FINISHED BUNNY!!!

nina touching kaz when he starts having a flashback, trying to do her calming heartrender thing, but the power of his ptsd either cancels it out or just makes it impossible because she needs physical contact for it to work and that's obviously a no-go

kaz and inej's individual relationships with touch are honestly so compelling. inej hates the lack of control but when she sees it coming she'll let jesper and nina hug her because they're safe and she trusts them, and she wants to try with kaz despite everything, and she'll sit on the bathroom counter and let him stand between her legs to patch her up knowing it's difficult for both of them because maybe opening up about her own struggles will help him realise he's not all alone in the world

and kaz does try for her and he'll bodily throw himself at jesper to save his life and hold onto him when he gets knocked out in a very dangerous place in the process because like hell is he getting himself another dead brother, but at the end of the day it's still all about the trauma and the autonomy and the stolen innocence and the limitations and the boundaries and the trust placed in their chosen people not to cross them and-

TSH hot takes 🔥

-Julian was actually a dick. He isolated and groomed vulnerable students (do you think it's a coincidence that every single member of the greek class had a difficult home life?) into thinking that these very outdated concepts of love and power were good for them. He compared their dangerous behaviour to that of ancient gods. Then, rather than face the consequence of his actions and take accountability, he left when it mattered.

-Charles was an asshole, but he's not a scapegoat. You cannot blame all the problems on Charles, he was an addict as a result of his trauma. He needed help. This doesn't excuse him from his actions, but it explains them. At the beginning of the book he physically could not bring himself to hurt Camilla. He's not a "bad" person. He's a sick person.

-Bunny didn't deserve to die, but he was also probably going to condemn the group at some point. He didn't just die for no reason. (Believing that Bunny's death was truly pointless also means believing that Henry was an actual psychopath who killed his friend for shits and giggles.)

-Judy, Cloke and Sophie ended up the happiest. That is literally the moral of the book. Judy wasn't all tortured when Richard didn't want to hang out with her, she shook it off and kept living her life. That's literally the point.

-Richard was never in love with Camilla. He loved the idea of her, but didn't see her as a person. Because of this specific dynamic and the fact the Richard is narrating, we know nothing about her actual personality. Anything he says can be disputed, and a lot of it contradicts itself.

-Francis is not blameless or unproblematic, but of the group he probably had the best intentions. Most of his behaviour that can be interpreted as creepy can be chalked up to Richard's internalized homophobia (remember, everything is told from his point of view, and Francis was a gay man in the 80's) When you look objectively at what Francis did, you see that he made a pass, got rejected, then dropped it and moved on. There is (i think) one more attempt made later on in the book, and that is furthered by Richard and only interrupted when Charles shows up.

-Henry may be the metaphorical representative of death when talking about the book, but in the narrative it's important to remember he's also just a person. Otherwise everything he does seems beyond question, and he's assigned this label as just "evil." He was 21!! Literally still a kid

-There were not good or bad characters. The reason they hit so hard is because each of them are so layered. They all have good traits and bad traits, but calling one "evil" takes away their humanity and dismisses their complexity that makes them so great.

Kaz Brekker: A Character Study

Eyes bright, hair wild, Lips curved in a little smile. Scraped knuckles, bruised knees, Tousled gently by the country breeze. "Jordie, look, I made a friend!" Did all good things have to end?

Eyes wide, hair bristling, Lips parted in a whispered "No." Trembling fingers, racing heart, Blood like blossoms on a sunlit floor. "Jordie, quick, I think he's hurt!" Could things ever get any worse?

Eyes hopeful, hair combed neatly, Lips spread in a tremulous smile. Mittens folded over steaming chocolate, Gazing at the promise of a new sunrise. "Jordie, I think we might make it." Who knew the best way to be happy was to fake it?

Eyes waxy, hair limp, Lips closed over chattering teeth. Aching ribs, aching heart— It had never been so hard to breathe. "Jordie, please, please, wake up." They'd come too far to give up.

Eyes unseeing, hair unseen, Lips blue, dying, dying. In a pile of festering bodies, The only one who was still alive. "Jordie, wake up, please, I'm sorry." It was the only way to survive.

Eyes dull, hair pushed back, Lips pressed into a flat line. They would pay for what they did, Languish in suffering of his design. "Jordie, I promise I'll avenge you." Why wasn't he sure if that was true?

Eyes wild, hair on end, Lips trembling over trembling breaths. Crouched against a locked bathroom door, Drowning till he'd died a thousand deaths. "Jordie, please, go away." He could feel the bodies, smell the decay.

Eyes hard, hair neat, Lips in a mocking smirk. Death was dealt out far too easily, Condemningly common in his line of work. "Jordie, now I'm a monster too— What, now, would I think of you?"

Eyes caught, hair tousled, Lips frozen mid-sentence. Gazing at her, silhouetted by the sun, He could almost believe in magic again. "Jordie, I'm scared my walls are falling down." For once, he was defenseless, and he wasn't going to drown.

Eyes shy, hair straight, Lips forming words he didn't want to take back. Broken boy and broken girl— His defenses were about to crack. "Jordie, not all good things have to die." He wondered if he should straighten his tie.

If we actually get a SOC spinoff, it better open up with Joost. You don’t understand how much I need it.

If every single one of you who watched s2 (or not yet) but would like to see a continuation to their story would tune in this weekend and give one full watch (again or for the first time) of the whole eight episodes, it'd do wonders for the numbers. So if you have a netflix account, please do so NOW! It'll be four weeks on the coming Thursday and then their fate is pretty much sealed.

normalize reading a book without caring if the spine breaks, folded cover, misspelled annotations and just ruining the book completely as a form of art

He actually looks at ease here if only for a second. I wonder if he thought he was dreaming still. Do you think Kaz Brekker, Dirtyhands, the bastard of the Barrel and the deadliest boy in Ketterdam has had dreams about waking up to Inej Ghafa beside him? I definitely do.

I actually really love this tiny Kanej moment. Inej apologies for touching him and then moves on for his sake- she doesn’t ask questions, she just lets it go. Lets him recover.

WESPER DELETED SCENE

Bunny by Mona Awad (Spoilers!!!)

okay so bunny by mona awad succeeded in areas I think my year of rest and relaxation by otessa moshfegh failed in which she created a satire that actually had something to say. the way awad deals with the concepts of loneliness (both incidental and self inflicted), female friendships, class and the pretentiousness of New England college culture actually feels purposeful. and the reason I compare it to moshfegh is because both books are satires with unlikeable protags but while moshfegh is too busy kissing her own ass and hiding behind “oh all art is apolitical” bc shes to scared to admit that she actually cares about the topics shes talking about, awad cares very deeply about what she’s writing which made it unsurprising to see she based it on her own experiences at brown university.

Samantha is not the most likable character and you’re either gonna cone away from the book hating her and her pity parties or deeply understanding why she throws them (especially if you read her as a woman of color like I did). there’s a constant theme of her being obsessed with her own otherness and its true especially when you consider (Spoiler) She created her best friend Ava from a swan in the pond . Ava is Samanthas ideal friend but also the ideal form of herself: cool, self assured and beautiful. If Ava is the good part of herself, then Max is the bad. Her dark thoughts, negative impulses and hatefulness. But he is also how she sees herself as well, or at least what she thinks Ava would find attractive, he’s smooth, attractive in a dangerous way, poetic without being pretentious (he’s a literal vessel for her to say what she feels about Ava all of which is written in her diary) and what I think is very very important he can fuck Ava. Something the bunny-boys couldn’t do.

there’s also the sense of how we lose ourselves in our friends, as female friendships tend to be all consuming to the point we really do melt into a hive mind and I think even the friendship with Ava is tinged with co-dependency. Samantha dehumanizes the Bunnies calling them by nicknames she gave them, robbing them of agency because of their perceived perfectness but once she is invited to the Smut Salon she begins to call them by their real names until finally in honestly the most disorienting section of the book they all become Bunny, to the point its hard to tell who is talking and I loved that I wish we got more of Sam as a Bunny.

the atmosphere and aesthetics of the novel were so fun a candy colored dark academia where we even see that the bunnies also put on airs around each other like how Kira’s voice deepens when she thinks shes alone, no longer concerned with sounding like. bunny. I like how each of the women have a genre assigned to their writing and personal style showing how even though they are indistinguishable from each other, they were their own people beforehand but they allowed themselves to get sucked into a vacuous pretentious bubble.

the commentary on class was great, especially with how sam is said to be too obsessed with being poor to have been poor her whole life and I think thats a very accurate representation of someone who’s financial status has been precarious for much of her formative years and why despite herself shes so intrigued by the bunnies and feels out of place in her writers cohort. rich people love to blow smoke up each others asses, which allows the bunnies to write horrible work because at the end of the day they’re rich it doesn’t matter they’re never gonna have to improve themselves. its also why sam feels reluctant to speak her true feelings on their work because she doesn’t have anyone to rely on lest she gets ousted

the usage of the all female writing cohort with the singular teacher was a great nod to the secret history honestly the whole book was

I loved how it was a creation horror story as well as coming of age the horrific parts were truly gross and the way the cannibalize themselves (metaphorically) towards the end was satisfying as fuck

and a lot of ppl hate the ending but sam choosing Jonah was honestly cathartic, she isn’t healed things aren’t sweet and nice but she makes a connection with someone who has been reaching out to her instead of being obsessed with her own otherness