Ok Wait Am I Stupid?

Literally who does the devil think he is? He fell from heaven after FAILING to overthrow God, was sent to hell to suffer for eternity, decides to take humanity with him, and yet FAILS at that too.

Us humans are weak. The devil is certainly stronger than us, after all, he is still that of a divine being even though he's worth less than my pocket lint. But what does that matter when we're not even fighting him? Does it really matter when he's in a battle of strength against God?

He'll keep failing. Our only job is to focus on God and know the enemy lies.

BSD manga spoilers

So like, hold up, am I tripping or am I having a fever dream. I never understand what's going on but I maybe maybe not caught onto something in the newest chapter. When Fyoder was stabby stabbyed by the guard dude, his blood got on him and he got weird. And idk if I'm just stupid, but that reminded me of Kyouka's parents immediently. There was a dude who came in and when their blood got on the parents, they also got weird. I don't think it's the same cuz I don't trust myself and also cuz it doesn't explain how Fyoder kept his former appearance. Clearly he's different cuz he used to have a scar on his cheek when Sigma saw his memories but now that scar is gone. Also, he died in the memory, so, like...whaaat? So, I ain't too sure how he got another body identical to himself. Also, that reminds me of dead apple when his ability took form differently than the others. Perhaps he wasn't entirely lying to sigma about his ability. Unlike eveyone else's ability, none of them were really sentient. They just attack blankly, meanwhile, Fyoder's ability can talk and think like he was a person. It also wasn't attacking him. This makes me think multiple things that I'm too dumb to really get into.

#bsd #Fyoder #bungou stray dogs #ch 114 #chapter 114

I call these the Dazai Chronicles lol

Also it won't make sense if you haven't seen ep 1 but what's going on is Junichiro and Dazai are pulling pranks on people. Sooo that's why there are 2.

I just went to sweet frogs and on the way and my family was discussing politics and how America may or may not survive these 4 years long enough to fix it back up. It had gotten me pretty down cuz it looked pretty grim when this happened:

Mom: Don't be so down, at least you're still here.

Me: Yeah, but for how long?

Mom: As long as Jesus says so.

The moment she said that, I felt so much better. I had forgotten who was in control. But knowing nothing can happen unless God let's it happen makes me feel sooo much better.

God works :)

The difference between sin and continuous sin

Two people were eating poison, and I came up to them giving them a warning. I say, "stop, do not eat that poison, fo you will surely die". One obeys and heads the warning, turning from the poison and throwing it away, while the other refuses and continues to eat it. The one who disobeyed dies and the other lives. This is like sin. All sins are forgivable for Christ, (except for blasphemy if the holy spirit as well as recieving the mark of the beast) so both had equal opportunity to live. But if you refuse to listen, you will surely fall.

This is the case with many things. Porn, cheating, murder, abuse, drinking, lying, sexual immorality, and yes, whether we like it or not, that includes LGBTQ+ activity. It is a choice made everyday and if continued until the day of judgement or, you know, when we die, it's too late as there was no repentance. But the one who sinned and turns from it with a watchful eye, no matter how many times they fall short, as long as they truthfully give it their all to turn from their sins and toward Jesus, they will be accepted into heaven.

So throw the posion out and be the one who lives

It's ok to say I don't know

I don't know. I don't know a lot of things and that's ok. Some things are meant to stay unknown and that is fine. I don't know why God let's people suffer. I could say it strengthens you. I could say it's part of a bigger plan that will do wonders for you or someone else down the line. I could say it's to show you a reality you were blind to prior. I could say He was testing you. But I don't know. There could be a number of reasons, but I don't know. Nobody knows. And we don't need to. We don't need to know why children die of cancer. We don't need to know why there is so much sickness. We don't need to know why there are drouts or floods, hunger or starvation. We just need to know one thing:

That God knows

And that's called faith

God has a purpose for you, bigger than yourself, bigger than you can imagine. David established his kingdom, yes, but his influence stretched much farther than Israel and much longer than his reign. Job perservered and proved his loyalty to God, yes, but he also taught as example to his friends, family, and us, generations after his story. There is no bounds to what God can do, all that is stopping you is yourself. Not even the enemy, demons, or satan himself could stop you if God has enabled you. You will lose many battles but the war has been won on the cross, so know that all the losses, sacrifices, and suffering that comes with this path is nothing compared to the victory of Jesus.

Remember the days you cried alone? Remember all the pain you went through? Remember all the sorrow and anger? Now for a different set of questions. Do you remember the days you laughed happily? Or the days of perfect comfort and a warm bed? Or the joy and love you felt? Why is it that we hold God so responsible for the first set of questions but not for the latter? He provides all that is good, not all that is suffering. Sometimes I'm so focused on being ok that I don't sit to just see the reality of things. The person who gives me grief and suffering and trauma isn't God. He let's it happen so he can do good things, but He did not do it. It was actually an ugly and stupid snake. The same snake that tried to drag me to hell because he's a salty failure and has no life. The same snake who dare try and decieve me and all of my brothers and sisters. The same snake who if you gave me the chance, I would run a pipe down it's skull and out the other end, place it over a fire, and have a cookout. I hate that snake. But don't hate God because the snake is annoying.

Guess who's still crying about Beast? Me! I watched the movie and read the beggining and end of the light novel because I got lazy. Not expecting the end in the movie though. Spoiler drawing ahead and comments btw

Made me so sad. I was going to rant in another post, but I might as well do it here.

So, number one, the sugar cube scene was so adorable I literally cried. I mean it. Like I LITERALLY sobbed.

Number 2, Oda WHYYYYYYYY?! I'M LITERALLY CRYING WHILE TYPING WRITE NOW THINKING ABOUT IT. YOU ARE FRIENDS, YOU ARE, PLEASEEEE. DAZAI'S FACE WHEN HE PULLED THE GUN OUT IN THE BAR AND TOLD HIM NOT TO CALL HIM ODASAKU WAS LIKE A SLAP TO THE FACE.

Number 3, When at the end of the movie, Fyoder was being a little rat and messed everything up, I wanted to vomit out of an array of emotions. I was confused, sad, angry, and just so dang overwhelmed. Like I was ugly crying five seconds ago cuz of Dazai and then this SEWER RAT came and made me confused. I'll get into him in anothe post.

Number 4, In the movie, when Dazai stabbed his leg to show Chuuya his commitment and how much he deserves his trust didn't make sense when I saw it, however, after I recently read the book and watched the play Julius Ceaser, I was like OOOOOOOOH. Dazai immitating Portia and Chuuya Brutus made me just sooo....wow.

Number 5, When it turned out that MORI was the new director I just- absolutley NOT. Do NOT put a pedophile in his perfect Utopia, Dazai WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?! Also, I thought he killed him the whole time. Just think about it. A pedophile in an orphanage. You know how if you're being sexually assulted or something, you're supposed to tell a trusted adult like a parentor a teacher? THESE KIDS HAVE NO PARENTS.

Number 6, Chuuya being locked up in that poor governemnt facility broke my heart. Just think about how many people are going to die? Like there is no way Chuuya Nakahara is going to succumb to a bunch of itsy bitsy chains. He' breaking out and killing everyone in there and then the agency. Convince me otherwise.

Number 7, I can't. I'll make an entirely seperate post for Chuuya too, but can we just talk for a second? He went crazy because Dazai committed suicide. He went on a whole rampage and it took 3 special ability resistance units to take him down. This is what happens when there is no Dazai when he uses corruption. But the REASON he went into corruption was just...wow. I always knew they had a complicated relationship but at the same time it was just so simple. Like, they hate eachother, but they also don't. They don't like eachother, but it's not like they don't either. It's not like they complete one another, but it's like one soul in two bodies. They're so simply complicated that if you asked me what their relation was, I'd just say, they're complications. Because in reality, their relationship is just so unexplainable. You need to see it to understand it. There are relationships like lovers, enemys, frenemies, friends, siblings, etc, but they fit into literally no category but they aren't strangers either. This is getting too long, so I'll make a different post about that.

Number 8, Chuuya pleaseeee don'ttttt. There is no need to attack the agency, my guy. He wants to avenge Dazai's death, but what is there to avenge? Dazai did suicide. He wasn't killed. Chuuya was so upset that he wanted to kill all the agency. I just....can't. It's kind of sad. This is also going to be really long if I go on, so I'll make another post about this topic.

Number 9, the way Chuuya just really couldn't understand made me wanna bang my head on the wall in tears. He truly couldn't think of why Dazai did it. He was kind of alright one second and then dead the next. The entire time, you can tell how little Chuuya was incorporated into the script he wrote. The ending for each one was different as the movie had him go insane and be put under governemnt care, while the light novel just left him to do his own thing. However, in both you can see that neither of them ever knew what was going on. Dazai never gave him a reason to why he killed himself. Everyone else seems to be going on like nothing happened or at least as if they know what happened and came to terms with it, but then he knows nothing. He was his bodyguard and right hand man and yet NOTHING. I'll get back to this in another post lol. TvT

So yeah. I cried a lot.

Dazai Chronicles Episode 3 guys

Idk, I just felt that it was funny. He wouldn't react this way but it'd be funny if he did lol