Reunited With Macayo, One Of My Oldest And Wisest Friends. He Says 2018 Is Going To Be A Perfect Year

MISS CONGENIALITY (2000) dir. Donald Petrie

so i’ve seen this around a lot and i always felt like the version i listened to just. didn’t have everything? sO! i edited together my three favourite versions of the tik tok sea shanty! enjoy!!

(listen with headphones if possible!)

(yes i know the ending is bad oKaY-)

Peter is a savage

its like marine biology Jackass

I made a printable coloring calendar! It’s got all twelve months plus blanks in case you like writing out all the months and whatnots yourself. It’s a mere $3 on Etsy and Gumroad; Etsy splits it up into three files, but it’s all the same thing. It prints on standard letter-sized paper and you can stick it into your discbound planner or three-ring binder, whatever floats your boat. Reblogs are appreciated, feel free to post pics and tag me if you color your own 💙

This is how the golden age of piracy ended.

Psst, hey, hey you, yes you

Everybody who reblogs this before may 25th 2019 will get a little cryptid design based on their blog, url, etc.

justin mcelroy has said many powerful things but honestly no set of words in the english language conveys the same energy as “that’s a funny trick to play on god”

the historical vlad dracula is overrated, his brother radu was awesome

nicknamed ‘the handsome’

died before the age of 40 but compensated by living a full and interesting life that did not consist of fruitless guerrilla warfare interrupted by long boring spells in the slammer

literally the sultan’s favorite boyfriend

you think i’m kidding but i’m not fucking kidding

so his dad who was ruler of wallachia (aka southern romania more or less) sent radu and vlad to the ottoman court as political hostages when they were kids and they grew up there along with the future mehmet the fucking conqueror

you know. the dude who conquered constantinople in 1453, brought an end to the eastern roman empire etc etc

that dude

turns out mehmet had a ridiculous crush on radu

so one day mehmet tried to get handsy and radu thought to himself, what should i do in my precarious position as political prisoner from a small-fry principality on the fringes of the empire when the heir to the ottoman throne is putting the moves on me?

I KNOW I’LL STAB HIM IN THE LEG

so he did. he did that

and then he went and climbed a tree and refused to come down until mehmet got patched up and probably limped over all c’mon baby don’t be like that

like i bet stabbing the sultan got you a one-on-one appointment with the royal executioner. except not for radu because he was that much of a badass

meanwhile vlad was probably planning to LISTEN WHO FUCKING CARES

anyway

so radu eventually of his own volition became mehmet the conqueror’s boyfriend and they went on many exciting adventures together

like the siege of constantinople

where was vlad at the time? being kicked out of his own country because his standard approach to politics was ‘devise new and exciting ways to torture and kill people slowly’. despite what certain history books will have you think he was super unpopular with… everyone basically.

radu was highly educated and spoke multiple languages and was all about turkish and persian literature. also possibly converted to islam though sources tend to contradict eachother on that

by the time radu was 22 mehmet gave him a command and started sending him places

like wallachia to overthrow his brother who was being politically inconvenient

SO MUCH GAME OF THRONES-GRADE BACKSTABBY DRAMA HAPPENED YOU HAVE NO IDEA

also radu married a serbian (or possibly albanian) princess named maria despina and had one daughter

died suddenly in his late 30s, which is code for ‘probably poisoned’

and in conclusion: a genuinely interesting historical figure you don’t hear enough about because his brother was a vampire or something

If you think about it, all these thinkpieces about how Millenials are “killing” various industries reveal a pretty colossal sense of entitlement.

Under normal circumstances, if a given industry finds itself unable to sell products to a given market demographic, we’d say it’s that industry’s fault for failing to offer products that that demographic is interested in buying.

It only makes sense to blame the target demographic itself is if we’re assuming that the established industries have some intrinsic right to that demographic’s disposable income that’s being denied - which is clearly nonsense.

And I thought Millennials were supposed to be the entitled ones?