13. And 14. With Peter Maximoff, Please? ❤ You Are Awesome!

((The ability to appreciate and evaluate human aesthetic is not determined by your sexuality))

Sigh No More  “The Cave”

Author’s Note: This one was a bit hard to write. I hope you all like it, please send feedback or requests or anything! I am very happy with this project though and I encourage you guys to listen to the songs while reading. Love!

Track one can be found here 

______________________________________________________________________

Track Two:

“So tie me to a post and block my ears/I can see widows and orphans through my tears/I know my call despite my faults/And despite my growing fears/But I will hold on hope/And I won’t let you choke/On the noose around your neck /And I’ll find strength in pain/And I will change my ways/I’ll know my name as it’s called again”

Grunting.

Sweating.

Heat building inside him as he took out every aggression on the punching bag in front of him. The gym was empty this early in the morning and he took every opportunity to cleanse himself of his nightmares before the dawning of a new day. Tony had been kind enough to provide the super soldiers with extremely strong, reinforced punching bags, giving them the ability to train at length without them bursting.

His mind barraged him with scattered memories, most of them half-truths or warped recounts of who he was before. Before…, he thought to himself, the word always lingering on the edge of his consciousness, Back when I was worthy, back when I was normal, back when I knew what it meant to be James Barnes.

His fists pummeled the bag as faces began swirling around his psyche. Some held fear, some held disgust, some held awe, but all had one thing in common: distrust. That was what he was the most tired of, all the distrust. Even Steve, who seemed to be the only one who considered him human always hid apprehension behind his eyes, as if Bucky was a bomb just building toward explosion.

Suddenly, the faces changed. No longer were these the images of people he knew; now they were the faceless figures of those he’d hurt. Bucky had heard plenty of stories of the crimes he’d committed, each one swept away by HYDRA. He could feel their anger, sense their fear, and taste their sadness in the back of his throat. And it was all because of him. The full force of his self-loathing hit him in that moment, fueling his punches and causing an involuntary growl to rip through him. His face felt damp, though he couldn’t tell if it was from sweat or tears.

Then, a sound behind him. He whipped around without thinking, the soldier’s instincts within him causing his muscles to tense, ready to fight.

But it was only Y/N. She stood in the doorway, all messy hair and bleary eyes, looking so small wrapped in a blanket. Her cheeks were red and she looked as if she’d been crying.

“Bucky, I-” she started, before swallowing a sob, “I had a nightmare and you weren’t in your room and-”

She was cut off by his embrace. Both arms held her tightly now, fear of his metal limb gone at the sight of her duress. She pressed her face into him and let her tears flow freely as her blanket fell from her bare shoulders. He knew she’d been tortured horribly by a terrorist group prior to his arrival and he’d often found himself fantasizing about what he’d do if he ever found the men who’d hurt her.

“It was just the same dream as always. I’m sorry for reacting like this but I couldn’t find you and my mind got the best of me and-,” she sighed with frustration, “I’m sorry for being so weak all the time.”

Confusion tinged his vision as he pulled away to look at her. Here was this person who had been through more than anyone could imagine, be it rage or pain or unbridled loss, and still chose to believe in the goodness of the world. Often, he would catch her simply smiling to herself, his presence unknown as she silently thanked the universe for its gifts with the beautiful upturn of her lips. Though Bucky knew his circumstances differed, he still looked to her when he needed proof of joy or an infusion of hope toward his unyielding future. These feelings, he knew, could easily atrophy after such a hard existence, yet she kept them strong through sheer force of will and the refusal to let her life get the best of her. He knew in his heart that she was anything but weak.

“Y/N,” he started, pausing to brush the hair out of her eyes, “You are not weak. After everything you’ve been through, you’re one of the strongest people I know.”

He felt his response terribly inadequate but knew he must have done something right when a faint smile touched her lips.

“Still, I really am sorry for bothering you like this,” she sighed shakily, “I know how much this time means to you.”

Her eyes searched his face for any sign of resentment, though she found nothing but concern. He pulled her in gently, letting her head fall on the skin of his human shoulder as he rubbed soothing circles into the tense muscles of her back.

“This is more important than any training,” he reassured, “Trust me.”

Her hands snaked their way around his neck, pulling him even closer.

“I do,” she replied simply, relishing the soft touch of his hair at her fingertips, “I do trust you.”

The full force of her words struck him sharply, leaving him dazed and unsteady. She trusts me? He turned the thought over in his mind, considering her proclamation from every angle. As he mused on the possibility of her feelings toward him, she sighed contentedly into his shoulder, nuzzling the scarred skin she found there. He felt how vulnerable she was in his arms, both physically and emotionally, and he wanted to push her away, to tell her that she deserved more than a beast like him, to give her to someone who could protect her from the Winter Soldier lying dormant inside of him.

But he knew he wouldn’t do that. He knew, as he led her to his room where she’d inevitably fall asleep wrapped in his protective embrace, that as long as he lived he could never allow another man the privilege of waking up next to her in the morning or the comfort of catching her smiling at him from across a crowded room. He also knew that he should feel selfish in wanting her all to himself, but he had a sense that that’s exactly how she wanted it too.

As they climbed into his warm bed, he couldn’t help but wonder where the abundant self-loathing he’d been fixated on only minutes earlier had disappeared to and he marveled at the way her touch soothed him even as he worked to comfort her. He knew as she snuggled closer into his grasp that he would never let his past dictate him as he was now responsible for something more than just himself. She trusted him and that was enough of a reason to keep on existing, if only to hear her laugh or feel her tense muscles relax as she fell asleep against him once again.

controversial opinion

you are not better than fat people!

even REALLY fat people!

even fat people who don’t put a lot of time into their appearance!

even fat people who wear clothes you think are unflattering!

your appearance literally does not make you better than a fat person. you are not more fun to hang out with because you’re not fat. you are not funnier, smarter, or more interesting by virtue of not being fat. you aren’t harder working, you don’t have more self-control, you don’t have your life more together.

the only difference between you and fat people is that they have to put up with a lot of harassment, discrimination, exclusion, and other bullshit that you don’t even think about.

try not to add to it.

Imagine Bucky asking you to sleep together because you keep the nightmares away.

Surfing through the channels idly, you looked to the door when it opened slowly, revealing a disheveled-looking Bucky. You sat up straighter as you took him in. He was sweating and his chest was slightly heaving. You tried not to think how beautiful he looked in his white T-shirt.

“Hey,” he stepped forward. “Um…” he rubbed the back of his neck, brow furrowing.

“Is everything okay?”

“Y-Yeah, it was just a nightmare,” Bucky answered. “It’s why I’m here, actually.”

“Anything I can do to help, just tell me, Bucky,” you assured.

Bucky sighed out before he opened his mouth. “The last time I slept through the night without any nightmares, it was when you slept next to me. Can you please, maybe consider—”

“Bucky, of course,” you laughed softly.

“Really?” he brightened up.

You got off the bed and walked up to him, taking his metal hand into yours, weaving your fingers together. “Anything you want, Bucky.”

Bucky smiled, head tipping to press a kiss to your cheek. “Thank you, Y/N.”

Animated posters ❀ MCU locations

REBLOG IF YOU HAVE STRETCHMARKS

This way girls and boys can see they’re not alone. I have them and this would help me see that.

Wow

A list of things Steve Rogers would historically be unfamiliar with:

I fell down a rabbit hole of research about inventions circa the 40s and was surprised by a bunch of things that have been around way longer than I thought and some that are strangely reccent, and compiled them into a list. Aka, a resource for fic writers.

Bananas (or rather, the ones we have today. The ones he’d be accustomed to, the Gros Michel, a sweeter, creamier species, went extinct in the 50s and was replaced with the bland Cavendish banana.)

High-fives (the low-five was actually invented first, around WW2, and he may have been familiar with that)

Buffalo Wings (invented in the 60s)

CPR (not really used until the late 40s, not widely known until the 50s)

Tiramisu (invented in the 80s)

Big Macs & McNuggets (while McDonald’s was founded in 1940, the former wasn’t introduced until the 60s, and the latter, the 80s)

Seat belts (the first car to have one was in the late 40s, and only became mandatory to wear them in the 80s. holy shit.) 

Walmart (invented in 1962. Or really, the large-scale supermarkets as we know them today really)

Yellow tennis balls (prior to the 70s they were usually black or white)

Panadol (first sold in the US in the 50s)

The smiley face aka :) (popularised in the 60s)

Now alternatively, here’s a list of things Steve WOULD (or possibly would) be familiar with:

I’m not sure why some of these surprised me.

Modern Sunglasses (have been around a lot longer than I thought, and were mass produced in the 20s)

Nokia (was first founded in 1865. I’m not kidding. They began as a pulp mill and moved into making rubber respirators for military from the 30s onwards)

Nintendo (been around since 1889 as a toy company, during the 40s they made playing cards. Wouldn’t be implausible that he knew about Nintendo, perhaps from Morita)

Krispy Kreme (opened in 1937, didn’t spread widely until the 50s however)

Kool-Aid (introduced in the 30s)

Oreos (introduced in 1912)

Printed/graphic tees (didn’t become a trend until the 60s-70s, but they certainly existed in the 40s)

Hoodies (originated in the 30s, worn by workers in cold New York warehouses. Meaning, it’s entirely plausible Bucky could’ve been wearing hoodies in the 40s)

Malls (they weren’t called that back then, but they certainly had shopping centres or plazas since the 1800s)

Converse sneakers (invented in 1908 and have barely changed since!)

‘’I Don’t care’’

A/N: Just a silly idea that popped into my head, sorry this is crap I just had to get it off my mind.. I have a thing for bickering Bucky. Please note that english is not my first language so there might be grammar mistakes Pairings: Bucky X Reader Prompt: Your reckless side can drive Bucky mad sometimes but he also kind of enjoyed it..  Warnings: injuries? violence?  Word count: 2164

Your heart was beating hard against your chest, adrenaline rushing through your body and you tried to be as quiet as you could while making sure that no enemies were in sight. ‘’All clear’’ you said over your earpiece and you lowered you gun slightly, feeling a little bit of relief. You instructions had been clear, stay together and clear the area, but you had an instinct that there was more to gain from this mission than was originally planned. 

You glanced over at Bucky before taking a deep breath as you pondered over the decision you were about to make. ‘’We should get going Y/N’’ Bucky said, gesturing down the hallway behind him ‘’there’s nothing down here’’ he gave you a small smile. 

Keep reading

Sad Love Story

Reader is in love with Bucky but is too afraid to tell him until it’s too late.

Word Count: 3081 (dang)

A/N: I thought this was pretty crappy but oh well, hopefully you enjoy! (There are a few curse words in there but that’s about it.)

“Hey let’s do something today,” Bucky said, closing his laptop. 

“I thought we agreed that we can’t do anything fun today because I have an essay to write and you have to complete your mission report,” you replied. 

“Yeah well, I’m kind of over it, and I’m not really in the mood to finish this anyways. Plus I really want to spend time with my best friend. Let’s go get some ice cream and watch a movie!” he exclaimed. 

You smiled at his childness before closing your laptop.  “Sounds like a great idea.” 

“Yes!” he said with excitement while closing his laptop.  

You always admired his personality and how he could be so joyful after everything that had happened to him.  You remembered the first day you met Bucky, he was so nervous to even touch you, afraid that he would hurt you like he hurt all those people before.  You remembered the first time you heard Bucky laugh genuinely causing you to laugh along with him.  You remembered the first night Bucky woke up screaming from a nightmare, sweat dripping down his face, his breaths uneven, and his hands clutching onto the bed sheets causing his knuckles to become white.  You remembered hearing his cry causing you to jolt out of bed and rush to his side immediately, comforting him until his breathing went back to normal, until he was no longer shaking.  You remembered those times where he couldn’t sleep and insisted that you stay with him resulting in you playing with his hair and sharing about your day at University.  

You remembered every single moment with him causing you to fall in love with him a little bit more each time.  You knew you should tell him your true feelings, but you knew he didn’t like you the same way.  Your friendship was more important than your true feelings.  

“See you in five,” Bucky said as he walked out of your room with a huge smile on his face.  

You laughed silently to yourself as you prepared yourself for an awesome day with your best friend.

A couple of days later, you and the rest of the team were invited to yet another party hosted by Stark, the only difference was, Bucky was escorting a girl.  She was tall and thin with long brown hair and brown eyes.  She smiled at everyone as she met the entire team.  

“And last but certainly not least, my best friend, (Y/N). (Y/N) this is Megan, my girlfriend.” 

“Oh my goodness, Bucky talks about you all of the time! I’m glad to finally meet you,“ she said shaking your hand. 

“Likewise,” you said with a small smile.  

“Well, I’m going to go get a drink, I’ll be right back,” Megan said before heading to the bar. 

“She’s pretty,” you said just loud enough for Bucky to hear. 

“I know, she’s absolutely amazing (Y/N), she’s everything I want in a woman.  I know you’ll love her too,” he said with a huge smile on his face.  

You smiled back, concealing the pain that was coming from your heart breaking into a million pieces.  You watched as Bucky walked back to his girlfriend who was waiting for him with a glass.  

“You should tell him you know?” Steve said leaning against the table beside you.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you replied quickly, fixing your dress. 

“(Y/N), you know exactly what I mean.” 

“I can’t tell him now!” you exclaimed, “I mean just look at him,” you said pointing at Bucky’s direction, “he looks so happy.” 

“I know, but he deserves to know,” Steve said beginning to walk away from the table, “and if it means anything, I think you’re a much better match for him,” he whispered before walking away.  

You smiled to yourself before returning your attention back to the party.  

Before you knew it, months had passed, and Bucky was still together with Megan.  You were surprised knowing how quickly he would move one girl to another.  Your heart started to break little by little as you heard him talk about just how amazing Megan was or how Megan was absolutely perfect for him.  

You remembered the time Megan had moved into the tower nearly redecorating every room to her desire.  Pictures of the two of them began to pop up in the living room and the dining room making your heart clench in your chest.  

You remembered the first night Bucky had a nightmare when Megan was in the building.  You remembered how you shot out of bed like it was a natural instinct, however by the time you reached his room, you saw Megan by his side comforting him.  You froze realizing you were no longer the only one who could comfort him after a nightmare.  You felt tears building up in your eyes, jealousy and bits of anger filling your mind.  

You decided to let out your frustration by going down to the training room and punching the shit out of a punching bag.  You neglected to tape your hands, hoping that the pain would take your mind off of your aching heart.  

With every blow against the bag, your reflected on each event you had with Bucky causing you to only become more angry.  After what felt like hours, you stopped, your breaths shortening as your forehead leaned against the bag.  

“Couldn’t sleep either?” you heard Bucky ask from behind you.  

You shook your head, not wanting to face him.  “Why are you up? Shouldn’t you be asleep with Megan?” you asked getting some water while avoiding his gaze.  

“I had another nightmare,” he said softly. 

You stopped what you were doing before replying, “Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t know.” 

“You don’t have to lie, I saw you at my door.  Why are you avoiding me?” he asked making his way towards you. 

“I’m not avoiding you Bucky,” you said quietly, facing him.  

“Bullshit, did I do something wrong? I miss you,” he pleaded grabbing your hand.  

You felt sparks as his hand clung to yours so naturally, your guys’ hands fit perfectly together.  

“Nothing,” you finally replied, “You did nothing wrong.  I just have a lot on my mind right now.” 

“You want to talk about it?” he asked, his eyes searching for yours.  

You finally looked up into his eyes, your heart shattering into a million pieces.  You felt your eyes beginning to water before you replied, “I can’t do this,” and walking out of the room leaving both a confused and hurt Bucky behind.  

Ever since that encounter, you decided to move out of the tower and into your own apartment, you couldn’t bare to see the couple walking around everyday. 

“Do you have to go?” you heard Bucky ask from the doorway of your empty room.  

“Yeah, I need to be on my own for a little bit and figure this out by myself.” 

You grabbed the last of your belongings and walked towards Bucky who had a sad look on his face.  Your heart broke even more but you knew it was the right thing for the both of you.  

“You promise you’ll talk about it when you’re ready?” 

You froze, you didn’t know if you’ll ever be ready.  You decided to lie in order to calm some of his nerves by nodding with a small smile on your face.  

“I’ll only be a couple of blocks away, it’s not like I am moving half way across the world or anything,” you said trying to lighten up the mood. 

You couldn’t bear to see Bucky like this.  

He smiled softly before pulling you into a hug, “See you around best friend,” he mumbled into your hair.  

“See you,” you said before leaving his embrace and leaving the tower.  

Years had past and although you and Bucky were still friends, your relationship with each other was holding on by a thread.  You began to become more distant, not just with him but with the entire team.  You would occasionally meet up with him for coffee but your guys’ meeting would only last for about an hour until you had to make an excuse to leave.  

Suddenly one day as you were sorting out your mail that evening, you received a letter in beautiful handwriting.  You opened it, automatically regretting that decision.  The letter in your hand was actually an invitation…an invitation to Bucky and Megan’s wedding.  

You didn’t even know they were engaged.  

“Why didn’t he tell me?” you said to yourself.  

You quickly picked up your phone and called Bucky, part of you wanting to tell him your true feelings, part of you wanting to tell him that this was a mistake and that Megan wasn’t the one for him…that you were.  However, once you heard Bucky’s voice answer, “hello?” all of your thoughts about telling him the truth disappeared.  

“Hi Bucky,” you started quietly. 

“(Y/N), how are you?” he asked, slightly surprised that you were calling him.  

“I just uh,” you froze debating whether or not to tell him the truth, “I wanted to tell you I got the invitation.  Congratulations, why didn’t you tell me?” you asked.  

“I was going to but we weren’t necessarily on good terms.” 

“Oh,” you replied quietly, “Well, I want to let you know that I will be attending. Thank you for inviting me.” 

“Of course, I couldn’t not have my best friend at my wedding,”  he said chuckling.  

You felt your heart shatter once again before you said, “Well all right then, I’ll see you around.” 

“See you,” Bucky replied before hanging up the phone.  

The moment you set your phone down you started to sob, you knew it was too late to tell him about your true feelings.  You sunk down to the floor, leaning against the counter top in your kitchen with your head in your hands.  

“Why didn’t I tell him sooner?” you asked yourself.  

The day you dreaded finally came where you had to put on your best fake smile and act like everything was okay.  You had a plan, after the ceremony, you were going to leave and stay with your sibling.  Your stuff was all packed and ready to go, all you had to do was wait for the “I do’s” and then you would leave this life behind you, forever.  

As you were shrugging your raincoat off of your shoulders, you ran into Steve who was walking around greeting guests for Bucky.  “(Y/N)!” Steve said before giving you a hug, “How are you?” he asked sympathetically. 

“I’ve been better,” you said quietly, “I’m leaving for good after today.  I thought you should know.” 

“What? You can’t just leave, we need you (Y/N).” 

“I can’t keep living like this, I already missed my chance to tell him how I truly felt and now I’m here at his wedding! My heart breaks every time I see him now and I just can’t do it anymore,” you said, tears threatening to spill from your eyes.  

“You should tell him,” he said.  

“I can’t tell him now! He’s about to get married!” you exclaimed.  

“(Y/N), he deserves to know, besides you’ll be leaving all of this behind you.  Just write a letter or something and slip it into his room once he leaves.” 

“But I-” you started, immediately being cut off.  

“(Y/N), it’s the right thing to do,” Steve said.  

You sighed and nodded, giving into his advice before searching for a notepad and pen.  Once you were able to get your supplies, you sat down and began to write down your thoughts.  

Once you were done, you decided to head to the room where Bucky was getting ready. Bucky was surprised to see you there.  

“How are you feeling?” you asked as Bucky was putting on his tie.  

“I don’t know, there’s a part of me that’s telling me this is wrong.  But it isn’t, right?” 

You froze at his words, could it be that he had feelings for you as well?  No, there’s no way.  You snapped out of your thoughts before replying, “It’s probably the nerves that comes with getting married.” 

“Yeah, you’re probably right,” he mumbled, struggling to tie his tie.  

“Here, let me help,” you said rushing up to Bucky and using your slim fingers to tie the tie perfectly around his neck.  

“Thanks,” he said, smiling.  

“Buck!” Steve said barging into the room.  

Steve smiled at you before saying, “It’s time.” 

“I’ll be out there in a sec,” he replied, Steve nodding at his response and leaving.  

“You ready to become a married man?” you asked, your voice slightly cracking from the tears threatening to spill from your eyes. 

“I think so, what’s that?” he asked referring to the piece of paper in your hand. 

“Oh nothing you need to worry about,” you said quickly slipping it into your purse.  

Bucky sighed, straightening his suit and saying, “Time to become a married man,” repeating your words with a smile.  

You smiled back before pulling him into a hug, “Good luck,” you whispered laughing slightly.  

Bucky smiled before leaving you behind in the room.  You pulled the piece of paper out of your purse again and stared at it for a long minute.  You sighed and said to yourself, “It’s for the best,” before leaving it on the table by the mirror.  

You quickly left the room and took a seat in the chapel next to the rest of the team.  Little did you know that Bucky, being the forgetful person that he was, had forgotten his vows and had returned to his room moments after you had left.  

He quickly grabbed what he needed before his eyes landed on your letter on the table.  His name was written in the most beautiful handwriting.  He smiled taking the letter of of the table and opening, assuming it was from his wife to be telling him how excited she was to become Mrs. Barnes.  

However, it was exactly the opposite.  As he read the letter in your recognizable handwriting, he froze.  

Dearest Bucky, 

I know that now is probably the worst time to tell you this but I thought you should know.  For the past 7 years I’ve known you, I have loved you and I still am.  I am truly, madly, deeply in love with you and it hurts. I loved you so much that I didn’t want to jeopardize our friendship by telling you my true feelings.  All of those memories we shared together are ones that I will treasure forever.  I hope you have a great life with Megan, I know she will be the perfect wife for you.  

Love, 

(Y/N)  

Bucky froze, he couldn’t believe his eyes, how could he have been so blind?  He sat down on the chair by the door, his head spinning, questions running through his had at a million miles an hour.  The one question that kept popping up in his head was, who do I really love? 

Suddenly, your face appeared in his head, your smile which always lit up the room, the light in your eyes illuminating your face always causing him to smile as well.  All of those nights where he couldn’t sleep, you were there, all of those nights where he would wake up screaming, you were there to help him, to comfort him.  

“How could I have been so stupid?” he asked himself, “I have to call the wedding off.” 

“Bucky!” he heard Steve yell from the hall way.  

Bucky quickly ran out, running into Steve who had a strong grip on his shoulders, “Let go of me,” he said trying to get out of his grasp.  

“You have to go! Everyone’s waiting for you.” Steve exclaimed dragging him towards the chapel.  

“No you don’t understand!” Bucky replied, fighting his grasp.  

“It’s just your nerves talking,” Steve replied, barging into the chapel with Bucky in hand.  

Bucky quickly turned to Steve, “No, you don’t understand, I have to call the wedding off.” 

“What do you mean call the wedding off?” Steve asked, “You’re just nervous now get up there!” he replied pushing him up to the arch.   

Bucky cursed himself as he fidgeted where he was standing.  His eyes scanned the crowd before they fell on your eyes.  Your eyes were filled with such sadness that he had now just realized.  He couldn’t take his eyes off of you, the way you sat in your dress.  Before he knew it, Megan was standing in front of him, a huge smile on her face.  

His heart broke, he couldn’t hurt her, but he would be living a lie.  “I do,” Megan said with such certainty.  

You grabbed your bag, ready to make a quick exit, ready to leave all of the pain behind.  You waited for the words to slip from his lips.  

“I’m sorry, I just can’t,” you heard Bucky said.  

You froze, staring at Bucky, his eyes automatically meeting yours.  The rest of the guests gasped in shock and whisper, but all you could focus on was Bucky.  You shook your head before grabbing your bag and running out of the chapel, running away from everyone.  You ran out into the pouring rain now caring about your dress getting ruined, or your makeup smearing down your face.  

But before you could reach the car that you arrived in, you felt a hand wrap around your wrist stopping you in your tracks.  You knew exactly who it was, but you didn’t dare look at his face.  

Bucky turned you around to face him, the rain mixed with your tears making your makeup run down your face.  “Why didn’t you tell me?” Bucky asked softly, his warm breath fanning your face.  

“I was too scared,” you choked out, “you weren’t supposed to read it until after, this isn’t right,” you whispered trying to run off again.  

Bucky kept his grip on your wrist refraining you from turning away.  “No, I’m not going to lose you again, please stay.  I’m sorry for not noticing, I’m sorry for not realizing you were in pain, I’m sorry for not realizing I loved you as well.  You’ve always been there for me, supporting me, caring for me, and I broke your heart in return.  I’m sorry, just please stay so I can fix my mistakes, so I can make things better between us.  I love you.”