once in a while i hear from people that i produce some of the only hetalia content they still enjoy and while i am always chuffed to hear it i realize that most of my content is so niche that it’s barely recognizable as hetalia sO HERE IS AN HETALIA FOR YOU! :D
i have struggled A Lot with my relationship with aph/hws canada over the past decade and I’ve mostly realized that the only way I can make him palatable and relatable again is to portray him (ironically?) closer to how he was in canon with a few of my own tweaks… maybe in there somewhere he has a heart but it gets obscured by his 1. extreme passive aggressive sass and 2. tendency to let every single force in his life no matter how small define himself for him and Maybe if he actually did something about his mental health / quarter life crisis he’d be less of an asshole.
Like, the only reason everyone thinks he’s so nice and polite is because he is constantly apologizing for being a literal train wreck but making absoultely zero effort to be less of a train wreck because for some reason people think his executive dysfunction is Cute and Endearing when it’s actually horribly destructive.
but these days i still find him relatable because i’m currently trying to unpack a lot of figurative and literal baggage and it’s really hard to do when no one’s ever encouraged you to do it on your own before.
also he lives with a polar bear and that can’t be very good for his floors
Words: 5,719
Summary: Churchill lies, Singapore falls, an empire abandons his children in a sea of wolves. When their brother finds out, there will be hell to pay.In early 1942, Alfred Jones travels across the globe to save his baby brother and sister from the betrayal of their father. When Arthur Kirkland returns at long last, his eldest is waiting for him, ready to spill blood.
Warnings: Language, mentions of death and bodily injury.
Author’s Note: I kept things very vague to make it easier for myself, but this takes place not too long after the Battle of Coral Sea in May 1942.
You can also read on Ao3 if you prefer
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Alfred Jones hadn’t wanted to kill his father this badly since 1781. Come to think of it, Alfred wasn’t sure he’d ever wanted to kill his father as much as he did now.
Sure, he hadn’t been pleased that President Roosevelt acquiesced to Britain’s insistence on a Germany-first strategy. The scar of Pearl Harbor was still fresh and livid, and he was spoiling for a chance to hunt Kiko down personally. Even so, he’d kept his mouth diplomatically shut and had taken heart when Churchill assured him that British forces in the pacific would hold, that the ANZACs would have plenty of reinforcements to hold allied territories there.
That, as it turned out, had been a massive lie. Gargantuan. Colossal. Titanic, in fact. His father might as well have designed the ship himself, stuck his two youngest on board without lifeboats bound straight for an ice field, and stayed cozy in Belfast while Alfred broke his back feeding coal to the Carpathia in a blind, unplanned panic. Churchill fiddled while Singapore fell, and Father fiddled along with him.
“Where is he?” Alfred demanded, ignoring the guard at the entrance who was trying to slow him down.“
“I’m sorry?” Asked the startled British soldier stationed at the war room door.
“Arthur Kirkland. Where is he?”
The soldier took a few tries to say, “General Kirkland hasn’t yet arrived, sir.”
“Fine. Which room will be his?”
“Sir, I’m so sorry, can I get your name, I’ll need to ask–”
“Where?” Alfred demanded, and there was something in his too-perfect voice, his too-blue eyes, that made the soldier startle and point immediately down the hall.
“End of the hall, on the left.”
Alfred stormed in that direction without a word. The soldier blinked a few times. A deer released from headlights, it took him a moment to get his bearings.
“Wait,” he called after Alfred, quickly jogging after him. “Wait sir, you’re not allowed to-” but Alfred was already inside, going around to sit in the officer’s chair behind the empty letter desk. “Sir, the General won’t be here for another five, six hours.”
“Fine,” Alfred said, and had this young Australian known him better, he would have known to be frightened by his stoic, collected anger. Facial expression unchanging, the American wheeled back in the chair and propped his feet on the desk. “I’ll wait.”
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Aren’t we all blessed hws America got the old English human name ‘Alfred’ even though it was kind of a rare name at the time and not something stupid from his Puritan days like Thou-Shall-Not-Commit-Adultery Jones or Sorry-for-sin or Fly-fornication yo these sepratists really be insane while naming their kids.
Do yall remember that time when the fandom treated England like the victim of the Revolutionary War 💀 like that mf isn't like 25+ beefing with a 13-16 year old over taxes like let's be fuckin fr 😭😭😭
I made a bunch of in-universe memes for some reason and they’re completely incomprehensible. can you imagine how fucking awful mainstream and social media would be in the hetalia universe though?
HETALIA x Beauty and the Beast CROSSOVER Germany as Prince Adam fem!Italy as Belle Sketch by me
HETALIA FANDOM HOW WE FEELIN?
bad
did this lil art trend for funsies
I keep my embarrassing little thoughts in the tags where they belong
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