1-2706-9001 - NEVER FORGET WHAT THEY TOOK FROM YOU

AS A SOCIETY WE ARE MUCH TOO WILLING TO SETTLE FOR THE WORST INSTEAD OF STRIVING TO BE OUR BEST BECAUSE IT IS EASIER AND MORE COMFORTABLE.

LIFE IS ABOUT EXPERIENCES AND LEARNING. WE SIMPLY CANNOT ACHIEVE THAT BY STAYING IN PLACE.

AS THIS LAST YEAR HAS GONE ON, I HAVE BEEN RELATIVELY AWARE OF MY GROWTH AND CHANGE. I'VE PRIDED MYSELF ON THE LARGER THINGS LIKE GOING CLEAN, LEARNING TO CARE FOR MYSELF EMOTIONALLY AND PHYSICALLY, ENTERING A HEALTHIER AND NON ABUSIVE MINDSET TOWARDS MYSELF, AND SO ON.

BUT IT IS THE THINGS I DON'T PAY SO MUCH MIND TO THAT ALWAYS SHOCK ME THE MOST. THINGS YOU WOULD NOT STOP TO THINK ABOUT LIKE FADING FROM RELATIONSHIPS (GIVEN HOW NATURALLY IT CAN HAPPEN). PEOPLE I USED TO RELY ON AND BE SO CLOSE WITH HAVE BECOME MEMORIES THAT I DON'T OFTEN THINK ABOUT AS I USED TO. I NO LONGER RECALL FACES SO CLEARLY. I NO LONGER FIND MYSELF THINKING OF THEM ON A REGULAR BASIS.

IN A WAY, IT IS SAD TO COME TO THIS REALIZATION. MY GROWTH IN THIS LAST YEAR HAS BEEN ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY TO MY SURVIVAL, I WAS FRESH OUT OF THE HOSPITAL, STILL IN CONSIDERATION OF KICKING THE BUCKET TO AVOID ANYMORE STRESS. I WAS SICK, NOT EATING, EITHER NOT SLEEPING AT ALL OR SLEEPING TO MUCH, FAILING CLASSES, AVOIDING PEOPLE, NEVER LEAVING THE HOUSE, AND SO ON. I HAVE COME A LONG WAY. I HAVE FINALLY GAINED WEIGHT, I HAVE BECOME MORE OPEN WITH FRIENDS AND MORE COMFORTABLE WITH MYSELF. LIFE IS LIVABLE AT WORST AND ENJOYABLE ON AN AVERAGE DAY.

BUT WITH THIS NEWFOUND FREEDOM, I STILL HAVE HAD LOSSES. IT SCARES ME TO THINK ABOUT THE WAY THINGS USED TO BE. SOMETIMES THE THOUGHT OF OLD FRIENDS MAKES ME APPREHENSIVE BECAUSE OF THE ASSOCIATION WITH A WORSE VERSION ME. ACTIVITIES I USED TO ENJOY MATTER SO LITTLE TO ME NOW. IT IS DIFFICULT TO MOURN A PART OF YOURSELF THAT FELT SO CRUEL, BUT MY HEART ALSO ACHES FOR THE NOSTALGIA OF IT ALL. IT CONFUSES ME.

AT THE END OF THE DAY, I KNOW I WILL BE FINE. I WILL HAVE MY UPS AND DOWNS BUT I WILL BE OKAY. THE PASTS MATTERS SO LITTLE NOW. EVEN WHEN I WORRY ABOUT IT LIKE I AM CURRENTLY, I CAN'T BE BOTHERED TO WORRY TOO MUCH.

I JUST HOPE MY OLD FRIENDS ARE ALRIGHT. I HOPE MY FAMILY, WHEREVER THEY ARE, IS DOING OKAY NOW. I HOPE MY DOG IS HAPPY. I HOPE THEY DON'T THINK TO HARSHLY OF THE VERSION OF ME THEY USED TO KNOW. I'M SORRY I LET YOU GO SO EASILY.

technically we’re ALL, always LARPing, because the Self is only a construct,

P3 like. Lesbian

You know what absolutely boggles my mind? That healthy people exist. Genuinely healthy people. No mental illness, no physical illness, no chronic illness. Just healthy. What a life that must be. 

EVERY TIME I START TO ACCEPT MY SUFFERING AND I CALM DOWN ANOTHER SFUPID THING POPS UP KITTEN DADDY CANT TAKE THIS ANYMORE😭😭😭

babygirl im gonna fuck you until you can walk #divinemiraclepenis

DON'T PUT YOUR TRIGGERS AND/OR PHOBIAS IN YOUR WEBSITES/PINNED POSTS/BIOS/ETC. FOR EVERYONE ON THE INTERNET TO SEE. ONLY TRUSTED PEOPLE SHOULD KNOW THAT INFORMATION, NOT THE WHOLE INTERNET. YOU WILL GET HURT!!! MEAN PEOPLE WILL USE IT AGAINST YOU!!!