"𝐽𝑒 𝑡’𝑎𝑖𝑚𝑒. 𝐴𝑢𝑗𝑜𝑢𝑟𝑑’ℎ𝑢𝑖. 𝐶𝑒 𝑠𝑜𝑖𝑟.

—Joan of Arc

Beauty is terror, whatever we call beautiful, we quiver before it. -The Secret History

The little orphan girl represented loneliness, sadness, being invisible. Emilia sat at the window as she watched another little girl get adopted—for the fourth time this week. She always wondered if something was wrong with her. She was aware that she was a bit odd. She liked things other kids didn’t. She read books about the stars and whispered to moths at night. She remembered the sound of rain more than the voices of the people who came and went. She wasn’t the kind of child who ran up to visitors with painted smiles and perfect manners. She stayed quiet. Observing. Feeling too much and saying too little. And maybe that was the problem. She tucked a loose curl behind her ear and leaned her forehead against the window. Outside, the world kept moving. Cars passed. Clouds drifted. People chose. But never her. At least not yet.

—A lady and her quill, Life at St. Stephen's Orphanage.

𝑇𝘩𝑒 𝑛𝑖𝑔𝘩𝑡 𝑖𝑠 𝑑𝑎𝑟𝑘𝑒𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑟𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑑 𝑚𝑒, 𝑇𝘩𝑒 𝑤𝑖𝑙𝑑 𝑤𝑖𝑛𝑑𝑠 𝑐𝑜𝑙𝑑𝑙𝑦 𝑏𝑙𝑜𝑤; 𝐵𝑢𝑡 𝑎 𝑡𝑦𝑟𝑎𝑛𝑡 𝑠𝑝𝑒𝑙𝑙 𝘩𝑎𝑠 𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑑 𝑚𝑒, 𝐴𝑛𝑑 𝐼 𝑐𝑎𝑛𝑛𝑜𝑡, 𝑐𝑎𝑛𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑔𝑜. 𝑇𝘩𝑒 𝑔𝑖𝑎𝑛𝑡 𝑡𝑟𝑒𝑒𝑠 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑏𝑒𝑛𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑇𝘩𝑒𝑖𝑟 𝑏𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑔𝘩𝑠 𝑤𝑒𝑖𝑔𝘩𝑒𝑑 𝑤𝑖𝑡𝘩 𝑠𝑛𝑜𝑤; 𝑇𝘩𝑒 𝑠𝑡𝑜𝑟𝑚 𝑖𝑠 𝑓𝑎𝑠𝑡 𝑑𝑒𝑠𝑐𝑒𝑛𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔, 𝐴𝑛𝑑 𝑦𝑒𝑡 𝐼 𝑐𝑎𝑛𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑔𝑜. 𝐶𝑙𝑜𝑢𝑑𝑠 𝑏𝑒𝑦𝑜𝑛𝑑 𝑐𝑙𝑜𝑢𝑑𝑠 𝑎𝑏𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑚𝑒, 𝑊𝑎𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑠 𝑏𝑒𝑦𝑜𝑛𝑑 𝑤𝑎𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑠 𝑏𝑒𝑙𝑜𝑤; 𝐵𝑢𝑡 𝑛𝑜𝑡𝘩𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑑𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑟 𝑐𝑎𝑛 𝑚𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑚𝑒: 𝐼 𝑤𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑛𝑜𝑡, 𝑐𝑎𝑛𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑔𝑜.

—Emily Jane Brontë, The Night

𝐵𝑙𝑒𝑠𝑠𝑒𝑑 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑝𝑜𝑜𝑟 𝑖𝑛 𝑠𝑝𝑖𝑟𝑖𝑡, 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑖𝑟𝑠 𝑖𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑑𝑜𝑚 𝑜𝑓 ℎ𝑒𝑎𝑣𝑒𝑛.

𝐵𝑙𝑒𝑠𝑠𝑒𝑑 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑜𝑠𝑒 𝑤ℎ𝑜 𝑚𝑜𝑢𝑟𝑛, 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑦 𝑤𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑏𝑒 𝑐𝑜𝑚𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑡𝑒𝑑.

𝐵𝑙𝑒𝑠𝑠𝑒𝑑 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑚𝑒𝑒𝑘, 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑦 𝑤𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑖𝑛ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑖𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑡ℎ.

𝐵𝑙𝑒𝑠𝑠𝑒𝑑 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑜𝑠𝑒 𝑤ℎ𝑜 ℎ𝑢𝑛𝑔𝑒𝑟 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑟𝑠𝑡 𝑎𝑓𝑡𝑒𝑟 𝑟𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡𝑒𝑜𝑢𝑠𝑛𝑒𝑠𝑠, 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑦 𝑤𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑏𝑒 𝑓𝑖𝑙𝑙𝑒𝑑.

𝐵𝑙𝑒𝑠𝑠𝑒𝑑 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑚𝑒𝑟𝑐𝑖𝑓𝑢𝑙, 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑦 𝑠ℎ𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑏𝑒 𝑠ℎ𝑜𝑤𝑛 𝑚𝑒𝑟𝑐𝑦.

𝐵𝑙𝑒𝑠𝑠𝑒𝑑 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑝𝑢𝑟𝑒 𝑖𝑛 ℎ𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑡,𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑦 𝑤𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑠𝑒𝑒 𝐺𝑜𝑑.

𝐵𝑙𝑒𝑠𝑠𝑒𝑑 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑝𝑒𝑎𝑐𝑒𝑚𝑎𝑘𝑒𝑟𝑠, 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑦 𝑤𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑏𝑒 𝑐𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑒𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑠𝑜𝑛𝑠 𝑜𝑓 𝐺𝑜𝑑.

𝐵𝑙𝑒𝑠𝑠𝑒𝑑 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑜𝑠𝑒 𝑤ℎ𝑜 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑝𝑒𝑟𝑠𝑒𝑐𝑢𝑡𝑒𝑑 𝑏𝑒𝑐𝑎𝑢𝑠𝑒 𝑜𝑓 𝑟𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡𝑒𝑜𝑢𝑠𝑛𝑒𝑠𝑠, 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑖𝑟𝑠 𝑖𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑑𝑜𝑚 𝑜𝑓 ℎ𝑒𝑎𝑣𝑒𝑛.

𝐵𝑙𝑒𝑠𝑠𝑒𝑑 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑤ℎ𝑒𝑛 𝑝𝑒𝑜𝑝𝑙𝑒 𝑖𝑛𝑠𝑢𝑙𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢, 𝑝𝑒𝑟𝑠𝑒𝑐𝑢𝑡𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑓𝑎𝑙𝑠𝑒𝑙𝑦 𝑠𝑎𝑦 𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑑𝑠 𝑜𝑓 𝑒𝑣𝑖𝑙 𝑎𝑔𝑎𝑖𝑛𝑠𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑏𝑒𝑐𝑎𝑢𝑠𝑒 𝑜𝑓 𝑚𝑒.  𝑅𝑒𝑗𝑜𝑖𝑐𝑒 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑏𝑒 𝑔𝑙𝑎𝑑, 𝑏𝑒𝑐𝑎𝑢𝑠𝑒 𝑔𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑡 𝑖𝑠 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑟𝑒𝑤𝑎𝑟𝑑 𝑖𝑛 ℎ𝑒𝑎𝑣𝑒𝑛, 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑖𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑠𝑎𝑚𝑒 𝑤𝑎𝑦 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑦 𝑝𝑒𝑟𝑠𝑒𝑐𝑢𝑡𝑒𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑝𝑟𝑜𝑝ℎ𝑒𝑡𝑠 𝑤ℎ𝑜 𝑤𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑏𝑒𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢.

—The Beatitudes, 𝑀𝑎𝑡𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑤 𝟻:𝟹–𝟷𝟸 (𝑁𝐼𝑉)

Hi loves ‧｡⋆

.☘︎ ݁ About me: I'm Jacqueline, She/her, 20, Christian girl, CS major, part time water fairy(lol) 🧚🏽‍♂️₊˚.༄

.☘︎ ݁ Current hobbies: Reading, writing, blogging, playing the violin, debating. ⋆.

.☘︎ ݁ What you'll find on this blog: Art, poetry and other stuffs that resonate with me. *:･

.☘︎ ݁ Favorite authors atm: Donna Tart, Sidney Sheldon, Francine Rivers, Chimamanda Adiche. (Still getting into the classics!!). ₊˚₊𓏲

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.☘︎ ݁My Substack: https://aladyandherquill.substack.com/

𝑀𝑦 𝐷𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑒𝑠𝑡 𝐽𝑜𝑐𝑒𝑙𝑦𝑛, 𝐼𝑡 𝑖𝑠 𝑠𝑡𝑟𝑎𝑛𝑔𝑒 𝑡𝑜 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑘, 𝐼 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒𝑛'𝑡 𝑠𝑒𝑒𝑛 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑠𝑖𝑛𝑐𝑒 𝑎 𝑚𝑜𝑛𝑡ℎ. 𝐼 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑠𝑒𝑒𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑛𝑒𝑤 𝑚𝑜𝑜𝑛, 𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢. 𝐼 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑠𝑒𝑒𝑛 𝑠𝑢𝑛𝑠𝑒𝑡𝑠 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑠𝑢𝑛𝑟𝑖𝑠𝑒𝑠, 𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝑛𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑜𝑓 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑏𝑒𝑎𝑢𝑡𝑖𝑓𝑢𝑙 𝑓𝑎𝑐𝑒. 𝑇ℎ𝑒 𝑝𝑖𝑒𝑐𝑒𝑠 𝑜𝑓 𝑚𝑦 𝑏𝑟𝑜𝑘𝑒𝑛 ℎ𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑡 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑠𝑜 𝑠𝑚𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑦 𝑐𝑎𝑛 𝑏𝑒 𝑝𝑎𝑠𝑠𝑒𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑟𝑜𝑢𝑔ℎ 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑒𝑦𝑒 𝑜𝑓 𝑎 𝑛𝑒𝑒𝑑𝑙𝑒. 𝐼 𝑚𝑖𝑠𝑠 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑠𝑢𝑛 𝑚𝑖𝑠𝑠𝑒𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑓𝑙𝑜𝑤𝑒𝑟; 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑠𝑢𝑛 𝑚𝑖𝑠𝑠𝑒𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑓𝑙𝑜𝑤𝑒𝑟 𝑖𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑑𝑒𝑝𝑡ℎ𝑠 𝑜𝑓 𝑤𝑖𝑛𝑡𝑒𝑟. 𝐼𝑛𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑎𝑑 𝑜𝑓 𝑏𝑒𝑎𝑢𝑡𝑦 𝑡𝑜 𝑑𝑖𝑟𝑒𝑐𝑡 𝑖𝑡𝑠 𝑙𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡 𝑡𝑜, 𝑡ℎ𝑒 ℎ𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑡 ℎ𝑎𝑟𝑑𝑒𝑛𝑠 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑓𝑟𝑜𝑧𝑒𝑛 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑙𝑑 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑎𝑏𝑠𝑒𝑛𝑐𝑒 ℎ𝑎𝑠 𝑏𝑎𝑛𝑖𝑠ℎ𝑒𝑑 𝑚𝑒 𝑡𝑜. 𝐼 𝑛𝑒𝑥𝑡 𝑐𝑜𝑚𝑝𝑒𝑡𝑒 𝑖𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑐𝑖𝑡𝑦 𝑜𝑓 𝑃𝑎𝑟𝑖𝑠, 𝐼 𝑤𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑓𝑖𝑛𝑑 𝑖𝑡 𝑒𝑚𝑝𝑡𝑦 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑖𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑤𝑖𝑛𝑡𝑒𝑟 𝑖𝑓 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒. 𝐻𝑜𝑝𝑒 𝑔𝑢𝑖𝑑𝑒𝑠 𝑚𝑒… 𝐼𝑡 𝑖𝑠 𝑤ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑔𝑒𝑡𝑠 𝑚𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑟𝑜𝑢𝑔ℎ 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑑𝑎𝑦 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑒𝑠𝑝𝑒𝑐𝑖𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑦 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑛𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡. 𝑇ℎ𝑒 ℎ𝑜𝑝𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑎𝑓𝑡𝑒𝑟 𝑦𝑜𝑢'𝑟𝑒 𝑔𝑜𝑛𝑒 𝑓𝑟𝑜𝑚 𝑚𝑦 𝑠𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡, 𝑖𝑡 𝑤𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑏𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑙𝑎𝑠𝑡 𝑡𝑖𝑚𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝐼 𝑙𝑜𝑜𝑘 𝑢𝑝𝑜𝑛 𝑦𝑜𝑢. 𝑊𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝐼 𝑝𝑜𝑠𝑠𝑒𝑠𝑠, 𝐼 𝑟𝑒𝑚𝑎𝑖𝑛 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟𝑠. 𝑇ℎ𝑒 𝐾𝑛𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡 𝑜𝑓 𝑌𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝐻𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑡.

—William Thatcher, A Knight’s Tale -The Letter

𝘛𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘱𝘶𝘵 𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘶𝘭𝘭 𝘢𝘳𝘮𝘰𝘳 𝘰𝘧 𝘎𝘰𝘥, 𝘴𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘥𝘢𝘺 𝘰𝘧 𝘦𝘷𝘪𝘭 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘴, 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘮𝘢𝘺 𝘣𝘦 𝘢𝘣𝘭𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘨𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘢𝘧𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘥𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘯𝘥. 𝘚𝘵𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘧𝘪𝘳𝘮 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘯, 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘭𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘳𝘶𝘵𝘩 𝘣𝘶𝘤𝘬𝘭𝘦𝘥 𝘢𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘸𝘢𝘪𝘴𝘵, 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘦𝘰𝘶𝘴𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘪𝘯 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘤𝘦, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘵 𝘧𝘪𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘴 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘨𝘰𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘭 𝘰𝘧 𝘱𝘦𝘢𝘤𝘦. 𝘐𝘯 𝘢𝘥𝘥𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘰 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴, 𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘶𝘱 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘦𝘭𝘥 𝘰𝘧 𝘧𝘢𝘪𝘵𝘩, 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘤𝘩 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘦𝘹𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘶𝘪𝘴𝘩 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘭𝘢𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘳𝘳𝘰𝘸𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘦𝘷𝘪𝘭 𝘰𝘯𝘦. 𝘛𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘮𝘦𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘴𝘢𝘭𝘷𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘥 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘚𝘱𝘪𝘳𝘪𝘵, 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘤𝘩 𝘪𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘥 𝘰𝘧 𝘎𝘰𝘥. 𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘱𝘳𝘢𝘺 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘚𝘱𝘪𝘳𝘪𝘵 𝘰𝘯 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘰𝘤𝘤𝘢𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘥𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘱𝘳𝘢𝘺𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘳𝘦𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘴. 𝘞𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘪𝘯 𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘥, 𝘣𝘦 𝘢𝘭𝘦𝘳𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘢𝘭𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘬𝘦𝘦𝘱 𝘰𝘯 𝘱𝘳𝘢𝘺𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘓𝘰𝘳𝘥’𝘴 𝘱𝘦𝘰𝘱𝘭𝘦.

—Ephesians 6:13-18