May 6, 2025
May 6, 2025
The last two days? Much better.
Figured out how to start a private Substack that requires subscription approvals (score one for utilizing the benefits of that platform without its non-sense). Made sure I got in my requisite movement yesterday (a 30 minute walk). Politely told the friend who flaked on hanging out over the weekend not to ask me anywhere else unless she plans to actually show up.
Re: the Substack. I popped open a blank page and the words showed up. Liked I turned on a fucking faucet. It was incredible. Shout out to Neptune in Aries opposite my Mercury. I told a friend it feels like my mind is drowning in fire.
And so's my body. Spent an extra few minutes in bed this morning for some self-care, because shit. I felt good. Took longer than usual to put on my clothes because I couldn't stop looking at myself. I graduated college 19 years ago today. This is the finest I've ever felt.
Apparently, I just needed some movement.
More Posts from Afallenvenusian and Others
May 10, 2025
Being quite rational and into metaphysics means someone always takes it too far. I can do Human Design right up until they start talking about "The New Paradigm" and I have to check out. My favorite YouTube tarot reader is so on point (she called what I'm experiencing right now with Mars in Leo – the drive to be out and seen again) and is an anarchist.
(It's always funny how these "radicals" are people of privilege who won't feel the real consequences of their predictions. Meanwhile, my black ass – a daughter of addicts who fought tooth and nail for the structure and stability they all deride – has a real life and a 70 year old mother about to retire who may or may not have access to social security or health care but please. Continue to regale us about how "failing institutions are actually good for us").
Where was I going with this? Oh, yeah. The problem is they nail the personal shit so I can't quit them. Just take what works, leave the rest, and trust myself to handle whatever fuckery the world throws my way.
But the being lit up again? That shit is real. I can't stay inside or off the phone. I'm thinking at the speed of the light, craving movement and stimulation. What I thought was living was only resting and preparation for my next era. The Back Outside, Doing, and Making Era. The Go Time, Ready or Not Era.
It's wild, heady shit.
May 4, 2025
Daily writing is back. One: I can feel the gray clouds of void (shouts to The Thunderbolts*) rolling over the horizon which means your girl needs habits. Daily assignments that get me moving when my mind tells my body to retreat. Two: this also helps with cultivating gratitude because when I don't know what to write, "What are you grateful for?" is a solid prompt. Three: actively working with Human Design means doubling-down on what I love to align with my Strategy. Even when I don't know what to say, my body lights up over a keyboard with an empty screen. Authority doesn't get more sacral than that.
So, here I am. May the Fourth be with me or whatever.
I knew something was off yesterday when a friend canceling our plans to hang out at the art museum (mere hours before we were scheduled to meet up) sent me on a spiral. I was already planning my outfit. I was looking forward to catching up, seeing where she is in life, and if I'm honest, performing my personality a bit. I have Leo Rising with a Sun in the 3H – conversation is my stage du jour. Being robbed of the spotlight for an afternoon not only had me ready to rage but activated a "Hey. What if your perfect Solo lifestyle isn't so perfect after all? You wouldn't cling to plans to get attention if you didn't live alone" thought whirlpool. I won't tell you who that voice in my head sounds like because he is a politician, but let's just say he may or may not have had a dalliance with a couch.
Thankfully, The Thunderbolts* was showing at my neighborhood movie theater at the same time I would have gone to the museum. So I had something to get up and get dressed for. The movie not only hit (good for Marvel), but hit a little too hard. Then, my mother texting "Well, that sucked," in reaction to Miami Grand Prix Qualifying put a literal pit in my stomach on the drive home. And I had to concede that the Sunken Place was, indeed, calling because no way should a man I've never met driving too slow around a race track trigger that kind of physical reaction.
The outlook isn't great. Not alarming. But definitely giving "Meh. What's the point?"
I know from experience. There is no point. You put one foot in front of the other until a point finds you.
Step one: daily writing.
Branzino x asparagus x turmeric basmati rice
Museum lectures
Conversations with strangers over flutes of prosecco
Creative flow
Friends who read my writing
Formula 1 drama
HD Strategy and Authority
Cathartic work lunches
Grateful for...
Breathable cotton undies
Men's ribbed tanks
Money to spend
Friends to bounce ideas off
Having ideas again
Neptune in Aries
Silent nights
Rewatchables episodes
Rainbows in the sky outside my window
What - and who - did Christopher Columbus find when he landed in the Caribbean?
Professor Suzannah Lipscomb and Dr. Alice Samson explore the dynamic and complex encounters between Europeans and Indigenous Peoples of the Caribbean following Christopher Columbus's arrival in 1492. Discover the stories of fierce resistance, unexpected alliances, and the blending of religious traditions, enhanced by unique archaeological evidence from the Isle de Mona. They shed new light on the cultural dialogues and exchanges that defined a momentous period in history.
Adding to the queue.
