I'm Glad That My Classmates Don't Use Tumblr And Using VK, Because If They Were There Everyone Would

I wanna try weeds to be honest, and idc that I'm just 13, I know that I'll k!ll myself, so, I could smoke for as long as I need to. But... I haven't got money for it... I wanna be law abiding, but I feel like I'm gonna comm!t soon...

I'm afraid that I won't pass my exams... In 9 grade, I'll have exams, which will help me to go in 10 grade, but... I have serious issues with maths... I'm afraid that if I won't pass it, I'll go and commit suicide. Somewhere, deep, in my soul, I don't want die cuz of it. But I feel like I will and like I should.

But... Even if I'll commit suicide, people will just forget me, and I'll be just a random kid, that made grave for themselves. I... I have no idea what to do...

English in school sucks, I prefer 2 lessons of physics more, than this shit

I'm so fucked up with these diseases thing. Everyone is taking in my disability first instead of my personality. Everyone wants only to discuss my disease instead of my new hobby. Maybe I'm really just a code in ICD... Ehh... Why can't I throw away my feelings and just accept the fact of me being a living movement disorder.

Honestly, I'm impressed at how much research people who believe that Mizuki is trans did. And these proofs are really strong, like... you can't just easily refute them. While people who believe that Mizuki is crossdresser, only rely on mizu5... As if that didn't prove that Mizuki is transfem... Like... If she was a boy, she wouldn't run away like that and wouldn't have a panic attack. People really should stop debating over her gender, and finally accept that she's trans.

"Be proud of your boobs! It's your power!" HELL NO. This "power" as you call it, makes me feel awful! Plus it hurts as hell, when it comes to period. Why should I even be proud of it?

(Day №??? of wanting being genderless)

Okay, I got used to relapse after few days of school, but.... WHY THE F#CK I RELAPSED ON HOLIDAYS? I can't describe how much I wanna cut my arms in a bl!!dy mess, I can't describe how much I wanna make deep cuts, but... I'm still afraid of my self-h!!rm being discovered... Especially if it'll see my teachers, neurologist, parents, etc... I just don't get this feeling when I cut my legs:(. Also I'm self-h!!rm!ng about 7 months, lol

HELL YEAH!! FINALLY 18 DAYS WITHOUT SH, GONNA GET A MONTH WITHOUT SH SOON🔥🔥🔥‼️‼️‼️🔥🔥💥💥

And still, I'm curious how an appointment which I used to go to every week a few months ago, turned into something I'm afraid of. Making me have flashbacks over and over when I just hear the word "neurologist. Made me have a whole panic attack just because I need to go to a doctor. No, please, I don't want to be treated anymore... Can't you just avoid me? Don't remember about my disease? Make me live a normal life?

People are talking about how they understand you, how you are still you, even if you got sick. But when I get a combination of movement disorders, y'all are DAMNED.