I Need A Masachika Is My Life 😔

The Babysitter | Robert 'Bob' Reynolds x fem!Reader | Chapter 1 - Sitters NYC

Summary: You didn’t have any superpowers, nor were you even qualified for the position, yet somehow a mishap between Alexei and Yelena ends up in getting you a new job. Bob-sitter. 

Contents: No Y/N, fem!reader, college student!reader, no warnings apply for this chapter.

A/N: A multipart series?? From me?? who would've thought. We'll have to see where this goes and whether I'll keep it up lmao. Let me know what you think!

Read it on AO3 Chapter 2

1.9K words

“You said babysitter, I get a babysitter, problem solved!” Alexei exclaimed. The girl pinched the skin between her eyebrows, taking a few breaths before turning back to Alexei. 

“I didn’t mean an actual babysitter! I meant a trained professional! Or at least someone with a background check.”

This had been going on for about 5 minutes, ever since you’d arrived at the penthouse of the rebranded Avenger’s Tower. 

“Look, there’s clearly been a misunderstanding here. I can just, you know, leave,” you shrugged to the elevator, slowly picking your bag back up to leave. 

“No, no! You don’t leave. Just wait here,” Alexei insisted. You put your bag back on the floor, unsure of what to do next. 

You should’ve known as soon as the man contacted you through the Sitters NYC app that it was a bust. Who even has kids that need sitting in a place like this? You could still go back to Mrs. Lowinski, go back to cat-sitting the woman’s 17 Sphynx cats. But the lingering cat smell… Not to mention the fact that naked cats get their skin oils everywhere... No— this was a safe bet. 

The duo argued some more before the girl, Lena?, turned to you with a sympathetic smile. “I’m sure you’re very nice and that my father offered you good money, but we had a bit of miscommunication about how to solve a problem. I’m really sorry.” 

“It’s okay, really. Thanks for the generous offer, anyway, Alexei,” you thanked the man with a thin smile, once again picking up your damn bag and heading for the elevator. 

Alexei yelled after you again to wait, but it was clear the man wouldn’t get his way, unfortunately for you. You gave him a sad wave and pressed the button for the elevator. As the doors opened, someone was about to step out when you were about to step inside. You did the awkward side-shuffle to get out of each other's way before he laughed and let you go first. You turned to stand facing the doors and caught a last glimpse of the man’s unruly brown hair before they closed.

✶

“Who was that?” Bob asked as the doors closed. 

“Your babysitter, if it was up to Alexei. We’re trying to find a reliable person who can stay here with you when we go out on missions, but Alexei took it upon himself to get an actual babysitter. For kids. Or cats. Or birds, apparently,” Yelena sighed. 

“You ask for trained professional with background check. We don’t even pass background check!” Alexei shouted. He did have a point, there. 

Bob was about to argue he didn’t need a babysitter, but he probably actually did. He couldn’t be left alone with his thoughts for too long, or he’d spiral real fast. Not good. 

“I mean, besides the company I really don’t think I need someone with much experience or training,” he shrugged. 

“See! Bob agrees. Sitter is sitter,” Alexei grumbled. 

“We’ll talk about this over dinner with the rest of the team,” Yelena spoke, and it was the final word. 

✶

You walked out of the grocery store enlightened. That’s where you’d seen the father-daughter duo before. The Wheaties box. They were part of the so-called ‘New Avengers’. It had been a few months since The Blackout, but you remembered it well. One second you’d been filling the 17 food bowls in Mrs. Lowinski’s kitchen, the next you were back in your childhood home.

You unlocked the front door and loaded your groceries in the cabinets and fridge. You sighed as you sat down on the couch, ready to call Mrs. Lowinski for your job back and to get back on Sitters NYC for more part-time work you could combine with your online classes.

Manhattan - Full-time 3 Children, aged 4, 6 & 9

Brooklyn - Part-time  4 Dogs

Queens - Au Pair 2 Children, aged 5 & 7 1 Cat

Manhattan - Part-time 3 Birds 1 Dog

Manhattan - Part-time 1 Child, age UNDISCLOSED

Ah, Alexei hadn’t taken the ad down yet. He’d been so nice, too. From what he’d described, you figured it was an older child, possibly a teenager, even, who needed someone to spend some time with every now and then. Not allowed to go out by themselves too much, irregular schedule, possible overnight stays. Nothing you couldn’t handle. Too bad it had been a misunderstanding. 

You walked into the kitchen and got ready to prepare dinner for one, again. One day you might put yourself out there. ‘Find someone real nice to take care of you,’ as Mrs. Lowinski had insisted. God, you had really spent too much time with the elderly woman. 

✶

“It really doesn’t sound like a bad idea,” Ava spoke as she munched on some broccoli. 

“It’s not a bad idea, per se, it’s more that there’s factors we need to account for that Alexei overlooked. Like the fact that Bob is essentially a weapon that could be taken advantage of by the wrong person if we let them get too close,” Yelena had a point. 

“I’m not that naive…” Bob chimed in, but everybody knew he was easily influenced. Not to mention he couldn’t control The Void, and where The Sentry was, The Void followed. They couldn’t risk it. 

“I ran a background check, she’s just a college student. We can try it out with the next mission and see if Bob likes her. That’s the most important part, after all,” John argued. He grabbed the pot of potatoes and loaded a pile onto his plate, never satiated. 

“Bob, be like John, eat loads of potatoes. Good for strength,” Alexei’s mouth was full as he spoke. Bob gave him a small smile in acknowledgement, raising his fork which had a potato on it. 

“What does Bucky think?” Ava asked. The man rarely joined them for dinner, usually ‘too busy.’ 

“Haven’t spoken with him about it yet. I’ll call him after dinner to discuss. We need something if we’re gonna be as busy as Valentina is implying we’ll be,” Yelena sighed, stuffing her mouth with chicken. 

“Bob, can you pass me the salt?” She asked, mouth full. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. 

They finished dinner and Bob went to clean up as usual while Yelena called Bucky on speakerphone, still at the dining table. 

“I mean if she passed a background check I see no issue with at least trying it out. It’s not like we have many other options. He doesn’t need an actual caretaker. At least she’s somewhat his age, right? Maybe a little younger?” Bucky’s voice boomed from the phone and filled the room. The man was so up to date with technology, yet was still convinced he needed to talk louder if he was on speaker. 

“I guess. I’ll have Alexei call her back. But it’s NOT my fault if this all goes wrong!” Yelena made it very clear. She was not about to be blamed if this ended in disaster. Best possible outcome; the girl did fine, blended in and spent time with Bob. Worst possible outcome? Who knows. 

✶

”Are you really sure this time?” You asked Alexei over the phone. You’d been down this road with him before. 

“Yes, Yelena asked me to call you herself. You come by tonight to meet the team and meet Bob. Will be fun!” 

“Alright, I’ll be there by 9,” you confirmed. Who named their child Bob in this day and age? 

“See you at 9!” Alexei boasted. The man hung up and you stared at your phone bewildered. He better be right. You better not be going back there for nothing again.

If you wanted to be on time, you’d have to leave soon. You put your shoes back on, grabbed your headphones and bag and ran back out the door. You locked it behind you and sped down the stairs of your building. 

You walked to the subway station and put your earbuds in. Luckily the tower was only a few stops away, or this whole ordeal might’ve been more of a nuisance. The lights flickered irregularly as the metrocar shook through the underground. It seemed as though it was having more trouble than usual, but your trip was short, it didn’t matter as long as you got to your destination. 

The car shook some more as you got off, but it was no longer of any worry. You ran up the stairs of the station and were once again met directly with the entrance to the tower, the second time today. 

You walked back in and pressed the button for the elevator to come down. You sighed and got on, pressing the button for the penthouse and waited for the doors to close. The last thing you saw before they closed was the glass entrance of the tower being shattered. You flinched on instinct, but the elevator was already taking you up and away from the danger. Your heart thrummed in your chest. Was it just an accident, or was something bigger going on? 

Your question was soon answered by an announcement over the intercom. Everybody below the top twenty floors had to evacuate the building. Not you, then. Still, you were worried. 

The elevator came to a halt at the penthouse, doors sliding open agonizingly slow. You were met with a ruckus of people walking around yelling at each other. 

“Babysitter is here!” Alexei yelled as he tugged a red mask over his face. 

“Well that’s great timing, I guess,” Yelena spoke as she sheathed a few knives. She turned to look at you. 

“Bob is in the kitchen. You just need to keep him company for now while we go deal with whatever is going on on the street. We’ll explain everything when we get back. Whatever you do, try to keep him happy, distracted and away from danger. If anything happens to him, your funeral.” The instructions (and threat) were clear. 

Several people with an assortment of weapons bustled around you as you found your way to the kitchen. You looked around for a child, but there didn’t seem to be one in here. The only person you found was the guy you saw getting off the elevator earlier today, with the comfy outfit and tousled hair. He was seated at the breakfast island, watching as the others got ready for what you assumed would be quite the fight. 

“Uh, hi?” It came out as a question unintentionally. He turned to you, your first time catching a good look at his face. 

“Oh! Hi, uhm, you must be the, uh, sitter?” He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. You nodded, putting your bag on the counter and looking him over. You looked around again, no child or teen in sight. 

“Aren’t you supposed to be, like, getting ready for battle?” You mimicked a fighting pose. He chuckled and shook his head. 

“No, it’s usually best to keep me as far away from those kinds of situations as possible…” He looked away, obviously not proud of the fact.

You sought out eye contact and reached out your hand. He looked at it before looking back to your eyes, tentatively reaching out. You introduced yourself and stretched your hand out further, encouraging him to take it. He was like a skittish kitten.

“I’m Bob,” was all you heard before your vision was delved in black and you returned to a memory from a past life left behind.

CHAPTER 2

Uhh check out my fanart of Corpse on instagram

https://www.instagram.com/p/CGHY9sDh8Q-/?igshid=136ygmll7s0du

Astarion, My Beloved 💕

tbf he's gonna need it

#APRILLUC DAY 4

Horse  🐴❤️

TWITTER INSTAGRAM #ARPILLUC GALLERY NAVIGATION

the best thing in the entire goddamn world is the fact that human beings have hands perfectly capable of giving amazing scritches and there are hundreds of animals out there who just love being scritched

If Karl has twt, I'm deactivating 💀💀 I'll delete my entire existence. Don't want that man to know how much of a shrimp i am for him smdkskdkd

How the Four Lords React to Being Thirsted Over

(this is gonna be a little meta/fourth wall break, if this has been done before I am sorry, i thought this would be poggers)

It was Daniela's idea to get each of the Lords a phone. Cassandra thought it would be a horrible idea, but Bela encouraged it thinking it would be incessantly funny.

Dimitrescu: Let me say this first; the phone is too small. The girls had to get her the biggest model of touch screen (a tablet, alcina is a ipad kid now lmao), and it was phone size for her. Alcina has to squint in order to see it properly. Bela messaged her a link, which was a thread of people thirsting over Alcina. (The time it took for her mother to find where the messages were, and how to place her index finger onto the tiny blue link was unspeakably long.) When she finally clicked on the link, she was nearly horrified. All three girls came downstairs when Bela told the other two, and they hid behind a giant pillar. Alcina sat in her white, floral patterned love-seat, her phone in one hand and her tea cup half full of Sanguis Virginis. Her brow was furrowed as she stared at the rectangular glowing object in her hand. "They want to what my what?? These people are dastardly! I bet they are all men too! I'd have half the mind not to hunt them all down and cut them from stomach to throat! Those vile-" She growled under her breath, until Cassandra popping out from behind the wall caught her eye. "Actually, Mother... a good portion of them are women..." Cassandra corrected in hopes of calming her mothers angry flames. Alcina seemed to relax a little in her seat, taking a sip of her wine and taking a deep breath. "Then those people have good taste, if they like me, just not those disgusting men and their foul words," Bela and Daniela followed behind Cassandra like a row of baby ducks, standing on either side of her. "That's not even the bad part... you should see Ethan and the fly swatter..." Bela snickered, covering her mouth to stifle her quiet giggles, and in response Cassandra gave her a hard elbow in the rib. "I know where you sleep!" Bela playfully whispered in as a warning to Cassandra. Alcina rose to her height fully in her seat, obviously not calm anymore. Her eyes were wide and wild when they stared down at the three girls.

"What?!"

Moreau: Sal has accounts on everything, when he got used to having a phone. He couldn't get Hulu or Netflix because you had to pay for it. (This resulted in a call to the girls, he thought his phone was broken when he had to pay for the subscription services) He just watches conspiracy theories and free romantic movies Youtube. So, the three invite Moreau for a tea party at their castle, to show him how to use his phone. To their surprise, he already has accounts on nearly everything. He just needed to know how to use them more in depth. The girls crowded around him, showing him how to use Tumblr first. "See? This is fan-art... it is what fans make of you to show they appreciate or like you! Pretty cool huh?" Bela pointed to the screen once they got to the search his name. Hundreds of different things came up such as fan-art, fan-fictions, headcanons, 'x readers', and more. As Salvatore's eyes scanned the screen, he sighed happily. "There... are that many people out there that like me?" The girls patted him on the back when he began to cry reading all of the kind things that people had wrote to him. "I want to give them all a hug," He wailed, wiping his tears with both hands. The phone sat on the table, and the girls looked at each other. They felt bad, not wanting to get the phone to make Sal cry. Cassandra rolled her eyes at the other girls when she noticed they looked unsure. "It's alright, I am sure you will be able to," Cassandra rubbed his back soothingly. Moreau threw his arms around her, the thought overwhelming him and eventually starting to sob worse than before. (He appreciates the fan-made stuff, lets just say :])

Heisenberg: The girls would've thrown a tea party for Heisenberg, even willing to make their poor uncle-figure need to dress up but... Alcina hated the idea of Karl coming over to the castle. So she reluctantly allowed the girls over to his factory. Bela, Daniela and Cassandra sat on one side of the rusty table and Karl sat on the other with his booted-feet up. The girls went through his phone, downloading different popular apps they wouldn't think he'd use. They taught him how to use them, and left for their castle for the night. Later that night, the man stared at the glass screen while smoking a cigar. He opened the lock-screen, went onto Tumblr, and searched his name. Big mistake... He sat back into his chair, blowing curls of gray smoke into the air. He chuckled at a couple of comments that people had left under some goofy fan-art... and that's when he saw it. He had nearly dropped his cigar when he saw a thread of fan-art of him shirtless. "They made me so hot..." He looked down at his stomach, and back at the fan-art which displayed a 6-pack. "They are so generous for giving me a fucking 6-pack... damn I got to work on this," (say it with me, Karl. has. a. dad. bod. THANK YOU.) He scrolled, seeing a few more pieces of fan-art of him shirtless but them he saw numerous NSFW fan-fictions about himself. Karl gasped, putting his cigar down and clicking the 'read more,' option. Soon it was midnight. And he had read so... so many fan-fictions about himself... His eyes were red and he had eye-bags under them. "Jesus Christ these people are fucking freaks," (this is a compliment i promise)

Beneviento: Donna is very confused at first at the concept of a phone and is the Lord that takes the longest to get the hang of it, but when she sees people calling her portrait (yes portrait instead of picture she calls it) beautiful she is instantly like ":o". She is very flustered, but goes through every single fan-fic, headcanon, and piece of fan-art that is under her name. She enjoys every bit of it. Cassandra, Bela and Daniela were very surprised when Donna told them she went through every bit of fanart, because it was nearly impossible. But Donna ate it up, feeling quite flattered and joyous. Angie did too, and after Donna showed her the fan-art about her, she was a giggling mess! Donna never expected to be called such positive names, and almost didn't believe it at first. Angie and the three girls reassured Donna though, and she eventually came around to use her phone. She eventually became dependant on it.

LEVI 🔈 ACKERMAN🔈 IS🔈 NOT🔈 A🔈SEX🔈OBJECT🔈❗️❗️❗️