Me, A Religiously-repulsed Human Being: -sipping Lemonade And Shrugging-

OKAY STORY TIME

When I first heard of Tsuun, I was reading one of their fics on What a Life. I loved it so much. And I honestly was like "this person can't find out I exist they will cringe into their intestines".

And then this post happened

And I was like "HOO BOY LOOK AT THIS A CHANCE TO GET DISCOVERED"

So I wrote "A Job for Momma" (it's on AO3 if you wanna check it out for yourself) and they loved it. We became friends and we chat on Discord every chance we get.

A few months ago, I didn't think Tsuun would ever acknowledge my existence.

Now I'm proud to say that I have a friend in them.

Thank you @tsuunytsuun for being the dumb to my ass

Did you ever just feel so lucky for knowing someone you met online? Like.. I was one click away from not following you. I was one second away from never even knowing of your existence.I would never have been this happy!!!...

I had this really cool dream last night.

So Lumine's a college student, right? I dunno what she studies. And there's a serial killer going around campus. The first victim was Signora. Childe is a transfer student from another college - one much more advanced than Lumine's. So when he makes a presentation on a gravity distortion device he and a few friends (probably Arlecchino and Dottore) everyone is blown away.

Later, at a bar, Kuni teases Lumine about how bad she has it for Childe (she doesn't, but they're best friends). Childe creeps up behind Lumine and startles her. He buys her a drink and Kuni leaves, smirking. They talk for a while, and Childe invites Lumine to visit his college, saying she's too good for this place. She declines and goes home. The next day, Ayaka, a girl Lumine had a crush on, is dead.

Lumine decides to start looking into the murders. She seeks counsel from Childe, who just wants to make time with her. He does tell her that maybe Lumine is the target, seeing as she liked Ayaka and Signora was her least favorite teacher. Lumine considers this and heads to a cafe with Kuni. On her way, she spots someone fighting in an alley. Kuni runs in to break it up and chases a hooded figure away. The other person was Lumine's brother, Aether. There's a knife in his shoulder.

Lumine's on the verge of insanity at this point. Kuni's doing everything he can to help her, but to no use. All he can do is tell her how much he cares about her. The next morning, his dismembered hand is hanging on her door. Lumine can only think of one person at this point: Childe.

Lumine marches over to Childe's hotel and demands answers. He says he'll tell her, but not at the hotel. They head to a ferry and Lumine starts asking why. Childe denies having any part in the murders. But then, he starts speaking strangely, and presses a button on his phone. Water starts winding around the ship. It turns out that the gravity distortion device he showed in class was just a prototype. The real one was the boat.

"Signora asked too many questions."

"Ayaka stole your attention from me."

"Kuni got in the way."

Lumine couldn't believe it. She snatched the phone and pushed Childe over the side of the boat.

A year later, Lumine is in Snezhnaya visiting Tonia and Teucer. Tonia knows the whole story, but Teucer thinks his brother is just taking a long vacation.

To this day, Lumine can't bring herself to tell him.

YOU FUCKING TAKE THAT BACK RIGHT NOW HE LOOKS HANDSOME D:<

"Kaoru isn't even allowed near the stove."

Nako: Yup, pretty accurate.

Mactcablossom Questions

1. Who wakes up first? Kojiro is a natural early bird, and the other members of his family will never stop questioning it.

2. Who wants to stay in bed just a little longer? Kaoru of course, he hates waking up, and usually, getting him out of bed requires an offering of food and lots of kisses.

3. Who takes longer getting ready? Kaoru takes forever getting ready, and it kills Kojiro cause he just wants to take a dang shower.

4. When they can't sleep, what do they do? A side-effect of Kojiro's anxiety is occasional insomnia, so sleepless nights are pretty common for him. When they do happen, he usually goes downstairs and eats microwave ramen while watching late-night television.

7. Who comes up with the cheesy pick-up lines? 100% Kojiro, and Kaoru pretends to hate them when in reality he thinks it's adorable. ~ Ex: Kojiro: Man, are you a parking ticket? 'Cause you've got FINE written all over you. Kaoru:  *face beet red and trying not to giggle* O-Oh my GOD, Kojiro.

11. Who rearranges the bookshelf/DVD shelf in alphabetical order? Kaoru did this constantly while he was pregnant with Miya, and it drove Kojiro mad lol

12. Who does the hands-over-the-eyes "Guess Who" thing? Kojiro did it once and Kaoru accidentally punched him in the gut, because he thought someone was trying to attack him.

14. Who's prone to road rage? Kojiro is a pretty chill guy, but when it comes to bad drivers he goes insane, once Kaoru had to hold him back from jumping out the car after someone almost hit them on the highway.

15. Who's prone to wearing socks indoor (or to sleep)? Kojiro made Kaoru start wearing socks to bed after he got fed up with cold feet touching him every night.

16. Who reminds the other to put on sunscreen before going to the beach (or pool)? Kaoru has to constantly remind Kojiro and Kadence that just because they're naturally tan doesn't mean they won't get a sunburn.

17. Who carries all the important documents while traveling? Kaoru is the official family important document holder by majority vote.

19. Who puts their cold hands/feet on the other? Kaoru is the one who's constantly cold, meanwhile his husband is a walking furnace. Kaoru's feet and hands are like I C E and Kojiro is often woken up by a sudden surge of cold in the middle of the night.

20. What do they argue about? They mostly argue about small stuff that doesn't impact their lives at all.

22. Who texts more often? When Kaoru is working from his studio, Kojiro will constantly text him silly gifs and hearts and kissy faces, because he knows it'll make Kaoru laugh.

24. Who's the better cook? Kaoru isn't even allowed near the stove.

25. Who mistakes salt for sugar? Kaoru.

26. Who puts the fork in the microwave? Kaoru.

27. Who cooks at 2 in the morning? Kojiro stress bakes, and once Kaoru found him in the kitchen at 2:30 in the morning baking his third batch of vanilla cupcakes. He had to literally wrestle the spoon away from Kojiro and drag him back to bed.

28. Who lets the microwave play the loud beeping sound at 1 a.m.? Kojiro.

29. Who licks the spoon when they're baking brownies? Kojiro does this all the time, even after Kaoru told him he could get salmonella.

30. Who likes doing the dishes? Neither of them, and if neither of them wants to sometimes pay one of the kids to do it

31. Who has bigger cravings? What are they? Kaoru LOVES Italian food, and even though he has an Italian husband at his disposal, he takes the time out of his day to drive to their local Italian restaurant and stock up on food to bring back to his studio.

32. Who remembers what the other one always orders at a restaurant? Both of them.

33. How do they eat ice cream? What's their favorite flavors? Kojiro bites his ice cream, which confuses and angers Kaoru as well as their children. (His favorite flavor is chocolate chunk)

34. Do they go on dates? What are they like? Kojiro and Kaoru always make sure to have a date night every month, and they usually go out to dinner and then do an activity, like playing mini-golf or taking a ghost tour.

36. Which one is the secret snuggler? Kaoru. Kojiro is basically a humanized Golden Retriever, and while he'll cuddle his husband anywhere, Kaoru will only cuddle when they're at home or by themselves.

39. Who leaves little notes in the other one's lunch? (Bonus: What does it say?) Kojiro will leave notes in Kaoru's lunch for work everyday, and reading them always makes Kaoru's day a little better :)

40. Who is the most affectionate? Kojiro comes from a large Italian family, and with a large Italian family comes lots of affection, so he's a hugger :)

41. Who is the big spoon/little spoon? Kaoru doesn't like to admit it, but he likes being the little spoon ;)

42. What is their favorite physical feature of their partner? Kojiro's favorite feature is Karou's hips and thighs, he just can't help himself ;} Karou's favorite feature of Kojiro's is his face, especially ever since he grew a stubble.

44. What are their favorite nicknames for each other? Kaoru's favorite nickname for Kojiro is Koji, and Kojiro's for Kaoru is Blossom

46. Who initiates kisses? Kojiro loves to pounce on Kaoru when he's most vulnerable and smother him with kisses anywhere he can reach, his face, his chest, his neck, his shoulders, ANYWHERE.

47. Who says I love you first? How did it happen? Kaoru said it first, they were sitting in Kojiro's room and watching a movie.

48. Who tells their friends/family about their relationship first? Kojiro's family figured it out all on their own, and when he and Kaoru came out they were like, "Yeah we figured, you thought you were being low-key about it?"

49. What do they do when they're away from each other? They FaceTime every night.

I figured it was something like that

EdeuxHive + Miya

This dynamic is so great because it always involves a third person who is, for whatever reason, quite invested in watching two idiots dance around their feelings for each other.

Sorry honey, I can't go out tonight, I'm *checks notes* latibulating

Okay I can't help that he is friend-shaped

That's on him

TULIN HYPE

Ahemmmmmmmm...

NAMES. RIGHT. FUCKING. NOW.

No one should have to endure torment like this. It doesn't matter if they're joking or not. Every day people actually do kill themselves due to messages and statements of all sorts like this. And this is where I put my foot down.

About a week ago I posted this.

I’ve been getting horrible messages like this in my ask for months, including:

and my personal favorite

After getting the message saying “Just go kill yourself” I was completely done dealing with this person’s horrible messages and replied with just an “Okay.” and logged off tumblr.

About a week later I logged back on with 17 messages in my ask, most of them from the anon. I scrolled down and at first when I logged off, the anon messaged me things like

I scrolled up more and all of a sudden they started sending me more and more messages like

This was extremely surprising to me. I thought “After all those horrible messages you sent to me for MONTHS about hating me and wanting me dead, you say ‘sorry’ and that you ‘cant be responsible for someone’s suicide’?”

But I guess the lesson goes like this:

DONT TELL ANYONE TO KILL THEMSELVES UNLESS YOU ARE PREPARED FOR WHAT MIGHT ACTUALLY HAPPEN

Reze's not Denji's girlfriend

She's his fucking wife

t4t royalty