Danny: Ugh, They're Back Again

Dan: Oh crude! Hit the deck!

Danny: Why? What's happening?

Dan: It's the most dangerous adversary I ever faced. He was the closest to taking me out in the future and it was only through sheer dumb luck I survived. He also did all that without having any ghost weapons. I shudder to think what would have been left of my army if he did.

Danny: Who is this dangerous man?

Dan gravely: Tim

Danny: I'm sorry?

Dan: *Army crawling behind bookshelves* His name is Tim the Terrible. Quickly we have to escape before he-

Tim: Are you two alright?

Dan: *Screaming while skedaddle away*

Danny: ......

Tim:.....

Danny: Sorry about that he....um he's a self-proclaimed seer and apparently you're kind of scary in the future. Silly right?

Tim mentally thinking of his evil future self: Actually.....

yeah yeah yeah the dipper is trans theory is wholesome and validating and adds a whole new layer to the story and his relationship to mabel, along with stan/his "masculinity" but in the name of comedy i ask you to remember: ford has been trapped in another dimension for 30 years. he didn't know dipper and mabel existed at all, let alone their backstories (tm)

imagine it's next summer and

dipper: grunkle stan, i have a cramp, can i not work today

stan: yeah fine kid, go lay down

ford: if it's in your legs or left arm i might have a solution, this radio gun i picked up in-

dipper: sorry, great uncle ford, it's ummm... not that kind of cramp

ford (after dipper comes out (in reverse kinda)): ...

stan: *reaching for the brass knuckles in case he has to punch the daylights out of his brother*

ford: i dated a guy like that in college

mabel: *bursting out of a wall because of course* DID SOMEONE SAY GRUNKLE LORE

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I have just learned that Mountain Goats are NOT, in fact, actual Goats.

Has anyone seen/written any fics where Danny is so used to being an overpowered menace that danger doesn't even register the same for him anymore. Like he's gone against the likes of undergrowth and vortex, he's obviously not going to be intimidated by a middle aged man with sweaty hands pointing a gun at him.

It's all fine until he leaves Amity and starts being put in mildly dangerous situations that don't bother him at all but everyone around him looks super freaked out? And it can range from like being mugged or one of the DC superheroes facing one of their supervillains while all the civilians run away and Danny just keeps going full on ignoring cause not his circus, not his monkeys, but still.

And then he realizes that his reaction is abnormal and people are starting to stare and he doesn't need the extra attention on him but knows he can't act for shit so he just goes for the most deadpan sarcasm he can muster and goes all "oh, nooooo. This is so bad. I am SO scared." And it just makes the stares worse but by then he's committed to the bit and will throw gradually more concerning stuff about his past in conversations with the most dead expression just to see how far he can take it until someone confronts him about it.

twin brothers are unbearable actually

Fun fact: jefferson was 12-14 years older than hamilton. The generational gap was exaggerated by the fact that jefferson was also 8 inches taller than him. Imagine getting roasted by a tiny gen alpha kid in court

I’ve had this one on my mind for a while hahaha

one thing i adore about fandom is the “[bad parent]’s A+ parenting” tag on ao3. it’s so universal and so sarcastic and it makes me giggle every time i see it