Without You (I Can’t Breath) (Reader X Hoseok)

Without You (I Can’t Breath) (Reader x Hoseok)

Hoseok thinks that home is a place you can plot on a map. But he realizes that living by himself is lonely. he gets a new place and puts out an ad for a roommate- What he doesn’t expect is you- someone who has no knowledge of BTS- and he’ll do anything to keep it that way. 

Pairing: Hoseok x Reader 

tags: Domestic love, lonely!Hoseok, roommates for lovers aU, secrets, mild angst, sooooo much fluff, literally I gagged while writing this several times. implied smut. Hurt/Comfort

A/N: I wrote this instead of studying, I hope you’re happy because I’m probably going to fail because of this fucking au love me

Wordcount: 3.4k

-Hoseok and the rest of Bangtan finally decide to get their own places- and its one of the conditions of the renewal of their contract because a few of the guys have significant others now. 

- He passes up an opportunity to get a three bedroom with Tae and Jungkook, and decides to live by himself like Yoongi.

- At first he decides to get a big old nice apartment on the top of a sky scrapper. 

- Its modern and lit up, and everything he ever dreamed of having when he was a trainee. 

- But it gets really lonely really quick.

- It starts to feel like a cage in the sky- while everyone comes home to something- all he has is his view of the city and floor to ceiling windows that will never open. 

- He’s gone for ages- he can’t even fill it with greenery let alone have a pet.

- His penthouse doesn’t really feel like a home- after half a year he gives up one it. 

- He caves and asks Yoongi if he would like a roommate 

- “Hell no- we finally get to have quiet to our selves dude- enjoy it before you meet someone and decide to have a family.” 

- So he decides to move into this quiet space- but in a busier more grungy part of town. 

- A two bedroom above a coffee shop with a wrap around balcony that’s a little ways away from Bighit. 

- In a town where there are mostly bars and restaurants- the other apartments on the street catering to families or people that can barely make rent. 

- He loves it more than his penthouse- how he can sit out on his street faceting balcony and people watch until he feels like sleeping. 

- It always smells like baked goods from the café below, 

- The little bathroom leaves a lot to be desired and theirs a stain on the ceiling from water damage but he loves it. 

- It’s still too lonely though. The foot traffic only lasts till 1- which is nothing when he doesn’t get home until 12; 30 even on his less busy days. And he still doesn’t feel like he’s home. 

- After a drunken night and a little convincing from Seokjin he puts an advertisement in the local paper for his spare room. 

- He’s almost forgotten about it when he gets an email a few weeks later. 

- And he meets you in the café downstairs. A sweet student a few years younger than him looking to get their first place away from their parents. 

- He was worried that you would recognize him- that you could be a fan or at least know his face- but when he takes off his facemask in a moment of boldness he doesn’t get any reaction. 

- And he realizes that shit he’s lucked out- because you definably don’t know who he is- or who bts are. 

- You take a peek at his apartment after a nice conversation and almost swoon- because how the fuck is the rent so low when that place is so nice- and hella cute. 

- He watches as you compliment the bathroom and the crown molding- which he hadn’t even noticed. And he realizes how disconnected he’s gotten from the general public. 

- You don’t think much of Hoseok at first- maybe that he’s a little cagey and more than a little secretive- he wears facemasks everywhere and you hardly ever see him take it off if he’s not at home.

- His sudden hair color changes perplex you the most.

- At first you guys have such opposite schedules that you hardly ever feel like you’re living with anyone.

- Then Hoseok gets home at 3am to find you dancing in a extra large nightshirt and eating a tub of ice cream with the music blasting and he joins in- turning the music up ( the song was “fuck it” by big bang).

- It doesn’t matter that you can’t dance for shit- that you’re literally soo terrible- you dance with more energy and passion than half the idols he’s met. 

- Breathlessly you comment on his dancing skills and he just smiles and say’s “yeah I dance a little on the side.” 

- You never really ask him what he does- you just assume that it pays well after his entire closet is overflowing with Gucci and designer clothes. 

- Which you totally steal out of the clean laundry.

- Queue some small domestic spats about him turning one of your white sweaters pink with a Gucci sweater right before you wanted to wear it. 

- Which result in him letting you wear the offending Gucci sweater. 

- Which you don’t give back until a month later when he goes too your room and demands it back. 

- Your midnight dance party’s become more frequent- and when it finally gets a little warmer you guys take to drinking out on the balcony and watching the cars drive by and the glowing turquoise neon lights of Omelas pub across the street. 

- You talk about everything and anything

- Sometime you’ll walk out a 4 am and find something keeping him up- or he finds you working on an assignment. 

- And you’ll go downstairs to the café or across town to your favorite dinner to cheer him up with comfort food. 

- After a while Hoseok starts to realize that this is the first normal friendship that he’s had in a long long time. 

- Sure the boys are great but there are no expectations between you two- it’s just effortless. Your budding friendship only building when the both of you have time. 

- He doesn’t have to wear a mask with you- at all. In fact- it almost seems like you can tell when he’s hiding something. Which is something that only the boys can do.  

- And he’s not sure he would have this easy relationship with you if you knew he was an idol- so he does his best to keep it from you.  

- He wants too keep the little slice of normalcy he has in his little apartment above the café.

- The two of you Lying on the ground in front of fans with you when the air-conditioning breaks on the hottest day of the summer.

- Going on runs together in the morning on his day’s off. 

- Coming home to find that you made too much dinner. and him trying some to find out that “shit you’re a good cook.”

 - shy smiles and thankyou’s over communally consumed cups of coffee on Sunday's 

- Dance parties.

-  Finding your colorful socks left in the washing machine. 

- One day he comes back midday to find you just home from a run- and you’re making food while bopping to some music in a sports bra and a pair of shorts that look suspiciously like his.

- And he freezes when he starts to hear you rap part of cypher pt 4. 

- His part. 

- He yanks out your headphones when your eyes rise to meet his and he can’t tell if the feeling in his stomach is apprehension, fear, or longing to have all of it out in the open. 

- “I didn’t know you liked rap music,” he says mildly, trying to keep his tone casual. You just shrug and keep cutting up vegetables.

- “I just found this song on iTunes and it’s totally my new work out jam- Wanna stick around for lunch? I’m making veggie stir-fry.” He snags a carrot off of your cutting board. 

- “Can’t I’ve gotta get back.” You just shrug and put your headphones back in. 

- He confesses to the boys that you still don’t know who he is and they’re all kind of shook.  

- Half of them think he should tell you- after all you’ve found they’re music so you’re bound to get curious about them enough too look up their faces one day.  

- But Hoseok just can’t- he can’t help but think the knowledge that he’s an idol will change everything for your relationship. 

- And besides- he’s starting to get a twinge in his heart whenever he looks your way. And he knows what it means- even if he’s too stubborn and busy to confront it yet. 

- Surprisingly Jungkook understands- and advises him too keep it a secret. 

- So he does.  But it gets harder day-by-day. 

- He goes away for a short tour- and just tells you that he has to go away for a business trip.

- He gives you his number so that you can stay in contact about the apartment (in case there’s a problem or something breaks while he’s away for the month) 

- But he’s not surprised that you guys just end up texting each other every day

- You mention that you have a really big exam and that you’ll be up late that night and he calls the café downstairs and begs them to deliver- after all he has a tab racked up anyway there. 

- And you open the door too one of the cooks giving you a late and something sweet with a heart drawn on the back and just an “good luck –H”

- And you can’t stop smiling for the rest of the day. 

- And you realize that you’ve begun to really miss him when he’s away- and you realize that all the little gestures he makes for you. 

- When he comes back you cook together for a week- because he finally has time off and you have the final push before finals.

- You guys do everything together for that week. You watch TV. go too a few museums together, take walks at night when insomnia has both of you restless

- And yes- you have your famous dance parties (that have become almost routine at this point.)

- You even cuddle up on the couch together after a movie marathon. And Hoseok almost looses it when you fall asleep on his shoulder. His hands shake as he runs his fingers through your hair. 

- He never wants this too end. This quiet peace he has with you. 

- With you, he can take off his mask. 

- He’s always careful not too sing in the shower anymore- after all these months you still don’t know he’s an idol. 

- And he’s even more worried that you’ll find out one day. 

- You decorate the apartment for Christmas. With garlands, lights, and a tree in the corner by the water stain. He has a big-hit Christmas dinner to go too Christmas eve- but when he comes home he finds you watching a Christmas special on the TV. 

- You smile and open up your fluffy blanket for him and he sinks into the couch next too you- taking off his tie as you ask about his day. 

- Your legs are warm and bare next too his silk dress pants. 

- You hand him a little gift- wrapped in gold wrapping paper. 

- “Just a little something for being a good roommate, and giving me cheap rent.” 

- It’s a little bracelet with the Hangeul for hope attached too it. Small and silver.  

- His heart stutters- and you take his silence to be something bad. 

- “You’re always talking about hope- I just-“ “I love it.” 

- He looks up at you- realizing how close your faces are. He takes your hand in his. 

- “Thank you y/n- it’s perfect.” You just smile up at him.

- “I got you something too.” Really he’s had it for ages- since he first started to feel love sting in his chest and tug on the strings of his heart. 

- He comes back too the room too the announcer blaring into your living room – “up next a pre-recorded performance of Bangtan Sonyondan! Performing their new Christmas song!” 

- and he freezes because how the fuck could he forget. It had only been a few days ago that they had finished recording the special Christmas episode. 

- He thinks fast- jumping on the couch “your Christmas present is tickling!” and he tickles you until you can’t breathe around your laughter. 

- He barely manages to switch the channel before the commercial ends- turning it too a Christmas movie (love actually) that coincidentally he knows you love.  

- Your laugh fills his apartment as you cry. “No fair! I was watching that!” 

-  But you forget about it when he finally presents you with your gift. You open it slowly.  

- It’s a Gucci sweater- your favorite one that you always steal from Hoseok’s closet only this one is brand new tag still on it- the price scribbled out. 

- It’s easily the priciest gift you’ve ever received. 

- “Hoseok… this must have been so expensive” and you’re right- the sweater was several hundred dollars more expensive then one months rent. 

- Hoseok just shrugs and teases “now you wont have to steal them from me anymore.” And you pull him down into a bone-crushing hug.

- And maybe its wrong- maybe it’s horrible for him too feel something for you when you’re his roommate. 

-  Maybe it’s horrible of him to feel his heart beat faster when he’s been lying to you. 

- Maybe its because its Christmas Eve and he has no one but you. 

- He lies there for a moment. Him on top of you his head pressed into your shoulder.

- The length of his body pressed against yours- happy for another person’s warmth on this cold night. 

- He falls asleep for a little while- comforted by you, and wakes up to the luxurious feeling of your fingers rubbing down his spine underneath the covers.  

- Cuddles become more of a regular thing for the two of you even after this as the winter slowly shifts to spring. 

- He can tell when you’ve had a bad day- he’ll just pull you down, and you’ll do the same for him. 

- Your first kiss happens a few weeks after that- when you’re both cooking a communal dinner and he you just look so cute when you laugh after he accidentally flips some chicken from a pan onto the floor. 

- And he accidentally acts on his hidden feelings, pressing a kiss too the corner of your mouth so quickly. 

- You’re a little stunned but then you kiss him back. 

- If it seems at all possible you guys become even more effortless after that- pressing kisses too his lips when he leaves and the opposite. 

- It becomes natural for you too sleep in his bed. 

- But you don’t realize how serious you’ve both gotten until one month you go to pay rent and he just waves his hand saying- “don’t worry about it.”

-  You still both haven’t had that talk yet.

- You know the one where you define your relationship- this domestic love that is slow and lovely and so hopeful. 

-  You still haven’t told him how you really feel- and though he’s made his feeling clear too 

- You’re certain he wouldn’t put up with how needy you are sometimes if he didn’t want you around at least a little bit. 

- It still bothers you that you can’t call yourself his girlfriend yet. 

- But things pick up before you can talk about it- he goes on tour again- and he feels even more horrible for lying to you day by day. 

- And your finals hit- and everything goes perfectly until you get one of your grades back and you failed- like flat out failed the class- you find out at the worst time. 

- Hoseok isn’t here and as far as you know he wont be back until next week.  

- You’re crying in the kitchen eating ice-cream when he walks in his suitcase dragging behind him- tired from his 15 hours of plane flights. 

- At this point you’re basically balling about everything- you’re just so overwhelmed. 

- “Y/n’ he calls quietly. And you turned shocked. Trying to wipe away your tears before he sees.

- But he does see, and he wipes away your tears before begging you to tell him what’s wrong and you tell him about your exam and he listens too you through all of it wiping away your tears with his thumb. 

- When you’re done he just pulls you too your feet and takes your hand in his. 

- And leads you too the center of your kitchen- taking you in his arms.

- A hand rubbing the small of your back while taking your other hand in his large hands. 

- He slow dances with you- at 3 am in his kitchen. 

- There’s no music like usual- Nothing but his quiet humming. 

- You lean your head against his chest. 

- And you hear him humming a song you recognize- it’s a song by bts, 

- Which is surprising too you- because he’s only ever told you that he doesn’t really listen to them

- When it gets to your favorite part you stop moving.

- Because his humming- the pitch of it. 

- How his vocal cords wrap around the tune- sounds exactly like the voice that you hear out of your headphones. 

- You look up at him and he stops humming. 

- “Hoseok are you-?” you just trail off- when you realize that you’ve never asked him what he does. 

- He can see you slowly putting it together- his busy schedule- his cagey personality- his obvious wealth. 

- “Please I can explain if you let me, y/n just- please don’t freak out.” He pleads.

- And he sits you down before trying to explain everything too you. 

- You sit quietly listening too his story. 

- He looks at you with baited breath when he’s finished waiting for your response. “Please I never wanted to lie too you- but after I while I just got so scared that you would leave or move out-“

- You start laughing - and it’s a little funny the impossibility of this situation.

- The guy that millions of girls probably lust after just ends up being your roommate because you answered a misspelled add in the newspaper. (he was drunk- so you don’t blame him that much).

-  After you tell him why you’re laughing his faces looses his worried expression.  

- “How could you ever think that I wouldn’t want to stay- Hoseok I admire everything that you do- you work so hard and I’m just- I’m astounded I didn’t realize sooner.” 

-“So you’re not mad?’ you just grin at him and shrug “Maybe a little? Maybe I could see you perform and meet the other members as an apology.” 

- He introduces you as his girlfriend too the boys- and you love all of them and they all love you.

- By the end of it he can’t imagine why he was so worried about it in the first place because you’re such a natural at this. 

- Bighit talks too the both of you about keeping your relationship a secret- but it doesn’t seem too be much of a problem. 

- Life continues as usual- only Hoseok has someone to come home too and love him and it’s more than he ever hoped for in his life. 

- Dance parties start to end with your hips pinned against the kitchen counter and his hungry lips against your neck. 

- Shared Showers after dance practice turn into tender lovemaking. 

- Study sessions turn sultry when he pulled you on to his lap. “Come on you know it’s more comfortable.” 

- Everything is absolutely perfect. 

- You graduate from college. And Hoseok takes you to your first BTS concert. And when he gets off stage you’re just there beaming at him. 

- When he looks at you he realize. 

- Home was never an apartment above a coffee shop. 

- Home was you all along.

Bonus – during the performance you totally shout, “that’s my man!” when he does a hip roll you’ve seen him do a dozen times in your kitchen.