Achypuppy - Silly Puppy!! 🥴

Every time a small child starts crying or having a tantrum in my vicinity and I catch the parents glancing at me I’ve started saying “me when…”.

Friend kept trying to tell his crying kindergartener to calm down and relax and the kid growled “I AM relaxed” while visibly tensing every muscle in his body and I was like “oh that’s me at work every day” and we had a chuckle.

Parents look to other adults like “shit are they mad? Do they think my kid is acting like a demon?” And this response is my attempt to say “no. I think your kid is just acting like a human being.”

I WISH I could fling myself on the ground and cry because I experienced a minor inconvenience.

i love being so horny that i feel like an animal in heat.....rutting against anything and all i can think about is getting fucked dumb. thinking about rubbing up against my owners knees and showing my throbbing hole for them, trying to let them know i need to be bred.

it does suck that you can’t headcanon that a character would go bald when they’re older without people assuming you’re making a joke. Like it’s not allowed to be a “cool thing” to headcanon

Guess who just started T 🥰

sorry i forcefemmed your favourite minecraft hardcore challenge youtuber. yeah i did it in 100 days

the biggest mistake people make is assuming that weird sex with women is about mommy issues and weird sex with men is about daddy issues. wrong. a woman can be your father too. #feminism

wanna be called puppy in mundane situations, “thank you puppy” when i do you a favor, “pretty puppy” when i show off my outfit, “c’mere puppy” when asking to cuddle

Puppy being tricked into topping??? Owner who coos at them and tells them to stop whining while making their puppy fuck them for once

“Shhh shhh no sweet boy you’re not topping don’t worry, it’s just like when you hump your pillow that’s all. Come on be a good doggy, move your hips for me.”

Pathetic dog that tears up but keeps humping because they wanna be good for their owner

“Fuck, there ya go. Good pup, good doggy.”