An Illustrated Guide To Methods Of Murder In Musical Theatre

Playing House

Author: Mikala

Characters: Clint Barton x Reader

Word Count: 2,500

Warnings: Maybe like one swear word?

Author’s Note: This was also supposed to be a drabble… I am known for going above and beyond. The prompt was “I needed someone… And you were the only one I thought of.” I made up a cousin/family members for Clint. As always in my fics, Clint’s wife and kids do not exist in this. Let me know if you want a smutty Part 2?

Makeup scrubbed off, freshly showered, hair pulled up, pajamas on. You bed was calling your name, and as far as you were concerned, nothing was going to pull you away from it. You had just laid down, pulled the covers over your body, and found a comfortable position when you heard your cell phone’s text alert sound go off. You groaned, tempted to ignore it, but it went off twice more almost immediately afterwards. You figured that if it was an emergency, whoever it was would have called you rather than texted… But then again, who would text you three times in a row when it was almost midnight? Your curiosity got the better of you, and you found yourself rolling over to grab your phone from your nightstand. You smiled when you saw the messages were from “Merida.” You had a fierce love for all things Disney, and maybe a little crush on a certain archer friend of yours, so that was what Clint’s number was saved as in your contacts. You quickly scrolled through his most recent texts to you.

EMERGENCY. I NEED YOUR HELP ASAP –Clint

Ok well… It’s not really an emergency but I would appreciate your help –Clint

Keep reading

I’m declaring it now. 2020 is going to be the year where we all unironically, whole-heartedly throw ourselves into our passions.

You like Hazbin Hotel? That’s awesome! Make your Alastor theories and ship every couple under the sun. Make fan art, write fic, speculate for the rest of the season. Don’t let tumblr’s cancel culture make you lose your interest.

You’re still superwholock? That’s banging. So much of us are struggling with disconnecting and distancing ourself from the things we used to love, bc of an unfortunate combination of peer pressure and mental illness. The fact that you’re still creating and consuming content is amazing. Keep at it.

You like “cliche” or “overrated” musicals? Of course you do! Shows like Hamilton, Dear Evan Hansen, Heathers, Be More Chill, Beetlejuice, and Anastasia are popular for a reason, and you clearly understand the craze. In 2020 may you continue to discover new musicals (I recommend Next to Normal and In the Heights, personally) but never lose your love for the musicals that made you love Broadway.

Cringe culture is dead. I’m killing it now. Life is too damn short to be ashamed of the things you like, or to let other people make you feel bad for liking it. The world needs more radiance and positivity.

In 2020, write the fic. Draw the art. Listen to kpop and Taylor Swift and dance around your room. Engage (kindly) with your favorite creators, spread love, and make fandom a fun experience again.

After first episode of series 11

I don't like that new action film vibe but I absolutely love 13th Doctor. She is lovely, funny and she is exactly what we need right now. She is my Doctor <3

Awesome!

Is this anger?

Pairing: loki x reader Thor x reader (friend ship)

Author: me

Word count: 2818

Warnings: language,

Summary: Reader and Loki get into a fight when the reader gets into his cell. She ignores him for a few days until she has to leave and she goes to Loki to say good bye.

Requests: “Hey. Can you make a part 2 for “is this love?” where the reader can get into his cell and they can touch each other and hug and kiss. stuff like this. smut if you want, pleeeease”

“part two for ‘is this love?’ the reader and loki get into a fight and the reader leaves asgard and loki is all depressed? thank you!”

A/n: I didn’t do smut in this but in part 3 (if I make it) I will put smut. you can find part 1 HERE

**

it has been two days since that little incident and Odin still doesn’t like nor believe you. You still have visit’s with Loki and everytime he see’s that bruised up cheek of your he gets mad. really mad. like the hulk mad. You guys are always having normal conversations. That one time you started to talk with another prisoner and Loki got jealous so for the sake of his life you kind of stopped talking to him, and moved him down the hall just for safety reasons.

“I need to ask you something.” You said to Thor,

“Anything.” He said with a bright smile. You sighed, how were you going to say this?

“Do you think…you could..uh….,” Thor rolled his eyes in annoyance,

“Oh come on, y/n. Spit it out” He chuckled at you. You took a deep breath in,

“Do you think you can let me in Loki’s cell?”

Thor’s smile dropped, “why would you want that?” He asked confused. You grabbed Thor’s hand and pulled his to a chair so he could sit down,

“You said it yourself, Loki is in love with me and I him. He wouldn’t hurt me.” You looked in Thor’s eyes with a pleading look.

“I don’t know, y/n.” He paused, “He doesn’t have to hurt you to escape”

“Please?” He didn’t say anything, “you promised me a fun time here. Me seeing loki will be fun”

“You did see loki,” Thor said.

“You know what I mean,” you looked around to see of anyone else was coming, “I wanna do more than just see him, Thor”

“Ah, so this is about sex?” He said loudly. Very loudly.

“Thor keep it down!” You shouted, “if anyone heard you I would most likely be put in a cell just like Loki’s” you said in a whisper, “besides, I don’t wanna do the sex with him, I just wanna hug him or something. considering we both admitted that we love each other.”

“I’ll see what I can do,”

*

“Odin,” you bowed, over these weeks you decided to actually bow to the dick because you are trying to be on his good side he doesn’t send his men to kill you and then hide your body. can he do that?

“y/n,” Odin greeted you with a glare, “How nice to see you before you leave.”

“yeah, uh about that, I am here to ask if I can extend my stay here in Asgard.” you told him with your head low.

“No,”

“But sir-” you started but he cut you off,

“I am sorry but I do not trust you and when you ask for a-”

“Odin,” Came a scolding voice, Odin sighed, “Loki is in love with girl,” she said, “what do you think will happen when she leaves and doesn’t come back?”

“Frigga, please-” Frigga cut him off by looking towards you with a gentle smile,

“Your stay is extened to whatever date you please,” she walked up to you and you stood up to your feet. She took your hands in hers, “I have been dying to meet you” you smiled awkwardly, “please excuse my husband. he doesn’t trust anyone who has a conversation with my son”

“you’re Loki’s mother?” you asked in shock, “but I though he was a-”

“I may not be his biological mother but he grew up as my son and nothing will change that” her smile stayed on her face.

“Honestly, Loki never mentioned you,” you said with a real smile, “I like you”

“come,” she said. you followed her through the halls, “You and I are the only one who visit Loki and I thank you for that, If we weren’t to visit him he would go mad.” she chuckled.

“No offence but you are so nice and respectful, why are you with a man like Odin” you asked looking at Frigga.

“Odin is a man of cruelty and rudeness but he does love me in his way” she smiled,

you scoffed, “I wish he loved me” she stopped and looked at you,

“Excuse me?” she asked in shock,

“oh god!” you laughed “not like that, I mean respected me or-or you know just being a friend”

“ah,” she laughed, “You midgardians always please me”

“you should come down to earth, I can take you to go see a movie, have you ever saw a movie?” you asked her

“movie?” she asked furrowing her eye in confusion,

“yeah, uh moving pictures.” you smiled

“as interesting as it sounds I am Asgard’s queen and I cannot leave my home” she frowned, 

“Lady y/n!” you turned around and saw a guard running up to you

“I’m no lady.” you smirked 

“Thor has requested you company in the dungeons, he says it is about what you said earlier.” The guard said, “my queen” he greeted Frigga, 

“Go,” Frigga said, “Give my boy a hug for me,” she winked.

“How did you know?” you asked the queen.

“how else did you think Thor got permission to let you in the cell? he is powerful but not that powerful. If anything were to happen to you in that cell he would be sent in the cell next to loki,” she said, “but me however, Odin would not do tat to me.”

“Thank you” you said, grinning ear to ear.

*

“I will have these 4 guards standing outside of the door,” Thor pointed to the heavily armed guards, “and the prisoner’s were moved to the other dungeon so you guys have privacy, you only have 2 hours max, if Odin finds out that you were in the cell with Loki he won’t need evidence to back up his story either he will kill you or through you off of Asgard. quit literally, like into oblivious”

“okay,” you said with wide eyes

“I’m just kidding the worst he will do is just ban you from Asgard but then mother will let you back in, she is the queen after all” Thor smiled,

“You do realize that’s not funny right” you glared as Thor chuckled, “It’s kind of funny”

you sighed and walked into the dungeon, closing the door behind you, “Loki?” you called out as you skipped down the empty hall until you came face to face with the thick wall of glass, you held up the keys so Loki could see, “guess what I got Frigga to do for me?” you smirked.

“Y/n, you can’t come in here.” Loki said sternly

“and why’s that” you asked as you walked around the cell to the door,

“Y/n, please. If I even touch you I won’t resist myself” you laughed,”so, that is what this is about?” you asked as you unlocked the door, “the horny Loki is taking a peek?” 

“No, it’s not like that. It has been awhile since I killed someone” you stopped as your hand reached the door knob,

“Are you saying you are going to kill me?” you asked, “Loki, I know you are self conscious but that’s just sad.” you said as you opened the door. Loki didn’t move, he just stood there staring at you in shock, “so,” you whispered, “Are you going to kill me or are you going to kiss me?”

“oh hell,” Loki said to himself as he ran up to you, he grasped you head in his hands and crashed his lips to yours. The first thing you see is his bright green eyes before closing them.  Everything seemed to slow down like in a romantic movie you felt all you needed was the rain. Loki’s tongue skimmed you bottom lip, asking for entrance which you happily obliged. your tongues met together. he tastes of blueberries and strawberries. it was sweat.

Loki pushed you against the wall with force and you let out a moan as the hard surface hit your back. His hands wandered down before going to your breasts. Before you could muster up a moan he quickly pulled away, “I-I’m sorry y/n. That was very inappropriate” he apologized. turning around and taking a few steps to the other side of the cell.

“What are you saying sorry for loki?” you asked walking up behind him.

“why are we doing this?” he asked turning around to face you, “what we have sex then you leave Asgard and never come back? you get to tell all of your friends on how you slept with the great Loki of Asgard?” he asked rage filling his eyes, “huh?” he grabbed you shoulders and shook you.

“what?” you asked pushing him hands off of you, “No! why would I do that to you?” you asked with shock and sadness.

“Oh I don’t know, to see if the great loki has a heart?” he asked taking you words from a couple days ago, you stared at him, you were starting to get mad.

“Excuse me?” you asked  “You are the one who kissed me, mister!”

“Yeah and maybe I’m regretting it!” He shouted back.

“oh,” you said with a face smile, “Is this anger!”

“Yes this is fucking anger!” his eyes were filled with rage.

“Oh go eat a snickers!” you screamed in his face.

“Stop with your god damn references!” 

“Miss,” Came a voice by the door, “Are you alright?”

“I’M FINE!” you shouted while Loki screamed ‘SHE’S FINE’

The guard was quick to leave.

“MAYBE I WILL STOP WITH MY REFERENCES WHEN YOU STOP ACTING LIKE A BITCH!”

“HOW AM I ACTING LIKE A BITCH?” 

“Maybe it’s because you are always whining on ‘oh Odin hit you, that’s not fair” or “I wish I can get out of this god forsaken place and live like a king” you said in a whining little girl’s voice

“I DON’T SOUND LIKE THAT!”

“I HATE YOU!”

“I can’t believe I ever loved you!”

“Go try and destroy another planet!”

“Maybe I will!” he said walked towards you, you being as clumsy as you are, tripped over something and fell to the ground, hitting your head in the process. Luckily you you didn’t pass out. you stood up and touched your wound and bringing your hand back so you can see the blood.

“You dick!” you screamed, “you did this to me!” Loki’s eyes lost their anger and were now filled with sorrow and regret.

“y/n, I-I’m sorry,” he took a step towards you. You held up your hand to stop him,

“FUCK YOU!” you said before leaving the cell. You gared at loki before you closed and locked the door behind you.

“My lady,” the guard said running up to you, “are you alright?” he asked,

“do I look fucking alright?” you snapped and stomped away.

*

“I swear I am going to kill him!” Thor shouted as he walked back and forth.

“Thor,” you said as the doctor patted your wound with a napkin, “I told you this ten times,’ you paused as Thor stopped and looked at you, “Go do then! seriously, I hate the bastard! throw him off a fucking cliff!”

“Now, now,” Frigga said as she entered the room, “You and Loki just got into a fight, Odin and I get into fights every now and then but we always love each other in the end” she said softly 

“Well,” you began, “I don’t love the fucking god he can go suck a bag of di-”

“Y/n,” Thor said, “You are talking to the queen.”

you stopped, “I’m sorry. I am just really pissed off as you can see”

“I can see very well” Frigga smiled, “You must know that it was not all of Loki’s fault” she said.

“what” you scoffed, “Uh yeah it is, he was the one who-”

“y/n,” she said sternly, “I have had the same talk with Loki. I feel as if I am talking to kids!” she said loudly, it wasn’t a scream, “Now get your act together!” You and Thor froze. It was silent until Thor started to laugh,

“Work it, mother” he chuckled. Frigga nodded and left the room.

“Wow” you said in a whisper, “I guess she gets mad.”

“She is a mother, “ Thor smirked, “It’s her job”

*

It has been two days and you were planning on leaving today, you had to be back at work or else Nick Fury would chew your ass. You were happy to be leaving, you missed your home. All you wanted to do was cuddle with your phone and watch netflix.

you stuffed your last bit of clothing in your bag and sighed, “How the hell am I going to close you?” you asked yourself.

“try sitting on it” Thor’s voice said behind you, you shrugged,

“That may work”

“Are you going to say bye to my brother?” Thor asked coming up next to you,

“I don’t know,” you sighed, “I don’t think he wants to see me”

“Believe me when i say this, he does” he smiled, “he hasn’t been eating for the past couple days and he started to read alice in wonderland again”

“Good, “ you huffed, “I hope he starves to death”

“you don’t mean that” Thor said,

you sat down on your bed, “I don’t”

“Go see him, “Thor suggested, “I will finish your packing” 

“Alright”

*

“why so glum?” you asked loki as you walked in front of his cell. His head is in his hands as he sat on the side of his bed. There was food beside his bed on a small table that wasn’t touched. Beside that was ‘alice in wonderland’ opened and sitting face forward.

He looks up at you with a smile, “Y/n.”

“I heard you weren’t eating” you said with a straight face.

“oh uh,” He looked at his food, “I wasn’t hunger”

“for two days?” you asked with a small smirk on your face. Loki looked at you with tears in his eyes,

“I’m so sorry I did what I did to you the other day. It was foolish and selfish-”

“You were the one foolish?” you asked with a chuckle, “I told you to go eat a snickers” Loki laughed along with you. you stopped laughing and sighed, “Listen, I’m leaving today and I thought, well Thor thought that I should come and say bye”

“Come in here and give me a proper goodbye, then” Loki said with a small smile,

“I think we both know that’s a bad idea” you said with your hands i your pockets.

“Don’t go” He whispered,

“I have to,” You said tying not to let the tears come, “I have a job, a life”

“You can get a job here, “ Loki said tears streaming down his face, “You could live here too, mother already likes you and well you’ll grow on Odin”

“I can’t. You know why Loki. I can’t just drop everything and stay here in Asgard. I have friends there family. And I know if I do stay here Steve and Tony will hunt me down and drag me back” you laughed.

“Those god forsaken avengers are always winning” Loki growled under his breath but you heard.

“Loki, please. let’s not fight” you said closing your eyes,

“Then don’t leave!” Loki begged you, “please! I love you! You can’t leave!”

“I’m sorry! but I have to” you said, tears now streaming down your face to, “Good bye loki” you said softly.

“No! No! No! Please” Loki cried, “DON’T GO!”

You kept walking, ignoring his cries and left the dungeon with your heart broken.

*

“Here we are,” Thor smiled as he dropped your bags on your couch, “Home sweet uh….Home” he slowed down as he saw your dog run up to you, “How do you live with that vial creature?” he asked you as you laughed when your dog kissed your ear.

“It’s called a pet,” You said smiling, ‘You should get one”

“uh, no” Thor said, “I got to go. Father doesn’t like it much that I’m aloe with you,” he laughed as you quickly gave him a hug.

“I’m going t miss you” Thor said hugging you back. 

“Me too” you let go of Thor and he left.

“Just me and you now” you said to your dog, you noticed something in the corner of your eye. ou turned around and saw ‘alice in wonderland’ on your coffee table beside your couch, Thor must have left it for you.

You picked it up and a piece of paper fell from it, Slowly you picked it up and unfolded it.

It read,

I figured you would want this back - L

p.s: I love you.

******

And I’m done!

The First Avenger (2011) + The Winter Soldier (2014) // Civil War (2016)

Reblog if you believe phone call anxiety is real and it isn’t childish bad behavior.

Trying to prove a point to this job helper.

“I don't want to ruin you.”

Request: “I just read through all the sentence prompts and I struggled to choose but can you write no.29 for Steve? :D” - @grimes-v-negan

A/N: Okay so I had so much fun writing this one even though it took a while.  I’m really hoping you guys like it!

Warnings: Some Civil War spoilers and slight angst???

Pairings: Steve Rogers x Reader

“Hey Steve are you okay?” You said as you approached Steve who had a blank look on his face.

“No not really.”

You looked at him with a worried look upon your face.  “It’s about Bucky isn’t it?”

He nodded and frowned. “They’re coming after him and me.  I can’t let them get to him. He’s my best friend Y/N.  I just can’t watch them take him.”

“I know. I know. I just want you to know that I’m here for you.  I’m on your side.” You smiled.

“Thanks but the thing is this is most likely going to end up in a war amongst friends.” He paused and let out a sigh “I don’t want it that way and I don’t want you getting involved.” 

“Why?”

“Whenever there’s a war someone ends up getting hurt.”

“So what you’re saying is that  you don’t think I’m strong enough to handle this?”

“No, no.” He shook his head as he faced you. “It’s just that I-” He hesitated for a moment.

“You just what?” You asked a bit too aggressively.

He turned his face away from you and returned to staring out the window. “I don’t want to ruin you.  If you’re on my side you’re outside the law.  Your life could be over for you.”

“Steve listen to me.”  You placed your hand on his face so he could look at you. “I’m willing to fight for what I believe in and I’m willing follow you into battle.  We’re in this together.”

Steve sighed. “If you die its on me.”

“So? It’s my-”

Steve stopped you and removed your hand from his face. “ ‘So?’ What do you mean ‘so?’ You do realize how important you are?”

“Steve my life is a small price to pay if it means you win.”  You didn’t understand what Steve was getting worked up about.  He was always going on about fighting for what you believe in.

“You still don’t understand.”  You could slowly hear Steve’s voice tightening.  You had to admit you were also getting frustrated.

“So please tell me what I don’t understand.” You said disconcertedly.

“I-I-”

“Just say it already!’ You said with a sudden burst of annoyance.

“I love you!” Steve said loudly which sent shivers down your spine.  It also shocked you a bit to find out that he was in love with you.  You weren’t really sure how to respond but you definitely felt something for him too. You decided to take a step closer so your faces were only inches apart.  Your eyes met his.

“I love you too and that’s exactly why I’m always going to be right next-”

He didn’t even give you the chance to finish before he pressed his lips towards yours. The feeling of his warm lips brushing against yours felt so satisfying as if this was the moment you had always been waiting for.

Steve pulled away from the kiss that felt like forever. “I’m sorry.” He said with a cute smile that could make your heart melt.  “I just didn’t want to see you get hurt.”

“It’s okay as long as we take care of each other we’ll be alright.”

To Make You His Wife

Summary: Bucky wanted to ask you to become his wife the day he met you. And now he finally bought the ring to propose.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Word Count: 1,570

Warnings: fluff/angst

A/N: I got this idea while I was reading “Thinking Out Loud” by @bovaria and I couldn’t stop thinking about it since then. Please tell me what you think!

“It’s a beautiful ring”, Wanda exclaimed as Bucky showed her the ring he and Steve had bought not only an hour ago. It was the ring you’d seen a few months ago while walking with Bucky through the city after having dinner together at your favorite italian restaurant. The two of you had been walking down the shopping promenade and looked through the windows of the already closed shops when you spotted the ring through the window of your favorite jeweller. 

Excitedly you had shown the ring to Bucky and since the moment he had seen your eyes lit up when you pointed at the ring, he had known that this was the ring that he would use to propose to you. 

Keep reading

Unwavering Presence Chapter 12

Cassian X Archeron Sister (Reader)

Summary: Cassian and Y/N both have a nightmare and look for comfort within each other. Spending a week out in pure bliss of cooking, meeting with a sweet Illyrian girl and snuggling in bed the couple hit a snag in the road.

Content Warning: Nightmares that depict murder, Asphyxiation, mention of wing clipping and scars. Weaponizing trauma against a victim and cliffhanger

Word Count:4.6K words

Banner used by @saradika

A/N: the last few sneak peeks I posted about are not in here but will be in the next one, I'm so sorry this took so long I was in a funk I couldn't shake! Though I'm not sorry for the cliffhanger.

ACOTAR MASTERLST

My arms were pinned above my head with Xavier’s hand gripping both of my wrists tightly. I writhed under him as he pawed at me. “Dolls, don’t move this much.” With his free hand he gripped my neck and forced his tongue down my throat as he pressed his length against me. Tears warmed my cheeks as my moan of agony was swallowed up by his mouth. “Shhh. It’s alright, it’ll be over soon.” He whispered over my lips as he slanted them down over mine again and I began to squirm. Xavier released the grip of my neck, his leather clad finger touching down my naked body. Until he reached my clit, and I gasped causing him to slither his tongue into my locking me tightly into place as he began to play with me like a toy.

I kept my eyes open as his disheveled blond hair fell forward from his face and tickled my collarbone. He moaned in my mouth as he slid a digit inside me, and I tried kicking my legs. Only the sharp sting of his hand against my core caused me to pause. “Stay still or I will get the spreader bar.” His blue eyes bore into mine with a seriousness that chilled my blood. “Do you understand?”

I steadied a breath, “Yes sir.”

He smiled, kissing me again, the feeling of his mouth on mine made me feel dirty and made me want to shrink into myself. Having enough I bit down on his bottom lip hard. He released me and I rose to my feet and tried to flee. His hand gripped my hair and I screamed, “No!” As Xavier yanked me back and forced me to my knees. “Get off me!” I shrieked.

“Let’s fix that mouth of yours, shall we?” He pressed the tip of his cock against my lips, the precum coating them, He released my hair only to pinch my nose. It didn’t take very long for my lungs to cry out for air, and I opened my mouth. Before he could do anything, a growl emulated from the corner, “Do not touch her.” Cassian’s voice grounded out. His siphons were the only thing I could distinguish as my vision was beginning to go out of focus.

Cassian had come for me, and when I turned to see him, silver glimmered in the illumination of the moonlight, and I screamed but it was too late. Graysen had taken the steel and sliced Cassian’s wings. “Cassian!” I cried out as the assault to his beautiful wings continued. I reached out for him only for Xavier to loop his arm around my waist. “Cassian!” He groaned on the floor, blood pooling underneath him. As I made another attempt to reach out to him. To have my fingertips reach his. “Please wake up, please wake up, Cassian.” I sobbed.

Bolting awake sweat raced down my back and face as I took in my surroundings, realizing I was in my room in the cabin and not in human lands. A little voice in the back of my mind kept saying:

Find him. Find him. Find him.

Rising from my bed I padded my way to the door to go find the General of the Night Courts Armies.

Cassian’s POV

 Screams erupted all around me as my brothers and I raided the camp in search of my mother. Her screams flooded the camp, and I locked eyes with Rhysand and with a dip of his chin I bolted to the sound of her screams. My lungs were burning as I pushed myself to run faster thought my mother's screams were still so far from me. The night breeze pierced my skin as I pushed forward as the outline of the camp came into view.

As I entered the threshold of the camp another bloodcurdling scream rang through the camp, no one stirred, no one came to her aid. Weaving through the makeshift cabins the silhouette of male and a kneeling female caught the corner of my gaze. I changed course and headed in the direction where my mother’s beautiful face came into view. Terror consumed her features as tears ran down her face. “I’m sorry, my sweet boy.” Her voice cracked and Cassian collapsed to his knees. Mother pulled his face close to hers, “Look at how you’ve grown, Sweetheart. I’m so proud of you.” She connected her forehead to mine, and I shut my eyes and took in her scent of snow and wildflowers.

“Cassian.” The voice caused my eyes to shoot open, and no longer was my mother’s eyes looking back at me but the familiar hues of Y/N. “Cass.” Her voice was shaky, and her fear was palpable.

I felt arms loop around mine and angrily yanking me back from the youngest Archeron sister, “No! Get off me!”  I thrashed as the two Illyrians pulled me away and the male that was behind Y/N lifted his battle Axe. My siphons roared to life and red power blasted from my body. The two warriors release me and I bolt toward, Y/N as the Axe slices through her neck.

I fall to my knees as the assassin drops the axe, “Long live the queen.” The male murmured barely falling to my ears as the gruesome scene laid bare in front of me.

I could feel the presence of my brothers as they approached and my tears turned into sobs as I lifted the body close to mine, Ignoring the fact her head was not attached and sobbed.

I bolted awake, sweat coating my skin and along my hair line. Pulling my hair up in a bun I sat at the edge of my bed trying to catch my breath. It took a few minutes before I took in my surroundings and realized that I was in the Cabin. Y/N’s room was right next to mine and just needing her in my arms I stood up and headed to find her.

Opening my door, I stepped out to find Y/N emerging from her room. Her face met mine and I could see the tear-soaked cheeks and her gaze met mine. “Hey.” She said tucking her bottom lip between her lips.

“Hey, you.” I gave her a small smile; I rubbed the back of my neck. “I was actually coming to find you.

“Oh?” She gave me a small tilt of her lips upward. “I was coming to find you too.”

Something warmed my chest at her words, and I held out my hand, “Come on, Princess.”

Y/N hesitated, then in a flash she slapped my hand away and wrapped her arms around my waist. Pressing her face into my chest. I heard her release a soft sigh as I coiled my arms around her. “I had a terrible dream.” She murmured.

I pressed my chin to the top of her head taking the scent in. She was here, she was alive, she was in my arms. “Me too,” my hand slides up her back and runs through her hair.

She sniffled and my body went rigid, “Graysen chopped your wings.” She whispered. She pulled back to look at them, her gaze was assessing, and I stilled as I realized she was checking for injuries.

I stroked my thumb against her cheek grabbing her attention, her eyes filled with worry.  “I’m okay, Princess, I flexed my wings so she can see they are uninjured. “My wings are perfectly fine.”

Y/N nodded, “What about you? You said you also had a nightmare,” Her voice a soft whisper and she gripped my hand, her soft fingers a stark contrast my calloused ones.

“I’m alright.” Her brows furrowed causing a little indent on her forehead. I leaned down pressing my lips where that crease resided and pulled away. Satisfaction bloomed in me as her face relaxed slightly, the wrinkles disappeared. I took her hand in my own and I quietly led her back to my room.

“Cassian What are you doing?” She questioned me as I opened my door.

“You have ruined my sleep schedule, Princess. If it’s alright with you, I would like you in my bed.”  Her cheeks tinted with the lightest shade of pink though panic enraptured her eyes, as if she was going back to a memory with Xavier. I tugged her hand lightly, “Hey no,” I leaned down to meet her eye level as my free hand gripped the back of her neck. “Come back to me, Sweetheart.” She blinked once… twice and there she was, my girl.  “I just want to hold you while we sleep.  Your presence comforts me.”  I chewed on the inside of my cheek at the admission.

Y/N gave me one of her toothy grins, one that could make me fall to my knees. “I’d like that. I sleep better when you’re close.”

I pressed my lips to hers for a moment and then kissed the tip of her nose, “Let’s get you to bed.” I adjusted my hands to hold her back and under her knees and picked her up and held her close to my chest. She gripped her arms around my neck and her Jasmine scent immediately calmed me.  “You died.” I whispered as I kicked the door shut behind me and continued and made strides to the bed. I placed her down at the edge of the bed.

Crawling in next to her, she laid her back, her kind warm eyes never leaving mine. “I what?”

Lying on my side and wrapping my arm around her stomach pulling her close. I nuzzled my face in her neck, peppering it with soft featherlight kisses moving up to her jaw and pressing my forehead to the side of her face, “In my nightmare.” I murmur against her skin. “I watched you get slaughtered in my dream. It started off with me looking for my mother and when I found her, she morphed into you.” I could hear her heart begin to race and I tried to rub soothing circles against her clothed side to calm her. “I watched you die. I just…” I paused and released a sigh, pulling away from her. Laying on my back fanning out my wings holding my hand out and felt her soft hand slip into mine and my fingers curled around hers. “I just needed a reminder that you were ok, that you were alive.”

“Darling,” Y/N whispered shifting on the bed and could feel her facing me. “Look at me.” I refused, she pulled her hand away from mine and her cool delicate fingers found my cheek and she lightly pushed my face to meet hers and her eyes held nothing, but warmth and comfort and I could feel a tug at my chest. She sat back, adjusting the pillows against the headboard as she sat back. Her hand still touching my face she lightly tugged, “Come here, Cassian.”

The tone of her voice made me move, and I braced my arms on both sides of her hips, a few loose strands falling from my bun. She swiped them out of my face and then she patted her chest, “Lie down,” My body obeyed her command instantly my arms slid around and gripped her back. My ear pressed against her breast where her heart held a steady strong beat. She was showing me that she was alive. She tugged the bun from my hair, and it cascaded down in every direction. As if she could sense my need for her touch, she began running her fingers through my hair. “Feyre would do this for me when I had a bad dream. Especially when I left Xavier. This was the best thing she could come up with to calm me.”

“Remind me to get her flowers before we go home?” I grumbled, snuggling my head deeper into her chest. “This is nice.”

Y/N kisses the top of my head and begins to hum a soft tune, after a few moments the hums turned into words, and she began to softly sing in my ear. A lullaby I was unfamiliar with. Though I can’t focus on the words as her soft melodic tone seeped into my bones and wrapped around my soul. Her beautiful voice, her fingers massaging my scalp and her strong pulse ringing in my ear my eyes grow heavy. Before slumber can pull me under, I could have sworn she whispered, “It belongs to you anyway.” Then sleep consumed me.

I stirred the next morning to find my head pressed against a pillow.  I lifted my head up blinking away the sleep and found the side of the bed cold. Pans collapsing and clanging on the ground in the kitchen followed by a slew of curses had me sliding out of bed, tying my hair back and following the sound. Making sure to quiet my footsteps I leaned against the door frame leading into the kitchen. Y/N was grumbling picking up the scattered cook wearing her hair in a braid that looked disheveled. Her cheeks were flushed, and I couldn’t help but admire her plump ass as she bent over to put things away, fighting the urge to collide my hand against it with a sharp slap. As she stood, and grabbed something off the counter, I made my presence known, “What’s going on in here?”

Y/N must not have noticed I was here because she jumped and in doing so the contents of the bowl she was holding flew in the air and landing all over her. She turned to look at me and pushed out her bottom lip, “You ruined my surprise.” She mumbled, shaking her head to get the flour out of her hair; a plume of flour swirls around her.

I pushed off the doorframe and approached her as I fought the laughter from escaping my lips. I looked at the contents on the table and my chest heaved. “You were trying to make breakfast?”

The youngest Archeron sighed in defeat, “You were upset last night because of your dream, and you made breakfast for me when I was upset. I was trying to do the same.” She looked at the mess in the kitchen, “Clearly, its not working out and I woke you up in the process. I’m sorry.”

This time I do laugh, and she tucks her head down in embarrassment. I lift her face and wipe some of the flour off her face. “My sweet, Princess. You’re cute. How about this. You go get cleaned off. I will clean up here and we can cook together.

Her face lit up, “Really?” I nodded and she smiled, “I’ll be right back.” She bolts out of the room and called out, “I’ll bring you down a shirt.”

I chuckled and began cleaning up.

The smell of eggs wafted through the kitchen as Y/N whisked the mixture for pancakes and I fried our eggs. She was swaying her hips dancing to whatever melody was in her head, “Do you always do that?”

She turned continuing her little dance moves as she poured the batter onto the pan, “Do what?” Pulling away when she gets a few perfect circles on the pan.

“Dance when you’re doing something?” She looked up and the dancing stopped as she thought about it.

“I guess I never noticed before.” She placed the bowl down, and held out her hand, “May I have this dance, General?” She wiggled her eyebrows her hair neatly put up a Violet bow in her hair wearing her leathers.

I flipped the eggs and glanced at her from my periphery and her eyes shifted from playful to soft and pleading her lips pushed out in a pout. Knowing that I could deny her nothing I tucked in my wings and gripped her hand in mine and my other around her waist as her hand rested on my bicep. I began to sway with her in the kitchen, flexing my bicep muscle every now and then. “We might burn the food.” I pointed her out as spun her around and pulled her back into my arms.

“We might,” She hummed. She smiled, “But we’ll at least have some fun.”  

I rolled my eyes and tapped her butt. “I don’t like wasting food, back to the pancakes, Princess.”

She grumbled and crossed her arms but made her way back to the pancakes and flipped them. Y/N proceeded to swish her hips and as we finished making breakfast, I found myself moving my hips along with her and getting swept up by the invisible beat she was dancing to.

When we finished eating our breakfast, I pressed my lips in a tight line watching as the sun gleamed on Y.N as if the mother was praising her handy work in how beautiful she made her. My lips turned upward as she furiously scratched words into her journal. She was focused and I rubbed at my chest trying to ease the tightness there. “I have a favor to ask of you.”

Y/N looked up from her journal and the sun glinted around her hair like a halo, “Sure. What’s up?”

“The other day when I had to leave because there was an incident that happened at the camp.” She tilted her head and I continued, “A little girl had her wings clipped. It’s a terrible tradition my people have when a girl has their first bleed. They take away their ability to fly, so they can focus on doing housework. It was one of the first thing that was banned when Rhys came into power, but the leaders of the camps still find work arounds.”

There was a tick in Y/N’s jaw, her eyes becoming glassy. She cleared her throat, “That’s horrific. We can discuss that later though, what’s the favor?” She shut the notebook and straightened her posture she reminded me of a solider waiting for orders.

“The little girl, Grace is her name, asked if I could bring you over to visit.” I smiled as her face shifted to one of shock. “She wanted to meet the human who saved her and her family.”

Y/N stood up and pressed a hand to her chest, “I would be honored. Can we go now?”

“Of course, Princess. Let’s get going.”

 We landed back into the camps and placed Y/N down and gripped her hand and walked her over to one of the cabins. She squeezed my hand and took a deep breath. Once we reached the front door Y/N knocked twice and waited as she shifted her weight from one leg to the other. “You, okay?”

She simply nodded and before she could speak the door opened and both of us had to look down to find Grace looking back up at us. “Hi Cassie! She ran up and hugged my legs. I pressed my hand on the back of her head, my grin growing wide.

“Hi, Little one.” I said and got down on a bended knee and held her tiny hands, “How are you feeling?”

Her eyes beamed, “I feel so strong, though my wings hurt when I stretch them. Will that ever go away?” I opened and shut my mouth unsure what to say but then Y/N cleared her throat and saw Grace realized there was another person with me. “It will pass, with time though every now and again it will throb. It will be more uncomfortable than painful.” She whispered and got down on her knee. “I’m Y/N, I heard your name is Grace.”

Grace lit up at the sound of her name, “Cassie, you kept your promise!”

I placed a hand on my chest in mock offense, “I’m sorry as your General I always keep my promises.”

Grace moved from my embrace and walked toward Y/N grabbing her hand and leading her inside the cabin and I followed behind the two girls. I was greeted by Grace’s mother, her brown hair pinned up, her wings tucked tightly, and she pressed a hand on my arm, “Thank you, General. She hasn’t stopped talking about being brave for her Cassie. Your kindness has made this whole situation easier for both of us.”

I held her hand gently in mind and gave it a squeeze, “I’m sorry, I wasn’t there sooner. I wish I could have prevented it.”

Grace’s mother provided a small, “It may not have been preventable, General.”

“Please call me, Cassian.”  I smiled.

“Diana,” She returned, “Go on Gracie. hasn’t stopped talking about you bring Y/N here.”

I walked deeper into the cabin in the common living space to see Gracie drawing and Y/N coloring alongside her. “Y/N where you hurt like I was?”

I stilled and watched as Y/N’s posture stiffened though she gave a smile, “Yes, a bad man hurt me. I have scars on my back because of it. But we do share one thing in common with each other.”

Grace eyes grew wide, “We do?”

Y/N nodded her body relaxing once more, “Cassian came to help us, when we needed him most.” Gracie looked over to where I was standing. Y/N’s gaze was burning the side of my face and when I met her stare she smiled.  

“He is like a knight in shining armor saving the princess!” Gracie squealed. “We were the princess!”

I smiled and walked into the room, “You sure are!” Grace ran up to me and leapt into my arms and I was quick to catch her.  “Cassie, are you going to marry Y/N?”

Y/N coughed the air becoming tight with uncomfortable silence. I cleared my throat, “I have to know, curious girl, why would you ask that?” I tickled her sides, and she began to giggle.

“Well, you saved her from the bad man, and you were holding her hand when you walked in. You clearly love her.”

I looked at the woman in question her cheeks were flushed but she said, “Well, Cassian is a good male, he will always help someone in need. As for him holding my hand he is aware that I get nervous and fidget, he was trying to bring me comfort.”

Grace furrowed her brow, “But you two must get married. I know you love each other.”

Y/N smiled, “Tell you what we can revisit marriage when we come and visit again.”

Grace gasped, “You want to come visit again?”

I flicked the child’s nose, “Of course we’re coming back, I have to check the bravest female in windhaven.”

Grace puffed out her chest in pride. “I won’t let you down, Cassie.”

I nodded, “You never could!”

“Would you two like to stay for dinner?”

Grace smiled, “Yes they would,” there was no room for argument, and we stayed for dinner.

The next week, Y/N and I fell into a routine, meals together, she would go in the study and write as I went to the camps. We still had not heard from Rhys so I had to assume that they were still in the Summer Court. When I get back Y/N and I would make dinner together and then she would get into one of my shirts and I would hold her close to my chest and we would simply fall asleep.

One day I left for Windhaven to discuss some plans with Devlon and enforcing that the females are aloud to train.

Devlon crossed his arms, “They will train after their chores, Is that simply not good enough?”

I snarled, “They deserve to have the choice to not do the chores if they don’t want to.”

Devlon snorted, “Says the male who is parading human trash around, and she follows you around like a little pup.”

I bared my teeth at him, “Mind your place, Lord. She is under the protection of your High Lord. Your just mad she bruised your pride.”

Devlon lifted his chin the sign of pure arrogance, “I could care less of an opinion of someone beneath me as a human whore, who is sleeping with a bastard born brute.”

I clenched my fist as my jaw ticked, “I will not tolerate your tone, step out of line again, and I will be personally mandating all your men doing the chores while the girls will train.” I took a step closer to him, “I hear you say one more thing about Y/N Archeron, I will not hesitate to sink your teeth in. Are we in an understanding.”

Devlon walked around me and made sure to collide with my soldier, “The females will train. Get out of my Camp, General,” He drawled out my title and left the tent.

Frustration pent up I followed him out and took to the skies to head back to the Cabin.

Once I reached the Cabin, I noticed the fae lights still on, I was later than I anticipated, but I walked in and kicked the snow off my boot and slammed the door behind me. The anger stirring in my gut was festering and I didn’t want my princess to be subjected to that. I stomped up to my room and slammed the door. I sat on the bed and pressed my palm against my eyes to try to relieve the pressure that had started to bloom in my head.

There was a soft knock on my door. “Cass? Are you okay?”

“Go away, Princess.” I murmured and pressed my palm deeper into my eyes. As the door opened.

I heard her footsteps growing near her and I pulled my hands away from my face and leveled a glare at her. She paused and retreated a step, “I wanted to make sure you were okay.” She spoke quietly, my eyes glazed to her hands where she was picking at her nails, she was nervous. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. I’m fine. I want to be alone.” I barked out. Sighing, I ran my fingers through my hair.

When I looked back at her she looked stricken, as if I hit her.  She pressed “Cass, let me help.”

I snorted my rage boiling over as I rose to my feet, and she took an instinctive step back. I barely registered the fear in her eyes, “Tell me, Y/N, how could you help me. You can barely help yourself. Always hoping someone will save you; Rhys, Az, Feyre, are you that incompetent of taking care of yourself. That you resorted to sleeping with an abusive-“

I didn’t get the sentence out before her hand collided with my cheek. “You know I was coming to check if you were okay. I did not expect you to be a prick. I made dinner all by myself, so you came home to warm meal.” Guilt washed over me at her words, “Whenever you feel like acting like a grown adult; come join me.” She turned and headed for the door, “I don’t need a reminder about how low and insignificant I am.” She taps her head, “I hear those words repeatedly in my head, and yet Nesta had never failed to remind me of just how worthless, and beneath her I am.” Her voice cracked and it matched the ache in my heart, “I never thought you would stoop so low.”

Looking up at me I could see the hurt in her tender eyes. “Princess, Wait.” Her shutting the door; the solitary clicks of the door meeting its latch, was the only sound in the room.

For a moment I stared at the empty space where she had stood, then I crumpled to my knees. Tugging at my hair, my brain began to whirl, Hurt, Hurt, Hurt. You Hurt her. I had made her feel the same way she felt with Xavier and Nesta. “What. Have. I. Done?” I whispered as I curled in a ball my wings cocooning me, trying to block out the sobs I heard coming from the other room.

I am a monster.

To be continued...

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