The First Of Many I Love Yous

but so elphaba 

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*peeks through almost closed door*

May I offer you a Clexa fic in these trying times? Both for fandom and world?

If you’d like to read a fantasy-ish Clexa Au about Clarke being annoyed and Lexa being annoying, here’s my take.

Thank you. And please, be kind to anyone in this fandom, especially after... yeah.

Cheers :)

There are Secrets of the Heart to Wonderful for Words

Another soulmate AU—in which the first words your person ever says to you are written on your wrist. Only Lena doesn't have any markings, and Kara has far too many.

Word Count: 1898

Read on AO3

Year: 2004

Lena:

Words. Lena Luthor obsesses over other peoples’ words.

From the time a person is born, the small, black letters written on their wrist indicate the first words they’ll hear their soulmate speak.

Except Lena doesn’t have any letters. She has a painfully blank canvas on her wrist where there should have been a saying. A word. Something.

Anything.

It’s the only thing Lillian likes about her. Or likes to point out about her, amongst not being a real Luthor or not being as smart as Lex. Not having a soulmate is a frequent point of conversation between them.

“I don’t need a soulmate,” Lena says every time it’s brought up. And she doesn’t. Her greatest love is learning. Why would she ever need anybody else? Why would she ever want anybody else?

Lena is pretty sure she doesn’t have a soulmate because it would be unethical to subject them to the Luthor family. They all have them, though. She’s glad she doesn’t have one. Really. She is.

“Who would love you?” Lillian sneers every time.

Harsh words that prove to be correct.

Lionel dies. Lex is in prison, and Lillian becomes crueler with every year that passes.

Lena’s blank wrists are another checkmate in Lillian’s books; as if their very lives are an entertaining game. Lena is good at chess — likes it — but she doesn’t always want to play. She is, however, resigned to a life of being toyed with. Lena knows it’s all she will ever have, and as horrible as it may be, Lillian’s sharp criticisms and condescension is better than nothing, isn’t it?

Kara:

Words. Kara obsesses over her words.

Most people have some form of a greeting written on their wrist.

Eliza has ‘Doctor Danvers? Hi, it’s great to meet you.’

Alex has ‘I’m looking for my brother, James.’

Everyone has a few short words written at the bottom of their arm, but not Kara.

Kara can’t believe the spiel of words that takes up her entire arm.

Sure, some people have more words than others, but Kara has never, ever seen anybody who has an entire half-sleeve, starting from the crease of her elbow and ending at her wrist. Some of the words aren’t even in the dictionary, though Eliza assures Kara that her soulmate must be a scientist, based on the tattoo.

Kara’s soulmate also believes, in the future when they meet, that Kara is a new intern.

Kara isn’t sure how she feels about that. The thought of someone assuming she isn’t as smart as the writing on her arm kind of insults her, even if she doesn’t know all the words yet.

“At least we’ll know who they are right away! You could have something generic, like ‘excuse me.’ Kenny has ‘sorry’ on his wrist.” Alex does her best to make Kara feel better about having the largest soul mark in the known universe.

Kara knows she’s a rambler. She’ll talk with her hands and go on and on and on about anything and everything with very little control over it, and she worries that her soulmate’s tattoo might be even longer than her own. She’ll just have to wait and see.

Sometimes she worries over her soulmate’s mark, though.

Would they even have one?

Present Day

Kara’s late. Gosh, she’s so late. She was supposed to be at the library an hour ago but her alarm didn’t go off and now she’s going to get fired. Or probably reprimanded. Or maybe Nia covered for her, but still! Kara is late to the only good job she’s ever had, where people don’t mind how quiet she is.

She can’t lose this job, not on her first week.

She rushes toward the library, or where she thought the library was. Moving to National City to be closer to Alex was a good idea, but on days like today when the concrete and glass of the buildings bleed together like some sort of shifting labyrinth, Kara doesn’t enjoy it so much.

Especially not with all the car horns and people chattering on their cellphones. Cigarette smoke burns her nose as someone longboards by her, and the smoke mixes with the food of the vendors lined along the street.

With the bright sun overhead, it’s too much. Too much noise, too many smells and sights and feelings, and Kara needs to escape it.

She pulls open the glass doors of the nearest building —a crisp white daroca stone one that towers above the rest—and she hopes nobody minds her borrowing the space to calm down.

The heat of the sun melts away to cool air that clings to her sweaty brow, the din of the city melting behind the door as it swings closed behind her.

Kara takes a few deep breaths before looking up, her eyes widening at the blue marble floors and the white fountain that’s sunken into the floor in the middle of the room.

Small ficus trees line the walls in grey, ceramic pots.

Its austerity is calming.

The receptionist at a monochrome silver desk raises an eyebrow and Kara waves, trying to convey she’s not a total weirdo.

She glances around the room and sighs in relief when she spots a shiny, silver plaque engraved in black letters and an arrow indicating the directions to the bathroom.

Kara adjusts her glasses before following the sign down a series of hallways — all a mirror image of the last with every turn she takes, but eventually, she pushes through the black door with a bathroom sign on it, locking it behind her.

She takes a few minutes to practice breathing before she goes to the white sink. It’s like a hotel bathroom almost, with another ficus in the corner, the white porcelain and silver chrome shining like it’s never been used.

Kara smiles as she washes her hands. The soap doesn’t smell like anything.

She pushes her glasses to the top of her head while she splashes cool water on her face, eager to get rid of the sweaty residue.

After drying off with a thick paper towel, Kara glances at her watch with a sigh.

She is late, but she can explain how she got lost, and try to avoid the mistake in the future. These things happen.

She nods at herself in the mirror before leaving the room, eager to try to find her way through the city again.

Only the inside of the building is just as maze-like, and Kara goes around in circles.

What’s weird is that even though the building is lovely —sleek and clean, nobody is in it.

Kara is in a maze of white walls and marble floors with never-ending ficus trees breaking up her twists and turns.

She rolls her eyes as she ducks into one of the black doors, intent to ask someone to help her escape.

She freezes and her eyes bulge as she enters a lab.

Like, a real, mad-scientist-esque lab filled with chrome robots that shine, immobile, on the surfaces of desks, varying glass vials on the surface of another.

Kara has half a mind to leave the room and continue her lost torment, but a woman in a white lab coat and a maroon three-piece suit underneath smiles at her as she sits up from behind a desk, dropping a screwdriver onto it.

Kara means to wave or introduce herself somehow. Really, she does, but the woman is so pretty, and as soon as her green eyes land on Kara, Kara’s mind goes blank.

“Oh, you must be my new intern. You’re early, though I suppose that’s not a bad thing since we have a lot of work to do. I just started testing the biological reactions of these DNA samples after I add in nanogenes. We’re only at a success rate of 73%, so we have a ways to go. Feel free to observe while I explain-”

She continues, and Kara ambles forward, helpless to the pull. She ambles between the few rows of lab tables until she’s close enough to read the name off of the woman’s lab coat.

Lena K. Luthor

Kara beams down at it as her heart thunders in her chest.

It feels exactly like she thought it would. Her palms are sweaty, and this woman rambles on and on about nanogenes and technology that could change the future.

Her green eyes sparkle with passion as she talks about her work, and already, Kara wants to get lost in them.

Kara’s breath comes in small pants, catching in her throat each time as she smiles at this beautiful, marvelous woman.

A woman whose words Kara has read over and over, words Kara doodled on top of when she was bored in class, read when she was sad, thought about to remind herself that there was someone, somewhere, waiting to be loved by her.

Lena’s jaw is sharp, like her mind, Kara’s sure. Her hair is pulled back into a high ponytail as she gestures to the microscope in front of her. Kara wants to reach out and touch her, hold her, explain who she is and how she got there.

Lena freezes when she turns back toward Kara, surprised by the proximity, and she raises her eyebrows at the closeness before they pinch in concern.

Tears have gathered in Kara’s eyes and she wipes them away with a noiseless chuckle. She bites her lip, takes a deep breath, and rests her leather bag on the lab table before she unbuttons the sleeve of her navy blue oxford.

Words upon words are revealed and Lena glances at them in confusion before her eyes grow wide.

Lena looks at Kara’s forearm, her own words —to the exact punctuation—staring back at her.

She reaches up to touch them, goosebumps rising across Kara’s skin as cool fingers caress her tattooed flesh.

The sleeves of Lena's coat and suit rise as she cradles Kara's arm like a precious thing, rubbing her thumbs across the paragraphs with reverent disbelief.

This is when Kara’s heart breaks because where there should be something —some grand declaration of all the fierce love Kara carries in her heart—all Lena has is pale, blank skin.

Lena bites her lips as she inhales a shaky breath through her nose. Her eyes, lovely sea-green eyes, are red around the edges and her lashes wet as she lets a tear trickle down her face.

She didn’t think she had a soulmate, Kara realizes.

And maybe Kara can’t talk—hasn’t spoken a word in her life—but she has never needed words to get her point across.

Kara points to her mouth with her tattooed arm, shaking her head when Lena looks up.

Lena’s shoulders ease in understanding, and she takes a breath so full it’s like the first time she’s ever breathed.

Kara bites her lips as she opens her arms, slow and tender as she brushes her hands across the white lab coat around Lena’s shoulders, pulling her into a hug that starts gentle but gets firmer the more Lena clings to her.

Kara rests her head on the side of Lena’s, sure that the steady pressure of her hug is saying everything for her.

It says, “I am here now.

I’m sorry it took this long.

I care about you so much.

And I am not going anywhere.”

Korrasami Week Day Six

Okay, I don’t quite like how this turned out. But, since I lost the momentum of Korrasami Week, I forced myself to write this one and post it. So, here it is. Enjoy :)

-------------

Prompt: future

Dear Asami,

I am flattered you wrote to me about this. What it feels like, loving an Avatar. How to be true to someone who will always put the world first. I shall do my best in aiding you.

The first thing I wish to write is this: you are entitled to ignore everything I say in this letter.

Life taught me that all lovers are inventors when they build a relationship, made of words, sighs, memories, touches. Every person is different, inherently so. It cannot be true that my love for Aang will be the same as yours for Korra.

Despite this, I can understand your concerns.  I promise I will do my best to meet them.

I believe it was fundamental to me to learn to love both Aang and the Avatar as the same person. This probably sounds confusing, so let me try to explain.

When I met Aang for the first time, frozen in that iceberg, I saw the Avatar. Not Aang, but the Avatar. It was a difficult truth to admit, one I recognized only many years later. The girl in me was fascinated by him, possibly starstruck. I was thrilled of being the one who had found him after a hundred years. I was sure he would save us all from the Fire Nation.

But he was just a child.

I was a child.

I had to grow a lot before even entertaining the idea of a relationship with him. We both had to. That first journey to master the different bendings had been a starting point for us, for our relationship. A start.

After those first days, the Avatar became Aang. And I started seeing Aang first, then the Avatar.

You might believe that to be the correct way to love an Avatar. It is not. Seeing first Aang - or Korra - and then the Avatar means denying an important aspect of their being, of their essence. You might see this in the simplest things, like spending an anniversary together or going on vacation. Other times it's rather unpleasant, like being separated for months and years to build a new city while you have to raise your children alone.

Asami, Korra is everybody's person. She has to be, because the world will always need her. They keep asking and digging for resources and answers and demands. I saw this with my Aang and now I see the same reflected in Korra.

But, my dear Asami, if Korra is everybody's person, who's gonna be hers? Everybody needs a person.

And, if I still know Korra, she'll argue about her being enough for herself. Don't listen to her and instead, make her listen to you. She's strong and stubborn, our girl, and even though she grew so much in these past few years, she will need someone to stand beside her.

You have to be Korra's rock, so she can be everybody else's rock.

There's a reason why both Aang and Korra surrounded themselves with loyal friends, team Avatar.

But I am sure you are already aware of all of that, or else you wouldn't have kept writing all those letters even without reply. Or offered to come and visit the South Pole during Korra's recovery.

Or stand back when she asked to do all of this alone.

Don't be surprised if I know of these events, Asami. This old waterbender still has a couple of tricks up her sleeves to keep track of her family.

Now, I won't lie and say things were always perfect between me and Aang.

We had our fair share of arguments, believe me. Communication is key, as it should be in all relationships, but I believe this is mostly true in our special case. I still cherish the memories of me and Aang talking at the end of the day, about everything and nothing, surrounded only by stars.

That is the reason, Asami, why I believe you are deeply wrong when you write that you feel you have to withheld your problems and thoughts from Korra for fear of burdening her. I know it might sound tempting to bottle everything up, shielding behind the weak reasoning of 'She is the Avatar. She has so many other things going on with the rest of the world, how could my issues compare to hers? Be of any importance?'

You're not the first to think along those lines.

Only because you have to be Korra's rock so she can be the best Avatar, it doesn't mean your feelings matter less. Despite having many people asking for her attention, you'll be the first one Korra wishes to spend time with, the one she confides into. Equally, you have to trust her with your feelings.

This is what means loving Korra as both Korra and the Avatar.

By not confiding your thoughts, you are creating a disequilibrium in your relationship. Simply because you aren't treating her as equal to you. Even though your intentions might come from good, Korra is your partner and you have to trust she'll be with you for every step of your journey. She can and wants to deal with your problems, as petty as they seem.

I learned this after a particular harsh fight with Aang, not too long after Kya's birth.

I was tired of feeling alone, especially in Aang's disappointment. He wished to have a child who could airbend like him, but Kya revealed to be a strong bright eyed waterbender from a young age. And while Aang didn't love her or Bumi any less, his desire for a new Air Nation was almost too strong, sometimes. There was a part of him that couldn't help but feel disappointed. Not because of me, nor for the children, but mostly himself.

It all comes down to legacy, in a sense.

Aang wished to rebuild the Air Nation. Korra lost her connection to all her previous lives and the next Avatar will have only her to rely to.

They are two different events, but connected nonetheless. Being the only bearer of a whole world feels overwhelming.

Both cannot be obtained by living alone, though. I believe I have some merits in restoring the Air Nation: I helped Aang with all of myself, after all. (Do not think of me as vain when I write this, Asami, because I have reached an age where I can say everything I believe, without caring about social norms. I may have picked up a couple of things from Toph in all these years.)

Similarly, Korra will need help. Sadly, my old bones do not quite agree with modern technology, but I am sure a brilliant mind loke yours can find a way to maintain Korra's memories and feelings alive, beside the spiritual plane. After all, and I know Korra herself is worried, nobody really knows what happened with Raava and if Korra will be able to talk with her future lives.

You are the future, Asami. Alongside with Korra and the rest of your friends.

And I am sure the world couldn't be in better hands.

With love, and say hi to Korra for me,

Katara

please write the zoo au 🙇

if you’re looking for something to blame for this, here’s the culprit

“…cockroaches.”

“Yes.”

Kara squints. “Like, the creepy-crawly little bugs we freeze in the thousands to feed to the animals.”

“The very same.”

“And you want me to… name them?”

Cat sighs so heavily that had she been standing, she probably would have fallen over. “You’re not naming them, Keira. Do try to keep up. Patrons can pay $5 to name a cockroach after their ex. You will then feed these named cockroaches to the animals. For $25 people can also name a frozen rat.”

Kara gapes. “So I’m feeding animals named after people to other animals?”

“If you think that displaying the comprehension skills of an elementary schooler is going to impress me, you’re sorely mistaken,” Cat says dryly, her tone bored as she shuffles the stacks of papers on her desk. “Thank you for reminding me that I didn’t hire you for your intellect.”

Kara ignores the dig. She’s had plenty of practice over the past five years. “But doesn’t that seem a little…. mean?”

“You’re worried about the feelings of a frozen dead cockroach?”

Kara huffs, digging her hands deep into the pockets of her green NC Zoo fleece. “Not the bugs. The people the bugs are named after. The people watching themselves in bug form be fed to a lizard, or whatever.”

Cat hums, tapping her pen thoughtfully against her chin. “I suppose we’d also better appeal to the bleeding-heart animal lovers out there if we want to maximise sales. We’ll introduce a vegetarian option as well: $5 to name a cabbage after your ex to be fed to our herbivores. I’ll let Olsen know.”

“But—”

“Keira.” Cat’s voice clicks into its most chilling no-bullshit tone and Kara winces, fighting the urge to cower at her boss’ feet. “This programme will almost singlehandedly fund the renovation of our giant panda enclosure. Do you not want the pandas to have water to swim in and bamboo to nibble on, Ms Danvers? Do you want them to go extinct?”

Kara blanches. Everybody knows the pandas are her favourites. “No, of course not, I just—”

“Good,” Cat snaps. “National City Zoo’s Cry Me a Cockroach event will be going ahead from tomorrow, and I will expect your full support every step of the way.”

Kara sighs. “Sure thing, boss.”

“Oh, and Keira,” Cat calls as Kara’s halfway out of her office. “You’re going to be the public face of this event. All the naming and feeding will be broadcast across our social media livestreams. Winslow in tech support will help you get everything set up.”

“Me?” Kara gapes. “Why?”

Cat quirks an appraising eyebrow, making no secret of the fact that she’s giving Kara a discerning once-over. “You fit the image that will draw in viewers,” she drawls, eyeing the planes of Kara’s shoulders, the lines of her thighs beneath her standard-issue cargo pants. “Can’t say that I see it myself, but I suppose you do have a certain… appeal.”

Kara feels her cheeks turn an immediate shade of scarlet, shuffling her feet awkwardly. “I, um. Thanks?”

“That wasn’t a compliment,” Cat says smoothly, eyes never leaving her laptop screen. “Go away now. And do a good job on this, Keira. We really need the extra income.”

“Yes, boss.”

“Oh, and one more thing,” Cat calls. “Wear something form-fitting tomorrow. This is basically a PR stunt— it won’t hurt to give the people a show.”

-

“So, we’ve got all the purchase summaries right here on this tablet,” Winn says, fiddling with the inordinate number of screens and cameras currently pointing right at Kara. “So we’ll get a shot of the rat or roach, then you read out the name of the person who made the purchase, and the name they’ve given to their animal. Maybe the background story, if they’ve submitted one. Then feed the poor bastard to the— the—”

“The snake?” Kara supplies cheerily, stroking the head of the Jamaican yellow boa constrictor currently draped over her shoulders.

Winn shudders, fighting down his gag reflex. “I will never understand how you can touch that thing.”

“You work at a zoo, Winn,” she chides. “How can you be scared of snakes? Noodle is a creature that needs our love and care, just like all the others.”

“Noodle?” Winn squeaks. “You named a snake that probably weighs more than you do Noodle?”

“Only unofficially,” Kara sighs. “Cat says I have to stop getting so attached to the animals.”

Winn gapes at her. “You know what, we don’t have time to unpack that right now.” He adjusts the lighting outside the enclosure, turning Kara this way and that until he finds the perfect angle. “So the main thing is to keep things fun and engaging. We’re aiming for numbers here. If this doesn’t go viral, Cat will have my nuts on a silver platter.”

“You’re so crass,” Kara scolds. “He’s so crass,” she murmurs to the snake wrapped around her abdomen, stroking its head again. Noodle flicks his tongue out in response, tasting the air. Kara takes it as an agreement.

“Oh, and if part of the summary is shaded red, it’s because the purchaser asked for the information to remain confidential,” Winn continues, adjusting camera angles and making sure the Facebook, Instagram and Twitter livestreams are up and running. “So don’t read that bit.”

“Red means no,” Kara salutes. “Gotcha.”

“Alright, ready?” Winn asks, and Kara sucks in a deep breath. At least Noodle doesn’t care that her palms are sweating. “We’re live.”

“Hey, hi. I’m Kara Danvers, head zookeeper here at National City Zoo,” Kara starts, eyes flicking rapidly between the three cameras trained on her. Where is she supposed to look? If she looks at one feed for too long, will the others feel neglected? Will viewers tune out? Does she have to keep glancing between the three of them like she’s watching a three-way tennis match? What if—

Behind the camera, Winn clears his throat. “Chill,” he mouths silently from the far side of the intimidating assortment of screens, and Kara forces herself to heed his advice.

“Welcome to Cry Me a Cockroach,” she continues, voice steadying as she manages to get her rapid breathing under control. “Thank you so much to everyone who’s purchased a rat or a cockroach so far— all your donations will go toward the renovation of our giant panda enclosure! For anyone who hasn’t gotten around to their vermin vengeance yet, the event will be running through the end of the month.”

She reaches up to adjust Noodle so he’s slung more comfortably over her shoulders and then grabs the first container of frozen rats. “Alright, well. This guy’s hungry, so we’d better get started before he decides to eat me!” She winks at the camera, laughing when Noodle’s forked tongue darts out to flicker against her cheek.

“I’m just joking. Jamaican yellow boas like Noodle only eat small prey like birds, bats, or today, rats!” she grins, running a hand over the snake’s sleek body. “But maybe he’ll make an exception just this once for our tech guy, Winn.”

She steps closer to the camera and extends an arm, Noodle poking his head towards Winn in interest. Winn shrieks at the snake’s approach, tripping over wires and plugs as he scrambles backwards, landing flat on his ass on the ground.

Kara grins, drawing the snake closer to her body again and extending her hand. “High five,” she grins at the snake, and Noodle flicks his tongue against her palm. “Operation Scare-The-Cameraman, Day One: complete.”

She reaches one gloved hand into the bucket to pull out a frozen rat as she scans the tablet in front of her. “Okay, so. This rat, named Dave, was purchased by Kerry in Thousand Oaks, who also included this message.”

She skims the purchase summary before holding the rat out to Noodle, who unlatches his jaw to swallow it whole. Kara stares into the camera, one eyebrow quirking. “That’s what you get for cheating, Dave.”

-

They move through most of the reptile house, Winn filming as Kara names and then proceeds to feed a bucketful of cockroaches to the zoo’s scaly inhabitants.

The longer it goes on, the more at ease Kara starts to feel, laughing and cracking jokes for the camera as she reads people’s messages to their ex with growing glee.

“Shouldn’t have forgotten to pick the kids up from school, Dan,” she sing-songs, dropping a frozen rat into the enclosure of Slinky the African rock python.

“Rachel from Gotham City, you told Dylan that is wasn’t him, it was you. Well, he wants you to know that this cockroach is definitely you,” she says with a rueful smile as the creature in question is plucked from her glove by a panther chameleon.

“Lucia hopes your new woman is ready for a lifetime of your snoring, Mason from Laguna Beach,” she says as she dumps a handful of cockroaches into the bearded dragon’s enclosure to be swallowed with great enthusiasm.

They make it to one of Kara’s favourite inhabitants, Godzilla the tiny leopard gecko. She lets the little fellow climb up onto one hand as she scans the tablet. “Alright, last one for today, folks,” she grins, grabbing one more bug for Godzilla’s dinner. “This is from Lena in Metropolis, who has named her cockroach Andrea. So Andrea, this is for—”

Kara cuts herself off as her brain registers the red shading over the message section. “Never mind, the message for this one is private,” she murmurs absentmindedly, eyes still stuck on the purchase summary. Her gaze catches on words like lies and betrayal and deception and ten years and she can feel her brow scrunching as her eyes narrow.

She looks back up at the camera, one fist clenching as she ignores Winn’s questioning look to clear her throat. “Alright, Lena’s message is confidential but let me just say: Andrea, if you’re watching, you’re lucky that all you’re getting is a cockroach with your name on it after the stunt you pulled. Lena, whoever you are, you’re a better person than I would be in your shoes.”

And with a gleeful smile and far too much gusto, probably, she extends the dead bug to the gecko perched on her palm. “Enjoy this one, Godzilla,” she coos at the tiny lizard. “Really savour it.”

He does, swallowing the bug in one smooth gulp, and Kara runs an affectionate finger over his head. “Hope you felt that, Andrea,” she mutters, too low for the cameras to pick it up. Probably. Hopefully.

She perches Godzilla back on his favourite rock and turns back to the cameras with a smile. Rounds out the livestream and repeats the details for people to purchase their own cockroaches ahead of the next day’s broadcast, high fives Winn once the cameras stop rolling, and chalks the whole thing up to a good – if weird – day’s work.

-

The livestream is a hit, and Cry Me a Cockroach sales rocket overnight.

Cat even graces her with a grudging well done as she heads to the aviary for the day’s filming and feeding. She and Winn repeat the same setup at the day before, moving around the enclosures to feed bugs and rodents to the assortment of birds housed within, Kara smiling and laughing and joking the whole way.

But as they come to the end of the broadcast something’s still niggling at the back of Kara’s mind and Winn’s about to shut off the cameras when Kara reaches out a hand to stop him.

“Um, before we go,” she starts, ignoring Winn’s what the hell look even as her cheeks flush crimson, “there’s just one more cockroach to be crunched. If you were watching yesterday, you might remember that Lena from Metropolis bought a cockroach named Andrea. Lena didn’t want everyone to know the terrible thing Andrea did to her but personally, I think it was bad enough that we could maybe do one more bug-feed. On the house,” she winks at the camera, reaching into the bucket at her feet.

She scoops up a container of frozen bugs, tilting them towards the camera. “Lena, I hope you’re watching, because every single one of these guys is named Andrea,” she grins, tossing the scoop into the enclosure of Tim McCaw, the zoo’s giant hyacinth parrot, where it is immediately devoured.

Winn ends the stream just as Kara’s phone rings in her back pocket; the Jaws ringtone that indicates her boss is calling. She answers with a wince, bracing for Cat’s inevitable reprimand for going off-book and dishing out her own vermin vengeance, but it doesn’t come.

Cat just informs her that cockroach sales have spiked again, and to keep up the adequate work. She also tells Kara to strip down to her tank top in the next stream, and not to be shy about lifting some of their heaviest snakes in front of the camera.

Kara doesn’t ask for the reasoning behind that specific instruction. Based on the way Winn had snickered into his hands for a solid three minutes upon overhearing it, she doesn’t really want to know.

-

It becomes something of a routine.

Every day, she and Winn move through the different enclosures, feeding cockroaches and rats and the occasional cabbage to the zoo’s inhabitants. Kara reads out the names and the stories – some of them funny, some of them sad, and some just plain weird – and tosses the meals to the waiting animals to be enthusiastically enjoyed.

And right at the end of each stream, Kara plucks out one extra cockroach, names it Andrea, and drops it into the waiting jaws of whichever animal seems hungriest that day.

Maybe she’s a little too invested in this Lena person. Winn certainly tells her so at least eighteen times a day. Alex and Kelly have picked up on it too; they both watch Kara’s livestream from work and take turns sending her a barrage of texts the moment it ends, ranging from gentle teasing (Kelly) to downright harassment (Alex).

Kara doesn’t mind. Something about Lena’s message, the way she’d described how she’d been betrayed by the person she’d trusted the most, had struck a chord deep in Kara. Lena had sounded so hurt, so alone, and yet the only revenge she wanted to take on the woman who broke her heart was to name a $5 cockroach after her.

She doesn’t know if Lena watches the livestreams. But it makes her feel warm and fuzzy inside to think that maybe, Lena has seen it, that she knows that there’s someone out there on her side. Even if that someone is just some random zookeeper on a Facebook live.

The streams, much to Cat’s delight and Winn’s relief, have gone viral. The day after Kara lifts the zoo’s seventy pound green anaconda above her head live on camera to demonstrate its enormous size – wearing the tank top Cat had not so subtly suggested – a clip of their broadcast is shown on national news. Sales skyrocket, with so many people trying to participate in the event that their website crashes. They’ve already raised enough money to cover the renovations of the panda’s enclosure so Cat spreads out the extra profits, investing in higher quality feed for the animals and a series of webcams that livestream footage of their most popular residents 24/7.

The zoo’s profile is rising, and more big donors and investors are expressing interest in the research and conservation work they’re doing. Cat harnesses their surge in popularity, launching new protection projects for snow leopards, rhinos, and pangolins.

Everything is going according to plan – better than planned – and Kara couldn’t be happier. Protecting the planet’s incredible wildlife was all she’d ever wanted to do, and if naming some cockroaches and wearing a few tank tops can help her achieve that dream, it’s a sacrifice she’s willing to make.

She does draw the line, though, at being dubbed Cockroach Kara by internet lurkers.

Winn is extremely unhelpful, collapsing into hysterical laughter the first time he shows her her new moniker and producing no useful suggestions as to how to make it stop. The problem resolves itself, however, after Winn videos Kara hefting two enormous fallen logs in the elephant rehabilitation enclosure onto her shoulders a few days later to move them to a safer location.

The next day, #DaddyDanvers is trending nationwide. Alex laughs herself clean off the couch when she sees it, and Kara blushes so long and so hard she’s not sure she’ll ever recover.

-

The month is drawing to a close, and Kara has to admit she’s going to miss their daily livestreams. Her audience has grown exponentially since the first broadcast and many people are now genuinely invested in the wellbeing of the animals, asking for updates on specific zoo residents and sponsoring conservation efforts for the most endangered creatures.

Kara decides to end the event on a crowd pleaser, and she and Winn make their way to the koala enclosure for the final stream. Sitting cross legged on the grass with a sleepy koala in her lap, Kara tugs the bucket of eucalyptus leaves closer to her side as the stream gets going.

“I know it’s very satisfying to name a cockroach after your ex,” she grins at the camera, “but as this is our last broadcast I thought we’d end on a more upbeat note. For all of you who’ve purchased a bug today, I’ll be feeding one eucalyptus leaf to our resident koalas here at National City Zoo. We’ve got three babies in here who are growing and hungry, so let’s turn the upset and bitterness caused by everyone who’s done you dirty into something good instead. Help something new grow out of the pain of the past.”

She feeds leaf after leaf to the cuddly little creatures, beaming as the entire family gradually make their way over to investigate her. Names each leaf and reads out each story, laughing as the baby koalas climb up her arms to cling to her back and shoulders, playing with her ponytail.

“And, in keeping with tradition,” she smiles, a koala on each shoulder and three in her lap, “I’m naming this final leaf Andrea.” She holds it out to the youngest of the bunch who grabs it eagerly, clasping the leaf between its tiny paws as it chews. Kara grins, glancing directly into the camera. “This one’s for you, Lena from Metropolis.”

She wraps up the stream with a heartfelt thank you to everyone who’d contributed money to the cause, beginning the gentle process of extricating herself from her clinging koalas as Winn packs up the camera equipment for the last time. He heads off, muttering something about giving Cat a debrief as Kara bends to collect her bucket and check the water levels, one baby koala still cradled in the crook of her arm.

She’s so absorbed in her examination of the control panel, checking light and humidity settings in the enclosure, that a throat gently clearing behind her makes her jump.

She spins to see a woman standing nervously by the door of enclosure, twisting her clasped fingers together in front of her. She’s elegantly dressed, with long dark curls and perfect porcelain skin, full lips and sparkling green eyes. She is, in short, the most beautiful woman Kara has ever seen in her entire life, and she promptly forgets how to breathe.

“Can I, um, help you?” she manages at last, cheeks flushed and voice cracking.

The woman presses her lips together, and Kara curses her own abject lack of subtlety as she tries (and fails) to pull her gaze away from the woman’s mouth. “I hope so,” the stranger says, and her voice is soft and lilting and lovely and Kara instantly becomes addicted to hearing it again. “You must be Kara Danvers. I’m— I’m Lena. From Metropolis.”

Kara’s mouth falls open, and she very nearly drops the poor unsuspecting koala in her arms out of pure shock. Blinks back into a semblance of self-awareness and places the cuddly creature carefully on a nearby branch so she can make her way over to the enclosure’s door, smoothing a hand self-consciously over her koala-mussed hair.

“Um, hi,” she breathes once she’s joined Lena on the other side of the glass. “Gosh. Hi. So you’re— you’re Lena. Like, Lena-and-Andrea Lena.”

The woman – Lena – smiles ruefully. “Well. Without the Andrea part, now. As I’m sure you will have read in my purchase summary.”

Kara barely represses the urge to smack herself resoundingly on the forehead. “God, right. Yes. Sorry, I’m so sorry,” she stutters. “That was so dumb. I just— I can’t believe it’s you.” She reaches a hand up to tug awkwardly on her ear, emphatically unable to stop more and more words falling out of her big stupid mouth. “I can’t believe Andrea did that to you. I mean—” she whistles under her breath, giving Lena an appreciative once over. “Look at you.”

Lena’s cheeks flush the prettiest shade of pink, teeth digging into the plush of her bottom lip. “Oh. Um. Thank you?”

“Oh Jesus, I didn’t— I’m sorry,” Kara stammers. “Okay. Let me start this again. Hi.” She extends a hand, sucking in a sharp breath at the feeling of soft skin beneath her own when Lena shakes it. “I’m Kara. It’s so great to meet you.”

Lena smiles, and Kara’s never really thought much about the word radiant before but that’s what the woman before her is. Lena blossoms when she smiles, and she’s so beautiful it takes Kara’s breath away.

She squeezes Kara’s hand once before letting go. “It’s great to meet you, too.”

-

The zoo’s opening hours come to an end but, Kara realises, her time with Lena doesn’t have to. Perks of being the head zookeeper and all.

She tentatively invites the dark-haired woman to stick around, takes her on a tour of the different animals and points out all her favourites. Lena is, like, crazy smart, in addition to being crazy beautiful, and she produces odd little facts about some of the zoo’s rarer inhabitants that even Kara hadn’t known.

Kara learns that Lena had just moved to the area from Metropolis after the Andrea incident, which she has to repeatedly remind herself not to bring up. She learns that Lena has a PhD, and that she’s the youngest head of R&D ever at her brother’s company. She learns that Lena had watched every single one of her livestreams, right from the first day, and had finally been convinced by her best friend to come and meet Kara in person.

She learns that Lena is gorgeous, and devastatingly funny in an understated kind of way, and smart and kind and generous and self-effacing. She learns that everything she learns about Lena only makes her want to know more.

They end up at the giant panda enclosure and Kara sneaks a look around before unlocking the door, ushering Lena inside. She leads the dark-haired woman to a dry patch of grass near where the babies are sleeping with their mothers and gestures for her to sit, realising belatedly that Lena’s suit probably costs more than Kara makes in a year and that she probably doesn’t want to muddy it up in a mess of twigs and leaves.

But Lena doesn’t even hesitate, taking a seat facing Kara and pulling her legs in close to her body. Her eyes keep darting to the pile of pandas behind them and Kara grins. “If we just sit here, they’ll come and investigate us,” she smiles, and Lena looks so excited that Kara’s breath catches in her chest.

They chat about Kara’s job, the zoo’s conservation work, Lena’s move out west and her latest projects at Luthor Corp. Sure enough, within minutes the most brave and inquisitive of the baby pandas has perked up from its nap, ambling over to give them a curious sniff.

Kara’s heart clenches so hard in her chest at the way Lena’s entire face lights up when one of the bears flops into her lap that she legitimately fears she may have gone into cardiac arrest. But if this is how she dies, so be it; watching the untempered joy in her expression as Lena holds a tiny panda in her arms, staying quiet and still as the baby paws and prods inquisitively at her face and hair, would not be a bad final image.

“I wanted to say thank you,” Lena murmurs after a while. “For what you did on the livestream every day. For your discretion, but also— your support.”

She takes a deep breath, gaze focused on the cuddly ball of fluff in her arms. “When Andrea and I ended, it tore me apart, and no one in my daily life knew what had happened. You can imagine why I wanted to keep the details private,” she smiles grimly, and Kara nods. “I felt so isolated. But seeing your videos, seeing you every day— it made me feel that little bit less alone.”

Lena blushes, ducking her head. “I’m sorry, I know that probably sounds ridiculous. I don’t— I didn’t even know you.” An errant curl falls forward into her face, and the baby panda in her arms immediately begins chewing on it.

Kara scoots forward on her knees, pulling the lock of dark hair gently from the baby’s grip and tucking it carefully behind Lena’s ear. “It’s not ridiculous,” she whispers as Lena raises her head again, suddenly aware that their faces are now only inches apart.

“I’m, I’m really glad I could do that for you. I’m really, really glad I got to meet you, Lena. And for the record,” she pauses to swallow hard, drowning in the intensity of Lena’s eyes. “Andrea is the biggest idiot on the planet to have ever let you go.”

Lena’s breath catches in her throat, and Kara doesn’t miss the way green eyes flicker down to her mouth for a moment, Lena’s tongue darting out to wet her own lips. It makes Kara feel bold, and before she can think too hard or second-guess herself she’s leaning forward, sliding a hand up to thread through soft dark hair and pressing her lips to Lena’s.

It’s light, brief, just the gentlest press of mouths, but it shoots a white hot bolt of fire from the crown of Kara’s head to the very tips of her toes. Her whole body is tingling as she pulls back, heart pounding.

“God, sorry,” she gasps, eyes widening as the reality of the boundary she’s just blown past comes slamming in. “Oh, fu— I’m so sorry, Lena, I don’t know what I was—”

“Kara,” Lena whispers, gently depositing her baby panda on the grass to push up on her knees as well. “Do it again.”

Well. She doesn’t need to be told that twice.

She surges forward again but Lena’s already there to meet her, mouths slanting together like they’d been doing it for years. Kara’s tongue darts out to trace the seam of Lena’s bottom lip and the dark-haired woman’s mouth falls open with a tiny gasp that hits Kara low in her hips. The first touch of Lena’s tongue against hers is bright, jagged and electric, and Kara tightens one hand in Lena’s hair as the other slides round her waist to anchor their bodies together, Lena’s own hands fisting in the collar of Kara’s green fleece.

Maybe it’s minutes, maybe it’s hours later that they finally break apart, gasping for air. Kara doesn’t particularly care. She takes in Lena’s heaving chest, her kiss-swollen lips and rose-tinted cheeks, and wonders how the hell a bucketful of dead cockroaches could ever have led her to something as beautiful as this.

“Oh,” Lena gasps, voice light and breathy. “Oh, wow. Maybe I should visit zoos more often.”

“As long as it’s this one, I’m on board with that,” Kara chuckles, tracing her thumb feather-light over Lena’s lower lip and trying (and failing) to restrain a shiver at the way Lena’s nails scratch lightly at the nape of her neck.

“So, um,” Lena murmurs, biting her lip, and it’s taking every scrap of Kara’s willpower not to interrupt whatever she’s about to say and claim her mouth once again. “I feel like an all-access encounter with baby pandas is quite a tough first date to follow but, um. Would you like to maybe do this again sometime?”

Kara grins. She grins and grins and grins. She doesn’t think she could stop grinning if she tried. “I’d love to.”

The answering smile that breaks over Lena’s lovely face makes Kara’s heart do a backflip, and she’s just about to lean back in when the ominous sound of the Jaws theme tune starts up from the pocket of her fleece.

She pulls out her phone, stomach dropping when she sees the thirty new messages from Alex and Kelly and Winn, the hundreds of Facebook and Twitter notifications flooding her homescreen. With a pit of existential dread opening up in her chest, she answers the call.

“Cat,” she says, voice bright and just a little too high. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

“I have to assume, since you were the one who lobbied for their installation, that you are aware of the three cameras livestreaming the giant panda enclosure at all times,” Cat drawls, voice bored and callous with the barest undertone of amusement. “Which leads me, naturally, to assume that your little after-hours rendezvous with billionaire tech mogul and philanthropist Lena Luthor was intended to be broadcast live to millions of viewers?”

Kara slaps a hand across her forehead, cheeks redder than a fire truck as she shoots an agonised glance in Lena’s direction. Lena shakes her head questioningly at her and Kara tugs the phone away from her ear to put the call on speaker.

“So, um. The whole world just saw that, huh?” she asks through a grimace. Lena’s eyes widen and she presses a delicate hand to her mouth to hold back a shocked giggle.

“They certainly did,” comes Cat’s disembodied voice. “And it’s doing wonders for our popularity. I already have three new investors interested in supporting our panda rehabilitation programme. You know, Keira, when I asked you to give the people a show, this is not exactly what I had in mind. But I must say—”

Her boss pauses for an interminably long moment and Kara holds her breath, wondering if she’s about to lose her job or get promoted.

“—I don’t hate it,” Cat finishes. “While you have her, perhaps you could ask Ms Luthor how she would feel about becoming an official patron of National City Zoo.”

“I would feel very good about it, Ms Grant,” Lena answers smoothly, serene and composed despite her kiss-tousled hair and smudged lipstick.

“Excellent,” Cat says resoundingly. “In that case, I’ll let you, ahem. Get back to it. My office at 9am for a staff meeting, Keira.”

“Of course,” Kara manages before hanging up, tossing her phone into the grass as she presses her palms to her flaming cheeks. “So, um. Our first kiss was just livestreamed to half the country.”

Lena presses her lips together to hold back a smirk. “It was.” She arches one eyebrow, a playful smile tugging at the corner of her mouth. “Well, there’s no going back now. We can’t break the Internet’s heart. I suppose I’ll just have to stick around.”

Kara gives up any last semblance of self-restraint at that, pushing forward to wrap her arms around Lena’s waist and pull her back in for another bruising kiss. “Well, Lena from Metropolis. I sure hope you do.”

Jar of Hearts ❤️ 

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