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Got a sudoku puzzles book, I think I've completed intellectual girl status. I don't have much to say tho,

Peace out x

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Made French toast for breakfast today. I know I said I'd fast to 3pm but I had French toast calling me in my SLEEP, but I compensated by eating dinner early to fast early #girlmath.

I've been searching for and about cassettes all day, I need one, someone donate a box of cassettes and a portable cassette player plz 😫 pretty plz 💔.

Also that drawing is the closest thing you'll ever get to see of my actual face, it's incomplete but that basically how I look like :)

Your Life’s Not Boring—You’re Just on Your Phone Too Much

If you’ve been feeling glued to your phone—especially apps like TikTok and Instagram—you’re not alone. So many of us are stuck in this loop, and it can seriously mess with our energy, motivation, and overall health.

One thing I’ve struggled most with lately is comparison. Feeling like what I do just isn’t... enough. If you’ve felt that too, this post is for us both. A little reminder that:

✨ You are enough, just as you are. ✨ You’ve survived every hard day, and your inner child and I are so proud of you. Don't ever forget how far you've come as a person! If all you did was make your bed and hydrate today, that's a win worth celebrating. You're doing just fine, and you'll do all that you wish to on your own divine timing.

And yes, your life isn’t boring. You might just be too distracted to see how beautiful it really is. So instead of escaping it, let’s try to romanticize it!

10 Ways to Romanticize Your Life & Be More Present

Wake up a little earlier. It doesn’t have to be 5 AM (unless that’s your thing). Even an hour earlier can give you quiet time to get things done without distractions.

Take an "everything shower." These are pretty meditative for me in a way. I like to imagine the water washing off all my stress and stagnant energy I may have accumulated throughout the day. Like a reset button!

Make a breakfast you’d actually get out of bed early for. Pancakes? Fruit? Whatever makes your inner child happy.

Play jazz or soft instrumentals while doing everyday activities. Instant cozy vibes.

Read outside. Sitting on your porch or even by a window gives you that vitamin D and a fresh perspective.

Find a screen-less hobby you enjoy. Try crochet, painting, poetry, LEGO kits, pottery, etc. Block-building kits are my fave—they’re so fun and satisfying. Just remember to take breaks and stretch!

Re-watch something comforting or start something new. That show you keep skipping past might become your next obsession.

Connect. If you’ve been stuck in your room all day, talk to someone. Call a friend, hug your pet, or chat with family. A quick convo with my mom always boosts my mood!

Learn something new! When was the last time you went out of your way to explore something you didn’t already know? (and nope, school doesn’t count.) Take a moment to find a subject you’ve never looked into or dive deeper into one you already know a little about. Pick up on a new language, study an unfamiliar culture, or even try learning a random skill just for fun. Expanding your mind keeps life feeling fresh and exciting.

Travel (if you can). I can't stress this one enough!! Even just getting out of town for a single 24 hours can give you a whole new perspective. A change of scenery does wonders, especially when life feels repetitive. It doesn't have to be far, either. You can travel to the next city over and explore what it's like there!

Remember: Social media is NOT real life. That influencer who’s always partying in Miami with a closet full of designer bags? You’re seeing their highlight reel, not the full picture. Some even goes as far as faking luxury lifestyles for the views. Don’t compare your behind-the-scenes to someone else’s curated feed. At the end of the day, it's all for the aesthetics/entertainment.

Be gentle with yourself. You're doing better than you think, angel. xo, Kay 🪽

I know I just posted this, but writing that made me feel so eerily calm that I got scared for a second, I hear the constant ringing of the night and quiet, the occasional chirps of crickets or other living things I probably don't know about. No music blasting in my eardrums from trying to drown everything to feel functional, just the reassuring sound of snores coming from the room next to mine, my ringlight casting a dim warm light in my room, my blanket feels just as warm it feels silly to have my heater in the room. I feel aware, and I'm loving it.

Please, angels in the four corners of my bed, don't take this feeling away.

Monday Musings - 030225

Today was a 7/10 kind of day—pleasant, with moments of comfort and chaos all together.

The morning started off easy, though I felt a little achy. Still, nothing a good breakfast couldn’t fix. I made my uncle’s meal and treated myself to a sausage sandwich—sautéed sausage and veggies tucked between slices of bread, crisped to perfection in the sandwich maker. Paired with white coffee, it was divine. I might switch things up with pancakes the day after tomorrow.

Then came the mall run. I stocked up on fruits and juice boxes for my little cousin’s lunch, got bread for tomorrow’s breakfast, and picked up kale and spinach for dinner. The plan was to buy liver, but the supermarket had none—so I went with goat instead. A blessing in disguise, because the goat soup we made turned out amazing. Rich, hearty, with mixed greens on the side—chef’s kiss.

The afternoon took a turn. We left for my sister’s place, a trip that should’ve been 30–40 minutes but stretched into a nightmare of traffic. An hour and 35 minutes of constant stopping and starting left me car sick beyond belief. The nausea was unbearable, so I did the only reasonable thing—knocked out and slept through it.

Once we arrived, the visit was lovely. My uncle had his time with my sister before his travels, and we stayed until nightfall. The drive back? A blessing—30 minutes, no sickness, just a smooth ride home. A peaceful ending to a day that had its ups and downs.

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I have been WAITING for this day yall 😭

Washed my laundry, and undid my overdue braids, watched House, while on call with my BFF while doing my sudoku

Today is 26th of May 2025

I just finished House M.D., and it’s got me messed up in the most beautiful way. This show didn’t just entertain me, it gave me something to wake up for, something to stretch the days around. I’d pace myself like it was a slow-burning love affair, knowing I’d mourn the end even before I got there. And now? Yeah. I’m in mourning.

Every episode, every character, I loved all of it. No skips. No fillers. Just layered, painful, brilliant storytelling. And that extra episode Hugh Laurie directed? It cracked open my respect for the whole damn industry. You can tell when an actor bleeds for a role, and baby, he bled for House.

This show wasn’t just a distraction... it was an escape that made me feel more present than real life sometimes. Now that it’s over, I already want to rewatch it. I already miss it. But not in a “rewind the fun” kind of way—more like visiting an old ghost who used to hold your hand while you cried.

And yeah, it hurts knowing I’ll never get that first-time magic back. I envy new fans. I envy not knowing what’s coming. Out of every show I could’ve chosen, I picked this one, and I stuck to it, to the bitter, bittersweet end.

I didn’t think I could love 177 episodes of a limping, sarcastic, drug-addicted genius who pushes everyone away.....but I did. I do. I loved him when he was cruel, when he was right, when he was spiraling, when he tried. Every twitch of those haunted eyes told me he wanted to be saved, even if he didn’t believe in salvation.

And now here I am, broken-hearted and grateful. Because if you're gonna fall for a show, fall for one that ruins you this perfectly.

Mazel Tov.

what was it all for? 110225

I had a conversation with my aunt today. University came up. And for the first time in years, she said, “You should do what you love. I don’t want you to do something just because other people tell you to. It’s your life.”

And I just sat there. Because what the fuck?

Where was this energy when you told me art is just a hobby? When you told me I had to do architecture because money? When I spent years convincing myself that the thing I loved most in this world wasn’t real enough, wasn’t valuable enough to be my future?

Where was this when I forced myself through physics and math, subjects that drained me, killed my confidence, made me feel stupid and small? Where was this when I spent night after night feeling like a failure because I couldn’t mold myself into what you wanted?

And now, after all that, you’re suddenly saying, “Yeah, do what you love.” Like I didn’t just lose years of my life trying to be something I’m not. Like I didn’t break myself over and over again trying to meet your expectations.

And the worst part? I don’t even think she realizes how much this is fucking me up. How much I hate that she can just say that now, like it’s easy, like it doesn’t matter that I wasted years of my life because I thought I had no choice.

It’s like someone keeping you in a cage your whole life, telling you there’s no way out, telling you it’s for your own good. And then one day, they just open the door and go, “Oh, you can leave if you want.” And you’re standing there, shaking, realizing you could’ve walked out a long time ago.

And now I’m supposed to feel grateful? Relieved?

I don’t. I feel angry. I feel lost. I feel like I want to cry and scream and tear my own skin off because what was it all for?

I could’ve taken art in Year 12. I could’ve gotten A*s. I could’ve been confident in my skills instead of scrambling to prove to myself that I’m not a fucking idiot. I could’ve spent those years thriving instead of suffering.

But no. I had to do physics. I had to do math. I had to sit in classrooms where nothing made sense and watch my grades drop and feel like I was slowly disappearing.

And now you tell me it’s okay, I can do art? NOW?

And what if I do? What if I actually go ahead with it? Is she secretly going to sit there thinking, damn, she should’ve done architecture? Will she be supportive on the surface but secretly waiting for me to fail? To regret it?

Because that’s the thing with African guardians. You never really know what they’re thinking. They’ll say one thing but mean something else. They’ll act like they support you, but in their head, they’re already preparing for the “I told you so.”

And maybe that’s what scares me the most. That no matter what I do, I’ll always feel like I’m on the verge of disappointing them.

I hate this. I hate that I even have to feel this way. I hate that the thing that makes me happiest in the world is the thing that feels like the biggest risk. I hate that I’m still here, questioning myself, wondering if I’m making a mistake just because they made me believe it was one for so long.

And I can’t help but think… if I had been allowed to just be myself from the start, if I had been supported instead of redirected, maybe none of this would even be a question.

apologise for the vent, for souring your scroll, but I feel like I'm at my limit, this has tangled up my brain, and as scary as it sounds I feel hopeless, pointless, I don't fucking know, I don't want to think any more. Fuck.

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Woke up, went for parents meeting on behalf of aunty, came home, went to airport to drop off uncle, he is travelling at night, came home, extremely tired and dehydrated for some reason so now I think I'm getting a headache :D

4/10 day, and it's gonna be worse tomorrow

bye.

⑅ Self Discipline ⑅

Self-discipline is like having a personal cheerleader in your head, helping you stay focused and achieve your goals. It's the ability to control and direct yourself, making choices that align with your long-term objectives rather than giving in to immediate impulses. Think of it as the secret sauce for personal growth, productivity, and success. It involves setting priorities, making conscious decisions, and consistently putting in effort to reach your desired outcomes. Self-discipline empowers you to stay on track, overcome challenges, and ultimately become the best version of yourself.

Let's break down the essence of self-discipline in dfrnt aspects of your life

1. Morning Routine Magic:

Your morning routine is like crafting a daily sanctuary. Beyond skincare, imagine incorporating moments of tranquility like yoga or a quick workout. It's not just a checklist; it's setting the stage for a day of conquering.

2. To-Do List Love:

Your to-do list is a dynamic tool, more than a mere inventory of tasks. It's a glam planner, outlining your roadmap to success. Writing down your ambitions transforms them into tangible goals, making the conquest all the more empowering.

3. Snack on Goals, Not Junk:

Goals aren't just targets; they're your daily sustenance. Instead of mindless snacking, consider each accomplished task as a delicious victory bite, satisfying your hunger for achievement.

4. Wardrobe Power Moves:

Dressing for success isn't a superficial act; it's about embodying confidence. Your outfit becomes a statement, shaping your mindset for the day. It's akin to wearing a tangible boost of self-assurance. I want you to wear for the day you want, not the day you have !!!

5. Breaks Aren't Breakdowns:

Taking breaks is a strategic recharge, not a sign of weakness. It's not about slacking off but strategically powering up. These moments are not breakdowns; they are breakthroughs, allowing you to return with renewed sparkle. So don't beat yourself up when your really need the rest :)

6. Learn, Don't Stress:

In the face of challenges, see them as opportunities for growth. Self-discipline is not a pursuit of perfection but a commitment to a journey of continual learning. Remember, nobody is born with all the answers; it's about evolving.

7. Consistency is the Glow-Up Secret:

Consistency is more than a routine; it's the highlighter of your life's narrative. It infuses your journey with an extra pop, turning the ordinary into the extraordinary. Even on tough days, maintaining consistency becomes your guiding light.

8. Celebrate Small Wins:

Every step toward your goals, irrespective of size, is a cause for celebration. It's not just recognizing achievements; it's throwing a confetti party for yourself. Celebrate not just the destination but the entire journey.

9. Consistent Routine:

Envision self-discipline as a daily sanctuary, akin to your skincare routine. Skipping it is like neglecting a crucial step in your beauty ritual. Embrace it daily for a consistent, empowering glow.

10. Setting Goals:

Picture self-discipline as the GPS that is guiding you to your dreams. Establish small, attainable goals as waypoints on your journey. These goals serve as markers, leading you steadily toward your grand aspirations.

11. Prioritizing Tasks:

Think of self-discipline as your wise older sister, advising you on what truly matters. Prioritize tasks that contribute to your glow-up, whether it's acquiring a new skill or taking care of your well-being.

12. Resisting Temptations:

It's important to saying no to that extra slice of cake when you know you're full. Self-discipline aids in resisting temptations that might divert you from your goals, whether it's procrastination or unhealthy habits.

13. Building Habits:

Like establishing a routine of daily water intake, self-discipline helps in cultivating positive habits. These habits become second nature, contributing to your overall well-being and success.

14. Time Management:

Imagine self-discipline as a magical time-turner. It assists in managing your time wisely, allowing you to balance academics, self-care, and the pursuit of your passions effectively.

15. Learning from Mistakes:

Self-discipline is forgiving; it encourages learning from mistakes rather than dwelling on them. It's a compassionate guide, acknowledging that growth comes from understanding and overcoming challenges.

16. Celebrating Achievements:

Consider self-discipline your personal cheerleader. It not only recognizes but actively celebrates your achievements, big or small, in your journey of self-improvement and success.

Visualize self-discipline as your personal superhero cape, guiding you through the journey of glowing up and being super productive. You're on the path to becoming a true girlboss.

Keep shining doll !

Xoxo signing off,

Angela ꒰⁠⑅⁠ᵕ⁠༚⁠ᵕ⁠꒱⁠˖⁠♡

ps: this is my first post I hope it was informative enough as I am also in my own journey of being better mentally and physically and I see self discipline as something essential for that to happen.