I Love Dadcup And Zephyr They Are My Pookies, My Sweetie Pies.

I love dadcup and Zephyr they are my pookies, my sweetie pies.

The Vikings Bride (2)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/63436504

Rating: G

Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III/Astrid Hofferson

Words: 3K

Chapter 2/?

Summary:

Astrid truly didn’t pay much actual attention to the farm boy who tended to the dragons. Still, nothing gave her as much pleasure as ordering Hiccup around. “Farm boy, tend to Stormfly.” She would snap. “Clean the stables!” She would order. Farm boy, do this. Do that. And every time without fail he would say, “as you wish.” It was all he ever said to her.

Princess Bride AU

Astrid woke up with a pounding headache. It was dark out and the boat she was on, rocked back and forth uncomfortably.

Looking around she saw that Stormfly was nowhere to be found while the three men were mingling around the boat. The man with the beard seemed to be steering and every minute or so would look back into the waters as if something was there. He suddenly looked back and their eyes met. He grinned. Irritation stirred in her gut.

“Oh! The princesa is awake, Snotlout!”

The black haired man or Snotlout looked back at her and smiled smugly.

“My my, look who's awake! Get enough beauty rest?”

“You obviously didn’t.” She spat. “Now let me go right now or I'll have your neck be a chopping board.”

Snotlout sneered, “you should worry about your own neck, Your Highness.” He paused when the fake bearded man kept looking back. “Stop that Tuffnut and relax! The job is almost done.” He kicked worn soles onto a crate.

Tuffnut looked back once more, “Either somebody is following us or the ghost of Snoggletog past is coming to haunt us.”

Snotlout snorted, “It would be inconceivable! No one in Berk or any Berserker knows what we have done.”

The other blonde looked ahead at where the supposed ghost was and furrowed his brows, “Um, Snotlout. Something is there.”

“What?!” Snotlout exclaimed. He got up to look over the desk into the distance. Tuffnut and the tall man did as well. Astrid took this as her cue to try and swim back to land. She found a nail on the side and started to get the ropes that bound her hands off. After a couple of seconds they were off. Astrid didn’t listen to the conversation the other three were having. She heard the word, “eel”, before she jumped overboard.

She gasped at the cold water and felt the strain in her muscles as she started to swim away. She vaguely heard shouting from the ship but the feeling of something slimy brushing against her leg had her screaming and flinching away.

“Stormfly!” She called desperately. “Stormfly!”

Long, patterned creatures shrieked long awful sounds while they swam around her. Her breathing picked up and she felt like her lungs were constricted.

This wasn't how she wanted to die. She wanted to die fighting for her country, not being eaten by eels.

She was suddenly ripped out of the water by a large hand and dropped onto deck. Looking down at her hands, she sees they are trembling. She feels the cold water soak into her clothes and bones. Her wet hair drips from her shoulder and is falling out of her braid.

Snotlout grabs her shaky hands, ties them up and drops a massive fluffy blanket on her.

“I think the ghost is getting closer.” Tuffnut says.

“Shut up and sail on!” Snotlout snaps.

It’s hours later when she’s dry and napped for about 30 minutes that they start to reach any semblance of land. The sun is rising, the sky a mix of oranges and purples.

“The ghost is here! The ship is right on top of us!” Tuffnut yelled in alarm.

Astrid looked back to see a small ship in the distance with a black silhouette standing atop it.

“Well he’s out of luck then! Only Fishlegs can get us up so it’ll be hours before he will reach us.”

Snotlout, Fishlegs and Tuffnut docked the ship at cliffs that stretched high above. They were steep with jagged edges. The Cliffs of Insanity. She was strapped to Fishlegs as were the rest of the group. There was a rope that stretched all the way to the top. Fishlegs grabbed a firm hold and started climbing. It was a few minutes later that Astrid looked down and saw that the man in black’s ship stopped just right besides there and the man hopped off. She caught a glint of metal. The man was missing part of his left leg, just below the knee, and it was replaced by a metal prosthetic. Huh. She couldn’t make much out of him besides the fact that he was scrawny looking and maybe tall. It was hard to tell from this high up.

Snotlout was yelling in her ear. She scowled. She wished she had her axe with her.

“He’s gaining on us?!” Snotlout shouted. “Inconceivable!”

Astrid looked down and saw the man in black was climbing the rope at an alarming rate. He was wearing a mask that covered half of his face and his body was covered in dark leather armor.

“Wow. He has good upper arm strength.” Tuffnut commented.

“Move faster Fishlegs!” Snotlout screeched.

“I’m…going as fast…as I can.” Fishlegs gasped out.

“Yeah Snotman, there are four of us and only one of him. Geez.”

Snotlout groaned, “I hired you! Do your job!”

They kept climbing and the man in black kept gaining ground on them. They reached the edge of the cliff and Tuffnut climbed on the ledge, pulled her up, dumped her on the ground and pulled Snotlout up. Snotlout immediately ran to the rock the rope was tied to and started cutting it with a dagger. Right as Fishlegs made it onto the edge, the rope snapped and rushed past them into the abyss below. The three kidnappers ran over and peaked over the edge.

“You were right, Tuffnut,” Fishlegs said in awe. “He does have very good arms”

Snotlout scowled and turned red. “He didn’t fall?! Snotlout exclaimed. “Inconceivable!”

“You keep using that word. I don’t think it means what you think it means.” Tuffnut said then looked down. “Oh Thor, he’s climbing. He would be a good rock climber in another time and place.”

Snotlout pointed at her and then at Fishlegs. “Go grab her. Tuffnut you stay behind. If he falls, he falls. If he doesn’t, kill him yourself.”

Astrid startled when Fishlegs came towards her and she quickly got to her feet and bolted. She must have lost her shoes sometime in the earlier hours because she felt the rough cobblestone against her soles and then the prickly feeling of grass.

“Get her! I’ll deal with Tuffnut.” Snotlout ordered in the background then there was the sound of two claps. Then a thudding sound of feet came rushing towards her. Astrid may be fast and she may be strong, both are something she prides herself in. But whatever state Fishlegs is in and the sheer height that he possesses lead to him quickly catching up and grabbing her by the arms. She struggles in his grip but to no avail. A few minutes pass and Snotlout walks over.

“Idiot is going to duel the man with his left hand. Inconceivable!” Snotlout claps twice and Fishlegs grip loosens to be not painful. She cranes her neck to see him blink in confusion.

“He should be careful. People in masks cannot be trusted.”

Snotlout nods like what Fishlegs is sprouting is actual facts. Then he turns to her and smirks, “you really should try not to run away. You know what happened last time you tried.” He gestures to her half undone braid and her rumbled clothes.

She sneers and struggles in Fishlegs grip, “Let me go you son of a half-troll, rat eating, munge bucket! I can’t wait to chop you to pieces!”

Snotlout rolls his eyes and pats her on the head in fake sympathy. She bites his hand.