Ariibees - Whoops Here We Go

Been thinking about this scene from @aspidateasteism‘s TIS.

AItober Day 31: Goodbye, Gordon.

"Must this really be the end of our time together? Perhaps you could take the science team's data, transfer us somewhere else, hmm?"

What if Gordon transferred the Science Team's data, per Coomer's last request...onto his desktop?

Introducing the Science Team Ukagakas, downloadable characters that sit on your desktop -- they'll talk to you and to each other, hang out and perform functions for you, and you can interact with them (such as by giving them gifts, asking them questions, and so on.)

They're still in very early development, but there's some more info below the read more!

Before anything else, I would like to state that they are not currently available for download, but ideally will be downloadable once I've gotten them to a basic working level. I'd also like to try and set up automatic updates, but I can't guarantee that that last bit will work. Their text bubbles are also temporary, though I don't look forward to trying to design new ones, haha. I'm new to programming Ukagakas, hence why I'm using Zarla’s template/tutorial (I can’t link or Tumblr will eat this post, but Googling the ashido ukagaka tutorial should get you there), and while I'm getting the hang of the actual coding part, the art takes some time and I'm not the best at writing dialogue for these characters, so bear with me. :)

Ukagakas can have up to two characters together at once, so the Science Team comes in sets -- Bubby and Coomer are always together, Tommy is a single character (to make it easier to potentially add Sunkist or G-Man later), and Benrey is also alone. They function fine just within their "sets", so, for example, you can have only Benrey open at a time and he'll function just fine and have his own content, but he'll also interact with the others if they're open.

You can also customize things such as the pronouns you go by and what name you take, though keep in mind you can't steal their names, and if you continue to go by some variation of "Gordon," they'll have some special dialogue/nicknames. I'll also note that Benrey will continue to say things like "that's pretty gay, bro," no matter what pronouns you use.

Ukagakas also have a feature where you can track mouse movement/clicks on the character themselves, leading to some fun interactions with being able to pretend you're petting/punching/whatever them; as you can see in the shots above, I'm definitely making use of that.

Anywho, long-winded speech over! I'll make a proper introductory post once they're available for download. If you have any ideas for character interactions/dialogue/questions to ask/things to gift and so on, feel free to share! You can even have ghosts remember if you've done something before, and how many times, allowing for me to have relationships build/change over time. Lots of potential, if only I can actually get it all coded in! So- yup, feel free to send a PM/ask with any suggestions, or additional questions/comments.

Thanks for reading! :)

Drakkenheim is not going well, suffice to say, and we are currently getting our asses kicked at the Cathedral.

I cannot believe I have to be the one to produce the fan content I want to see in this world

Amen

Mais c'est aussi en français !

I enjoyed doing Birth to My Creation and went ahead and translated Amen into French as well! I was more busy/distracted while doing this one and didn’t put as much effort into matching the syllables, mostly just translating something that vaguely worked (so it’s harder to sing along to), so don’t take this as a legitimate French version haha. But I had fun with it. Proper comments on the lyric/word choices at the bottom, and French lyrics and an English translation of those just under the cut!

French Lyrics:

PROFESSOR #1: Frankenstein, nous trouvons vos idées choquantes, dangereuses, et un affront à tout ce qui est moral et décent

PROFESSOR #2: C'est de l'insanité ! Seul un fou ou un hérétique oserait jouer avec la vie et la mort comme vous le proposez

PROFESSOR #3: Votre obsession avec les charlatans discrédités et leur science douteuse est une pure folie

PROFESSOR #4: L'université ne tolérera pas vos expériences bizarres et non autorisées

PROFESSOR #5: C'est de la folie totale !

ALL: C'est... SOTTISE... FOLIE... INSANITÉ !

PROFESSOR #1: Les morts n'ont rien à vous dire

CONDEMNED MAN: Je maudis le jour où je suis né Dans un monde noir de haine

Cette vie, je la quitterai En sachant que le ciel offrira La paix et non la peine

Je nierai pas que je suis un homme Et en tant que tel, j'ai du pécher Un Adam, j'ai mangé la pomme Mais mon sang innocent, vos mains, il va tacher

EXECUTIONER: Pour vos crimes contre le peuple-

MOB: Vous ne méritez que de mourir

EXECUTIONER: Le magistrat d'Ingolstadt vous condamne-

MOB: Votre âme, on peut pas la convertir

EXECUTIONER: Être pendu jusqu'à ce que mort s'ensuive-

MOB: Le diable va vous punir

EXECUTIONER: Le seizième jour de septembre, dix-sept cent et…

MOB: Vous ne méritez que de mourir

CONDEMNED MAN: Qui est mal ? Qui est bon ?

MOB: Votre âme, on peut pas la convertir

CONDEMNED MAN: Et qui répond ?

MOB: Le diable va vous punir

CONDEMNED MAN: Qui ose jouer à Dieu ?

MOB: Un homme n'oserait- Un homme n'oserait- Un homme n'oserait pas jouer à Dieu…

VICTOR: Une autre âme... une autre lumière... Une autre flamme s'est éteinte Un moment ici, après, parti Et un cœur bat, puis il finit La mort est si succincte

Un ancien mystère : qu'est-ce que la vie ? Qu'est-ce qu'il faut croire ? Une question de philosophie ? Ou peut-être de biologie ? Je suis le seul à savoir...

J'ai trouvé ce qui était impossible Cela va laisser tout le monde pantois Créer une vie, c'est faire l'impossible Et tout le monde... m'entendra !

MOB: Nous suivrons Dieu !

VICTOR: J'entends sa voix... le gantelet…

CONDEMNED MAN: Qui est mal ? Qui est bon ?

VICTOR: ...Crie les demandes du sort

MOB: Il mourra !

CONDEMNED MAN: Et qui répond ?

VICTOR: Le destin de l'humanité…

MOB: Finissez-en maintenant !

VICTOR: Cet esprit répond...

CONDEMNED MAN: Qui ose jouer à Dieu ?

VICTOR: ...Avec ces mains

MOB: Le jugement est ici!

CONDEMNED MAN: Oh mon créateur, écoute-moi Libérez-moi de ce cauchemar

Et si aucun homme ne me pleure Je suis à vous Amen

EXECUTIONER: Qui s'occupera le corps ? Je répète: qui réclame ce corps ?

VICTOR: Moi !

English Translation:

PROFESSOR #1: Frankenstein, we find your ideas shocking, dangerous, and an affront to all that is moral and decent

PROFESSOR #2: This is insanity! Only a madman or a heretic would dare to play with life and death as you propose

PROFESSOR #3: Your obsession with discredited charlatans and their dubious science is sheer madness

PROFESSOR #4: The university will not tolerate your bizarre and unauthorized experiments

PROFESSOR #5: It’s total madness!

ALL: It is foolishness...madness...insanity!

PROFESSOR #1: The dead have nothing to say to you

CONDEMNED MAN: I curse the day that I was born In a dark world of hatred

This life, I will leave it Knowing that heaven will offer Peace and not sorrow

I will not deny that I am a man And as such, I have sinned... An Adam, I ate the apple But my innocent blood, your hands it will stain

EXECUTIONER: For your crimes against the people-

MOB: You only deserve to die

EXECUTIONER: The magistrate of Ingolstadt condemns you-

MOB: Your soul, we can't save it

EXECUTIONER: To be hanged by the neck until dead-

MOB: The devil will punish you

EXECUTIONER: The sixteenth day of September, seventeen hundred and...

MOB: You only deserve to die

CONDEMNED MAN: Who is bad? Who is good?

MOB: Your soul, we can’t save it

CONDEMNED MAN: And who answers?

MOB: The devil will punish you

CONDEMNED MAN: Who dares to play God?

MOB: A man wouldn’t dare- A man wouldn’t dare- A man wouldn’t dare to play God…

VICTOR: Another soul... another light... Another flame has been extinguished One moment here, the next, gone And a heart beats, then it finishes Death is so succinct

An ancient mystery: what is life? What is to be believed? A question of philosophy? Or perhaps of biology? I am the only one to know...

I found that which was impossible It’s going to leave everybody stunned To create a life is to do the impossible And everyone will hear me!

MOB: We will follow God!

VICTOR: I hear its voice... the gauntlet...

CONDEMNED MAN: Who is bad? Who is good?

VICTOR: ...Crying the demands of fate

MOB: He will die!

CONDEMNED MAN: And who answers?

VICTOR: The fate of humanity...

MOB: Finish it now!

VICTOR: This mind answers...

CONDEMNED MAN: Who dares to play god?

VICTOR: ...With these hands

MOB: Judgement is here!

CONDEMNED MAN: Oh my creator, listen to me Free me from this nightmare

And if no man mourns me I am yours Amen

EXECUTIONER: Who will take care of this body? I repeat: who claims this body?

VICTOR: Me!

Comments:

I made a bunch of unintentionally funny translation errors while writing this (and there are probably some more I haven’t caught) including writing “to fish” instead of “to sin” and referring to human remains as trash instead of a corpse.

When writing for some reason I thought that the “who dares to act as god” lines were supposed to rhyme with “what’s wrong, what’s right, does man decide” and ended up with something along the lines of “Qui est le Dieu des moribonds?” (who is the god of the dying?) to refer to Victor. Fun!

I did at least get to slip in more “Victor is god” fun through “Who answers?” “This mind answers.” Also, another biblical reference with Adam and the apple; that wasn’t originally intended, but it fit the rhyme I had going so I kept it. I also specifically chose “playing god” to sort of emphasize that Victor is never really a god, he only imagines himself to be; he’s instead still young and believes himself greater than he is.

I’m also aware that the formality/flowery-language level jumps all over the place here. At times I dropped “ne,” other times I kept it, the tense changes depending on the rhyme I needed, and so on. So, once again: don’t take this as a genuine translation lmao

so what youre gonna wanna do is crush the garlic and ginger instead of just slicing it ok, it releases more of those good flavors. yoshi is going to eat me and turn me into an egg now, i love you. remember everything i taught you

Everyone please look at this snapping turtle, walking to the pond outside my house, still groggy from a 6-month nap.

I love using my incisors to cut and tear & my molars to crush and grind

There’s a serial killer in your town. Unfortunately for them you are a necromancer and you have fun driving that maniac insane.

Wow!

Wow, wow, that was so much fun. I have a lot of thoughts about it, so I’m just going to toss them all below. Spoilers, of course.

The game was an absolute mind-fuck, having to deal with three portals and two timelines. Maybe if everything “clicks” well for you it wouldn’t be so hard, but I found it really difficult -- probably up there with Portal Stories: Mel’s advanced mode.

The human storage from Portal 2′s co-op! It’s neat to see it again!

The portal community just fucking hates elevators apparently. Everyone’s desperate to use pneumatic vents and dematerializers and everything else in place of just a normal elevator.

!!!!!!!!The Announcer!!!!!!! Portal Reloaded has no companion core character like Wheatley or Virgil -- it’s you and the announcer the whole time. And I’m okay with that! Harry does an awesome voice (as expected; I’m so glad he got to voice it), and the way they portrayed the Announcer is really interesting in this game. I would tentatively say they gave him some emotion and character? He still fits into the original role of “fully robotic emergency system AI” well, but also seems to really care about (or at least be passionate about succeeding in) doing his job and saving the facility, without ever forming an attachment to the main character and having absolutely no reservations about literally forcing them to do whatever necessary while still providing encouragement. A super neat dynamic and it makes me happy to see the Announcer got so much love in the game!

This game feels like the spiritual remake of Aperture Tag, in a way. Being woken up from stasis to train for a specific task with an AI leading you through it, getting a special portal-like gun that turns on and off as you walk through colored fields, etc. Even the die or go free ending is sort of similar, at least in basic concept.

The humor in Portal Reloaded was excellent. It really did feel like the classic dark humor, especially like that early on in Portal 2.

I like where the plot went with this one! It’s not nearly so story driven, so even if the ending is kind of sudden and technically the whole game is overall inconsequential, I prefer that to the developer biting off more than they can chew and trying to actually directly work it into the pre-Portal 2 storyline. Portal Stories: Mel was able to work its status as a midquel into the story nicely, but I’m glad that this one just did its own thing and left it there since the driving force of the story was “stop Chell from defeating GLaDOS in Portal,” which obviously can’t happen. Overall, the plot was a very nice way to tie together the 25 test chambers without trying to turn it into some big story-driven thing or give it some big bad boss. It’s semi-short, and very enjoyable!

I also went wild at the headcrabs. I know that for the most part Portal and Half Life keep themselves separate, so while that was very overt, it was unexpected and enjoyable.

TL;DR: very good game. Loved seeing more announcer content; I feel like he’s an underutilized character. Not some big story thing, it was just a cute little thing tying together 25 really hard test chambers.

I had fun!

Oh fuck I forgot portal reloaded is out, I’ll be back in five hours after playing the entire thing in one sitting