Shantiniketan Trip:- Day-2

STREETS OF WEST BENGAL ASKING FOR JUSTICE

(Courtesy - YouTube)

Tumi shondharo meghomala

Tumi amar sadhero sadhona

@callonpeevesie @medusasprotegedaughter @beingdevipdf @shaonsim @mitraavarunaa hehe check it out.

I am back!! Nahi hua bass nahi huaaa! I love tumblr!

Then- am I- close- mental breakdo-

no girl is as close to a mental breakdown as that girl who says:

I'm like in such a better place right now... Mentally I'm just doing so much better right now... I couldn't have asked for anything more

How to slide into ur dms…

you can't, cause I am not slippery..

I think I have to start practicing dance in order to improve myself and stay out worthless distractions..

I still remember I used to dance in my terrace and my neighbours used watch and say "minu, tor naach dekhle amader bikel bela ta khub bhalo bhabe kete jaye re, ekta shanti ashe mone"

The tinkling of my ghunghur and payel makes me satisfied... Will have to start again...

✨🍂

"I fear to love you too much and lose you and suffer, and I also fear to not love you and miss a love chance and regret it. I live with you an unbalance state since I knew you, my life going perfectly, except my heart which is a mess. I always fear the endings, for I am used to lose anything I love, so please tell me: How can I love you without pain? And how can I not love you with regret?"

Sotti anek shahosh er dorkar hoye erokom kicchu lekhar jonyo..

We people often take ego as self respect. She has no ego.. She has self respect. 🌷✨

Lots of love..

A letter to someone whom I don't know exists or not, a letter to someone I don't know I will ever meet or not, A letter to my love, my desire. A letter to Tamanna ki Tamanna ~

Love,

How are you doing? I hope you are fine, this is your girl, your jaan, your non stop bakar bakar karni wali, pretty and hot mess gf/wife,best friend,travel partner,dance partner and how can we forget reading partner. (Damn you so lucky hehe) I hope I am there beside you reading out this letter sitting on your lap while we cuddle.

I know sometimes you will get tired of having this mentally unstable and overthinker girl as someone you will call as your life partner, I know it will be hard to handle 3 kids in the house for you, I know it will be exhausting for you to handle all my nakhre and comfort me while crying, But I believe it will be more fun to have me beside you admiring moon in starry nights, it will be more fun watching sunsets near the riverside~ you admiring the scenery and I admiring you, it will be more fun to have me teaching you how to do that one couple trend, it will be more fun dancing with me in the rain, it will be more fun listening me sing

"Acha ji main Hari chalo maan jao na~"

Whenever I make you sad. You know what the idea of us living together itself is the most exciting thing.

Okay, so here goes a little life update cause at this moment I don't have anybody to rant or yap my life to~

I started writing the story I wanted to write for long time, it was supposed to be a love story par Aashna decided to give me a lot of ideas to make it a thriller one, so I don't know what it will end up to be but I am sure it will be gorgeous Chaos just like me.

You know what while I am writing this letter to you in my room, I can hear the sound of Rain pouring and as I heard that one thunder sound I decided to put my headphones on. Yeah, it's me and my silly fear of thunders but ig it won't be existing in future, I hope I will look up to enjoy rains and find comfort in that sound of thunder with you beside me.

You know what I will forever be jealous of you without even existing at this point of time in my life (maybe you exist but me being dumb didn't realised) you own everything, you own a special place in my Spotify playlists, my Pinterest Boards, My Notes app or ab ye sab kam pada tha jo meri kahani bhi aapke baare main honi lagi. Mere nritya, mere geet , meri kavitayen or yaha tak ki mere khat ye bhi ab aapke hi hai.

Okay so now, at end I would like to wish us a life full of endless twirls,music,books and food. I wish we always stay together dancing our life out and have that love life jisko dekh ke log bas yahi bole ~

"Ye to ek dum dramon wala pyaar hai "

With this I take my leave ~

Signing off

Always yours

Desirer 🤍

MY GOODNESS!?!

Seeing my previous posts made me believe the fact that I was into serious depression. My goodness..

Why did I behave like that.. Ebaba.. I feel so sorry for myself..

Whatever happened was for my good.. I really don't wanna discuss about that stuff which happened, and many more stuffs which happened this year, which is the cause of huge depression. The reason I left tumblr was depression. The way in which I was treated by someone unknown, my relatives, family, made me believe that I was worthless and I don't have any sort of ability, potential, capability.

After I left tumblr, I started to focus on myself. Studying and going on small one day trips, small gossip session with friends, going out with friends etc.. I was so into depression that I got into binge eating disorder.

Anyways.. Whatever happened has happened for my good. If those would not have happened from February till December, I would have never realized that I was worthy, capable and had a lot of potential..