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Ho am I an oyster

my mutuals can do that too but you dont see any snapple facts about them

Oh My God, They Were Roommates

corpse husband x fem! reader 

summary: and they were roommates! oh my god, they were roommates 

request: hi i really like your writing and was wondering if u could write for me :) if possible can u do one were u (fem) and corpse are roommates and u accidentally come into his room while streaming and everyone hear u so you stay and watch. people that he’s playing with and the stream see corpse act very sweet and soft to u. so know everyone is teasing him and he finally admits he has feelings for u on his stream. just a lot of fluff pls and thank u :))

warnings: cursing 

word count: 812

Notes: This is proof read but I could have missed some stuff. I can’t believe I posted twice in a day. Although since its past midnight its techincally the next day, but I haven’t slept. Thank you for the request nonnie and I hope you all enjoy :) 

Living with Corpse was fun. You guys were close friends when you were younger; you moved away but managed to stay friends. You spoke almost every day, and when he started his youtube channel you were one of the first people he told. You had been starting your first year as a middle school literature teacher and wanted to move back home. You didn’t think you’d get the job so you never made any living arrangements. Then the school hired you on short notice and you needed a place to live stat. Corpse was gracious enough and offered to be your roommate. It was supposed to be temporary but here you were almost a year later still living with him.

You didn’t want to move out anyway. You liked living with Corpse; there was never a dull moment with him. You would sit in on his streams and laugh along with him. You got to hear pre-release demos of his songs. You told him the latest insults your students would say to you because middle schoolers are brutal.  You even loved more chill moments of editing and grading next to each other while eating takeout.

You were getting home late from a faculty meeting and walked into Corpse’s office. “Hey Corpse, you wanna order food tonight– aw shit,” you said. You didn’t know Corpse was streaming. He turned around to look at you; you looked like a deer in the headlights. You tried to back out slowly but he stopped you, “No Y/N come in it’s fine,” he said and laughed at your awkward demeanor. “Everyone, say hi to my roommate Y/N,” he said and disconnected his headphones. A series of hellos erupted from his computer’s speakers as the streamers on the other end greeted you excitedly. You walked up to his computer and noticed the chat speed past with a plethora of heys. “Y/N wanna say hi to the stream?” You nodded and got closer to the mic so it could properly pick up your voice.

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MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM THE ONE AND ONI

i just got c5 itto out of pure luck so here's a piece to celebrate it (+ Christmas) weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Reblog if you’re taller than Crash Bandicoot

Hmmm any thoughts?

GUYS I FIGURED IT OUT

Clint in the vents and that’s his whole personality because he wasn’t fleshed out in the movies → Ava in the walls and that’s her whole personality because she wasn’t fleshed out in the movies

Thor eating poptarts and overusing proper words because English isn’t his first language and he’s the comedic relief → Alexei eating Wheaties and overusing proper words because English isn’t his first language and he’s the comedic relief

Natasha pranking and laughing at everyone from the sidelines because fanon decided she’s just silly like that → Yelena pranking and laughing at everyone from the sidelines because canon decided she’s just silly like that

Bruce being a sweet, soft-spoken, unassuming guy but also the most fucking unhinged monstrosity if you catch him on a bad day → Bob being a sweet, soft-spoken, unassuming guy but also the most fucking unhinged monstrosity if you catch him on a sad day

Steve being handed the de facto title of goody two shoes leader despite being the LAST person on board with this → Bucky being handed the de facto title of goody two shoes leader despite being the last person on board with this

Tony being a big-mouthed asshole that’s secretly haunted by his past mistakes which involved publicly supporting the US military via PR stunts as a weapons manufacturer → John being a big-mouthed asshole that’s secretly haunted by his past mistakes which involved publicly supporting the US military via PR stunts as a weapon himself

Me, who hasn't consumed any MCU content in the last 5 years: SIX??? WE WENT THROUGH SIX PHASES ALREADY???????

baby sumo with his dad