Just Finished This Gift Drawing For My Friend :3

“The Dragon”

I drew this to play with digital watercolor. It turned out much cooler than I anticipated, and ended up with 3 different versions (psst, the second one is my favorite <3). I can now say, I love watercolor. :3

Art by me

Ashe~

I created a commission sheet though Idk if I’ll use it :b  It was fun making it though!

Art by me

:)

Art by me

This is a self portrait of me-- 

Most people see me as this shy person who never sings or dances or does anything that would provoke my anxiety. But the truth is, I didn’t always used to be that way. I used to take classes for swing dance, and I used to sing in chorus. But my anxiety for these things I used to love developed after being bullied in elementary school to the point that I got sick. I began to lipsync and soon left chorus. Not many people have heard my voice since then. But, I just wanna dance.

Art by me

The Great White is here to tell you he thinks you’re pretty amazing too!

“Blues Kitty”

oh, I’ve got the blues~ But it’s not so bad :3 

Art by me

I drew this yesterday owo (6.19.2018)

It’s yet another self portrait as I experiment with my own self expression. People often ask what my gender is, or my preferred pronouns. Well, with that, I’m still not sure. Maybe one day I’ll figure that out.

But for now, I’m just rolling with it. 

-Ashe. <3

Another drawing of fira-- this one is one of my first lineless attempts, and I did it about a year ago. I’m not sure if this is something that anyone else does, so I guess I’ll talk about my... unique coping skill. :) What I like to do when I’m sad is draw a really sad piece-- just go all out and convey my feelings honestly. I’ll see the sadness in the character or piece I drew (in this example I used Fira), and slowly change it, making tiny details and changing it until the piece is brighter. Usually it makes me feel better. c:

Art by me

Lots of vent art today. I drew this after feeling some depression and the affections that come with it. numb.

art by me.

“Noise On The Tele” by me.

I’m feeling particularly anxious today. I’ve been through a lot, and maybe it’s just the PTSD, but I honestly feel afraid now that everything is over. There’s static in my head and I just can’t seem to get past the what ifs. 

Part of me even feels like I don’t deserve it-- as though I’ve done something to condemn myself to a lifetime of misery. I feel lost. Maybe I hate myself, like I’ve been conditioned to do all of my life.

So I guess this is me, in reference to the song Echo by Gumi (Crusher-P). I’ve struggled most of my life with extreme anxiety-- so maybe I’m just... feeling a valid thought. I’m used to being disappointed as soon as I relax, so I tend to not allow myself to feel happiness. It’s like.... the most damning thing I can do is to feel happy because if I do, I swear it’ll never work out. 

But I’ve always been colorblind-- so maybe I just can’t see the vibrancy around me? c:

Ashe.~