Zeph 🐇⚠️ [ Character Sold ]

Perfectly normal train running to greet you cmon give it a hug (FYI, its this guy i drew half a year ago and i still think about it)

Grillt cheese

occasionally I am struck dumb by the sublime beauty of the world in the small moments, you know?

egg

So this is a maybe uncomfy one, since it's about my own pseudosexual preferences.

A lot of my knowledge of my wants and likes comes from experimentation. This is usually how people learn stuff, but I've always felt strange about learning tricks to do with my own body that I'll never teach anyone to do to me, but I suppose it can't hurt to be informed. The part that confuses me is information that seems like it would imply something deeper but it just doesn't. Some examples of this (try at home!)

1 - Leg positioning. Going full spread eagle frog legged while laying down is peak positioning, and feels the most intense.

Therefore, one would extrapolate a similar affinity to catching, due to similarity in position and overall dominance structure. This is... Incorrect. I may have made an expensive purchase or two before realizing it just wasn't me.

2 - Blindfolded, gagged. I like not seeing things and knowing that I cannot for the time being. It feels more private than being alone and makes me bolder. I also find myself enjoying biting down on a wad of cloth, it makes me more vocal.

Extrapolation would state 'BDSM enjoyer, enjoys a loss of control and a sense of not knowing what's next'. Also wrong, I think I just spent so much of my sexual life in a dark room, being quiet, that cloth that blocks my vision and muffles my voice just makes me feel at home. Besides, the light pressure on the eyes lets my Neurodivergency just give up on visuals, which lets me relax.

3 - underwear and t shirts. I have genuine preference for a body clothed rather than not. Feeling at a torso through a shirt or gloved hands, or (a personal favorite) oral sex done through a pair of boxer-briefs.

Extrapolation would state that I'm an exhibitionist and like doing it in secret in public places, but the truth is I just have a texture issue with skin. Wet skin is... Just awful. Cotton just feels more appealing to the touch. It's just a sensory issue. The underwear thing is pure kink tho, cuz the mild ambiguity of a tent or bulge is great, and I've got a filthy weakness for a big sticky mess, gift-wrapped. Same with leaking.

So yeah, uncomfy I know, but it really is odd how harshly a line is drawn between two ideas about how best to be treated. Til the next episode of 'dude describes what makes his nonexistent desire for sex flare up'

some of my favorite woven tapestries, by Cecilia Blomberg:

Point Defiance Steps

Mates

Rising Tides

Vashon Steps

Sometimes I have to question my brain's idea of who I should be. Like, these cotton gloves feel more like 'me' than my hands do. Girl, is this some kinda a self image issue? What do you want from me? Get better hands?

In short, I'm wearing gloves for now. When it starts getting warm again, I'll hope this isn't still an issue. ¯\_(= ͢ =)_/¯

IDK WHAT TO NAME HIM BUT HES A SILLY DRAGONBORN BARBARIAN FELLOW FOR AN UPCOMING DND GAME!!! 🖤🖤

why am i simping for a dragon that lives only in my head

I've spent a lot of my life depressed for reasons unrelated to my identity. Life has a unique talent for beating the unprepared harder, and while my lot was not the hardest, I was certainly ill fit to bear its weight. When I eventually dragged myself, cold and wet, from its grasp I found myself wishing to be numb again and wishing I knew what it was like to truly care about something.

In that vein, I've always had a fascination with love and romantic affection. A combination of being denied tenderness for the half of my life I could still remember and a genuine desire to study what I didn't understand left me with an insatiable desire to consume tender, romantic media.

The idea of the thing appealed to me like the willpower of a warrior training, or the righteous anger of a hero who has lost their home. Something that gave you just a taste of what they were feeling just by watching them feel it, but whose scale you probably could not emulate. Those emotions are for characters in stories, as fictional as the magics or demons they face.

Did you know that there are special nerves in your skin that are designed for social touch? They have a direct line to the serotonin response and take 3 real world seconds to get there. This is the nerve that causes/cures touch starvation, the reason why characters can feel the lips of a lovers kiss for seconds afterward as their lips tingle electrically, the reason why a character can be wrapped in a hug in shock for a few seconds before they break down crying in grief.

All of these I thought were artistic fiction. Like someone with aphantasia learning that others really do visualize things, or me realizing other people store memories in video. It also brought up a question I posed to my therapist: "why, if I've been without social contact for most of my life, am I not touch starved?'

She answered in two options:

1 - everyone is different, and some people have more or less of certain needs.

2 - how do you know you're not?

Just finished this awesome group piece of a D&D party for an amazing client :) with a cameo from our dear lich friend Acererak

BRO THIS IS NOT BASKETBALL