I Always Act Like I Don’t Care What People Think.

I always act like I don’t care what people think.

I think I shouldn’t care… but I think I’m starting to.

Because I weirdly care what he thinks, what’s on his mind when he looks my way and laughs.

One side of my brain says it’s because he’s making fun of me, the other says it’s because he gets fluttery thoughts when he sees me too.

Because I weirdly care what she thinks, what’s on her mind when we tease each other in class.

One side of my brain says she finds me annoying and pities me to the point where she doesn’t say anything, the other says her brain goes fuzzy when I smile just like mine does when she laughs.

Because I weirdly care what they think, when me and my friends laugh loudly during morning time.

One side of my brain says they think we’re funny, the other side says we’re annoying and should shut up.

And my thoughts get so loud sometimes…

So loud I even wonder what I think of myself.

I hate that I care what people think.

It makes everything so much harder.