wave an awkward hi to the crowd in front of you with a sheepish smile. Almost instantly, everyone cheered. And then again almost instantly everyone went back to what they were doing. Except for a few people who came up to congratulate you.

Your cousin let you go from under his arm to go do his own thing. You didn’t know where to go from there so you just went to the nearest seat and

Someone tapped your shoulder. “Hey!” Oh no..

You turn around just to find out it was your other cousin, Angela. “Oh hey Angela. Nice to see you again.” you greet her with a smile. “Hey (name)!” she responds with the same smile. “So i see Flint has already traded you in for some drinks?” she asks with a smirk. You didn’t even have to respond to get her an answer. A quick shake of the head and a chuckle did it. She was called over by some other friends that were invited and that left you alone once again.

You go back to your phone, opening up instagram and refreshing your page. And on great timing, you saw Angela’s new post.

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ayo.its.angela unforgettable nights <3

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You look up to see Flint coming up to you. “(nameeeee) come meet my new friends!!” he managed to slur out as he tugged on your arm. You looked around to try and find Angela for help, but Flint was already pulling you out of your chair.

Flint dragged you all the way across the bar and around some corners all against your will until you finally managed to wriggle yourself out of his grip.

“Dude i don’t even know these people!”

“Oh no, Actually, you kinda do.!” he said between giggles.

“What?”

“Remember those dicks who rented out the other half of the bar??”

“yeah..?”

“Turns out they’re not such dicks after all!”

This time he motioned for you to follow him and you willingly followed. He brought you to one of the farther corners, where the pool table was. His presence caught the attention of one of the guys there. He turned around with a smile that meant nothing other than trouble on his face.

“Hey dude! Thought we lost you!” he had a surprisingly rasp voice.

Flint turned to you, “(name), let me introduce you to my good friend,”

He put a hand on the guys shoulder, “Steve-O!”

TMNT CHAT FIC 📁

*y/n added 4 people to the group-chat*

rae-rae: what is this

sk8er boi: it’s 3 am ??

y/n: so??

sk8er boi: k.

Da vinky 😦⁉️: are you guys still awakf

nerd 🥱👎🏼: typo

y/n: i’m not gonna take this from someone who don’t know how to spell

nerd 🥱👎🏼: ^^ coming from someone who once tried to spell “dont” as “doint”

y/n: MF.

rae-rae: LMFAO LOSER

sk8er boi: dang y’all noisy 🙁😢

y/n: stfu i heard ur wet dream like two days ago u ain’t slick 🤨

rae-rae: get his ass

Da vinky 😦⁉️: shut up raph, we heard yours too.

y/n: GET HIS ASS BFF

nerd 🥱👎🏼: YUH YUH

sk8er boi: 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

y/n: WAIR ITS 3:33 I GOTTA MAKE A WISH

nerd 🥱👎🏼: it’s 3:33 not 11:11?????? 🤨

y/n: STFU.

rae-rae: i wish that you would stfu

y/n: dies

sk8er boi: don’t die shawty … </3

Da Vinky 😦⁉️: what am i going to do with you guys.

nerd 🥱👎🏼: ig SOMEONES annoyed 🙄😒

Da Vinky 😦⁉️: me.

rae-rae: oh well stay annoyed

Da Vinky 😦⁉️: fuck you

y/n: LMFAO I HEARD FOOTSTEPS

y/n: the girls r fighting 😱😱‼️‼️

y/n: don’t worry raphie bae i’ll film it for u <33

sk8er boi: NO STOP BC I JUST HEARD LEOS DOOR OPEN

nerd 🥱👎🏼: WAIT SHIT

nerd 🥱👎🏼: NAH CUS I GOTTA SEE THIS

—————————

Da Vinky 😦⁉️ = Leo

rae-rae = Raphael

nerd 🥱👎🏼 = Donnie

sk8er boi = Mikey

y/n did in fact, record the fight for raph.

knox with kids ☹️🫶🏼🫶🏼