“but Why Do We Need To Teach Or Mention Asexuality In Health Class”

What's the real thing the 3am text/creepy grandma at your door prompt is based on!?!? Please, I need details!!! 💙

A friend got a text from an unknown number that said “do NOT answer the door” during a sleepover, which was instantly followed by someone knocking at the door and an elderly woman calling out, asking if any of us had any honey to spare. Given the fact they lived up a crazy long driveway, surrounded by forest, and it was 3 am, it was pretty sus.

Our small group kind of freaked out, and naturally I was delighted.

It was at this point that I remembered we had gone shopping for sleepover provisions earlier in the day, and had mistakenly bought honey instead of syrup, and no one liked honey (there was much complaining). So I did a dash for the kitchen and snatched the honey, then rather gleefully bounded over to the door, much to my friends horror.

Sure enough, very old lady is standing at the door, looking like every grandma stereotype you’ve ever heard of. I looked rather manic myself, with what my friends called, “That freaky unhinged grin you do.”, and handed her the whole thing of honey, and told her she could have it.

She looked genuinely surprised and kind of straightened a bit, then got this glint in her eyes and started fighting a grin. 

We stood there and bantered for a while as my friends freaked the fuck out inside, before she finally said goodbye, told me to “Keep making mischief” and then strode off down the drive with a walk that was very much at odds with her hunched “feeble” appearance from a few moments earlier.

None of my friends slept that night, and I took particular glee in making strange noises whenever they would start to calm down. I was always a little shit like that.

Never saw her again, but I was gifted a rather beaten looking metal (Brass maybe?) flute the next evening on the doorstep with a simple “Thank you” written on a leaf of all things. None of my friends wanted to go anywhere near it, and I still have it to this day.

Fun History Fact: The overwhelming majority of cowboys in the U.S. were Indigenous, Black, and/or Mexican persons. The omnipresent white cowboy is a Hollywood studio concoction meant to uphold the mythology of white masculinity.

I didn't know how many good affects they had

remember being little and thinking dandelions were fun or a pretty color or something and every adult in an 80 mile radius wouldn’t let you say that without screaming ITS A WEED

Sparta was ahead of its time

fake relationship but its a king and his concubine that was once an amazing soldier but he couldn’t go up the ranks for whatever reason so the king was like listen. hear me out. you can be my strategy dude. u just gotta be okay w walking around shirtless a lot. and soldier dude is like man that’s an UPSIDE and yknow they end up falling in love

This is incredible! It makes so much sense!

An incredibly dumb thought came to me when I figured out how to solve the password for aheistwithmarkiplier.com. Dark said that he put in the secret codes into every adventure in this story. HE put the codes in HIMSELF.

For a while I’ve been wondering. Mark said that William, the Actor, and Damien are basically characters borne out of different aspects of himself. And so I was wondering how the hell then does Dark relate to Mark’s charitable side? If Dark is a mutation of Damien, corrupted and angry, what does that say about Mark and his charity? Well, I’ve got it! It all makes sense to me now! Because of this stray thought because of Dark’s ending with the heist!

Willford is boundless, unrestrained creativity. With no one to hold him back or to make him settle down, he will do the most outlandish wild things, even if that means violence. Wilford is in essence the love for creating and imagination.

The Actor is unrestrained ego. He is charisma and the face and the smile that you adore. The Actor is the one you see on the screen and while the other two are always there and are always present, the Actor is the one who gets the credit. The Actor is what you see, but that is also all he is. A transient face. The Actor is in essence the love for Mark’s own self. But not necessarily in a narcissistic sense either. Because in order to know who you want to be and what you need to do to make yourself happy, you must learn to love yourself too. Or at least the person you want and pretend to be.

Dark IS restraint. He is knowledge and patience and anger and restlessness and rules and order. Dark operates unseen, unknown and unacknowledged. He may indulge himself every once in a while, but he has work to do. And the work is never over. Besides indulgence is what the other two are for. Dark cares more and more deeply than the either two do. He is the restraint that keeps the other two from doing anything that they will regret. He keeps us, the audience from ever getting hurt. He may play games, but ultimately keeps us from seeing the worst of the world. Dark is in essence the love for others and the audience especially.

Another way to put this. Wilford is the writer. Mark is the performer. Dark is the editor.

Dark IS the editor! Of course Dark’s always mad! He’s the editor! He’s the one who has to do the freaking WORK! He has to tie everything together. Make everything cohesive. Make it not insufferable for the audience. Because he cares about the audience. He has to schedule. He has to think. That’s why Dark is his charitable side. He cares about the audience. He cares about everyone! And he might get sour about it, but he cares, you know? In the end all three parts need one another to be the Mark that we all genuinely love.

Please watch this video if your sad.

(No kitties were hurt.)

So it’s very late but I want to share the best piece of wisdom my mother has ever offered me.

One time, when I was having a very hard time, bad enough that I admitted I was struggling to my mother. My mother looked at me and told me: “Don’t make big decisions in February.” 

I was very confused, because it was not February at the time, but she explained that one year, when she was younger but old enough to live on her own, she was having a very hard time, much like me. She found herself feeling especially low and especially stressed in February. And she decided she wouldn’t make any big changes for the rest of the month.

And the month went by, and she had a hard time, but time passed and it happened that by the beginning of March, she was feeling a lot better. And she was able to make big decisions she had avoided in February.

So now it’s a mantra for me: Don’t make big decisions in February.

February being whenever I feel down or angry or stressed. 

Boss or coworkers being crappy? Don’t make big decisions in February.

Feeling lonely and it’s 2am and you have a bottle of hair dye just sitting on your bathroom sink? Don’t make big decisions in February.

Give yourself space to think through your decisions. Bad moods rarely give you the best judgement. Anxiety disorders, depression, and other mental illnesses will try to convince you the wrong decisions are the right ones, and in the moment, they sound very convincing. 

So give yourself time to figure out if that’s what you actually need, what you actually want, and what would maybe feel good in the moment but have consequences you’re not willing or ready to deal with.

Try not to make life changes in February, whatever February is for you.

A concept: mermaids in wheelchairs

Trying to teach all the slang and ever-changing fashion to ancient people tho

I wish I could terrorize ancient people with things that are commonplace today