Ra’s, admiring the Batfamily from afar: how does Bruce inspire such LOYALTY without compromising skill and endurance?
Bruce, back in the Cave: if you can do this handstand for five minutes straight I’ll teach you how to dislocate someone’s elbow without breaking it
Tim, shaking like a chihuahua: and?
Bruce, sighing: and afterwards we can run the evac simulator together
Tim now upside down: with—
Bruce: —with popcorn, yes
In the current canon, Damian wants to leave Robin's position and move into the medical field, unlike his older brothers who are vigilantes in adulthood. It's quite therapeutic for him and I think it's a good ending.
Tim is still Robin at 40, though. 🧍
Thinking about the Bats suppressing their injuries and how yes, they have crazy high pain tolerance, and yes, they are in peak human condition, but ALSO, they do Too Much Shit sometimes and have definitely made injuries worse by accidentally ignoring them
Like, imagine one of them throws out their back doing something Totally Normal and Mundane so they just. Ignore it. Because I literally sneezed, it can’t be that bad, right?
(Spoiler alert: it is that bad)
Tim, moving more slowly than normal and grimacing every few seconds: damn maybe I pulled something
Jason, stopping by to pick up some things he needs while Bruce is out: ?? What’ja do?
Tim: I dunno, but my back really fucking hurts and I’m starting to get all numb and tingly
Jason: ?!?!?
Jason: How long has it been hurting????
Tim: I don’t know??? I guess, like, a few hours???
Jason: What did you do????
Tim: I DON’T KNOW, MAN, IT STARTED AFTER I SNEEZED
Jason, laughing: YOU HURT YOURSELF BY FUCKING SNEEZING????
Tim: THAT LITERALLY CANNOT BE THE CAUSE
Jason: I dunno man, kinda sounds like it
Jason, in tears: Maybe it’s time to retire
Tim: FUCK YOU IM FINE
Tim: WATCH I’LL PROVE IT
Tim, about to do a backflip: oh fuck- OW
Tim: *passes out from the pain*
Jason, still laughing his ass off: Nice landing, Timmy!
Tim:
Jason: Timmy?
Tim:
Jason: Tim?
Jason: oh shit—
Damian Wayne goes to medical school to become a doctor and IMMEDIATELY the rouge gallery tries to indoctrinate him into being evil.
It’s not even that they know he’s Robin, it’s just that they think it’d be hilarious if they made Brucie Wayne’s son evil.
I think the sky is trying to say something? 🤔 👀 🏳️⚧️
i hand batman a baby. batman takes the baby. bruce wayne adopts the baby. the baby is introduced to the family. the family is not impressed.
-
Bruce, cooing over his new baby: aw, good evening honey, did you have a nice nap? of course you did, daddy was here the whole time! *proceeds to kiss the baby’s cheek multiple times*
Damian, beside them: *actively bleeding*
Tim: do you feel it now
Tim: do you feel your significance slowly dwindling
Tim: you are a middle child now damian
Tim: do you understand your fate. a middle child, damian. a middle child.
Damian:
Damian, unsheathing his sword: not for long
Before the baby’s Arrival…
Jason, admiring a motorcycle:
Bruce: *buys five*
Jason, glances at a shirt:
Bruce: *buys every color*
Jason: *stomach growls*
Bruce: *books the most expensive restaurant*
After the baby’s Arrival…
Jason: b
Bruce, attentively listening to the baby’s babbling, not even turning his head: hm?
Jason: can i buy this
Bruce, imitating airplanes to feed the baby: sure *tosses card*
Jason:
Jason: im hungry
Bruce, playing peek-a-boo: alfred. kitchen.
Jason:
Jason: *pretends to faint*
Bruce, moves baby away to safey, not sparing him a glance: yes sweetie that’s your brother jay. can you say it? say j-a-y
Baby, giggling, slapping jason’s face: da!
Bruce, gushing in excitement, picking the baby up: da?! did you say dad?! im right here baby! dad’s here!!
Jason:
Jason, still laying on the floor:
Jason, curling up:
Tim, walking by: middle child…the curse of the middle child…
Baby:
Dick: BABY :DD!!
Baby, with Bruce:
Dick: baby :D!
Baby, with Bruce, whose time and attention is now solely dedicated to the baby:
Dick: baby :)
Baby, with Bruce, whose time and attention is now solely dedicated to the baby, which means he no longer pays attention to his first child:
Dick: baby :(
Baby, with Bruce, whose time and attention is now solely dedicated to the baby, which means he no longer pays attention to his first child who just wants to spend time with his dad again because he misses him so much:
Dick: BABY >:[
Cass:
Baby:
Cass:
Baby:
Baby: *cries*
Cass: *narrows eyes*
Baby: *cries louder*
Cass: *hears bruce’s footsteps*
Cass, eyes narrowing again: smart baby
Baby: *stops crying* *smiles* *starts crying again*
Cass: you think dad will pick you?
Cass: *also starts crying*
Bruce, banging the door open, doesnt even notice Cass: BABY
Baby, sniffling, already being rocked in Bruce’s arms:
Baby, making eye contact with Cass:
Cass:
Cass: *starts crying for real*
Jim:
Barbara, glaring at her phone:
Jim:
Jim: haven’t seen bruce around these days…
Barbara: *glares at phone even harder*
Jim: must be busy with his new baby
Barbara: *types furiously while still glaring*
Jim: who knows how long ‘til he visits again
Barbara: *tosses phone out the window and leaves the room*
Duke, leaning against Bruce while playing a game:
Baby, on Bruce’s chest:
Baby: *slaps Duke’s game away*
Duke:
Duke, pursing his lips: *picks game back up* *leans against bruce again*
Baby:
Baby: *slaps Duke’s game away*
Duke: IS IT ‘CAUSE IM BLACK
Spoiler, tapping her foot impatiently: ugh where is he
Batman, gliding in:
Spoiler: finally! you’re la— IS THAT THE BABY.
Batman, baby strapped to his chest, wearing their own domino mask: …hm.
Spoiler: why. did you bring the baby.
Spoiler: it’s our hang-out day
Spoiler: me and you fighting crime and sitting on rooftops eating bat burgers
Batman, cowl ears drooping: …but the baby…
Spoiler, tears in her eyes: just admit you dont love us anymore!
Spoiler: *runs off*
Batman, in shock:
Spoiler, getting in the batmobile parked nearby: how was that
Red Robin, handing her money: perfect
Robin: tt this had better work
Oracle, watching Batman pace around guiltily through a camera: it will.
Orphan and Red Hood, huddled at the back, both mumbling: he ignored us…his favorites…he ignored…
Nightwing, also mumbling: replaced again…how many more times…
Signal: *snoring*
posting it here because there's no chance anyone in my family would ever see it: this is how my brother's 13-year-old child decided to announce something to me
In my DnD AU I just made up, this happens whenever they have to pair up.
Dick : so yeah, we should definitely- oh hey jason, do you want to join us? We were planning to go to the movies-
Jason, who's looking down at his phone, walking past them,
Jason : maby another time, dad.
Dick :
Tim :
Damian :
Duke :
Jason, just walking off, leaving them baffled.
Duke : ..what just happend?
Dick : oh no..do I.. look like bruce?..
Tim who's being frantic : did he even notice that he called you- wait what? How-
Damian : does todd think...
Duke : is this normal? Did this happen before?!
Tim : ...no. sure, dick is a great older brother but none of us ever called him dad..
Damian : I'm sure todd ment to say dick, but misspoke..
Dick : do I look like b?!!!
Jason, who recently found out that dick tried to adopt him, and now to mess with bruce, calling dick dad and B gramps.