PLZ REBLOG

If Cthulhu can be summoned by humans who are so far beneath it, why can’t humans be summoned by ants? The answer is they should be.

Is the horse Sleipnir? If it’s him that means that he’s Loki’s son. Loki literally gave birth to a horse with 8 legs in the myths.

If Loki had any kind of pet he would definitely make them some little golden horns. Just imagine him shaping some tinfoil and spray painting it gold to put on his pet cat, or someone else's cat like Bucky's to mess with him.

Sorry my posts haven't been as frequent or funny as usual. It's because I'm eating well, sleeping regularly, and exercising

Theoretically the person in the government who’s in charge of who gets to talk and when should just be some random person who doesn’t give a flying fuck about politics, doesn’t know who any of the politicians are, only ever votes based on vibes and who has the best logo. They should also exclusively refer to the different politicians as if they’re a shitty substitute teacher filling in at a rough school. Like, [referring to Ebba Busch] “You there, the blonde lady, with the shitty makeup, who doesn’t seem to like Muslims very much? Yes you. What did you want to say?” Or like “Hey you, yeah you, the really short guy?”

-Sometimes when Cass is trying to speak, her mind will inexplicably go blank as if all the words she knows have disappeared from her brain. Every time this happens she’ll subconsciously start blinking really aggressively like she’s trying to do a hard reset on her brain while she’s trying to form a semi cohesive sentence. Dick has pretty long eyelashes and a few of them grow in weird directions in such a way that they’re tangling together and whenever he can feel it he starts blinking like that.

some of the habits different robins didnt realize came from Dick:

-Jason has kept the same stretching routine this whole time, even Dick has changed his, but Jason does the one that dick used to do in preparation for his circus act.

-When Tim taps his feet while writing out a report, he always taps out the same rhythm, the same one Dick used to do when he had to sit for long periods of time.

-Everytime Steph ties up her hair she uses a blue hair tie, they were the only ones around in the batcave when she needed one and then it became tradition for her. Dick used blue ones when he had longer hair because its his favorite color.

-Damian always rolls his right shoulder when hes standing around, he doesn't know why he does it or even notices that he does it. Dick injured his right shoulder years ago and it always needs to be stretched out or it gets stiff.

My personal and somewhat flawed lists of the batfams ages from oldest to youngest are:

1. The (mostly) relative to each other list:

Alfred: either an old human or an at least 200 year old immortal fae creature with the appearance of an old British human butler

Bruce took Dick in when he’d been Batman for 3 years, so: 3 + (age Bruce became Batman) - (age Dick became an orphan) = X years older than Dick

Babs: Dick’s age + 1

Dick: Babs’ age - 1

Jason: Dick’s age - 5 (when Bruce adopted him J was 12 or 13 and Dick was 17 or 18)

Cass: Tim’s age + 1 or 2 (at least 2 months older than Steph)

Steph: Tim’s age + 1

Tim: old enough to remember the night Dick became an orphan, so was like 2 at the time

Duke: Tim’s age or a year younger

Damian: somewhere between 10 and 14, at most 15 or so

2. The (mostly) with actual numbers list (current ages):

Alfred: either a 67+ year old human or a 200+ year old immortal fae creature with the appearance of an old British human butler

Bruce: at least 45, at most 54 probably 47, 48 or 49

Babs: at least 26, at most 31, probably 28 or 29

Dick: at least 25, at most 30, probably 27 or 28

Jason: at least 20, at most 25, probably 23

Cass: at least 18, at most 24, probably 22

Steph: at least 18, at most 23, probably 21

Tim: at least 17, at most 21, probably 20

Duke: at least 16, at most 21, probably 19

Damian: at least 10, at most 15, probably 12 or 13

3. The one far too long sentence explanation:

Alfred is old enough to have raised Bruce after his parents died, Bruce is old enough to have taken in Dick during his third year of being Batman, Dick was not quite ten years old yet when Bruce took him in, Babs is a year older than Dick, Jason was adopted when he was like 12 or 13, which was after Dick stopped being Robin at the age of 17 or 18, Tim is old enough to remember being at the circus when Dick’s parents died, Dick was still Robin when a nine year old Tim had started following him around on patrol, Jason died at 15, Tim started training to become Robin a few months later, after noticing how violent Bruce had become and contacting Dick didn’t work, Tim trained to be Robin for a year before he became Robin at 13 or 14, Steph met Tim while they were in costume as Spoiler and Robin and she was 16 as of not too long after that, Cass is a year older than Steph, Damian is old enough to remember meeting Jason when they were both in The League Of Assassins at the same time, when Tim was 17, Talia dropped off a 10 year old Damian in Gotham, Bruce got stuck in the time stream for a year a few months later, Duke became Signal when he was 16, Bruce also became his foster dad around that time, Tim is somehow still 17 when Damian turns 14.

4. Honorable mentions list:

Roy Harper: Dick’s age - 1, at least 24, at most 29, probably 27

Lian Harper: somewhere between 17 to 21 years younger than Roy, at least 3, at absolute most 12, probably 5 to 8, most likely 7 or so

Cal-El/Clark Kent: old enough to have a child that’s just turned 21

Kon-El/Konner Kent (spelling his human name as Konner with a K just makes more sense to me and the alliteration is nice, okay?): The aforementioned 21 year old, because this makes him roughly the same age as Tim and of legal drinking age

Bernard Dowd: also roughly Tim’s age

Jon-El/Jonathan Kent (Clark’s son, who’s alive, why are there so many people named Jonathan Kent???): Damian’s age

Jor-El/Jordan Kent (Jon’s twin brother who I’m not sure even exists outside the arrowverse and one fic I’ve read): him and Jon are both the same age as Damian

Trying to figure out a reasonable age difference for the Robins is like the worst math word problem except you measure the answer with your heart

it must be so awkward to be one of dionysus's kids at camp halfblood like not only is ur father literally twelve feet away from you playing cards with chiron but he's a campus meme. he is forced to stay legally sober because ur grandpa is mad at him. he burns through 80 diet cokes a day. he regularly fake claims kids in order to bully them into getting him wine. he's just some insane little guy. and he's ur DAD

He’s in such severe denial omfg

Something about FNAF 3 and Fazbear Frights taking place in 2023 in our current social media landscape

(part 2)

That last one was truly epic

Three is one of my favorite numbers so your age being ten of them is pretty damn amazing, on top of that being in your thirties means that half of your life will have gone by since the time when you had to fight tooth and nail to stay alive as a teenager.

the older i get and the closer i am to reaching 30, the more the people around me try to deny me my age. it’s a constant ‘oh you’re just turning 29 again teehee 🤭’ or ‘dont tell your SO that, he’ll leave you for a younger model 😉’ and i just???? hate it?????????

i spent my entire teenaged years fighting for my life. i crawled through the deepest pits of my depression to cling to the promise of a life beyond that pain. i was so convinced that i was going to die young, that i would never see the grace of my age starting with a 2, let alone 3.

so im going to turn 30, and there’s not a damn thing anyone can do to stop me from loving it.