Yeah. Yeah They’re Putting Me In The Torture Labyrinth Again. No There’s Not Even A Minotaur

army of little sucklepigs ready to bbeg for my attnetion

You can survive almost anything through the right combination of:

Bitching and moaning

Hater-ology

Doing a goofy little bit about it

Having a buddy say "that's so fucked up" at intermittent points (you can also be your own buddy)

Destroying the cursed amulet you carry everywhere, why do you even have that thing

unfortunate news being aroace does not give you immunity against yearning . sorry. i know . i was disappointed to learn it too

puppy want a treat?

puppy want a fucking break from it all

AS THIS LAST YEAR HAS GONE ON, I HAVE BEEN RELATIVELY AWARE OF MY GROWTH AND CHANGE. I'VE PRIDED MYSELF ON THE LARGER THINGS LIKE GOING CLEAN, LEARNING TO CARE FOR MYSELF EMOTIONALLY AND PHYSICALLY, ENTERING A HEALTHIER AND NON ABUSIVE MINDSET TOWARDS MYSELF, AND SO ON.

BUT IT IS THE THINGS I DON'T PAY SO MUCH MIND TO THAT ALWAYS SHOCK ME THE MOST. THINGS YOU WOULD NOT STOP TO THINK ABOUT LIKE FADING FROM RELATIONSHIPS (GIVEN HOW NATURALLY IT CAN HAPPEN). PEOPLE I USED TO RELY ON AND BE SO CLOSE WITH HAVE BECOME MEMORIES THAT I DON'T OFTEN THINK ABOUT AS I USED TO. I NO LONGER RECALL FACES SO CLEARLY. I NO LONGER FIND MYSELF THINKING OF THEM ON A REGULAR BASIS.

IN A WAY, IT IS SAD TO COME TO THIS REALIZATION. MY GROWTH IN THIS LAST YEAR HAS BEEN ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY TO MY SURVIVAL, I WAS FRESH OUT OF THE HOSPITAL, STILL IN CONSIDERATION OF KICKING THE BUCKET TO AVOID ANYMORE STRESS. I WAS SICK, NOT EATING, EITHER NOT SLEEPING AT ALL OR SLEEPING TO MUCH, FAILING CLASSES, AVOIDING PEOPLE, NEVER LEAVING THE HOUSE, AND SO ON. I HAVE COME A LONG WAY. I HAVE FINALLY GAINED WEIGHT, I HAVE BECOME MORE OPEN WITH FRIENDS AND MORE COMFORTABLE WITH MYSELF. LIFE IS LIVABLE AT WORST AND ENJOYABLE ON AN AVERAGE DAY.

BUT WITH THIS NEWFOUND FREEDOM, I STILL HAVE HAD LOSSES. IT SCARES ME TO THINK ABOUT THE WAY THINGS USED TO BE. SOMETIMES THE THOUGHT OF OLD FRIENDS MAKES ME APPREHENSIVE BECAUSE OF THE ASSOCIATION WITH A WORSE VERSION ME. ACTIVITIES I USED TO ENJOY MATTER SO LITTLE TO ME NOW. IT IS DIFFICULT TO MOURN A PART OF YOURSELF THAT FELT SO CRUEL, BUT MY HEART ALSO ACHES FOR THE NOSTALGIA OF IT ALL. IT CONFUSES ME.

AT THE END OF THE DAY, I KNOW I WILL BE FINE. I WILL HAVE MY UPS AND DOWNS BUT I WILL BE OKAY. THE PASTS MATTERS SO LITTLE NOW. EVEN WHEN I WORRY ABOUT IT LIKE I AM CURRENTLY, I CAN'T BE BOTHERED TO WORRY TOO MUCH.

I JUST HOPE MY OLD FRIENDS ARE ALRIGHT. I HOPE MY FAMILY, WHEREVER THEY ARE, IS DOING OKAY NOW. I HOPE MY DOG IS HAPPY. I HOPE THEY DON'T THINK TO HARSHLY OF THE VERSION OF ME THEY USED TO KNOW. I'M SORRY I LET YOU GO SO EASILY.

some of y’all cherish loneliness and being alone and privacy a lil too much...let ppl in..have some fun connecting with others. you find who u are in ur interactions with other people

“He viewed his own mentality as grotesque but useful, like a chair made of antlers.”

— Thomas Harris, Red Dragon (via bluebeardsbride)

“yo bro try my cart” then five minutes later im seeing this (it was probably laced)

SOMETIMES, I AM JUST GLAD THAT IT IS ALL OVER. THE STRESS OF MANY THINGS OFTEN LINGERS OVER ME BUT THAT DOES NOT ALWAYS OVERPOWER THE COMFORT OF NEWER THINGS THAT I HAVE COME TO EMBRACE.

A FRESH WOUND, SURE, BUT IN TIME THE HARMFUL MEMORIES WILL MIX IN WITH THE PLEASANT ONES AND THE STRESS WILL UNDOUBTEDLY BECOME MORE BEARABLE.

I HAVE TIME. I HAVE THE ABILITY TO FIND PEACE WITHIN MYSELF IF ONLY I ALLOW IT.

honestly i know we're all imagining will's and hannibal's texts to be super spicy and horny but in actuality it would literally be this