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Whoever is reading this remember you're perfect xo

The Dance of Fate and Free Will

Do we really have free will, or is everything already mapped out for us?

It's the kind of question that's kept philosophers, poets, and theologians up at night for ages. Just asking it feels like standing on a beach, staring out at this massive ocean where what's logical and what's just plain mysterious kind of blend together. If it's all predetermined, then are our choices just an act? Are we just going through the motions in a play we didn't even write? But if we do have free will, then what's setting the limits on what we want, what we can do, and those invisible walls that pop up in our lives?

This push and pull – this back-and-forth between fate and our own choices – it's really what being human is all about, isn't it?

The Illusion of Choice

We like to think we're in the driver's seat, right? Every day, we get up and decide what to wear, what to eat, who to love, who to say goodbye to, and the kind of person we want to become. The world tells us if we just try hard enough, if we're disciplined and really want it, we can create any future we can imagine. "You can be anything," they say. But, can we, really?

Think about how life actually plays out. The family we're born into, the country we call home, the body we're in, those moments of pure luck or just plain bad luck that shape us – we didn't pick any of that. Someone born into a wealthy family in a rich country will never know what it's like for a kid born into war somewhere else. Someone who bumps into their soulmate on a train – are they really more deserving of love than someone who just happened to be on a different train that day? So much of who we become, it's just not in our hands, no matter how much we wish it was.

Even neuroscientists are saying our brains make decisions before we even realize it. If a machine can guess which button you're gonna press before you even "choose" it, what does that tell us about free will? Are we just following a script, but we're tricked into thinking we're the ones writing it?

The Beauty of Predestination

And yet, there's something strangely comforting about the idea that it's all already decided. If fate is a real thing, then nothing is truly wasted. The heartbreaks, the screw-ups, the chances we missed – they all had to happen exactly like they did. You were never meant to end up with that person, never meant to get that job, never meant to be anywhere else but right here, right now. In a way, it takes this huge, exhausting weight of regret right off our shoulders.

Some of the most peaceful people I've ever met are the ones who truly believe in destiny. They just trust that what's meant for them will find them, and what's not will just fade away. They move through life with this quiet confidence, like they're not even bothered by problems. There's a kind of beauty in just letting go and going with the flow, seeing life as something that just unfolds, instead of something we have to fight and control all the time.

But Then Again, What If?

But even if it's all predetermined, does that mean we should just give up and do nothing? If a river already knows it's going to end up in the ocean, does it just stop flowing?

Maybe free will isn't about controlling everything, the whole grand plan, but about how we feel it. Maybe the whole point is just the joy of making choices, of having dreams, of just acting on whatever we feel like doing in the moment. Even if your future is set in stone, isn't there something exciting about not knowing what's around the corner? If fate is real, then so is the amazing thing of being clueless about it. You still get to feel things, to move, to chase after whatever calls to you. And isn't that a kind of freedom in itself?

Think about this: Say your fate is to become a painter. But the second you pick up a brush for the first time, it just clicks. It feels like your choice, like you discovered something amazing. That feeling of joy, it was always going to happen, but that doesn't make it any less real, does it? Maybe you were always meant to read this, to think about this, to feel that little spark of "aha!" Maybe even the feeling of free will is part of the plan, and isn't that actually kind of a relief?

So, whether you're team fate or team free will, live like your choices actually matter. Love like it wasn't already written in the stars. Create like it wasn't a done deal. Because, when you think about it, if destiny does exist, it's probably already figured in your rebellious side anyway.

With thoughts of G♡

Thursday Musings - 060225

I was planning on rewatching Lucifer the whole day today but my cousin asked me to accompany her to the dentists office and since I wasn't sure where I'd take a 15hr trip to the other side of the country or not, she advised me to pack a carry on bag incase my aunty calls and tells me that the solo trip is still on while we are still at the dentist's.

Guess what 😃

My aunty called and told me I should pack up and head to the bus station, but good thing I already had the bag with me at the dentist I guess

Well, as you may have guessed by now, I am Not thrilled about this, as I type this my butt cheeks are losing feeling and blood circulation it's not even funny haha 😐

10 more hours to go :D

2/10 day, (told you it would be worse) would've been a zero but I downloaded the entire SZN 1 of lucifer on Netflix and boy is he hot and cocky (just how I like em)

Monday Musings - 030225

Today was a 7/10 kind of day—pleasant, with moments of comfort and chaos all together.

The morning started off easy, though I felt a little achy. Still, nothing a good breakfast couldn’t fix. I made my uncle’s meal and treated myself to a sausage sandwich—sautéed sausage and veggies tucked between slices of bread, crisped to perfection in the sandwich maker. Paired with white coffee, it was divine. I might switch things up with pancakes the day after tomorrow.

Then came the mall run. I stocked up on fruits and juice boxes for my little cousin’s lunch, got bread for tomorrow’s breakfast, and picked up kale and spinach for dinner. The plan was to buy liver, but the supermarket had none—so I went with goat instead. A blessing in disguise, because the goat soup we made turned out amazing. Rich, hearty, with mixed greens on the side—chef’s kiss.

The afternoon took a turn. We left for my sister’s place, a trip that should’ve been 30–40 minutes but stretched into a nightmare of traffic. An hour and 35 minutes of constant stopping and starting left me car sick beyond belief. The nausea was unbearable, so I did the only reasonable thing—knocked out and slept through it.

Once we arrived, the visit was lovely. My uncle had his time with my sister before his travels, and we stayed until nightfall. The drive back? A blessing—30 minutes, no sickness, just a smooth ride home. A peaceful ending to a day that had its ups and downs.

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Lucifer 😩, not so painful cramps, hot water bottle, ices coffee, green tea, Luci, folded laundry, oh did I mention Lucifer? Lucifer😽

7/10 day but feeling like a 10/10

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😭

oh to be loved, to be adored, to be obsessed over, to be noticed, to be heard, to be touched, to be desired

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First of all, and most importantly :

Alright then friend 👏

I saw other's march resolutions and added them to mine!

1. Find my thing –

Maybe it’s calligraphy, maybe it’s journaling with my bougie burgundy ink, maybe it’s playing chess in random places like a movie character… IDK, but I wanna start doing one of these consistently.

2. Upgrade my self-care, but in an “I barely tried” way –

Dry brushing before showers? Adding a lil’ dusting powder to my routine? Romanticizing my nail care? Just small tweaks to feel ✨ put together ✨ without effort.

3. Make my breakfasts pretty –

No more sad meals. Oat bowls, chia pudding, cute little clean girl plates; I deserve to wake up to aesthetic nourishment

4. Be mysterious in public –

Take a book or notebook to a café, maybe even write something cryptic. No phone scrolling, just pure main character energy.

5. Actually post on my website or YouTube at least ONCE –

No pressure, no perfectionism, just one thing to keep the creative flow going. I've already posted on my secret YouTube channel in both January and February; hopefully, I won't forget this month. However, the website...

6. Own ONE beautiful pen & make it my entire personality –

Maybe it’s a fountain pen, maybe it’s deep burgundy ink, but it has to feel

✨ significant ✨.

7. Find my signature scent & commit to it -

No more being indecisive. One perfume, one body oil, one dusting powder, I want people to associate a scent with me.

8. Buy ONE cool nostalgic gadget –

A flip phone, a Walkman, a Gameboy; something that makes me feel like I exist in my own timeline. I'll start with a flip phone but the ones I desire aren't available in my country 💔.

9. Get into a “smart girl” activity –

Sudoku, crossword puzzles, chess, calligraphy, collecting physical newspapers… something that makes me feel like an intellectual femme fatale. And no, it's not because the TikTok girls are yelling at me to be a 'smart girl'; I'm just genuinely tired of seeing myself like this. I want to be smarter, back to the old me.

10. Romanticize my grocery shopping –

Only buying food that fits the vision:

fresh bread, fancy butter, crunchy greens, avocados, dark chocolate, fancy salt (I’m eating like a Parisian poet.)

11. Be That Girl™ at the library –

Engage with specialized literature, take notes in the margins, and perhaps leave a tasteful anonymous note in a book for another reader to discover. 🤭 (I may be somewhat out of touch with reality).

12. Curate a tiny aesthetic corner in my room-

It could be a pretty tray with perfumes, a quick arts setup, or a candle-lit nightstand with my current reads. Just something that feels intentionally like me. Oh, I think a cute workout corner would be so me and motivational.

13. Get better at money but make it cute –

Set up a cash binder or start saving for one special thing (a new piercing, a luxury tea set, a really good pen? Who knows, most likely a piercing).

14. Wear something intentionally beautiful, even at home –

Silk pajamas? An old-money bathrobe? A delicate lace top? The standard for me is romanticized comfort.

15. Leave my house looking effortlessly elegant at least ONCE a week –

No more 'I just threw this on' when I actually just threw something on; a planned, unbothered but stunning outfit.

16. Sit outside for 10 minutes a day & just exist –

I am choosing to observe life without distractions, romanticizing the gentle wind, and letting others speculate about my thoughts.

17. Write one poetic sentence every day –

It could be in my journal, on my website, in the Notes app, or even just a phrase I think to myself.

18. Become an enigma (my friend's favourite word) –

Less talking, more observing. Text like I've got a secret. Smile like I know something they don't. Mwhehehe x.

Motto of my March:

Live at a leisurely pace while being attentive; we all share this beautiful earth and the same 24 hours, no more, no less.

Cramps are killing meeeeeeeeeeeeeee

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Made French toast for breakfast today. I know I said I'd fast to 3pm but I had French toast calling me in my SLEEP, but I compensated by eating dinner early to fast early #girlmath.

I've been searching for and about cassettes all day, I need one, someone donate a box of cassettes and a portable cassette player plz 😫 pretty plz 💔.

Also that drawing is the closest thing you'll ever get to see of my actual face, it's incomplete but that basically how I look like :)