Journal Entry #37

The Drinking Game

A wise friend once asked me Do you drink to remember, Or do you drink to forget? Me? I drink to sever and dismember All that fills my head with regret Those pieces in my mind that remind What I had in front of eyes so blind

I drink to forget my name It’s numbness takes away the constant pain Long enough to spark a bigger flame And watch another life blow up in smoke Right in my face And tether the tides Washed up in the storm on every side

I drink to forget it all Where I was this time last fall Where this beaten road says I’m going As long as I keep empty money flowing For all that’s about to start blowing My way in this Winter Wonderland of snow and ice Just gotta keep up with the price

I’m tripping all over my broken bottles And empty promises that started to rot On the inside, like my insides I drink to remember who I’m not

waiting for @holycrimes to clean his car out 🚗

Tried bars for the first time last weekend. But I was already feeling pretty drunk so don't ask me what happened.

Feels

It’s hard knowing what to feel Because nothing ever seems real But this sinking feeling Held up by a thin string That’s roped around my neck so tight When all I want is to pack up and take flight Down South for the winter This cold is too bitter

I’d rather see myself in golden California Smoking a cigarette filled with marijuana But that’s what got me in this mess So it’s time to put this to the test Just don’t ask the price I paid I must live with my quiet rage With standards so low, my day was just made Saved a bee drowning in my drink I want to fly but all I do is sink You can’t sting my flesh You’re kind of pain would leave me feeling refreshed

To think where I’d be without love Even when I always think I’m not enough Things aren’t perfect, but you’ve put me in limbo It’s better than hell, better than suicide, so Where do we go from here? I’m spilling lines that aren’t ever clear.

Do you drink to forget? Or do you drink to remember?

holycrimes

Cigarettes around a Campfire

There’s seven billion people in the world. There’s 300 million Americans in this country. And 10 million fuckers in the god-forsaken state. But there’s something about you, out of the millions and billions that surround me. You have this aura that attracts me in ways beyond my five senses can fathom. I tell myself a hundred times a day, these fancy clichés, to try and create a happier alternative. While you understand the physics behind what truly makes this 4,000 mile wide Mother Earth go round. You like downers, while I pull up any chance I get. You’re the yin to my yang. Let’s mix and melt together into something far beyond grey. No colours can match your smile and that spark in your eyes that burns like a bonfire in my heart. So let’s gather around the campfire to sing silly songs and smoke silly things. Let’s eat something a little funny and see what the night brings. There’s an empty seat to my right. Will you be my left-hand man just for tonight? I want you to leave your worry at the door, there’s no room for that here. Another cigarette while you drink your beer. Let’s talk about how our paths crossed, if they’ll connect again, or if they might have to part. But before we do, just give me a little longer to cherish this night in my heart.

A trippy write.

today I turn 27, but here's a funny video of me last year on my birthday dying for a second. 💨

My new baby. 💙

Breakfast, lunch, and dinner is for beginners. You ain't even know.