Lemon Shark 🍋🦈

Confession 91-02

This is a tale of three time-defying knights, but we shall start with humdrum glory.

16 years felt like half an eternity within the high walls of a mansion with seemingly as many rooms as there were visible stars in the night sky. Is there a better half elsewhere? Ilera often pondered. Born to parents who were slaves themselves in this aristocratic household, she spent her days hauling up trash, scrubbing off grime and wringing wet rags while other slave girls giggled among themselves when they could, sharing gossip about its master, who was always hanging out with a Somaku game buddy who practically lived in a house of ill repute. Hear no evil. That was the natural gift of her complete hearing loss. Why not finish the work quickly so that all of us could have time to teach ourselves to read and live second lives in the worlds of books, where we may travel anywhere we want?

Determined to dissuade her husband from spending time with his friend anyway, her mistress was busy mastering the board game herself. Fascinated by the strategy plays, Ilera would watch the piece patterns shift and shape between the couple, bringing life into the once blank numbness of her servitude. Back in the servants' quarters, she would picture the board on the tattered walls and test out move sequences while lying on her pallet.

One fateful night, the master teasingly left a difficult game situation for the lady to solve. As the frustrated lady went for a bathroom break, Ilera toyed with the pieces and found the correct move. Just then, the lady returned and saw Ilera's solution. Enraged, she accused Ilera of trying to seduce the master with her smart aleckiness, gave her a hard slap and tortured her with a burning iron. Ilera felt like she was in a world of fiery torment, her body writhing and wracking in anguish and her mind reeling, trying to escape the torture she was being put through.

As Ilera cried out in pain, two identical knights whose armor glowed with a bluish energy suddenly appeared in the room to save her. Their footsteps were muffled by the pads that lined their boots, and their swords were made of a glossy black material, their sharp edges glistening in the dim light. The knights moved with grace and precision, their movements carefully calculated as they stepped forward to whisk away Ilera. The shocked aristocrat lady could only nod in fear as they admonished her on the girl's rights. Ilera thanked the knights and gestured for their names and addresses so that she could repay them someday.

"Hold up. There's something you should know," one of the knights suddenly spoke up. "We may look like two people, but in fact, we are actually just a single man, a professional bodyguard from the temporal cluster 91-02. We have traveled back in time using a mechanism that caused us to emerge as multiple individuals in order to ensure moa-antimoa balance across spacetime according to the understanding of physics in our time."

"You mean to say that you're actually just one person?" Ilera wondered to herself, completely bewildered as she read his lips. But as they spoke on, she could tell that they were telling the truth.

Her mind blown by this incredible feat, Ilera spent years studying and eventually figured out how to travel to the time zone referred to as temporal cluster 91-02. However, upon her arrival, she realized that a person traveling forward in time would turn up at their destination invisible. Not used to speaking, she could not verbalize her existence either, for fear of startling the bodyguard. Being touched by an invisible entity or seeing writing or the like appear from nowhere would also make meeting again a one-time acquaintance he did not plan to see anymore eerie.

So Ilera merely watched in silence as the bodyguard went about his everyday life, shielding him from danger without him knowing. Sometimes, it involved diverting human and cyborg enemies with noise in a different direction. Sometimes, it involved altering the trajectory of an optoelectronic dart. Sometimes, she blocked off blows with her thin body, taking the hit for him. At night, she traded her imaginary game board for an imaginary map of hazard zones in his next work day's mission, and her shabby pallet for cold pavements.

On one mission, attack from assassins was so intense Ilera frenetically but astutely pulled off a spectacular series of stunts she picked up in the cluster. Just when she defeated the last assassin, a container of glistening rejuvenation capsules overhead toppled over, the translucent pills of liquid blinking with icy golden hues on contact with her body. Touched by the shimmering silhouette of her fighting pose, the bodyguard was finally certain someone invisible had been protecting him. He expressed his thanks out loud and invited Ilera to dinner.

As Ilera sat down at the dinner table, she was surrounded by a sea of colors and shapes, each formed by light bouncing around in seemingly endless layers of reflections and refractions. She reached out to touch the shining crystals forming the table, which rippled outwards as ripples in a pond, bending the light and creating a brilliant display of optical phenomena. The bodyguard gently smiled. As she explored this new world of physics and light, she couldn't help but find herself utterly transfixed. Bokeh spots then danced around, sharpened into focus and arranged themselves into words: I have traversed grand and unforgettable ancient millennia / But now I only want a future with you / No matter your age or gender.

Blushing in her surprise, Ilera never considered this before but at least had the assurance to type out her story on an airbound screen for him now. However, when the bodyguard learned Ilera's true identity, he choked in disbelief.

"Is this what it is? I am a highly trained professional, yet I … (laughs) I rely on the assistance of a deaf peasant girl from an ignorant, oh okay, bygone era to protect myself and my job? And I cultivated feelings for a mockery of me!" He pointed at her with a fat finger on impulse.

Ilera was shaken as his mouth trembled in rage. Repaying a kind deed was all that was previously on her mind. Never had she been in love with him. In the end, her fellow exponents, no matter the field of practice, place or time, saw her only as a rival or potential object of desire. We forever voyage on Atlantic trade ships propelled by our threatened primitive interests and our lurking thirst for power, every one of us bound by each other's history, ravaged by rich seas of little. Another light shone. With determined steps, the former slave girl disappeared into the mists of time. The cosmos was now her board, and she would be its game architect.

Credits

Plot + scifi terminology: Human

Prose: Human + 3 AI services

Atlantic trade note: Human's musing on Liu Cixin's afterword in the English edition of The Three-Body Problem

Puuung’s Kickstarter Challenge

Love is : Puuung’s illustration of love   Puuung is a popular Korean illustrator with a large fan base and is best known for her ‘Love Is’ series. This series of illustrations, which is about the universal theme of ‘Love’, is regularly uploaded on NAVER’s Grafolio service. http://www.grafolio.com/puuung1

Since 2014, Puuung has uploaded her illustration series ‘Love Is’ every Tuesday and Thursday on Grafolio, a global platform provided by NAVER for single person creators, She already has a wide fan base that eagerly waits for her updated works. She has received great response from the Korean audience and greater response from those overseas.

A global funding was started through “Kickstarter”, the crowdfunding platform, in June 6, to introduce Puuung’s illustrations to more people around the world. Crowdfunding is a way of raising money via the social media or the internet. Kickstarter, which was launched in April of 2009, is based in the United States and is the world’s most famous crowdfunding platform. Now, let’s hear from the designer who has been responsible for the whole process, from planning the Kickstarter reward items to producing samples and coming up with the completed rewards.

Planning the Kickstarter Reward Items While planning rewards items for Puuung’s Kickstarter project, we had to come up with product designs that best displayed the artist’s illustrations. Overseas delivery was also an important factor, and therefore items also had to be compact and light enough so that it can be delivered to people across the world. After looking into various items in numerous price ranges, and upon final review with the artist herself, fabric posters, an art book and a postcard collection were selected as rewards for Puuung’s first Kickstarter funding project.

Launching the Kickstarter Page We needed a webpage that provided detailed information on the reward items in order to start the funding. To do so, we made samples of each reward in advance and launched our Kickstarter page!! https://www.kickstarter.com We waited with great anticipation until 8 o’clock in the morning in Korea, since the project campaign webpage was to be launched in US standard time. And to our great surprise, we achieved our goal of 10,000 dollars within just two hours from the launch of the funding and collected over 126,000 dollars, which was more than 1000% of our target amount, during the one month funding period. In addition, Puuung became the first Korean in Kickstarter to reach third place in the illustration section, which is an enormous feat. More than 1,800 backers from 70 countries, including English speaking countries of the United States and Canada, European nations including France, Italy, Germany, Belgium, and Asian countries of Singapore and Hong Kong, participated in the funding. Backers will be given rewards such as postcard collections, art book and posters that contain Puuung’s illustrations.

Producing Kickstarter Reward Items The unexpectedly large number of backers meant that we had to increase the number of items we had to produce. Since a limited quantity of rewards was being produced through funding, we wanted to provide backers who love Puuung’s work with high-quality rewards. We therefore placed extreme care into the paper, material and print quality of the rewards. [Fabric Posters] We especially went through many trials and errors while we were producing the sample for the fabric posters. Canvas fabric, the most commonly used material for fabric posters, was unable to provide us with satisfactory print quality. Multiple tests were done with various fabrics before we were able to find a fabric that gave us a print quality that most closely resembled the original illustration.

[Art Book] The art book is 116 pages and contains Puuung’s illustration as well as drawings of three couples that were selected from Puuung’s photo competition event. The background of the illustrations has a lot of detail and illustrations are shown from various angles, so the layout was arranged to show the illustration in its original proportions. The epilogue of the art book contains information fans were interested in, including the artist’s “thank you” message and photos of her workroom, sketches and of herself. Puuung, despite her busy schedule, also created an original cover for the art book and postcard collection that were to be given to Kickstarter backers. This special cover, which contains original and unique illustrations, is only available in the Kickstarter rewards!!

[Postcard Collection] The postcard collection consists of 100 illustrations and contains never-before released illustrations created by Puuung. Comments left by Kickstarter backers, such as “I want to give your illustrations to my son for his one year wedding anniversary” or “I bought your postcard collection because I wanted to use your work in our wedding invitation” show the backers expectation and affection towards Puuung’s art book.

100 copies of the art book contains Puuung’s autograph, which were each carefully signed by the artist herself. We look forward to more of Puuung’s heartwarming illustrations as she continues to draw about even the smallest happiness that is felt between people in love. :-)

A Million Thanks! The EAW Poll Time Continues

Thanks to the warm responses from many Woo watchers, the target no longer looks like a very faraway dream. Add your voice to theirs here before the survey closes. On average, they have taken only 1 minute and 22 seconds to answer the three questions.

A note of repentance!

Floral Bomb Bowling

Physical experience idea: For a touch of nature and a grit-cultivating element of unpredictability, players in medieval village garb or animal mascot costumes take turns to pick from a cart of transparent balloons stuffed with flower heads and petal powder. Complicated impact dynamics are introduced as the balloon selected for the turn may burst as it is rolled down the bowling lane. The elevated cost is justified because watching the jolly but starvation anxiety-inducing original game, Netflix's cabbage-bowling challenge (scroll to the bottom) for cast members of Avatar: The Last Airbender, sets off waves of warmth and guilt in relation to a tomato tennis tournament few know about. Food insecurity and crop wastage are real issues a double major in air-castle bending and soap bending readily overlooks until they see the real thing.

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Tomato Tennis

"Things are about to get wild! As players take their positions, the smell of old and rotten tomatoes hits our noses, and the sight of player

Note that Soap 4.0 is so far a text AI-free zone.

Weaving Poetry, Beauty and Meaning

Weaving Poetry, Beauty and Meaning

Huang Juxiang (lit. fragrance of yellow chrysanthemums), Yamamoto Yueniang’s Peranakan mother and look-alike Enveloped in a mesmerizing atmosphere with a light touch of folk magic, Southeast Asian drama The Little Nyonya traces the story of its fairylike, Japanese-Peranakan heroine Yamamoto Yueniang from the 1930s to the present day. Its origins, however, began much earlier. Since the 10th…

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Past and Personhood in She Was Pretty (via The "Was" in She Was Pretty)

How it started 90% of the time: YASSS! Master Soapy T-Rex has only three lines to say about this impossible drama concept. Time guilt suppressed.

How it always ended:

soapver4.tumblr.com

Sentient Jams

Metadrama idea: Fairies and demons ranting against fates repeated across lifetimes, generations and realms — plunging down abysses, unsealin

After a long career passively (but not necessarily bitterly) hosting characters' romantic moments under or in the vicinity of their canopies, what do trees want in their retirement lives?

What if their aged selves will have ideas of romance different from characters' ideas of romance and our expectations of old trees?

What if those with the requisite magical power have only stayed rooted all their lives because they don't want to be fan-less, threatened freaks?

Check out how minutely detailed the alt text is. That's more admirable than any epic-scaled artwork on any platform.

Whoops next gen jumpscare

Mystical Quintet

Rock art, remarked philosopher Thomas Heyd, transforms land into landscape by imbuing it with cultural meanings. When someone looks at an old inuksuk, as Arctic researcher Norman Hallenday similarly opined, he is seeing more than a pile of stones—what enter his gaze are also the thoughts of another human being. And depending on how the viewer further engages with the stone structure, he adds new…

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