So.

So.

As you might imagine, my inboxes have been flooded over the last few days.  My fic represents, for a lot of people, either their start in Avengers fandom, or the safe place they retreat to when the angst and infighting and shipwars got too intense.  Which I get, and I appreciate, and I’m so glad if my old fics can give people a little happiness, even after all this time.

But there’s a thread I keep picking up in comments, that kind of worries me.

That things that happened in the MCU have taken the fandom away from them.  That the way things happened in Endgame have left people distraught, or angry, or just grieving.  And a lot of people have worried that they’ve ‘lost’ these characters.

And look.

Look.

I say this as a fandom old.  I say this as someone who reads comics.  Who came from the Trek fandom.  Who’s lived through bad movie adaptations and subpar ghostwriters and writing staff changes that have destroyed tv shows before they had a chance to really fly.

Don’t let canon take anything away from you.

You can be disappointed in a thing.  You can have your heart broken by a writer.  You can hope against hope that something that means the world to you will be ‘true,’ but don’t let a corporation take your heroes away from you.

Every one of us has to pick and choose what we keep and what we leave behind.  But every single version of Captain America has been fanfiction since Jack Kirby and Joe Simon put their pens down.  He’s owned by a corporation, and they can decide what’s on screen, who gets paid to write him, who gets the big platform.  They get to decide canon.

But canon is meaningless.

Canon is a way to win an argument in a bar or in a schoolyard.  It’s knowing publication dates and issue numbers and who wrote what arc and when the reboots happened.  It exists.

But when I think of Hawkeye, canon is only part of the picture.  I do think of Matt Fraction’s run on the comics.  I do think of those early years, sneaking my brother’s issues of West Coast Avengers.  I think of the weird, wild, off beat run of Secret Avengers.  But I also think of @dr-kara’s art of him.  I think of fanfic long since deleted, that introduced me to the fandom tropes of Clint living in the vents.  I think of the Tumblr posts, diving deep into the psychology of trauma, into his place as the most human and the most pointless of the original six, into a thousand stupid memes.  Caw-caw, motherfucker.  I think of the comments I got, telling me he was OOC.  I think of the Hawkeye cosplayers I’ve met, including the one guy who was in full gear at Star Wars Celebration in Florida.  I asked him why, and he shrugged and said, ‘Clint would’ve.’  I agree with him.  

I think of the first time a friend put a bow in my hands, and showed me how to shoot, wobbly and uneven, at a straw target all the way across the yard.

I think of the bruises that dotted my arms afterwards.

So canon can add new things.  Take bits away.  Make me think.  Make me hurt.

But nothing canon does will ever cause him to be different, not on any fundamental level.  Clint Barton started forming in my head when I was eight years old.  He belongs to Marvel, but the version I carry with me has a lot more sources than that.

Guys, this is a long way of saying: find your own version of the character.  Find what you need in a fandom.  And think of canon like that one fic that has a million kudos on AO3 and you just. Don’t.  Know.  Why.  That one fic, that everyone talks about, that you just can’t stand.

If canon doesn’t work for you, then discard it.  And move on.

But don’t let a corporation take a character you love away from you.

Don’t ever let that happen.

More Posts from Ania-swissweet and Others

8 years ago

Be My Date

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader 

Author’s Note: This idea literally came to mind after seeing these gifs of Seb in “Ricki and the Flash” Hope you like it!

image

It was another regular day for you in New York, singing loudly to yourself in the kitchen. You had your music blasting while you were washing dishes, swaying your hips to the beat of the song. You loved moments like this.

Until your door knocked, ruining the moment for you. You groaned and paused your music, making your way to the door to see who it was.

It was no other than your best friend, Bucky Barnes. What could he possibly need? He smiled brightly and greeted you with a hug.

“Uh, hey Bucky. I wasn’t expecting you to come over today.”

“Oh right, sorry I didn’t call you.”

You laughed and welcomed him into your apartment, closing the door from behind as he walked in. The both of you sat down on the couch in your living room.

“So.” You trailed off. “What’s up, Bucky?”

He smiled nervously at you, “I need your help on something.“ 

Keep reading

8 years ago

Careful - Tony Stark x (f)Reader

Careful - Tony Stark X (f)Reader

Words: 1241 Pairing: Tony Stark x (f)Reader Featuring: Wanda Maximoff, Vision, Natasha Romanoff Warnings: none? Requested by @floralpeaceofmind “Can you please write sad/fluffy imagine with Tony Stark where y/n is pregnant but didn’t tell Tony so she can fight with them and gets hurt? I’ll let the end to your imagination. Thank you:)” Author’s Note: flufffffff yay! Is it just me, or has Tumblr seemed really dead lately? The imagine tags and notes are really weird, people I usually see get a ton of notes only a few minutes after they post are barely getting any after an hour, it’s weird. Oh well! Here’s a Tony imagine!

Masterlist.

You scrolled through the photos on your phone, smiling at every one you came across, reminding you of the good times.

Wanda and you just liked to do this when you two hung out. This time it was your turn, and the topic was your boyfriend. It made you happy, yet sad. Afraid that after a few days, it could all potentially be ending.

“First date.” You told her as you came across one of the first photos you had of Tony.

“Romantic or not?” She asked.

“It was, really awkward.” You laughed, remembering the night. Tony had asked you out twice before. The first time, you turned him down because you knew how much of a playboy he was. Second time, you were afraid that the only reason he was talking to you was because he knew of what you could do and only wanted to recruit you. (Plot twist, he didn’t even know you had your power. He just really liked you.) Third time, you said yes, just to give him a shot. And after the awkwardness left, you two hit it off. And have been going strong for two years.

“What about this one?” Wanda picked another photo.

“It was my birthday.” You said. “He tried to embarrass me as much as he could, it was sweet, yet I was suffering.” You said.

“You guys have a good relationship. What is this?”

“This is when we worked on the renovated Stark Tower.” You explained. “We felt that we needed to capture the moment.” You said, talking about a photo a sneaky AI took of you guys kissing in front of fireworks. It’s one of your favorites.

“Give me a minute.” Wanda stood up and smiled, heading to the bathroom. Man, you had missed these days, especially now all that you do is worry.

“Um,” Wanda said as she walked out a minute later. “I know this is not not mine and Natasha cannot possibly have this happen…” Wanda held up a pregnancy test and you swore at yourself.

Keep reading

8 years ago

Lucky - Bucky Barnes

Title: Lucky Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader Summary: The reader puts her life in danger on a mission with the rest of the Avengers and Bucky gets worried. Words: 1,016 Warnings: Mentions of taking a character hostage, injured character, mentions of death Requested by: Anonymous

Keep reading

8 years ago

Drunk in Love - Steve Rogers

image

Hello, I saw bday anons requested their stuff, so I thought I’d also try :) A Steve imagine where Nat drags you to Tony’s Party cause she knows you have a crush on Cap. Then you see him talking to some woman and you decide to get drunk. Later at night you’re pretty drunk but Steve is with you, helping you and trying to take care of you (he also has a crush on you). Then he carries you to his Apartment in his bed & you blurt out your Feelings for him. In the morning he tells you he feels the same

(Masterlist)

You were wondering why the hell you had agreed to go to that party or why you had allowed Natasha to get you dressed that way. You didn’t feel sexy that moment, not while you were watching Steve flirt with a blonde woman on the other side of the room. Fuck it your crush on Captain America. Fuck it Natasha and her habit of thinking she knew everything. Fuck it being sober and suffering for someone who didn’t see you with the same eyes. You would drink until you wake up the next day in Natasha’s sofa.

“Give me that bottle of tequila, please.” You tapped on the bar counter and pointed to the bottle you wanted, the bartender looked confused but shrugging he gave you the tequila without question “Thank you.”

You passed the sofa where Natasha and the rest of the Avengers were, she looked at you with a raised eyebrow and you just nodded. Ignoring the eyes of everyone who knew you and were surprised to see you with a closed bottle in hand passing through the party going to the emergency exit. You’d get drunk, but no one needed to see it and you knew very well that your redheaded friend would go after you as soon as the party was over. Going down the stairs, you found yourself on the side of the facility which had a huge garden, you sat on a bench and opened the bottle. Looking at the starry sky and the party music playing in the distance, you began to drink alone the strong net of tequila, a stupid attempt to forget for a while Steve Rogers.

“Where are you, (Y / N)?” was the first thing that Natasha spoke when you finally managed to answer the call, you giggled trying to get up but fell against the bench, sitting.

“In the garden!” you crooned groggy, you didn’t know how much time had passed, you pouted “Nat, the tequila is over!”

“Great, Clint’s going to get you there, sweetie” and then Natasha ended the call.

Snorting impatient, you stuck the phone in your small bag and laid on the bench, ignoring the fact that you werew wearing a dress. You stared at the sky in silence, already feeling a slight drowsiness when finally heard hurried footsteps coming toward you.

“You’re late! I hope you brought the tequila!” you muttered sly, without getting up, but then who stopped beside you leaned his face over you, and was not who you expected “Steve? What are you doing here? Where’s my tequila?”

“Hello, shorty, I came to get you.” the super soldier smiled warmly, offering a hand to help you up, you accepted without thinking twice and rose from the seat quickly, but soon felt all run toward the ground “Wow, I think someone can’t walk.”

“I can, just give me a minute!” you squealed while being caught in Steve’s arms, he was holding you as if you weighed nothing.

“Shh, don’t worry, okay?”

Steve quietly walked the flights of stairs to reach the rooms floor, going toward his own room. He felt his heart beating fast and eager as he opened the door with you still in his arms, almost asleep. He put you in bed with care before closing the door, turning to take off your shoes and then cover you with the sheets.

“I love you, Steve. I know this is just a dream, but I love you.” you whispered sleepily, making Steve stop what he was doing and look at you with wide eyes.

"I love you too, (Y / N).” he muttered after a few seconds, taking a hand to your face to caress your cheek.

The super soldier came around the bed, removing his shoes and opening some buttons of his shirt before lie down in the empty side of the mattress. He smiled sheepishly, not believing what was happening that night. Steve was fond of you for months and know that he knew that you felt the same, it was a sweet relief. Without contain himself, Steve turned in your direction, pulling you gently and snuggling you against his body protectively. Surely the first thing he would do in the morning would to tell you more appropriately the feelings he had for you. And give you the lovely kiss he had imagined for so long.

8 years ago
I Am In Krakow, Poland…look What I Have Found! I Had No Idea!

I am in Krakow, Poland…look what I have found! I had no idea!

6 years ago
Happy Birthday To Our Space Princess On What Would’ve Been Her 62nd Birthday. We Miss And Love You
Happy Birthday To Our Space Princess On What Would’ve Been Her 62nd Birthday. We Miss And Love You
Happy Birthday To Our Space Princess On What Would’ve Been Her 62nd Birthday. We Miss And Love You
Happy Birthday To Our Space Princess On What Would’ve Been Her 62nd Birthday. We Miss And Love You
Happy Birthday To Our Space Princess On What Would’ve Been Her 62nd Birthday. We Miss And Love You
Happy Birthday To Our Space Princess On What Would’ve Been Her 62nd Birthday. We Miss And Love You
Happy Birthday To Our Space Princess On What Would’ve Been Her 62nd Birthday. We Miss And Love You
Happy Birthday To Our Space Princess On What Would’ve Been Her 62nd Birthday. We Miss And Love You
Happy Birthday To Our Space Princess On What Would’ve Been Her 62nd Birthday. We Miss And Love You

Happy Birthday to our space princess on what would’ve been her 62nd birthday. We miss and love you so much Carrie Frances Fisher.

4 months ago

Anything for You

pairing: Azriel x Reader

content warnings: descriptions of menstrual cycles and menstrual blood, discussion of the loss of a parent

word count: 5.2k

synopsis: Fae menstrual cycles are notoriously terrible to endure, but yours seem to be especially torturous. Mor normally helps you through your cycles, but when yours comes early and Mor is away, a certain Shadowsinger steps in to help.

my masterlist

~ ~ ~

You were convinced your cycle was a curse that spawned from the depths of hell. Every fae female endured painful and taxing cycles, but yours was vicious. It had been since the very first time you bled, and every cycle since for the last 20 years was laced with the same crippling agony. The same pain that had you heaving into your toilet now. 

You were a healer, for Mother’s sake, and even you could not find a remedy to alleviate the pain that accompanied fae cycles. When you were young, your mother would do her best to soothe you. She would create potent sleep tonics to lull you to sleep through the pain, but even those would last only a few hours before the pain shredded through the momentary peace. She never told you what she put in those tonics, and she never gave them to patients, and you had not yet been able to replicate it since she passed. 

When she passed five years ago, the pain of your grief only compounded with the pain of suffering through your cycle for the first time alone. The agony was unbearable, and it was the first and only time you had passed out from the pain. Before you had to suffer through another dreadful cycle on your own, you blessedly met the Inner Circle of the Night Court.

~ Five Years Ago ~

The drink you had been nursing for the last hour swirled around in the bottom of the crystal glass. You frowned at the dark liquid, having lost your taste for it tonight. You weren’t much of a drinker anyway, but tonight was your mother’s birthday, and Rita had begged you to stop by tonight to pour you a drink in honor of her beloved friend.

You were grateful for Rita. You knew she kept tabs on you, if her weekly visits to your tonic shop down the street were any indication, and you appreciated her worrying about you. It was nice to know that at least one person still did. Although, you couldn’t bring yourself to down the rest of the free drink. You were sandwiched between two drunk males at the bar, one nearly passed out and the other contributing to the deafening chatter of the crowded room. 

You were just about to stand up and leave when the splintering of wood and a heavy thud shook the room. You followed the gazes of everyone else to where two winged males were hefting another male up from the floor covered in the wood shards from a table.

You couldn’t make out what they were saying to the sneering male over the murmur of the bar, but it was clear he was belligerently drunk. You noticed a blonde female standing nearby, speaking softly to a visibly terrified female. It didn’t take a genius to connect the dots. Your gaze then snapped back to the two winged males, and the glowing red and blue siphons adorning their wrists made their identities suddenly dawn on you. Your eyes snagged on the blood smeared across the red siphoned one’s wing, and they widened at the sight of a large slice through the delicate membrane.

The one with blue siphons and shadows swirling around him yanked the snarling male toward him, and the two of them suddenly disappeared. The injured male and female, who you now recognized as the Night Court’s general and the Morrigan, ignored the gazes of the bar as they made their way to the back exit. You watched Rita intercept them to share a few quick words, and then they were gone.

You didn’t know what compelled you to follow them out the back door just a minute later. Perhaps it was because you were innately nosey, or maybe it was the healer instinct in you pushing you to help someone in pain. It was likely the desire to dull the throbbing pain of missing your Mother by involving yourself in a potentially precarious situation.

The wooden door to the bar shut slowly behind you as the cool night air kissed your warm skin. You took in a small breath, savoring the freedom of the fresh air, before fairly loud voices at the end of the alley pulled your attention.

Morrigan and the general were standing together, seemingly arguing. “He was clearly violating her!” the male yelled.

“I know that, Cassian!” the female hissed. “I’m not saying you shouldn’t have done anything. I’m saying you should have deescalated the situation before he stabbed you and you threw him through a damn table!”

“I’m sorry!” He threw his hands up. He looked like he might have said more, but suddenly the second winged male, the Shadowsinger, appeared next to them from the shadows.

A beat of silence passed before the returned male said, “I assume she’s reaming you for acting like an impulsive brute?”

Wasn’t he right by the general’s side when that male was kicked through the table? You thought it was strange how casual the three of them were interacting with each other, even if they were arguing.

“Fuck you, Az,” the general grumbled.

The shadowsinger asked, his voice softer, “Are you alright?”

“No, he’s not alright,” Morrigan cut in, waving her hand toward his wing. “His wing has a damn gash in the middle of it.”

The general ran a hand through his hair and sighed, “We’re going to have to call Madja.”

“Are you happy now, Cas? Your bar fight–”

“Mor,” the shadowsinger cut her off quietly, and she quickly halted her verbal lashing.

A larged winged body was suddenly a foot away from you, and you yelped at the sudden intimidating presence. “Who are you?” he asked, his voice cold and hard.

You swallowed, mouth suddenly dry. “I–I’m Y/N. I don’t mean any harm. I followed you out here.” You glanced toward the two still at the end of the alley, now staring at you, as you spoke quickly to try to calm the menacing male in front of you. “I followed you out here to see if you needed any help. I’m a healer, and I saw your wing, but then when I came out here you were arguing and I–I froze.”

The shadowsinger seemed to believe you, taking a step back from your tense and wide-eyed form before dismissing you, “We don’t need your assistance.”

You bit your lip and glanced at the wounded male down the alley, agony slowly creeping through his resolve held up by the adrenaline coursing through him. “I know Illyrian wings are…delicate,” you swallowed. “But really, I can help. My mother–she was Illyrian.”

The shadowsinger glowered at you. “We would know if there was an Illyrian in Velaris.”

You shook your head slightly, holding his inscrutable stare. “Her wings were clipped,” you said softly, before adding, “if you can call it that. She was a teenager. Some boys in her camp ambushed her, took her wings.” You looked at him earnestly. “I don’t know how she made it to Velaris. She never told me. But she was a healer, and she taught me about caring for Illyrian wings. She always said it was important to be familiar with my,” you hesitated, glancing between the two full-blooded Illyrian males, “my culture.”

“Az,” Morrigan called, snapping his attention to where she stood with her arm now around the general’s middle. “I don’t know if we can wait on Madja. His wing, it’s already healing.”

His face was stoic when he turned back to you, but his eyes held a sense of urgency beneath his cool assessing gaze. “You know how to properly heal him?”

You nodded.

With a slight twitch of his jaw, he nodded toward the general. “Then help him.” Then, as an afterthought, “Please.”

You nodded again, gathering your remaining courage to stand up straight. “Take him to my shop. It’s just a few buildings down.”

~ Present ~

Since that night, the Inner Circle started to visit you for various tonics and treatments. Madja had vouched for you, telling them that many of the tonics she used in her clinic came from your store. You bonded quickly with the group, and even became friendly with Amren when she decided to visit your shop herself. Eventually, they invited you into their fold, hoping you could use the Court’s resources to further your tonic development and research.

You moved into the House of Wind. Cas, Az, Mor, and even Amren became your new family. Not long after you moved in, Mor had found you writhing in bed on the morning of your cycle, and for every one since then she was there to help you through it. Today, though, Mor was away in the Winter Court, and it looked like you would have to fend for yourself this time.

Your cycle was early. You tracked it religiously, given its severity, and you knew you had to prepare for it to take you down for at least a couple of days. You were always prepared. This time, though, with it nearly three weeks ahead of schedule, you had nothing you needed to get through this. No linens, no pain relief tonics, no sleep tonics (not that they did much), nothing. Worse yet, you were supposed to meet with Feyre today for lunch.

You loved your High Lady, but you still feared upsetting her, or worse yet, upsetting the High Lord by proxy. Rhys had been nothing but kind and welcoming to you since he returned to Velaris. Feyre, of course, knew no different. However, you were still hyper aware of how you had altered the tight dynamic Rhys expected to return to, and you were terrified of disappointing him or making him regret keeping you within his fold. The last thing you needed was to stand your friend, your High Lady, his mate up for lunch.

The mere thought of the pastries served at the patisserie you were meant to be at in an hour sent you hurdling over the toilet basin again, heaving as pain radiated from your abdomen. Breathing heavily, your vision swam as a ripple of pain so intense spread through you that you swore you felt it in your teeth. You slowly laid your body down on the cool tile, curling up in a ball. Tears leaked from your eyes as your vision grew hazier until eventually they closed on their own accord, darkness engulfing you.

~

“Y/N,” a deep voice drawled. The voice was muffled, and you were confused where it was coming from. “Y/N,” the voice said again, this time much clearer, and you felt heat seeping into your skin. “Please, wake up!”

Brightness flooded your vision and you took in a small gasp as you reoriented to your surroundings. You squinted at the figure above you as they muttered, “Thank the Mother.”

“Azriel?”

His thumb brushed your cheek. “Yeah. Yeah it’s me.”

You winced as pain sliced through your abdomen, rolling onto your back. Azriel shifted to give you space to do so, but your side brushed his knee he had on the ground.

“Hey,” Azriel said softly, his hand now on your clammy arm. An uncomfortable layer of sweat coated your skin that only added to your misery. “Did you hit your head?”

You furrowed your brow. “What? No.”

“Then why did you pass out on the bathroom floor?”

Mortification seeped through the daze that lingered. “I—” You swallowed and glanced down at your body, still clothed in only a nightgown. A bloody nightgown now, since you’ve been laying here for who knows how long without any linens. Your face flushed. “My cycle started,” you told him meekly. “The pain—it was too much, I guess.”

His face softened and he brushed a gentle hand over your head. “Let’s get you cleaned up.”

He reached to pick you up, but you jerked away, mortification flooding you. “No.”

He frowned, hurt flashing through his eyes. “What? Why?”

You shook your head, looking away. Tears stung your eyes. “I’m fine, Azriel.” You weakly pushed yourself up, bracing a hand on the toilet. You quickly hunched over as pain gripped you. “I’ll be fine.”

“You’re in pain,” he argued. “Let me help you.”

Your stomach twisted and a tear ran down your cheek. You weren’t sure if it was from the pain or the absolute humiliation you felt right now from Azriel seeing you like this.

“Hey,” he said softly, warmth suffusing his normally cool voice. He gently brushed away the tear rolling down your cheek. A shadow curled through your hair that was now damp at your nape. “Can I run you a bath?”

You gazed at the blood on your gown and cringed at the sight. Your hyper awareness of it coating the skin of your legs only amplified your repulsion and discomfort. Finally, you nodded reluctantly but avoided his eyes.

You expected him to get up to start the bath, but instead he lifted your chin to make you face him. His eyes were so soft, so warm, when he said, “It’s just blood.” His hand shifted to cup your face. “It’s just me. There’s no reason to be embarrassed. I’ll leave if you really want me to. I can see if Feyre can stop by after—”

Your eyes widened. “Oh gods,” you gasped. “Feyre. I was supposed to meet her for lunch. What time is it?”

Azriel shushed you. “It’s okay. You missed lunch, but it’s okay. Feyre was worried about you, but she had an art class to teach, so she asked me to check on you. Clearly, she was right to be worried.”

“I can’t believe I stood her up—”

“You passed out in the bathroom from pain, Y/N,” he cut you off. “Feyre would never hold that against you. Neither would Rhys,” he added, knowing you far too well.

Water suddenly started filling the tub behind you. Azriel smiled softly. “I guess the House beat me to it.”

He stood up, and then reached down to pull you up by your underarms. You shakily stood in front of him, hands crossing over your abdomen. Your knees started to buckle under the intensity of the pain, but Azriel quickly stabilized you by your waist. You closed your eyes and sucked in a breath, in far too much pain to keep protesting his help you desperately needed. Help you desperately wanted. “Azriel,” you whimpered, nothing else coming out.

“I’m right here, sweetheart,” he reassured. “Do you need help getting in the bath?”

Resigned, you nodded. “I don’t think I can do this,” you whispered.

“Okay.” He nodded. “Let’s get you in the bath then. First, we need to get this gown off you.” His thumb gently brushed your hip, and his shadows mimed his gentle touch across your cheeks and neck. “Can I?”

You chewed on the inside of your cheek and nodded. He swiftly pulled the gown up and over your head, and while he turned to toss the gown in your hamper, you slid your ruined underwear off. You stepped toward the bath, but you embarrassingly tripped over your own feet. Azriel was there instantly, swiftly resting a hand on the middle of your bare back and another under your arm. “Easy,” he murmured, gently guiding you to step into the tub, stabilizing you as you sank down beneath the sudsy water.

You leaned back in the tub, Azriel releasing you. “I hate that you’re seeing me like this,” you admitted quietly.

Azriel frowned as he kneeled next to you outside the tub. “Why?”

“I hate how weak I am right now. It’s humiliating, Az. I shouldn’t need your help. I should be able to take care of myself.”

“How is me helping you any different from letting Mor help you?” he asked, seriously. 

Well, you weren’t in love with Mor, for starters.

“Mor doesn’t judge you, you know that. I’m not judging you either. I would never think less of you for this,” he told you. “I want to help you. I want to be here with you. So please, let me.”

You stared into his eyes for a brief moment, absorbing the genuine care and concern shining through the normally cool and guarded male. Here was this massive winged Illyrian warrior, adorned in armor and powerful siphons, with shadows swirling around him and a dagger strapped to his side that sent most scrambling, sitting beside you at your weakest most vulnerable state. You felt nothing but safe in that moment, and the thought made you close your eyes to hide the glossy sheen quickly forming over them. 

You wanted Azriel with you. You wanted him to take care of you. You were embarrassed, yes, vulnerable and exposed, but you knew in your bones that there was no one else on the planet who would care for you as well as Azriel.

With your eyes still closed, you asked him quietly, “Will you please help me wash my hair?”

A beat passed, then Azriel said, “Of course I will.”

Your eyes fluttered open to meet his soft ones. Then you yelped as something fell and splashed into the tub, getting water on Azriel. You winced as you leaned forward to scoop it out, finding a bottle of shampoo and conditioner. 

“You can tell the House was Made by Nesta,” Azriel muttered until his breath. You couldn’t help the small chuckle that escaped you, earning a shy grin from Azriel.

He took the bottles from you and sat them on the floor. He slid off some of the armor on his arms, including the siphons, leaving just the one in the center of his chest. You watched him pour a handful of shampoo into the palm of his tan, scarred hand. 

You closed your eyes again as he started gently massaging the shampoo into your scalp, building a soothing lather. His large hands and surprisingly nimble fingers scrubbed every inch of your scalp, and you thought you might melt when he paid special attention to the nape of your neck. When he was done, he filled a small bowl you kept on your sink with water, then slowly poured it over your head to rinse the soap from your hair. 

He pulled a cloth from the stack of towels beside the tub, but he paused his motions after dipping it in the soapy water. Before he could even ask, you nodded your head and murmured, “Please.”

Azriel gently washed your arm and then the next. He ran the cloth over your collarbone, barely brushing the tops of your breasts, but you were too exhausted and numb with resounding pain to think much of it, and Azriel’s touch and gaze remained nothing but respectful. A warm hand on your shoulder gently coaxed you to lean forward so he could reach your back.

A shiver racked your body as he brushed over your spine, and simultaneously another sharp pain pierced your abdomen. Tears leaked from the corner of your eyes from the juxtaposition of sensations you were feeling. Azriel brushed a tear away with his thumb not covered in soap. “Doing okay?” he asked softly.

More tears leaked from your eyes. “It hurts so bad, Az,” you choked out.

“I’m sorry, sweetheart,” he said sincerely, as he finished washing your back. “I wish I could do something.”

“You are, Az.” You placed your hand over his on your shoulder, meeting his eyes briefly before he looked away. “I’ve only spent a cycle alone once and,” you swallowed the ache that formed in your chest, “And it was horrible. You just being here—it means everything. Let alone you taking care of me.”

He didn’t say anything, but he brushed small strokes against the skin of your shoulder before pulling the cloth away from your back. You took the cloth from him and said, “I can finish up.”

He nodded, and for a moment he looked unsure what to do before you said, “Az?” His gaze snapped back to yours. Your cheeks heated irrationally. “I don’t have any linens for…” You looked down at the water before going back to him. “And I don’t have any tonics.”

His eyes widened at the last sentence. “You haven’t even taken a tonic?”

You shook your head. “I’m normally more prepared than this, but this time it was so early,” you told him, embarrassed. 

“Why didn’t you ask someone to get you one? Ask me?” he asked, clearly exasperated. “Mother above, Y/N. I know Mor is usually the one who helps you, but any of us would do anything for you.”

You looked away as he sighed and brushed a hand over your hair. “I’ll get you what you need,” he murmured. “Are you okay here for a few minutes?”

You nodded. “I promise not to pass out and drown in the bathtub.”

“That’s not even funny,” he grumbled as he stood up. He put his siphons back on his wrist and said, “I’ll be right back.” He spared one more hesitant glance at you before exiting the bathroom, quietly shutting the door behind him.

You quickly washed yourself, then leaned back against the tub to wait for Azriel to return. You thought about getting out, but the pain radiating to your thighs and the remaining lightheadedness made you think better of it. A lingering shadow swooped over your collarbone, as if agreeing with your decision. You shut your eyes, practicing some of the breathing techniques Nesta had shared with you from their Valkyrie training to distract you. 

The door creaked open and Azriel’s voice said, “If you fell asleep in the tub, so help me.”

You peaked at him through hooded eyes before fully opening them. A teasing smile adorned his face, and he held a bottle and some linen cloth pads in his hands. He sat the linens on the counter and opened the bottle, handing it to you. “Drink this.”

He didn’t have to tell you twice. He left the bathroom again briefly before returning with a new gown and underwear. “Are you ready to get out?”

“Yeah,” you said, licking your lips of any residual bitterness from the tonic.

Azriel reached for a towel and held it up for you. “I have some food and water for you in the room to wash the tonic down,” he said. You shakily stood up in the tub and he swiftly wrapped you in the towel. He held you by your arm as you stepped out, and guided you over to the counter where your clothes were.

He grabbed the underwear that already had a pad in it. “Here.” He knelt down in front of you, holding the underwear out for you. “Hang on to me and step in these.”

You did as he said, and he swiftly pulled them up your legs. He followed suit with the nightgown, letting the towel drop only after it covered you. He then used your comb on your counter to detangle your wet hair, patting it dry with your towel. 

You wanted to kiss this male for how sweet he was. He presented himself as cold, stoic, and dangerous, but he was the kindest male you had ever met. The gentleness in his touch was a paradox to the career and reputation he had.

He picked you up without warning, cradling you in his arms. “Let’s get you in bed.”

He moved swiftly through your room, setting you on the bed with clean sheets. He handed you a glass of water, telling you to drink before handing you a berry scone. “You think you can stomach this?”

You nodded, not entirely convinced you could, but you were starving. Azriel sat beside you on the bed quietly while you ate your scone. You took a few more sips of water before setting it back on the nightstand. Azriel reached for another tonic bottle on the table, handing it to you. “This is a sleep tonic,” he told you. “Madja said they don’t usually work for your cycle? But I thought it was worth trying, if you want.”

You nodded. “Thank you, Az.” You drank the tonic, this one thankfully sweeter than the first one. “When I was younger, my mom always gave me a sleep tonic that instantly put me to sleep.” You smiled, nostalgia hitting you. Azriel listened intently. “I have no idea how she made it. I’ve never been able to successfully recreate it. I wish she wrote her recipes down, so I had more than just the memories of things she told me,” you said softly.

You laid down, head resting on your pillow as you faced Az. His eyes roved over you, uncertainty flickering in them. “Is there anything else I can get you?”

Trepidation laced your voice as you started, “Can you just—” you swallowed hard and shook your head. “Nevermind,” you whispered, smiling half-heartedly. “I’m fine. Thank you, Az.”

Azriel frowned, and he smoothed a gentle hand over your damp hair. The motion had his cool cedar scent wafting over you, and you closed your eyes in a brief indulgence. “Y/N,” he murmured, hazel eyes glimmering with resolution as they met yours, “Tell me what you need. You say it, and it’s yours.”

Your heart skipped a beat. A few beats passed as you grappled for the courage to make your request. “Can you please just lay with me?” you asked, voice cracking under the weight of so many different emotions flooding your system.

Nearly imperceptibly, Azriel’s eyes widened. If you didn’t know him so well, you would have never noticed the shift in his breathing, the twitch of his wings. All signs that Azriel, the Shadowsinger, was nervous. You had feared rejection, but suddenly you were hit with the new fear that you had made him uncomfortable.

“I’m sorry,” you rushed out. “I should never—you don’t have to—”

“Hey,” he rested a warm hand on the duvet covering your thigh. “Of course I will.” He stood up from the bed and moved to the couch that rested under your window, slipping off his boots. “Just let me take some of this off first.”

You shifted to face him fully, watching silently as he removed his heavy leathers from his torso, leaving his chest and arms bare with his shadows slowly snaking across him. He removed his belt and thigh holsters, then he started unlacing his pants before he paused and met your gaze. You blushed at being caught in your ogling, but Azriel didn’t seem to mind. “Is this okay? I can go get some clean clothes from my room. I just—I know you like your bed clean, and I didn’t want to climb in with these dirty leathers.”

“It’s fine, Az,” you assured him, smiling softly. 

He nodded and slipped his pants off, leaving him in his underwear. Your breath caught at the sight of his tanned, muscled thighs, and the blush on your cheeks intensified with the impure thoughts pushing to the front of your mind. A new wave of pain quickly dissolved any thoughts of debauchery, and your wince and sharp inhale had Azriel taking quick strides to your bed.

He climbed in under the covers, the warmth radiating from his body immediately seeping into your cool, damp skin. He moved around until he was on his side, facing you, and his wings sprawled out behind him. A few tendrils of shadow flitted over to you, grazing your neck and cheeks. You grinned despite the pain you were still in.

“Sorry,” Azriel murmured, and you swore his cheeks were tinged pink. “Do they bother you?”

“Not at all,” you told him honestly. “They’re…comforting, really.”

His eyes softened, and he placed a gentle hand on your shoulder. The pad of his thumb grazed the exposed skin of your collarbone, and you couldn’t help the goosebumps that appeared across your flesh. “Come here,” Azriel said softly, gently nudging you toward him.

You both shimmied closer to each other until you were fully pressed against his tattooed chest, cheek meeting the warm skin of his pectoral. You curled your arms up in between you both, letting his body fully cocoon yours as his arms wrapped around you.

“Thank you,” you whispered. “Growing up, my mother would always hold me. Whenever I was hurting. Whether it was because of my cycle, or if I was scared, or heartbroken,” your voice cracked as you continued, “She would always lay with me and just hold me.” You sniffed, and a tear rolled down your cheek as Azriel’s embrace tightened. “I miss her so much, Az,” you sobbed.

“I know, sweetheart,” he cooed and rubbed his hand up and down your arm. “You can always tell me about her. Anytime you want.”

You nodded into his chest, not ready to speak.

“I wish I could have met her,” he told you quietly. “She would be so proud of you, though, I know it. Imagine if she knew you followed the High Lord’s general out of a bar and demanded to heal his wings.”

You scoffed, but it sounded more like a choke. “I did not demand anything.” 

You couldn’t see his face, but you knew he was smiling. “True, you were too polite to do such a thing.”

“Were?”

He laughed. “But we all knew you weren’t going to let Cassian leave without you at least looking at him. Most people run the other direction when they see us, but not you.” His wing settled over the two of you softly, the added warmth and pressure a welcome comfort. “I’m so glad Cas got in that fight.”

“I am too.”

You shifted slightly so you could see the wing hovering over you. You met Azriel’s warm and watchful hazel eyes as you hesitantly reached for the delicate membrane. You paused before touching him, meeting his curious gaze, and when he didn’t stop you, you lightly brushed your fingertips across the smooth and leathery membrane. Azriel shuddered, and you quickly retracted your hand.

“Sorry,” you rushed out, your cheeks and ears hot. “I’m sorry. They’re just so beautiful. I forget how delicate and sensitive they are.”

“Sensitive, being the key word,” Az choked out.

“Sorry,” you murmured, looking away sheepishly.

“It’s okay,” he assured, pulling you tight against him again. “I don’t mind you touching them. Truly. Like I said, they’re just sensitive.”

He jostled you around a bit as he readjusted, holding you tight against him with his wing still offering an extra layer of protection. “Why don’t you try to get some sleep, yeah?” His soft, near melodic voice made you aware of your eyes starting to droop with every passing second. “I’ll stay right here,” he promised.

“Okay,” you weakly rasped as you unabashedly nuzzled against him. “Thank you, Az.”

“Anything for you, Y/N,” he whispered as his cheek rested against the top of your head. “Anything.”

8 years ago

Wisdom Teeth and Too Small T-Shirts (Peter Parker x Reader)

Request: “10 and 13 from the prompt list with Peter, pretty please????” + “#10 please”

#10: “There is no way I’m going out in public with you looking like that.”

#13: “Hey is that my shirt?”

Summary: When you became Peter’s girlfriend you knew you would have to put up with a lot of things: crazy supervillians, missed dates, late assignments, etc. but you never anticipated that your hardest challenge to date would be something not related to his hero persona at all, but just getting home from the dentist.

“Vhat the hmck.” Peter struggled against the seatbelt that you had just buckled for him. He had just gotten his wisdom teeth out and his speech was pretty impaired by the cotton in his mouth. While it was extremely cute, you focused on the task at hand; getting Peter to keep still and keep his seatbelt on. You were supposed to drive him home and take care of him for a bit while Aunt May was at work and you had openly accepted the job, getting to witness whatever crazy stuff Peter said would be super funny and cute, you just hadn’t anticipated how crazy.

“(Y/N)!” Peter yelled. “Vhere err ooh?” 

“Peter I’m right here. I just walked around the car to get in.” You giggled as you got in the driver’s seat and buckled yourself. You began to back out when Peter screamed and you pressed the brake to the floor.

“Oh my gosh! Peter what?” You looked at him in the rearview mirror. 

He yawned and shrugged. “I just felt like I needed to do that.” You closed your eyes in exasperation. Maybe this wouldn’t be as cute as you thought. 

Once you got on the road you heard Peter rummaging around in the back of your car. You ignored it because of the heavy traffic and hoped he wasn’t causing too much trouble. When you looked up you snorted in surprise. 

“Hey is that my shirt?” Somehow Peter had taken off his own shirt and put on one of your extras that you had kept in the back of your car. It was obviously much too small for him and had a print from a Disney movie on it. 

“No.” He jutted out his chin stubbornly. “This is my shirt.” You couldn’t help but laugh at his look of surprise when he looked down and noticed the shirt didn’t cover his stomach. He looked so ridiculous you couldn’t help it.

“Oh Peter.” You giggled. “What am I going to do with you?” 

“Kiss me probably,” He winked before laughing himself while you just rolled your eyes. He continued to make comments as he reached into your bag and pulled out your tiny makeup bag. 

“Peter no.” You tried to look at him again as you simultaneously tried to turn the corner and avoid an oncoming car that had swerved into your lane. 

“Peter yes.” He answered you as he began to put eyeliner on his nose. You gave up and focused on the road. Once you got home you’d be able to give him the attention he obviously needed.

Soon you were parked in the apartment lot and you finally looked at Peter. 

“I can’t believe you.” You couldn’t stop laughing at how funny your boyfriend looked. You were pretty sure that lipstick was on his eye lids, and matched with the tiny shirt he sure was a sight to see. Peter began giggling because you were laughing. 

“How do I look?” You just shook your head and grabbed the bag away from him, still chuckling. 

Peter went to open his door but it was stuck. “Why won’t it open?” He asked you innocently. You smirked as Peter struggled against the child locks that you had activated as soon as you both had gotten in the car. 

“I’m sorry Peter, but there is no way I’m going out in public with you looking like that.”

6 years ago

Omg so beautiful

For You And Your Internet Friends! 💙
For You And Your Internet Friends! 💙
For You And Your Internet Friends! 💙
For You And Your Internet Friends! 💙
For You And Your Internet Friends! 💙
For You And Your Internet Friends! 💙
For You And Your Internet Friends! 💙
For You And Your Internet Friends! 💙
For You And Your Internet Friends! 💙

For you and your internet friends! 💙

Feel free to send these to them but please do not repost

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ania-swissweet - Ancymon
Ancymon

Gryffindor, Team Cap, Star Wars and Doctor Who fan, Cat lover, musical geek

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