Your Mental Illness Is Lying To You.

Unique

You’re welcome for my existing

Please PLEASE read about it and spread it around. On yesterday's first pride in my home city (Białystok, Poland) the marchers (me and my close friend included) were attacked by the group of extremist far-right. They have thrown stones, eggs, flares, bangers and, of course, lots and lots of slurs at the marchers. I was spat on and I still consider myself lucky, people ended in hospitals after getting beaten after the pride. It was a scary place.

I really hope it won't be overlooked.

We won't "get they fuck out".

No number of "hunting for fags" will stop us from being, living and loving. (yes. this happened yesterday. right after the march fascist chanted that they will "hunt for fags" and so they did, there's a video of 3 grown ass men beating and kicking a guy not older than 15, one kicked him in the face)

Oh and, and some facts

- The numbers. There was about 1 thousand people at the pride and 4 thousand opposing. Football hooligans (VERY aggressive group in Poland) from the whole country came to Białystok just for this

- There were about 74 events planned just to stop the march. Only 1-3 of them were accepted by the local government (? I read in the comments that non were accepted as " opposing " but for sure a marching prayer and "family picnic" happened near the pride)

- The church in Bialystok thanked the protesters from "defending family values" but later explained that is was written before the actual pride (the episcopal conference condemned the attacks)

- The minister of education (Dariusz Piontkowski) said its all the fault of the fact that prides are taking place (this man said that lgbt wants to sexualize children)

-A few days before Gazeta Polska added "space free from LGBT" stickers to one of their issues

Lied

By now, the elephant in the room has probably grown about three stories, but don’t worry, there was no way I was going to forget Lied when he plays such a crucial role in this arc. A lot of the scenes he’s in covers all the different sections I created like character development, trauma, and undemonlike behavior at the same time, so I decided that instead of trying to break it all apart, I’d just give him his own section where he can fully shine. Every arc and self-contained story in m!ik will focus on Iruma and, usually, one or more additional character(s). Prior to the Harvest Festival, the characters bearing the weight of the story were Iruma (obviously), his adopted family (Sullivan and Opera-san), and his two closest friends (Asmodeus and Clara). Shorter stories would branch out, and many of the Misfits had their chance to shine in specific scenes of larger arcs, but in the Harvest Festival, Lied, someone outside Iruma’s family and the trio, becomes one of the most important characters, second only to Iruma. This is first brought to attention by how the Misfits are positioned in ensemble shots. Like the one above, Lied is placed front and center, drawing the readers’ attention.

When looking back on the purpose of the legendary leaf, a lot the focus is on what it means for Iruma’s future. It’s worth considering since it provides greater insight into the mystery behind Delkira, and therefore the overall plot, but we shouldn’t overlook that half of the challenge was completed by Lied. I’d say that based on this arc; Lied may be the least demonic of the actual demons. That’s not to say he isn’t at all demonic, but his defining characteristic is antithetical to demons. Lied harbors the greatest concentration of any character in the series, and it develops further in the same arc where Iruma masters a weapon unfit for demons because of how much concentration it requires. It’s not just a random trait either; that level of focus is essential to using his bloodline magic, so in order to be a better demon, Lied has to develop undemonlike qualities. Paradoxical sure, but true, nonetheless. So, his concentration is abnormal, but paired with his love of the thrill, Lied’s an absolute monster. Honestly, I have trouble categorizing Lied’s gambling and demonic or undemonic, and at this point I’m thinking it’s a mix of both. Risking his life for fun is undoubtably demonic but pushing forward when the going gets tough is decidedly not.

And that goes into what Lied enjoys. I find it hilarious that the other three afflicted Misfits were forced to confront their life-long traumas and Lied just got turned down by his crush, but that’s part of what makes Lied a likeable character. At the end of the day, he’s just a teenager with normal teenage problems. The rest of the Misfits are too, but a lot of them have these larger-than-life problems and backstories, so Lied balances out the dynamic by reminding everyone that they’re all just teenagers going to school and living life. We also have to revisit his concentration one last time, but now from a different angle. I’ve previously described how it’s impressive that the Misfits were able to overcome failure and frustration since that sort of dedication doesn’t typically come naturally to demons, but it does to Lied. Rather than balking at stress (something demons try to avoid to prevent entering a wicked phase) Lied enjoys being under pressure, making him quite the formidable opponent.

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Give my boy his ADHD meds!

So you’re feeling suicidal…

I’m not going to sugar coat it; it happens, especially for those of us suffering from BPD, Depression, and other mood and anxiety disorders.

And sometimes, it’s really fucking scary

So here’s my unsolicited advice to you; take it or leave it

*Personally, when I get really suicidal, like the “shit the rope is around my neck” or “the pills are in my hand just fucking take them” the last thing on my mind is “how can I save myself”, so…

Step 1: fight the urge. Survive the near attempt. Find a fucking ounce of hope that convinces you to live

*this can be anything, ie: because I love fuzzy sweaters, or because there is so much art I haven’t done

Step 2: ok, so you survived the near attempt, or very scary serious thoughts. Chances are, you’re still feeling pretty agitated, depressed, suicidal, or an impossibly infinite number of emotions. For me, the next step is to focus on something other than myself

*I use an app called “Calm Harm”. It is intended for self harm, but works equally as well for suicidal urges. It gives you suggestions and different tools to help pass the urge to self-destruct. Some are distractors, expressive outlets, or meditative techniques.

Step 2.5: if the urge does not pass, remove yourself from the unsafe environment. I cannot stress the importance or genuine effectiveness of this tool. Go to the library. Take a walk. Do what you have to do.

Step 3: When I manage to ride the wave, pass the urge, I am almost always left feeling numb, emotionless, and terrified of my own mind-more often than not, this makes me want to self harm.

If you are left feeling like you want to self harm, return to step 2: ride the wave, wait for the urge to pass.

If you do self harm- don’t beat yourself up about it. It happens, and usually it’s not the end of the world. However, if you do self harm, please take care of yourself afterwords

Step 4: if you’re feeling like you are able to, or if the option is feasible, remove the dangerous objects from your room; ie. pills, ropes, knives, razor blades, etc.

This can be a difficult step to take. Push yourself to take it, but make sure you take baby steps. Removing all coping mechanisms (such as cutting) can make things worse in the long run. So take it slow. Start with putting your pills in the bathroom so that they aren’t there to temp you, or moving the ropes to the garage. You’ll get there, but give yourself time.

Step 5: Self Care. Whether that is cleaning the wounds, making some tea, curling up with a good book or taking a nap, self care is key. You made it. You can do this. This is not the end of your story.

Being suicidal is no easy feat, and each and every time you get through that battle, you are one step closer to winning this war.

I’m proud of you for making it through those feelings and this post.

You are strong.

You are important.

You have an amazing future.

You just have to do is survive long to find it 🖤

You have an older brother. He's more charismatic than you, handsomer than you, always surrounded by a big circle of friends. When you follow him in school, all of your teachers know you only as an extension of him. "You're Kaito's brother," they tell you when they hear your surname. They expect you to be him and you just can't measure up. Even when his choices ruin your life, much of your family take his side.

And then one day you die. It's tragic, but at least you don't leave behind a wife or children. At the memorial, how many people there are just a little bit relieved that it's you and not him?

You come back to life in a new world, and make a new start. There's nobody there to overshadow you. You gain confidence, and power, and a big circle of friends. Every time you rank up in power you get handsomer. Every time you rank up in power you look more like your brother, until your face is more his than yours.

Then you come home. The world turns upside down with the revelation of monsters and magic, and now he's the one running to catch up. He gets a job with the magical society you introduced him to. He's helpful and well-liked, but in these circles that only makes him average. His coworkers know him as an extension of you. "You're Jason's brother," they tell him when they meet him. They expect him to have your audacity, your proprensity for miracles.

And then comes the day that you step out of a portal and find him dead.

His funeral is widely attended. You come in secret, because your presence could upset the whole event. His death is tragic, but not world-shaking: in that crowd, how many people there are just a little bit relieved that it's him and not you?

When you rank up high enough, a friend tells you, you'll look just like his twin.

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