I Wish There Was Some Way For Us To Go Back And Undo The Past, But There Wasn't. Mysterious Skin (2005)

I didnt feel very whimsical or creative today. its okay, tomorrow will be better

Le Diable, probablement (Robert Bresson, 1977)

MySims ♥ 2007

velvet ring by big thief is my gospel

@mothercain. “† † †” twitter, 30 apr 2021.

ive always been in my own little world when i was a kid i didnt really care about what others thought of me

i have 2 movie recommendations for you, if you would like them. idlove to hear your thoughts on them.... spun & i heart huckabees (if you are struggling to find a place to watch them lmk and ill see if i can help you out ...) Btw no worries if you dont want recs 🕊

hiii scott tysm for the recs!! ill check them out as soon as i can cause the plot seems rlly interesting. i appreciate it a lot ill lyk if i cant find them ^_^

in my garden, you laid down on the grass

it left a bed in your shape.

itll stay with me for as long as i live.

i was never that special to you,

you might have forgot you were here at all.

But im still here, im still cold

despite the fresh air, despite the warm sun

mysterious skin: review ^_^

☆ 5/5 14/1/25

i have seen this movie a while back admittedly but i still rlly rlly wanna talk about it

i think a something really interesting about this film is the way that the story is told. the narrator voice is joseph gordon levitt when talking about both brian and neil. it felt a bit disorienting and almost as if the two boys were one, which might have been intentional as a way to make it known that they are in a way the same having went through the same thing together.

the movie starts focusing on brian who, contrary to neil, cant remember any of the abuse when he grows older. the movie sets this paranormal sci-fi atmosphere with brian feeling sick and seeing these beacons of light. i think its a great introduction to the movie, it really hooks the viewer, setting a mystery for them to immediately interested in and the way it immediately cuts to niels story leaves you wondering about their connection.

during the duration it feels like youre following two separate movies. niels problematic coping through his emotions and distress and brians search for the truth about his childhood. i think it really was porpuseful to really set them apart from one another

the tone of the scenes with neil vs the ones with brian is very different. niel is almost always shown in the dark while brains in the light and more open environments. neils shown in the park alone at night, isolated while brains is in safer more welcoming looking environments.

something that really stands out is the general atmosphere that is created by the way the scenes are shot. there are lots of close ups of the characters it feels like youre invading a private conversation between them. in the flashbacks this feeling grows with the detail shots of the characters features. there are lots of moments of the characters looking into the camera too, which for me has a double effect. both intrusive and emotional, the close ups of young neil looking into the camera feel almost like a cry for help like he wasnt to be seen, while the shots of older neil looking into the camera feel intrusive almost like he doesnt want the viewer to see.

one of the emotional high points of the film comes before neil leaves for new york. hes going around town for one final time and stops at the coaches house. hes unable to go in and only looks at it, thinking back to the abuse he went through. while throughout the movie he always justifies it in some way this is a moment of total clarity for neil where hes able to express his true feelings around the situation. its visually gorgeous with a really nice use of lighting and its so well written aswell it really sticks with you. its a really standout moment of a movie that to me is overall pretty unforgettable

neil eventually moves to new york with wendy, something that would be a fully fresh start for him if it wasnt for him falling back into his line of work as a prostitute for older men. new york is more dangerous than his small town and he finds himself in more dangerous situations

after one of the most intense and hard to watch scenes of abuse in the movie the story comes to a point thats the start of the conclusion. brain manages to find a way to reach neil through his friendship with eric and after neils back from new york he can finally ask him what he knows about their childhood. were back at their coaches house where they break in to the home thats now empty. the coach literally left their life right after that summer, moving out to someplace new. neil takes him to the living room where the coach forced them to have sex with him. the next 5 or so minutes are neil telling the story to brian who blocked it out, during neils recounting he seems to be remembering it again from his own prospective. after the story brain starts crying and neil gives the most emotional speech in the movie as the camera floats above them, floating like an angel like neil describes, with christmas carolers underneath, singing

the scene is a beautiful moment both visually and as a moment between characters. i wanna say this is closure but it isnt, its a reopening of the events for the both of them really. despite this it leaves me feeling heartbroken for them but also hopeful now that theyve found eachother and can share this together and help eachother.

i think is flawless the performances are amazing and its beautifully directed. the only issue i personally have with it is the use of child actors for very explicit scenes. it was very uncomfortable to watch and i think this wouldnt have been allowed with modern child labour laws. other than that i really loved this movie from the scene composition to the soundtrack

I'm writing in my journal about different versions of me and what theyd do, so their parallel universe can open when i write about them and i get to live all those lives i dream of