Can't Decide Whether It's Funnier To Say "my Hungry Ass Could Never Work At A" And Then Say Something

I wish I had a hairy chest like yours😞😔

don’t worry smooth king, you are hydrodynamic and can easily outmaneuver maritime predators

*literally choking with want* nah man it's fine DW about it

are you loud in bed?

you could say that

when i was

Do you think the Jack of all trades and the master of one explored each others bodies

your freak-of-nature boyfriend that we locked up in a high security lab is loose in the fucking facility send help before he kills us all

baby i can avoid eye contact in ways you’d never fuckin believe

i love the concept of divorce lawyers. the only things in the world that have the power to undo your marriage are death itself or a special little boy with a law degree.