Complicated And Beautiful

Complicated and Beautiful

Another SKK short drabble i wrote that is inspired by the song "Forth of July" by Sufjan Stevens.

Dazai could feel the grass tickling the back of his neck as the bitter cold of the summer night bite at his exposed skin. Laying in the grass for a moment of peace. The quiet city noises were calming after a day of high adrenaline and violent sights. 

Eyes closed, the darkness was overwhelming. He never had liked the darkness, it left his mind to wander to dangerous places. The nights were the worst, alone in bed he had no way to escape from those dangerous thoughts. Plagued by the most inconceivable thoughts that his tainted mind could conjure. 

That is why he refused to close his eyes, and instead looked up at his partner who sat at his side. The softest breeze rustled the loose strands of ginger hair while his eyes gazed upon the city. Chuuya had hugged his knees to his chest while his breathing was rhythmic, calming Dazai as he matched their breathing patterns. 

“Why us?” 

Chuuya nearly missed it, it was the softest whisper and the wind nearly stole those words.

“What do you mean, ‘Why us?”

“Why do we have to be such monsters?”

“What exactly makes you think you're a monster?”

“I am not Human, Chuuya. I don't feel empathy, or remorse, or any emotion that a normal human should feel-” Dazai sat up, he was now able to look into Chuuya’s eyes. The lights of the city reflected in them perfectly. He couldn't look away. 

“Yes you do” Chuuya leaned over, gently cupping dazai’s cheek with his gloved hand. “You feel just as much as anyone else, you just don't understand your own feelings but they are there” 

“No… They’re not-”

“Yes. They are.” 

Chuuya’s voice was firm. Bringing Dazai closer, he rested Dazai’s head on his chest. “You feel anger whenever you see someone you love hurt, you feel sadness whenever you think you caused something, you feel happiness in moments like this. Your emotions are as beautiful as they are complicated” 

Complicated and Beautiful. 

“Don't think for a moment that your faults make you any less Human” and with that, Chuuya gives a soft kiss upon the top of Dazai's head as Dazai listens to the strong and steady heartbeat of his partner.

Also can be found on Ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54285736