This Miguel Concept Art Is My Roman Empire Btw (by Cteec On Ig)

My family has started calling my cat "the beast" which is very funny considering she's a 19yo arthritic old lady who needs help up and down the stairs. Not to mention she doesn't really meow any more, just sits and stares at you, and im the only one who can reliably guess what she wants, so my parents are constantly messaging me "The beast awakens... I know not what she desires 😥😥" i feel like the chosen prophet of an eldritch god

This will never NOT be funny

Two years?! I’m in!

seeing people be shocked that norm has children and him not raising spider was not out of inability but rather a choice reminds me that a lot of people i think misunderstood a big part about spider. it’s not just the sullies, every adult in his life has failed him. you can’t only blame the sullies for not understanding him because every other character is just as guilty of it

For some reason I never considered that looms could be small and projects could be accessible ?? How did you get started weaving and what resources did you use?? I saw some of the work you’ve made and I want to get started learning so badly!! Help!

Yess! Weaving is great because of how accessible it can be!! Something I also only recently realized!

I've been enamored with weaving ever since 6 year old me saw an enormous floor loom in action at a textile museum. Despite my fascination with textiles, it still took 20ish years before I picked up weaving as a hobby. Looms were pricy, big, and complicated. It wasn't until I came across bandweaving that it really felt like something I could casually pick up without committing to spending a ton of time and money. I started with tablet weaving, but have since switched to weaving with a heddle. I've been learning by referencing books, looking up weaving process videos, and a lot of trial, error, and experimentation.

Here's a list of resources for two very accessible types of weaving that don't need a loom:

Resources for tablet weaving

Tablets can be bought, but are also easy to make at home from a deck of cards, cereal boxes, recycled plastic, etc. You can find a tutorial for creating your own here.

Tablets at Work by Claudia Wollny An incredibly comprehensive book featuring 22 tablet weaving techniques. The book is written in German and English. Highly recommend for the very enthusiastic.

Card Weaving by Candace Crockett The book that got me started. Easy to follow, informative, and much cheaper and easier to find than Tablets at Work.

Elewys of Finchingefeld A great youtube channel for historic tablet weaving.

Resources for weaving with a heddle

Rigid heddles can be bought or laser cut, and string heddles are created at home out of yarn/string. They are similar, but offer different advantages. Rigid heddles can be simpler to work with, especially if you're working with multiple sheds. String heddles require a few more steps to open the down shed, but don't distort the width of your warp threads. This allows you to weave further down your warp, and makes it easier to keep an even band width.

Here is tutorial for creating your own string heddles.

Norwegian Pick-Up Bandweaving by Heather Torgenrud The book that I learned from! Focuses on pick-up weaving, but is a good introduction to bandweaving in general.

Durham Weaver has a blog and youtube channel. They tend to focus on Scandinavian style weaving, and feature content on weaving with a double slotted heddle, as well as how to set up your warp.

Backstrap Weaving by Laverne Waddington is a blog packed with information about weaving with string heddles. They tend to focus on Latin American style weaving.

A Spinner Weaver is a blog about inkle weaving, though the techniques can be done off of a loom as well. Inkle looms are among the cheaper looms and are designed for bandweaving.

Have you ever been to earth?

On earth, we use the word “burrito” to describe a tortilla filled with things you eat. Pretty simple stuff, and I’m surprised you at least got that part right. My burrito was, in fact, filled with food. In this, you and I agree and are friends. But this is also where my lifelong hatred begins for you and anyone else whose brain has been repeatedly scrubbed with the same mixture of bleach and Pop Rocks as yours has. Because that should have killed you, but left you around long enough to do what you did to me today. Let me explain:

You’re an idiot.

Let me further explain:

Burritos are eaten from one end to the other. So that means when you assemble a burrito with motherfucking ZONES of ingredients going that direction, you create a disgusting experience for the burrito’s end user. When you make a burrito, you should put the ingredients in layerslengthwise. That way, every bite has AT LEAST A FUCKING CHANCE of getting at least two types of ingredients, and there is little chance of becoming almost hopelessly trapped in a goddamned cilantro cavern.

Have you ever eaten one of the things you make all fucking day? You should try one. They are pretty good WHEN YOU ARE NOT WILLING YOURSELF THROUGH THE FUCKING EMPIRE OF SOUR CREAM ONLY TO END UP IN LETTUCE COUNTRY.

When you eat a burrito, you don’t stand it up and bite down on it lengthwise like a fucking Rancor. Humans can’t usually dislocate their jaws, and I’m not a fucking pelican. But you must think that’s how it’s done, since that would be THE ONLY FUCKING WAY to take a bite of your crapstrosity and have it taste like a burrito.

And guess what else, player? You probably can’t guess anything, because I’m pretty sure you’re just a mop with a hat on it that fell over and spilled some shit into a tortilla, but just in case, here’s what:

Humans also don’t eat burritos like fucking corn on the cob. Like a fucking typewriter from one end to the other a little at a time and then DING next line. But today I wish I had tried that. Because at least THEN I would be able to eat some rice, then beans, then be all like HEY BEANS I’LL BE RIGHT BACK JUST GOING OVER HERE TO THE GUACAMOLE FOR A SECOND.

Nope.

My experience was more like HEY BEANS IT’S JUST GOING TO BE YOU AND I FOR A MINUTE UNTIL I CAN FUCKING EXCAVATE THE RICE FROM BENEATH YOU BUT BY THEN YOU WILL BE A FADING MEMORY OH HEY I WAS WRONG I’M IN THE FUCKING CHEESEOSPHERE NOW RICE MUST BE NEXT I HOPE IT’S NOT ANOTHER FUCKING SALSA POCKET.

You built this thing like a fucking pack of LifeSavers.

And don’t even fucking think I’m about to open this shit up and re-engineer your nonsense 90 degrees. I ALREADY PUT A HOLE IN IT WITH MY FUCKING MOUTH. YEAH. THAT’S HOW I DISCOVERED YOU FUCKING SUCK AT LOOKING AT THINGS. I AM NOT GOING TO DO FUCKING TORTILLA ORIGAMI TO GET THIS SHIT BACK TOGETHER, ONLY TO END UP WITH A BURRITO THAT’S BEEN SHOT IN THE GUT AND IS BLEEDING YOUR INEPTITUDE.

What’s that? I should ask you to mix it up first next time? IS THIS JAMBA JUICE? I DON’T WANT TO DRINK MY FUCKING BURRITO THROUGH A BENDY STRAW, AND I DON’T WANT A PILE OF BURRITO SOUP IN A FLOUR CAN.

I just want a burrito.

In conclusion:

You’re the worst thing that has ever happened to the universe, you owe everyone everywhere an apology for this burritobomination, and I hope your babies look like monkeys.

UPDATE FOR EVERYONE WHO SAID “JUST EAT IT WITH A FORK”:

A fucking fork?

I DIDN’T ORDER THE FUCKING COBBURRITO SALAD.

If anyone ever handed me a burrito with a fork, THEY WOULD BE WEARING A BRAND NEW BURRITO HAT FROM MY FALL COLLECTION TEN SECONDS LATER.

That’s like buying a car and having them hand you a fucking wrench with the keys. Like YEAH WE KNOW THIS MOTHERFUCKER’S GOING TO EXPLODE AND BE SPREAD ACROSS EIGHT LANES AS SOON AS YOU HIT THE GAS, BUT SHIT, WE GAVE YOU A WRENCH, SO BE COOL.

Jesus already gave me two burrito forks. One at the end of each arm. They’re called fucking HANDS.

A fork. My god. I haven’t cried since I was six, but I’m fucking sobbing now.

People eat burritos with forks?

God is sorry he made us.

(Source)