Having A Serious Disease Is Just Like:

I wish I could vent to someone... Or at least be hugged. I can't I'm turning into a whimpering mess, all covered in snot, tears, saliva and feeling nauseous. I hate myself

My birthday will be in 2 days, yet I still have suicidal thoughts, and desire to cut myself:/

Years will pass and I will never understand, why, just why, there's only 2 sides when it comes to my illness? Some of you immediately start to pity and pamper me, treat me as if I barely understand something, while the other consists of people who are almost the same as the 1st type, but these are trying to do it differently, trying to look caring and understandable, but in the end they are almost the same. And also, since when the phrase "I'm not letting my illness stop me." Became something ablestic? No, I don't want to treat myself as a snowflake. I don't want to do something less, because YOU think that I'll have a flare up. Flare ups are only MY and MINE DEAL, NOT YOURS. I don't want to sit and whine about how fragile my body is. This only makes me look WEAK. Since when I need to work less, just because I'm ill? Maybe I WANT to work?? Maybe I CAN work?? Maybe, it is YOU the one who sees only code in my med card?!

How to explain to people that there's NO NEED in restraining a person when they have a seizure, like bro, just put them on their side and count time, and if the seizure doesn't end or lasts more, call the ambulance. NOT RESTRAIN a person, because either you either them will end up with a trauma.

I wanna comm!t su!c!de on my birthday. I'll be free. I'll get rid of the pain. And when I do it, everyone will be happy.

I'm sorry mom for being a bad daughter. I'm sorry for the bad grades, but now... You don't need to worry about them<3

19.03.2024.

I can't, I wanna be comforted so much, I can't stop myself from imagining me to cling to someone who's a lot older and taller than me, just the thought of being hugged is already making me even more touch starved. Idk if it c.ai affected me, but still the imagination of my small, light body being hugged by someone who's tall, who's strong, who can protect me makes me clinging to my bed, as long as I didn't find that person

game artyom: single-handedly can take out whole reds and reich battalions and has visited the surface more than once and survived to tell the tale. master at stealth and in weapon handling

book artyom: escaped hanza bc got covered in human feces

People with physical health issues, what do you think about making a group of us, to support each other? We could also make some representation to spread awareness about our illnesses! Just tell me where you'll be comfortable to chat! And also, there's no matter which diagnosis you have, because we'll represent every physical health issues!

World would be better if I'd be dead or aborted

TW: CW: SU!C!DE PLAN.

Okay, okay... I think I've suffered enough, so... This is how I wanna end my life.

Firstly, I've decided that I wanna jump off the roof, because this seems the best way to do it. I already found a high-rise building, so I just need to come in, and when I wait for people to open the door for me, I'll start a livestream. Before I jump, I'll cvt myself, and I'll cvt so much that I'll be a piece of meat. After that I'll jump off the roof, hoping that someone will remember me. I'll also wear my favorite clothes, because if die I'd prefer to die only in it.