Bad Timing To Claim Your Love For Richard Ayoade...😬

If animals, real or imaginary, feature heavily in your story, give this a read. In fiction, carnivores are frequently depicted as incredibly vicious and as attacking every other living creature on sight, whereas herbivores are depicted as gentle, benign, and typically only hurt humans on accident if they panic, such as by rearing or stampeding. This is bullshit. Firstly, many herbivores are incredibly vicious and are in fact far more likely to attack a person just for being nearby. This especially goes for large herd ungulates like rhinos, hippos, Cape buffalo, and moose. All of these are highly aggressive to humans and in general. Bison are considerably more chill than their African cousins, but they still send tourists flying (sometimes to their graves) in Yellowstone due to people trying to get too close and treat them like a petting zoo. Deer, often imagined as the pinnacle of fearful and delicate, will typically choose flight over fight…but should they choose to fight, especially a male in rut or a female with a fawn, they can and will kill a human being. Even a rabbit will do its best to fuck someone up if they feel they are threatened. Remember, every animal will fight for its life with all its got, and to herbivores, EVERYTHING is a potential threat. If an animal they’re not familiar with as “safe” is nearby, they will assume it’s a threat. There are some prey animals that are surprisingly docile—videos I’ve seen of people interacting with a wild potoroo and a Bosavi wooly rat show them to be incredibly chill, and the quokka is famous for its lack of fear towards humans—but these are the exception, not the rule. Wild carnivores aren’t cute pets just waiting for the right special animal-loving protagonist to take them home, but they aren’t these constantly-aggressive, constantly-angry, constantly-ravenous monsters either that so much media makes out. They most certainly will hunt when they’re hungry, and in the rare instance they decide to make a meal of a human, that human is indeed fucked (it’s hilarious to me how many people think they could fight off a lion, tiger, etc.) but unless it’s truly starving and desperate* most of them are not going to make a point of pursuing a potential meal, human or otherwise, to the exclusion of all else. Especially not if there’s other options around. Why expend all these energy chasing after the protagonists if there’s literally anything else they could catch and eat instead? And why do so many of these monster-animals seem so interested in catching and killing the protagonists, but not in actually eating them; a ridiculous number of predators in fiction will straight-up leave the body of a person they JUST killed behind in order to catch another human. Why? This makes no sense, I don’t care if it’s a fictional animal like a dragon or manticore, it’s not conducive to survival. Unless this animal is MEANT to have an actual sentient grudge (which CAN happen, a man in Russia once shot a tiger and took its kill; the tiger waited for him in his cabin when he returned) do away with the Super Persistent Predator trope. Especially when it’s an animal like a great white shark, whose preferred prey not only isn’t humans, we’re actually downright nasty to them because we don’t have the fat content of the seals and sea lions they typically eat (most great white “attacks” are just them checking us out or mistaking us for a delicious sea mammal) There are exceptions to this rant, though most are small creatures. For instance, stoats do engage in “surplus killing” and stockpile the bodies, and shrews are very aggressive little predators due to having incredibly fast metabolisms that mean they basically have to eat all the time to stay alive. And, yes, there are some large ones; the tiger shark will eat anything, bull sharks are pretty bad to be around, and the polar bear has actively hunted humans when the opportunity presents itself. But as with the “super gentle chill wild herbivore that is basically domesticated” they are the exceptions. And I’m sure you know of other exceptions; the fact they are “exceptions” in the first place means it’s NOT the norm. If there’s a reason the animals in your story are hyper-aggressive and persistent to a point they seem almost consciously evil, that’s fine—genetically engineered that way, for instance—but have there be a REASON. It’s seldom the default in nature. Think of it this way: You’d fight a lot harder to save your life than you would to get a hamburger (unless saving your life required that hamburger). Consider that when you write real animals, and when you craft fictional ones.  (* Which admittedly most real life man-eaters are; most large mammals that turn to actively hunting humans have been sick, elderly, or injured in such a way they can’t pursue their normal prey. But in fiction, the animals that are absurdly focused on eating humans alone always seem in perfect health and are seldom revealed as otherwise, or even having a reason at all. It’s just presented as their default behavior. Which it is not. That’s the point of this rant.)

AU where Regina runs away from Cora into a portal and finds herself in another land and another time. She makes a fast friend and starts dreaming of a future with her, but it’s cruelly stripped away from her– she thinks forever…

         ((decades later, emma swan comes home))

You might not be her father, but you were someone’s. 

THE LAST OF US (2023) Premieres January 15, 2023 on HBO

#too relatable

LONGLEGS (2024) dir. Oz Perkins

😁

Vanessa Estelle Williams as Anne-Marie McCoy in Candyman (1992) dir. Bernard Rose / Candyman (2021) dir. Nia DaCosta

Hugh Grant as Charles Four Weddings and a Funeral (1994) | dir. Mike Newell

Stevie Nicks photographed by Peter Noble, 1981