BELL + ADLER

#I think it is completely safe to say that they MIGHT be fucking #but holy sh*t, what an analysis #I love your brain, OP

Frank Woods and Russell Adler

Long ass post of me talking about the relationship between these two

So I didn't really pay much heed to their relationship until now; it just felt like two characters that were given a few connections here and there to fit Adler into the Black Ops universe.

But the more I looked into them, I find a lot more going on between them—enough for me to believe that aside from Mason, Adler might be the closest person Woods has in his life.

So how did it start?

We learn that Woods knew Adler since Vietnam (presumably during MACV-SOG operations, which both Woods and Adler headed). Their relationship isn't exactly highlighted in Cold War, but there's a lot of subtle yet notable interactions between the two:

This little bit brings me so much joy

[Credit to @flyingraijinn]

In the first cinematic, where Russell gets questioned by the officials if his plan was necessary and he responds that they don't have to listen to him—guess who's the first to jump to his defense?

Though this one's subtle, I find it important. Adler keeps Bell within his or Park's sights almost at all times, but the one op where they can't, who does he trust to go with Bell?

Though I doubt Woods knew about Bell, I feel Adler trusted him enough to handle them should they go berserk.

Right after, when the jig is up about the greenlight nukes and Hudson spins the blame on Adler for not apprehending Perseus before, Woods doesn't even need to be told to square up and beat this bitch up a second time

❌️ Woods was stopped by Adler ✅️ Woods let Adler stop him

The last bit, even though it's not canon, I wanted to call attention to

[Skip to 2:46]

It's them! They fucking lied to us! That true, Bell?

Though Adler was already suspicious, its Frank's words that prompted him to finally question them. Maybe I'm reading into it too much, but it seems like it was Woods that made Adler pause and question if, just maybe, he'd failed.

You wanna load up the body? Fuck if I care. Leave it for Perseus to find.

Even after the main game, when Adler is captured, of course he's the first to go look for him

And the one to find him

Even in the field when Adler's on an op, he's in the background keeping an eye on him

And goes back to Hudson to report on him when he goes dark

Now, onto BO6, where their relationship is pulled into focus:

First, we have the starting piece that sets BO6 in motion

Woods doesn't take shit talk pt.2

Yes indeed that is Frank Woods defending a wanted fugitive that is, as far as they're concerned, responsible for his state, even as pos Livingstone is actively grilling them.

Then this <3

If I'm not wrong, this is the first time we see Adler genuinely not be an asshole

And then the second time

The fact that he'd let Woods despise him just to keep him safe is 🥹

And a third time, when he rushes to his aid despite the burning house around him

Now, how is this possible? Why are they so close? In fact, you'd think Woods would hate Adler the same way he hates Hudson—the authority, the methodical nature, the secrecy—you'd think it was a no brainer. And so did I, for a long time.

So it surprised me when I heard Woods speak so highly of Adler, not even having the slightest of doubts against him:

[Skip to 1:40]

Adler? Turn against his brothers for cash? Are you kidding me? Those threads he loves, they ain't cheap now. Listen, I know he can be a goddamn psychopath, I get it. But he's on our side. He's just got his own way of doin' things.

And even when Harrow was interrogated and she told the truth about her parents, Woods vehemently refused to believe her. Even as far as questioning the victim's own memory and calling her parents traitors.

So why does he place this insane amount of trust in Adler?

Well, he gives us—Case—the answer.

I've known Adler since 'Nam. Give it twenty years, he'll grow on you.

Russell fought with him in Vietnam.

No shit, yeah. But remember how tight knit Woods was to his fellow soldiers. He even cried when the young recruit died in the first game.

So of course, fighting alongside Adler in a hellhole would've brought them closer together.

You keep believin' in the ones who got your back, go to battle for you. Adler was one of those.

Of course Adler had Woods' back; it's Vietnam, you're not surviving without having your team's back. It's not a stretch to say they went through life and death moments that they survived solely because of each other.

But another large part of why I believe Woods respects Adler is because he's, surprisingly, a lot more similar to Woods than meets the eye.

Think back to Break on Through. All the memories that Adler has Bell relive. His memories. Who else but him could describe such scenes in detail? He was the one that survived the helicopter crashing into the trees. He was the one that treaded through trenches in the night dodging a field of VC. He was the one that took out practically invisible snipers gunning for him from the trees. He was the one that cleared a village of the convoy and defended American troops under fire. He's the soldier that survived all that.

He's a killer; a monster, make no mistake. A monster that wasn't always assigned behind a desk holding the title of an officer—hidden behind a mask of nonchalance and charm. And Woods knows that monster. Woods respects that monster.

Adler's persona is ultimately an act. He appears uncaring and practical, but his true nature always slips through. He doesn't get along with Hudson, nor with Park's pragmatic nature. He makes split second decisions not on logic, but his instincts—hell, sometimes even his wishes. He gets vicious, loses his cool, and is unrelenting in his goals, refusing to be deemed some washed up old man. That's the true Adler peeking through—forever embedded yet somehow hidden in the lines stretching across his face, only ever showing its ugly head when he's pushed to the limit.

Who else would know it better than Woods, from a place where you survive by being nothing but vicious?

As for Adler, he too tells Case why he holds Woods close when he seems to do so for very few:

He's loyal.

Russell values loyalty: when he leads people into the eye of the storm, he needs loyal men following him without question. It's why he gave Belikov no choice but to get him the keycard, expected Sims and Park to fall in line and help his ass, made sure Bell obeyed him like a dog; it's why he even orders Case around like one (more on that later). He's a natural born leader that needs people with him and all the decisions he makes, questionable as they are.

And when he's taken to playing the villain with such commitment, to still have a friend that believes in him and his choices—a close comrade he's known from his oldest and darkest days on the job? He'll allow him into his heart, if even just a little.

That or theyre fucking idk

CoD/Military Writing Reference Masterlist

Here is a compilation of information (with references/links/citations) that I think the CoD fandom and fic writers in particular might find useful:

British Army:

Here is a list of ranks and abbreviations (with appropriate capitalization) (for anyone with the shinigami extension, sorry, it's the BBC)

Here is a list of the equivalent ranks of the British services and US Air Force (for some reason not the US Army or US Navy. Don’t ask me why lmao).

Here and here are some posts about the ranks in the 141 and general attitudes that they would hold for each other (and how others would see them)

Here is a detailed breakdown of the British Army organization (with average numbers and who is in charge of who).

Here is the wiki page for British Army uniforms (literally good luck, I’ve spent hours trying to figure out when soldiers wear what). As far as I can tell, the 141 would wear the No. 8 Combat Dress 90% of the time with the SAS beige beret. For formal events, they would wear the No. 2 Service Dress with berets instead of peaked forage caps. Interestingly, the Royal Regiment of Scotland can wear their No. 2 Service Dress with kilts (which I know Johnny would be livid about because he can’t). Super formal occasions are marked by the No. 1 Temperate Ceremonial, or “dress blues”.

Commissioned ranks are Second Lieutenant and above. These are members who hold positions of authority granted by formal documents of appointment signed by the monarch. In the US (which I am assuming is the same or similar in the UK), a commissioned officer has gone through officer training, which usually requires a university degree or a military equivalent.

Warrant Officers (WO) and Non-Commissioned Officers (NCO) are included in the enlisted ranks. They are members of the enlisted ranks who hold positions of authority. WOs are granted authority through a warrant instead of a commission and must be promoted from an NCO rank. NCOs are Lance Corporals to Staff Sergeants.

The only enlisted rank is Private. These are members who have enlisted and have gone through basic training in order to be counted against the Army’s trained strength.

Sergeants (Gaz and Soap) are among the highest-ranked NCOs and therefore have a lot of practical experience (more, sometimes, than commissioned officers). They have climbed through the ranks from Private all the way to the top of the enlisted ladder. Commissioned officers, on the other hand, have the option to skip the enlisted ladder altogether and jump straight to Second Lieutenant (assuming that they are entering the army with a university degree). However, it is canon that both Ghost and Price were promoted from enlisted ranks. Nevertheless, the NCO/CO divide would be stark; Price and Ghost both have pieces of paper signed by the Royal Crown that give them authority while Gaz and Soap don’t. That being said, Gaz and Soap are incredibly high ranking enlisted while Ghost and Price are (relatively) low ranking officers. While they have less authority, they have similar levels of responsibility and leadership.

Comm discipline is incredibly important in the military. Communication must be clear, concise, and (most importantly) unambiguous. There are many, many commands that can be given over the radio and some of them aren't as self-explanatory as they may seem. Here are some of the basics, lingo, etiquette, and FAQs about military radio communications.

SAS:

The SAS is nicknamed "The Regiment", its motto is "Who Dares Wins", and its color is pompadour blue. Contrary to popular belief, the dagger on the badge is wreathed in flame, not wings.

"The SAS is the mirror in which other special forces reflect." The SAS is the most elite special forces regiment in the world and they all know it. They take their jobs incredibly seriously and are held to a ridiculously high standard, both by their superior officers and by themselves. The 141, as a specialized task force, would take both their training and their commitment to their job to the extreme. The SAS has a fierce reputation of being the blueprints upon which every other special forces regiment was founded, and every single one of them takes an incredible amount of pride in that. It's easy to characterize Soap as a rookie, especially because of his reputation as the Perpetual FNG, but he alone could run circles around every single non-special forces soldier in the world (and a hell of a lot of the special forces soldiers, too).

The SAS consists of one regular and two reserve units. The 22 SAS (regular) is based in Stirling Lines, Credenhill, Herefordshire and has five squadrons (A, B, D, G, and Reserve) and a training wing. The 21 and 23 SAS are the two reserve regiments.

The UK Special Forces do not recruit from the general public. All current members of the armed forces can apply for Special Forces selection, but most have historically come from the Royal Marines or Parachute Regiment. In 2018, recruitment policy changed to allow women to join the SAS for the first time and in 2021, two women passed pre-selection, making them the first women eligible for the full course.

The SAS Selection Process is held twice a year (once in summer and once in winter) and is a three-phase process that has an 8-10% pass rate. Between 2014 and 2022, there were more deaths in training and exercises than in combat against active threats.

Phase 1 is an endurance test, known as “the hills” stage, where candidates undergo a series of timed hikes between checkpoints with increasingly heavy packs. This phase takes a total of three weeks and culminates in a 40-mile hike carrying 55lbs that must be completed in 24 hours. By the end of this phase, candidates must be able to run 4 miles in 30 minutes and swim 2 miles in 90 minutes.

Officers undergoing SAS selection have a week-long phase which assesses their ability to plan operations while fatigued and stressed (sucks for Price and Ghost; Gaz and Soap would've skipped this step).

Phase 2 is Jungle Training, which takes place in Belize, Brunei, or Malaysia. Candidates are taught navigation, patrol formation and movement, and jungle survival skills; they are put into teams of four, where they simulate living for weeks behind enemy lines, living completely off of rations without a lifeline back to base.

Phase 3 is E&E (Escape and Evasion) and TQ (Tactical Questioning)/RTI (Resistance to Interrogation). This is the final phase. Candidates are given brief instructions on appropriate techniques (likely from former POWs or special forces soldiers) and then are let loose in the countryside, where they must navigate to a series of checkpoints without being captured. After 3-7 days, whether they have been captured or not, they then report for TQ, which tests the candidates’ ability to resist interrogation. During TQ, candidates are only allowed to answer with “the big 4” (name, rank, serial number, and birthday) and all other questions must be answered with “I’m sorry but I cannot answer that question” while being subjected to what is essentially no-touch torture (listening to white noise for hours, standing in stress positions, being verbally berated/humiliated, etc) for 36 hours.

After all of that, candidates are accepted into the SAS ranks, but still go through continuation training, during which many SAS soldiers are RTU’d (returned to unit).

The youngest person to ever (IRL) pass SAS selection was Lofty Wiseman in 1959 at the age of 18. In order for Johnny to have beaten that record, he must have been 18 or younger when he passed selection. Given that the minimum age for enlistment in the UK armed forces is 16, this is entirely plausible.

The names of regular SAS members who have died on duty were inscribed on the regimental clock tower at Stirling Lines, which was rebuilt at the Credenhill barracks. Those whose names are inscribed are said by surviving members to have "failed to beat the clock". The base of the clock is also inscribed with a verse from The Golden Journey to Samarkand by James Elroy Flecker.

Military Life:

During basic training, soldiers live in gender-segregated accommodations in a dorm-style room. Once out of basic training, however, many barracks are individual rooms with en-suite bathrooms (big win for our Sergeants). At most, trained soldiers would live in 4-person rooms separated by gender. The fastest and most reliable way to get off-base housing is to get married, but many commissioned officers get a housing stipend in order to move out of the barracks, meaning that Ghost and Price would likely (if they so chose) have houses near Credenhill, while Gaz and Soap would have individual rooms in the barracks. While deployed, all bets are off.

Many tattoos and piercings are permitted by the British Army. Here are the official guidelines. In terms of hair style/length, the rules are few and far between and incredibly vague to boot. As far as I can tell, Soap’s mohawk, Price’s sideburns, and Ghost's... everything are vastly out of regulations, so I wouldn’t be too concerned about any of the 141 following personal appearance guidelines (Gaz is likely the only 141 member within regs which is a little shocking considering most military regulations are unfairly biased against people of color, but that's neither here nor there). If you’re interested, here is the 2021 version of the guidelines, though many of them have been updated since.

As of 2002, unmarried service members are permitted to invite their partners to stay overnight in single-room barracks (again, big win for our Sergeants). However, these guests must report to the duty and sign in, which is a hassle, so sneaking someone on base is still a plausible course of action.

Unfortunately, I can’t find any information on the use of alcohol/drugs in barracks, but I assume that the regulations are similar to those of the US armed forces, where alcohol is permitted to any off-duty member (any member who is on authorized leave) above the legal drinking age.

Humor: military humor has a pretty infamous reputation for being dark as fuck. Soldiers joke about a lot of stuff because they deal with a lot of stuff, and humans naturally cope through humor. There aren’t a lot of resources for this, because soldiers don’t like that kind of stuff reaching civilian ears (for pretty obvious reasons). Active special forces soldiers like the 141 would have especially fucked up senses of humor because they deal with especially fucked up scenarios. Don’t push yourself for the sake of realism, though; if you aren’t comfortable writing jokes about active hostage/bomb/terrorist situations, don’t write those jokes. However, if you think of a fantastically dark joke and want to include it, know that it would be perfectly in character (especially for Ghost) and true to real life. They absolutely would casually joke with each other about racism, homophobia, xenophobia, war crimes, torture, etc. The important part is that they all know that it’s always a joke; shared humor is one of the most common ways that soldiers bond with each other, and being able to take the piss with each other is key to unit cohesion. If you don’t like that or if that makes you uncomfortable, don’t write it!

Fraternization: In general, fraternization is strictly prohibited. It’s grounds for a reassignment at best and a court martial at worst. One or both parties may be dishonorably discharged. Realistically, any relationship between anyone in the 141 (with the exception of Soap and Gaz, who are of equal rank and therefore their relationship does not affect the chain of command, big win for SoapGaz shippers) would be strictly prohibited and treated as a criminal offense. It is up to you whether your characterization of the 141 members warrants any action upon the discovery of fraternization or if it would be ignored in favor of keeping the team together. An argument could be made either way, so it’s a judgment call.

Call Signs:

The IRL SAS does not use call signs; they are almost universally used for pilots across all military divisions, which means that regular soldiers, even those in Special Forces, don't get call signs. However, as the CoD universe evidently uses call signs, here are some things you should know:

No one really knows how call signs originated. Some say that they started as nicknames given to pilots in the early days of flight. Others say that they originated as a way for ground control to quickly and easily refer to pilots over the radio. In any case, call signs have cemented themselves firmly in aviation culture

Call signs are not supposed to be cool. Ghost in an anomaly. The vast majority of people are not given call signs like Maverick or Iceman. A call sign is supposed to be (playfully) teasing and embarrassing; it's what the military calls "humility culture". They are often a derivative of a last name, based on physical features or personality, or related to a mistake the soldier made early in their career.

A call sign, once given, is rarely changed. Call signs follow soldiers for the entirety of their careers and beyond, and it is not unusual for fellow soldiers to only know each other by their rank, call sign, and last name (some can go their entire careers without knowing each others first names; a call sign basically replaces a soldiers first name).

Call signs are voted on and chosen by the soldier's squadron; they have very little (if any) say in the process. The squadron's commanding officer has the ability to veto a proposed call sign and often will if it crosses any lines (racist, sexist, etc) or if it isn't funny enough.

Here is a forum of US Naval call signs and their stories. I highly recommend giving it a read, especially if you need name ideas or a good laugh

General Writing Reference:

Resource for describing physical things (settings, weather, colors, textures, shapes)

Sickness Descriptors

Keeping Tenses (one of the most common writing mistakes in fic writing; this blog has a lot of very informative writing tip posts!)

WordHippo (One of the best dictionary/thesaurus/rhyming dictionary websites I've found and unfailingly keep open while writing/editing)

Tumblr account dedicated to writing characters of color

Tumblr thread with resources/references for international clothes and other items

Tumblr post with links to building/architectural terms and references

Tumblr post with links to helpful writing websites/resources (reverse dictionary, translator, body language, etc)

Misc Helpful Links (Will be Updated):

https://www.eliteukforces.info/special-air-service/ (detailed information about the SAS, selection, training, operations, weaponry, skills, and roles)

https://www.nam.ac.uk/explore/british-army-ranks (British Army ranks in order with brief descriptions of roles/responsibilities)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_British_Army_installations (List of British Army bases and barracks, both in the UK and overseas)

https://www.quora.com/Does-the-British-Army-really-have-mixed-dorms-as-in-the-TV-show-Our-Girl (Quora forum detailing British military barrack living conditions)

https://taskandpurpose.com/news/military-pilots-call-signs/ (Blog post about aviator call signs and their use in military culture)

https://www.military.com/history/history-of-aviator-call-signs-and-how-pilots-get-their-new-name.html (Blog post about the history of aviator call signs in the military)

https://www.tumblr.com/sighmurderbot/735894836939472896/are-you-like-me-suddenly-obsessed-with-cod-and (Tumblr post - CoD mission generator)

https://www.army.mil/ranks/ (lots of very helpful information about US Army enlisted, warrant, and officer ranks as well as corps and division sizes/operations. Whoever designed this website needs a raise tbh)

If you found this useful, feel free to drop a like! I like knowing that my hard work is being used and appreciated!

I sincerely apologise 😢 (bonus points if Bell wasn't even Russian, just a individual of another nation who happened to be under Soviet rule and basically having to live with Soviet communist ideology and oppressed society, even though inside he knew that life could be better than government could offer, but he couldn't do anything about it, especially when he had a somewhat functioning family at home)

I know that bell was pretty much destined to an early death but that won't stop me from talking about them like a wife who just lost her husband in the war

I think about the Duga Ending a lot. Not necessarily the more violent one, where Bell tells their allies to head to Duga to set the trap. But the one where Bell chooses not to, says Duga anyways. With no plan.

I think about that action of saying Duga, leading Adler and the others astray—the completely wrong direction, saying nothing and giving nothing away as they sit with Adler in the passenger seat of his car. How Adler trusts Bell wholeheartedly with the answer of Duga. His dog wouldn’t lie. Why would they? They would never.

Bell, who reveals after Woods words and Adler’s coaxing of the truth—if they lied. How Bell just wanted to see their faces of frustration, of anger, of emotion, but they just wanted to see it from Adler. Bell, the epitome of petty revenge with this action—the chance to actually see the arrogant and normally stoic man break. Only to see nothing. No anger. No yelling. Adler who only has a frown and tone to match his disappointment.

Here is the person, the terrorist that led you astray and purposely caused the death of millions just for the chance to see Adler’s anger—only for him to feel disappointed. More how one would feel and look after seeing their pet pee the bed, destroy and tear off your favorite bed sheets—not at the genocide of millions.

I think about the Duga ending a lot. And how even at the end, Adler’s pride at Bell lowered significantly but not angry. How Bell’s petty revenge tasted bittersweet with blood forming at their chest from the shot, with Adler’s scarred frown looking down at them.

I think about how disappointed America’s Monster was at his precious dog that was always supposed to listen, but bit back and decided to die like this. No assault. Just wishing to see their master’s true face. Only to see that their master’s arrogance and pride was always there, Adler’s mistake. His cocky attitude bit back just like Bell did—roaring confidence that the tool he made and took out a piece of himself to do it would betray him like this.

I think about how could it be a betrayal when Bell wasn’t part of the team in the first place. “You’re still one of us, kid.”

I think about the Duga Ending, and all I see is America’s Monster being betrayed and Bell’s momentary confusion how the monster was disappointed more than angry at their gall.

I think. And I think.

And then I think of Solovetsky. I compare.

And all I can see is their relationship always ends in a betrayal in some way or another. The taste in both their mouths being bittersweet, either with blood or just as a natural after taste of killing a piece of your mind or the one who created your mind.

I think about the Duga Ending a lot.

what’s in a name?

alluded to it in my last adlerbell rot post but i have such a complex over adler naming bell and i find it difficult to put into words. so here’s a very lengthy attempt:

most of the symbolism behind bell’s name is obvious and doesn’t need much stating: it’s indicative of adler’s ownership of bell, literally naming them like a pet, his property. obvious also that a bell was used in their conditioning; as well as a reference to the study of classical conditioning itself by pavlov, who similarly used a bell to condition behavioural responses in the test subject: a dog (hence the myriad dog imagery/symbolism in adlerbell fics… it’s like crack to me)

but the obvious aside it always hits me deepest as part of the “it wasn’t personal” narrative. it’s insanely personal- it’s intimate. i think i put adlerbell on a little bit of a pedestal to view everything about them through a vaguely romanticised lens, but to me it really is- in the most horrifically tragic and sickening way- romantic.

like, you’re bell, right? you trust this man, bell. he is your friend. you witnessed some of the worst atrocities of mankind and survived hell with him and he is your friend. he calls your name through the smoke and gunfire, as a bullet zips past your ear you hear it amidst the splitting of shrapnel, the tearing of screams silenced for but a moment. each time he extends his arm to pick you up, he calls you, bell. every time he directs you to a point of interest, he beckons you, bell. when he nudges you out of your cot in camp haskins, it’s your name he laughs, bell. when he praises you, and smiles at you in that wry, almost boyish way, and tells you how good of a job you’ve done, how we couldn’t have done it without you, how they should be thanking you- it’s your name, bookended, every time, a fondness notched into the welding that stamps you both together inseparably. bell. every single association you have to your name is whenever he pulls you close, helps you, praises you, saves you. your name alone a positive association- to the respect and affection he has for you. bell.

and it’s to the point. adler says their name at any given moment he can. he says it so often it’s infuriating. like deadass take a shot every time. it’s practically a trope in any fic featuring the two, that he utters their name every other line of dialogue. it’s the first thing he says to them at the start of the game- walking into the safehouse at west berlin- not a word, but their name. sure, obviously isn’t the first time he’s spoken to bell, knowing what came before- but it’s presumably bell’s first time walking around freely since mk ultra. that coupled with the trigger phrase must make for a very pliant response- when he says their name, it’s the same man, as far as bell knows, who fought with them back to back in vietnam. something thicker even than blood.

and i reckon adler likes it. mk ultra was a joint effort but bell’s past is based on his choosing, his memories. by no means did he have to pick their name, but he did. he chose to name the thing he’s helped create. it’s almost sick that the ‘closeness’ bell feels towards adler is really only partially synthetic- over a span of months adler really was there, every day, talking for hours and conditioning them over and over and over again. of course he’d name them. something something don’t name an animal you don’t want to get attached to. but it’s his animal. it’s his dog. they’re his bell.

and there’s something just so sickening and so adler that he could have named them anything else in the world- maybe something inconspicuous and plain, like john or jane; something sweet, something that reminds him of someone else, a song he likes, a nickname, an insult, or even something downright cruel. but i don’t think anything could be more cruel and tragically appropriate than calling them by the name of the instrument you used to condition them. to call them by the tool you used to enslave their mind. the very thing that reset their entire being to zero. a bell. not just their name- but the sound, ever ringing, in the back of their mind. the thing that echoes in the empty inside them, to remind them why it’s empty in the first place, its sole purpose to keep them chained in their loyalty to adler. bell.

like i said, i do really think adler likes it. for whatever reason. ownership, spite, just a way to rub salt in the wound any chance he gets, a small victory only he gets to revel in, right in their face. but bell is his. bell belongs to him. when he says their name, it’s the one he chose. time and patience came alongside that bell that rang perpetual in that lab. he’s said that name as many times as he rang it. maybe a part of adler’s as attached to that instrument as much as he is the person he named after it. i’m sure adler hears it chiming in the recesses of his own mind more than he’d care to admit. he’d been around to hear it as long as bell has, hadn’t he? maybe part of him has grown conditioned in his attachment to that instrument too.

but there must be a semblance of pride when he says it. really, to be able to beckon your dog by the name you chose for it. i wonder if a swell of maddened joy tugs at his blackened heart whenever he sees bell’s head perk up at the sound of their name, the one he chose, as implicit and unthinking, automatic, as though it truly were their own. since birth.

and like it couldn’t be enough that he took everything from them. and most importantly that he took them away from perseus- that he stole perseus’ most precious comrade right out from under him, and turned them to an unflinching loyal pup for himself. this isn’t about you, this isn’t about me, this is about millions of other fucking people. is it? when you croon and tut their name between every sentence, are you sure you don’t just like the satisfaction of saying it, knowing how deeply it disarms them? knowing how they are wholly yours, to their very core? to the name they introduce themselves as? to the one they flinch and come running whenever you say it?

ugh. it’s just- a name is so integral to one’s identity. it shapes their life. their personhood. and he didn’t just erase theirs, but he gave them a new one and made sure they’d like it. a conditioned response of pleasure whenever he’d say it. isn’t that intimate?

he took everything. every single shred of who they were. that not even their name is their own. that even their name, their name, belongs entirely to him.

this didn’t make sense, i wrote this mostly for myself, congrats if u read this far. i just wanted to have every single thought and feeling i had about it jotted in one place and file it away ajshsjksjsjsjs

I'm so in love with Netflix's Castlevania 😔🤍

thinking about love as the ultimate transformative power in castlevania... richter's love giving strength to annette when she's practically dying from sekhmet's possession, juste and tera's care bringing maria back from the darkness, lisa showing dracula that he can be loved and good, alucard's love for each generation of belmont making him come back not to fight evil but simply to teach them how to fish despite knowing that he'll have to watch them die, olrox coming back to fight erzsebet out of love for mizrak, alucard saying that dracula still had goodness in him at the end precisely because his last action on earth was loving lisa's last gift to him, their son,... the only characters that are truly evil being the ones like Carmilla, the Abbott in nocturne or drolta who turn acts of devotion, love and trust into destruction and violence.... going to kill myself

Alex Mason in Cuba (Call of Duty: Cold War 2020)

Duga ending Bell with Stockholm syndrome? Of course!

Somehow I imagine what if Felix experienced the state violence as he have done to countless people, just as a punishment, however, I don't think this won't be a proper punishment for him.

Because it is just a cycle of state violence, not breaking it.

I think it'd be proper to him to be stoned by people who were victims, or just a randos passing by. He should be punished by people and democracy, not the state violence nor it's absurdity.

"The people" should punish him.

furthermore, the worst punishment he've got is the sin itself.

Even though he ran away from it, even though he regret it, the fact that he committed state violence won't change forever. It polluted his soul, and let his heart bleed forever

Okay so my earlier stated thoughts on Hudson and him absolutely hating MKUltra, but still following orders because ya know he has to at the end of the day, were confirmed at least to me. I'm replaying it on Realism and I just processed a quote.

"Once President Reagan greenlit Adler's Operations- he fell in line like a good little American Patriot" - Park (talking about Hudson)

If that doesn't tell us that Hudson tried to fight MKUltra, I don't know what would. Like c'mon. Its like very subtly referencing that because come on all the other missions and shit, Hudson would not have fought. He would've just gone with it, but MKUltra he definitely would've had problems with because what he saw Mason go through.

I will defend Hudson to my grave fr fr. Like I used to hate him but I found out about his family and found out what happened in bo1 and bo2 (I haven't played them but I have a pretty good understanding of them) and I'm a Hudson defender now. Also I call him Mr. Worldwide cause he looks like a white Pitbull.

Edit: So this quote is actually in reference to comingling with other agencies, but there could be reason to believe that he knew before hand and didn't want to comingle with MI6 for this mission because of MKUltra. Like he would have to know beforehand. Also he doesn't seem like the type to cause any resistance that could lead to hindrances to the mission itself. He's very professional and doesn't seem like the type to complain about other agencies. He might not like it, but I don't think he'd be the type to make it widely known. Like obviously his close friends would know but not people for said other agencies. It could be a bit of both, but he definitely knew what bringing in Park meant in regards to this specific mission.