A Dumb Guide To The Saw Franchise

A dumb guide to the Saw franchise

Saw (2004): bathroom trap with a lot of flashbacks and not that much blood. it is good.

Saw II: the house trap with the needle pit and the stupid razor blade arm trap. you don’t remember that you saw this one but you did,

Saw III: GROSS MOVIE!!!!!!!! also lesbianism and brain surgery

Saw IV: boring bad movie. donnie wahlberg’s head gets smashed to bits. a rapist gets his limbs ripped off. Hoffman is there.

Saw V: the fatal five!! also Hoffman is evil. and he did all the traps, even when you didn’t know he did. he’s just that good (?)

Saw VI: WILLIAM EASTON CALL ME. Hoffman kills all of the police in the world.

Saw 3D: it’s in 3D. racists die. Cary Elwes comes back. He still cannot act. (only I am allowed to say this)

Jigsaw: somehow the worse than 3D. I like Ryan. Billy have very long legs. Some new apprentice that’s never ever existed before. I’m going to kill Josh Stolberg with my hands.

Spiral: hasn’t come out yet because Covid and that’s honestly the biggst miracle of 2020. anyway it’s probably copaganda and I’m dreading it.

Saw 0.5: BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Just wanted to put a plug in for one of my new fav websites, Can I Play That?, which focuses on accessbility reviews of video games by disabled gamers. As someone with a dexterity/mobility disability in my hands (carpal tunnel) I NEED games that allow easy and convenient ways to push buttons to do stuff and let me rebind keys at will. I’m now checking Can I Play That? before buying games since their reviews are ++. They include accessibility reviews for deaf/hard of hearing and cognitive disabiliies too.

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