Insults For Your Loved Ones

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@darknightvirgil

Here is a list of random headcanons I have involving the sides.

(All of them involve Virgil specifically because he’s the softest bean and I will admit that I kind of love him the most.)

Whenever Thomas has a nightmare, Virgil sneaks into his room to comfort him. Virgil tried to keep that a secret from Thomas but Thomas figured it out as soon as he properly met him and when he finally told Virgil that he’d known, Virgil actually shoved him(gently and in the direction of the couch) and screamed “YOU SAW NOTHING!” before sinking away and refusing to meet Thomas face to face for a week out of embarrassment. 

Sometimes a spider will appear in the house and Thomas(and sometimes Patton) will SCREAM and start shouting for Virgil who will instantly appear and sometimes straight up murder the spider(seriously messing up whatever was around it in the process) or take a moment to toss the spider outside of the house before taking whoever screamed away from where the spider had been and cuddling with them until they feel better.

Deceit likes to cuddle. He’s always cold so he tries to cuddle with one of the others whenever he can to keep himself warm. His favorite person to cuddle with is Virgil because the anxious side is always willing to cuddle and carry him, regardless of what he’s doing at the time, and doesn’t mind when Deceit’s cuddles include flopping on top of him, wrapping around his throat in his snake form, actually crawling into his clothes in both forms, and spontaneously jumping on him while he’s walking around.

Patton trips on air sometimes and almost everyone knows that he does it completely on purpose. The only one who doesn’t know is Virgil, which is good since Patton only trips so that Virgil can catch him.

Everyone likes being carried by Virgil and Virgil is confused by the sentiment but doesn’t really have a problem with it. It all started with Patton who found out he enjoyed being carried by the stronger side early on in their friendship when Virgil had caught him the first few times he’d tripped near him. Deceit found out next when he was feeling particularly cuddly one day and pounced on Virgil for the first time. He’d been both surprised and pleased when Virgil had simply adjusted to carry him while he continued on with his day, not even bothering to question the reptilian side clinging to him. Thomas found out when he’d been particularly sleepy one day while returning home and had almost fallen flat on his face upon entering his front door. Virgil had swiftly caught him before he could and had easily carried him upstairs while quietly grumbling complaints about his lack of sleep, Thomas finding himself to be ridiculously comfortable in the arms of his Anxious protector to the point of falling asleep on the way up the stairs. Logan found out when he’d been overworking himself at his desk and Virgil had popped in, seen how tired and stressed he was, and had scooped him up without hesitation. Logan had complained at first but Virgil had given far too many solid arguments as he carried him to his bed and Logan was far too comfortable by the time they reached it to complain further. Roman found out when he’d dragged the others into a ‘Family Adventure’ and had ended up being flung into the air, only for Virgil to catch him on the way down. It had been quite a surprise but Roman had felt a little like a princess in the arms of a valiant knight and had discovered that he rather enjoyed playing that role when the knight was a slightly embarrassed and concerned Anxiety.

Virgil hangs out on the fridge sometimes and, surprisingly, Patton hates it. He doesn’t mind Virgil being up there in general but the same thing always happens whenever he walks by. Nobody ever really notices that Virgil is up there unless they actively look for him or he makes sure they notice him so whenever Patton goes into the kitchen without noticing him there Virgil just quickly grabs him by the shoulders and pulls him up with him. It always makes Patton scream and Virgil always ends up cackling and saying something ridiculous like “I have obtained my hostage!” or “The fridge goblin strikes again!” and yeah it’s funny but also terrifying and Patton was doing something when Virgil had picked him up and he wasn’t able to do that thing anymore because Virgil only ended up on the fridge when he was feeling particularly sleep deprived and loopy and that meant that the anxious side would not only drag him onto the fridge but would also usually end up sinking them away to a random location to cuddle and nap or to play some kind of slightly deranged game of tag or hide and seek that Patton couldn’t get out of without help from one of the others.

Sometimes, when Patton is in a particularly weird mood, he’ll climb onto the fridge and wait for Virgil to come by. Virgil always notices him as soon as he enters the room but doesn’t bother reacting until Patton pounces on him. Patton always says it’s revenge for all the times Virgil does something similar but the others aren’t entirely sure if he really means it or not because Virgil always seems pretty content with just catching Patton and carrying him around for the rest of the day afterwards.

Deceit will occasionally disappear and nobody but Virgil knows where he goes. Eventually tho, they all find out when they find him in the same place over and over again. It turns out that Deceit likes to take naps in Virgil’s hoodie pockets. Virgil doesn’t mind and Deceit finds it to be one of the most comfortable places for him to take naps.

Patton and Virgil started a boop war a year into their friendship and it’s been going strong ever since. Occasionally, it’ll get pretty intense and the two will end up booping each other repeatedly just rolling around while trying to boop the other until they both finally just collapse from exhaustion.

Out of curiosity, Logan once had Roman scream for Virgil while they were on a mini-adventure and the anxious side had popped in immediately and instantly went after the enemies nearby. When he’d finished he’d turned to the others and had frantically started patting them both down to make sure that they were alright and the other two had been unable to say anything while he did because they had just watched him gruesomely tear apart all of the enemies with his bare hands and it had been absolutely terrifying and also incredibly cool all at the same time.

It turns out that Virgil is weirdly good at cooking. This confuses everyone until he admits that he learned so that he could make sure there was someone around to feed them all if something happened to Patton or Thomas and they were unable to cook for a time. Logan and Roman both defended that they could also cook but were swiftly reminded that they usually messed up when they did it together and would almost always set something on fire when left to do so alone. And Deceit just admitted that he was really bad at it and agreed that Virgil’s back up plan was probably for the best.

If you start certain songs, Virgil is obligated to finish them. The best example is Welcome to the Black Parade but it is not the only one he does this with. Sometimes, Roman will mess with him by playing just the G-note and Virgil will SCREAM from wherever he is and stop whatever he is doing to run over and either make Roman finish playing the intro or will finish it himself before belting out the rest of the song. Once, he was having a perfectly normal conversation with Patton and Logan when Patton said “When I was a young boy” completely without meaning to start anything and Virgil just started screaming out the rest of lyrics seemingly without even meaning to either. Every once in a while, Deceit will just shout in the middle of the living room “TO CARRY ON” and Virgil will respond from wherever he is by continuing the song from there while making his way over to him. There are certain songs that Virgil hates but will still continue to sing without even meaning to. Once, and this is something that Roman will never let him live down, everyone was preparing to watch a movie after a particularly long day and Logan said “But first” and Virgil instantly replied by saying “Let me take a selfie” in a terrifically terrible valley girl voice without even seeming to realize what he’d done until it was too late.

Patton knows how to play the kazoo shockingly well and sometimes he’ll try to sneak up on Virgil only to start playing random songs and memes. Once he started playing the John Cena theme and Roman appeared out of nowhere and tackled Virgil onto the couch. 

Patton quotes memes a lot and Virgil loves it. 

Sometimes, Logan quotes memes and Virgil and Patton both love it.

Logan and Virgil have a game similar to Virgil and Patton’s Boop War where the two will just dab when no one else is looking while making sure the other sees. They take turns to see who can get away with the most dabs at a time before someone else notices. One day, Roman found out what they were doing but when Logan and Virgil talked about it with him they said that it didn’t matter if he told the others about it and when he asked why they both looked him straight in the eye and said, terrifyingly in sync, “Because no one will ever believe you” and left. Roman was both terrified and impressed by how well they’d pulled off the reference.

It’s terrifying how accurate this is.

She ended up ignoring me...

Decided to finally watch “Kiss Him, Not Me” today

So...

This:

And this:

Fucking murdered me.

I instantly screamed and oozed out of my desk chair and onto the floor to hyperventilate for just a bit. Holy hell! I was genuinely not expecting any of that. My heart has exploded and I have no regrets but, damn it, I need a minute to just calm down after that.

Oh my god...

Every time I look up and see him in that second picture I die just a little bit.

This is my favorite episode, by far.

Second favorite, however is the fourth one because of...

This!

And Fucking!

THIS!

RIGHT HERE!

*inarticulate screaming*

WHY CAN’T THIS JUST BECOME YURI! I WANT MORE YURI, DAMN IT!!!! FUCK THE HETERO PAIRINGS! JUST MAKE IT GAY!!!!!!

*cries*

*sighs*

I suppose the other pairings aren’t too bad though...

Mutsumi is my favorite.

He is the sweetest little cinnamon roll! He loves her without question and he just genuinely enjoys spending time with everyone! It’s so adorable! He never has a hidden motive like the others and I’m constantly worried that he’ll suddenly get one later on but he never does and it’s literally the best thing ever! I just want to give him a hug for the rest of my life!

*screams*

This is what happens when a blanket is dropped on the floor.

Y’know, I’ve always been pretty bad at keeping track of time. I can lose an entire week without realizing it.

Recently, I had no idea that Christmas was about to happen because I completely lost track of time. I only realized it when me and my dad went to the store and the guy there asked if we were ready for Christmas and suddenly I asked when that was happening and he replied that it was only six days away.

But, the worst thing about all of this is probably the fact that I still lose track of the date even with two huge calendars hanging on the wall behind my desk... 

Just press play.

My friends and I talk too much shit sometimes...

Amber:Alex, can I kill Brianna as well for her memes?

Me: YOU CANNOT STOP THE MEMES! i SHALL NEVER DIE!!!

Amber: I am the reaper and I will kill you and take your soul.

Alex: I am a psycho and there will be blood, suffering, laughing, and slaughter.

Me*shouting*: I don't have a soul! And who the fuck do you think you are trying to kill! I've killed gods and destroyed universes, Fucker! Fucking come at me with your weak ass reaper self!

Me*in a calmer voice*: Have fun, Alex. Save some meat for me when your done.

Alex: There will be enough meat for all.

Me: Cool.