I Hate Being So Fucking Self-aware All The Time

Dad guy: guess who came to visit!

Patton: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

Dad character and Patton: *squealing while hugging each other and jumping around in circles*

Teacher character: *poking Logan’s cheek over and over* say that you missed me. say that you missed me.say that you missed me.say that you missed me.say that you missed me.say that you missed me–

Logan: >:[

Prince character: why hello there, handsome?

Roman: hello yourself, handsome.

Prince character: you ready?

Roman: always

Prince character: let’s do this

Roman: *runs towards the Prince character*

Prince character: *catches Roman effortlessly, lifts him in the air and spins him around*

Roman: weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

i took a really short personality quiz bc i was bored and wtf it’s so accurate

like literally every line describes me 

“Your temperament is melancholic. The melancholic temperament is fundamentally introverted and thoughtful. Melancholic people often were perceived as very (or overly) pondering and considerate, getting rather worried when they could not be on time for events. Melancholics can be highly creative in activities such as poetry and art - and can become preoccupied with the tragedy and cruelty in the world. Often they are perfectionists. They are self-reliant and independent; one negative part of being a melancholic is that they can get so involved in what they are doing they forget to think of others.“

Also im very excited about the new merch! Not just the color theory and orange side theory lol 

Cant wait to spend all of my money :P

guys its been 40 minutes and im already theorizing

I cant tell exactly what flower it is, but marigolds can symbolize cruelty, grief and jealousy, ranunculus can symbolize careless behaviour and (this one is just for fun), but poppies can symbolize sLEEP REMY WHERE ARE YOU

Spoilers for the end of the bloopers vid btw!!

So since (im assuming..) the next ep. will take place at night (bc of the one shot of thomas coming in the door and its dark).. im assuming the back of logans shots are gonna be dark bc of the windows in the kitchen and that sounds rlly cool and mysterious to me

Lol thats the most weird thing sorry :P

Also sry to thomas and the team for filming late, they must be so tired from all that ;_;

--spoilers for the thing at the end of the bloopers video--

OKAY so i just took a shower and I’ve had more time to think about the trailer and my thoughts (and the shower was like 25 mins long plus me pacing the floor for another 25 mins thinking about it lol) so.. here we go i guess?

also sry for bad grammar and my tone changing a lot

So first of all, I’ve thought about what the moral of the next episode will be. I don’t think it’s going to be “DECEIT WAS RIGHT AND THE END OF SVS WAS WRONG” for 2 reasons-- 1, that would kind of go against the point of a sander sides episode. The point of them is to help people with their own problems and mental stuff and whatever and being like “be selfless... ha jk lol” would be against that. Second, when svs came out, pippin_katz on twitter tweeted Thomas a vid of her mom talking about the episode. And her mom was saying stuff like “well like i think thomas made the wrong choice cause he should do what he wants to be happy and mary lee should respect that since thomas can make it up later! she’ll understand!” basically what everyone who doesn’t like the ending of the episode is saying. And thomas replied like “yeah but it was thomas’ choice to be selfless” or something i dont remember, but point is he didn’t say the ending of the episode was wrong. So what im thinking is that instead of the moral/theme being “svs is wrong” it’ll be more like “yes, make a point to be selfless, but sometimes to be happy you have to be selfish” or “sometimes you’ll make sacrifices and they won’t turn out the way you planned and you have to accept that” (since when thomas said “what the f*** everybody” be sounded frustrated af)

k second thing

my theory is that the entire episode will be thomas going through the events of the entire wedding in his head (like when we saw pokemon style him up against an opponent, which im assuming is a family member he doesn’t like, and if going on his phone cause things were getting boring and him feeling stressed like jumping over lava in a platformer) and the sides talking about it before coming to a conclusion at the end. Also roman feeling guilty af about it (cause he was the one to seal thomas’ fate to go to the wedding) 

Okay so that leads me to a third thing; at first, I thought that when we see deceit, he’ll be cocky the entire episode, like in SvS. However, remember in SvS when Thomas was thinking and we heard this in the background:

[Deceit]: Wow, guys, it's so cool how you never listen to Roman.

(sarcastically) (thanks sanders sides wiki for the transcript)

Since Deceit is thomas’ self-preservation, it’s his job to keep thomas from being vulnerable too much and (extreme example) giving his address to murderers and stuff. His job is to keep thomas from bad things and protect his well-being. So.. my thought is that he might (by the end of the episode, anyway) end up feeling bad about it. Like “well f*ck, I couldn’t convince Thomas to go to call back, I failed Thomas I failed my host he’s sad now ahhhHH” And going back to roman, he might see roman sad and feel guilty about it, since the quote sorta shows him sorta caring about roman? like not showing it directly but..)

ANYWAY its almost 11pm and im not gonna be able to sleep anyway from freaking out too much so i should stop typing now and go to bed to get as much sleep as i can

night!

--spoilers for the thing at the end of the bloopers video--

look into my eyes and just try and tell me that I'm wrong

my new therapist is so nice what

I still have a lot of worries, but I’m feeling a lot better for the future :D

the tragedy of !badboyhalo, (why his nature is good, not evil)

Okay I'm going to rant abt !bbh (tr!bad and q!bad) cuz i have so many thoughts. normally I put them on twitter but that's too short of a wordcount LOL (based on the little short animatic I did on the "what do you want to be when you grow up?" "kind" audio)

So, beginning with a recap of lore relevant to my post in case some people don't know, starting with bad's home being heaven. We know he was there for a time unquantifiable by human standards, as he was "outside of time" before being booted from heaven onto earth. We also know from recent lore that bad's job has something to do with destruction, killing and possibly bringing about the end of the world. He started this when he made all the dinosaurs extinct, but apparently, he was too early, and heaven(?) locked him away under the Euphrates River in a void-like pit for about a thousand years. Then bad either escaped or was let free, and has roamed the earth for roughly 15,000 years until now, where it seems that his role of destruction is finally ready to be played. Or at least, that's why he's building the cathedral, to get a message from heaven to see if its time to proceed. We also know his kids are waiting for him in heaven, and he probably can't return to them until he completes this mission.

NOW. onto my headcanons and theories. I like to think that bad wasn't always meant for this role, or there was a period of time where he was unaware he'd have to do this. Then, either as a punishment for something he did, or simply because heaven unluckily chose him, bad was turned into an angel of death/fallen angel/angel of the apocalypse. (hence my design changes of him looking like a basic angel and then changing)

I find this so interesting because, despite the selfishness, talk of killing and being insane, and this being his default nature, I disagree completely. His nature isn't to kill, or at least it wasn't something he chose himself. I think that was a result of when he was given his mission and over the period of time under the Euphrates and his 15,000 years of losing people he loves over and over and over and over. Because that sort of thing ruins even the best people, and the fact that bad still has some good in him even after all of this shows just how much "evil" ISN'T his true nature. If it were, then he wouldn't still make attachments, he wouldn't get sad when people die, he wouldn't drink himself into oblivion to cope with the pain of losing people.

If killing were his true nature, he wouldn't care what happens to people around him. But he DOES. Even after everything that's happened to him, he still cares, and that is heartbreakingly beautiful. He knows and says all the time how every mortal he cares about will die, maybe even by his own hand, but he loves anyway. He just can't help it.

His job, his purpose that is forced on him, is to kill and destroy, but deep down, he doesn't even seem to really want to!! Sure, he likes chaos, or the occasional kill, but only when it's not permanent. He doesn't find joy in taking life permanently. You can even look at the pranks he does; he never is truly destructive, only wanting to cause chaos in a way that won't genuinely hurt the other person.

He would never admit it either, to everyone else, he keeps up the perception of someone who kills for fun and doesn't give a shit about any living creature other than himself. Tr!water is right about the way bad lies, because when he says those things, he's lying to himself as well. Trying to convince himself that he doesn't care and he's not like that, because what the hell is he supposed to do? How could he physically cope with the fact that he's always going to love people and he's going to lose them every single time for all of eternity? That's the kind of thing he'll only admit when he's five bottles deep in Mike's lemonade.

That is the tragedy of !badboyhalo. If he were inately evil, his life would be a whole lot easier, wouldn't it? But he isn't, and he's going to keep loving and caring forever because if he hasn't lost that part of him yet, I don't think he ever will, and that is the most upsetting part of his character to me. Born to care, but created to destroy.

The amount of people who don’t watch any Green povs and entirely misconstrue the characters and their dynamics and treat their perspectives as fact is craaaazy to me

Like, sure, Green isn’t as “united” as Yellow or Blue might seem to be. Green doesn’t have an objective leader; the closest is Bad, and he doesn’t even really acknowledge himself as any sort of leader because doing so would go against Green’s very core philosophy: freedom of choice.

The Green Faction was originally formed to spite Foolish. It was also formed specifically to protest against the monarchy seemingly trying to rule over the entire server. (To this day, we have King Foolish saying that he’d have everyone under his rule besides Bad, sooooo…)

Green Team is made up of anti-monarchists who prioritize their own actions above anything else. They all just kinda do what they want, which is what the faction was specifically created for. They don’t have to answer to anybody, everyone is their own king or supreme leader. Bad can kill the King. Pangi can kill Pili. Hannah can hang out with Aimsey. Pac can steal. Lukey can build an illegal meth alchemy lab.

And yet Green Faction tries to hold elections for important faction business like Owen’s Whole Thing. When Pangi wants to do something extreme, he always goes to Bad for his opinion. Hannah tells Pangi about the secret deals she made with the Keepers. Bad makes sure that everybody is geared up with the most OP stuff possible, and he builds enormous Things for the purpose of bringing the faction together (and making them look cooler than the Kingdom lol.)

Green always tries to keep at least one member of the faction in the loop of what’s going on. While they may only have one common goal, screw with the Kingdom, what lies at the heart of the faction are the individuality of the members and the bonds they share. They’re all friends, they all look up to each other, and they’ll all work together if one member asks for help.

As for Owen, he’s a temporary member. That was agreed upon way back after the End event, he isn’t going to stay on Green. But even he fits in, what with his whole Individuality And Chaos thing. The difference between him and the rest of Green is that the others trust each other and are extremely loyal. Owen, meanwhile, is kinda just hanging out and mumbling to himself as he plots and schemes.

Sure, it might be the least unified faction on the surface, but anybody who watches even a second of any of their POVs can see how unified they really are. They’re anti-authority freedom fighters united in a goal to help the server’s weak and spread the ideas of whimsy, joy, and individuality to a server filled with kings and supreme leaders and Keepers and snails.

(You might say that they can’t be individualistic if they’re in a faction, but it’s easier to think about it like they’re a unified group of anarchists. No government, but a bunch of people with the same ideology.

In short: a near-reincarnation of the Syndicate.)

(And, well. How many people have defected from/been kicked out of/been bullied out of the Green Faction?)

Happy Halloween!!!!!! I’m gonna eat so much candy today and then feel really sick afterwards